I HATE every woman in my boyfriends life family or not I know its weird im trying to stop and get over myself. But I just hate when he gives other women more attention than me it pisses me off. I am sheltered and not from a close family. So I feel like like everyone in his family is oddly close & I hate it. His 22 year old male cousin still cuddles up to his 16 year old sister in her bed for example. I JUST HATE HOW CLOSE EVERYONE IS IN HIS FAMILY IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE. Guys I literally had a nightmare one night that my bf was fucking his mom & im in so much fear over it lol I think I need help pls help me. I know if he finds out how crazy jealous I am of his women family members he will think im weird & leave or something. I think I am fucked in the head for this. I get so uncomfortable when they like touch him and stuff it makes me feel weird & when they call him "hunny" and the married women in the family have him over like twice a week having him do chores for them. PLS dont be to harsh I know this is weird. Why does my mind work like this?
How to get over being a weirdo jealous girlfriend
guys I literally get so bitter and jealous he can already tell I think & the way my head works when they are touching him or something my mind thinks they are doing it on purpose to show ownership & to purposely make me jealous.
Its not jealousy unless you want to substitute yourself into these situations.
you might not be identifying your feeling correctly.
explain more please, I'm trying to understand idk why my thinking is so screwed up for situations that are "normal" to others
What kind of feeling could it be?
I can agree this is a little strange, I have quite a close family but things like touching and calling each other names like 'hunny' aren't things at ALL.
Jealousy may not sound exactly right here but worries of that which your boyfriend might be doing shady things behind your back with his own family or something.
Either way, the jealousy part does seem to be the attention part. But it's just such a complicated issue for some randomers on Jow Forums to really analyze and give a detailed and proper way to handle it.
So, the best you can do is relax, and start to analyze things with a level-headed mind.
Ask yourself: Are they just a happy loving connected family and I'm just seeing the way they treating each other as something more?
Anyway, they're his family, he isn't going to leave you for them, so no matter what attention he gives don't be too worried. He would be a really messed up person to leave you for them, but the best way is to just all come together happily.
This is the best advice I can give, it's really complicated and I wish the best.
This is so well written I am sorry all my shit was jumbled together lol
My boyfriends father passed away when he was young although his parents were divorced at the time and his father was remarried his mother pushes herself on his dad side of the family as the widowed wife victim type of roll. Its clear to see her presents isn't very much welcomed & its not her they really invite out. Like I said my boyfriends dad was remarried so I could see how this would make the real widowed wife feel like. It would be understandable her being there with her 23 year old son that could go by himself to the family things on his dads side if she was pushing this whole widowed wife victim roll on them constantly. its very strange. Anyways side tracked. Back to the point she guilt trips him and manipulates him telling him his father told him to take care of her and just a bunch of weird non sense that makes my boyfriend drops our plans and me for whatever small thing it is that she needs him to do. She depends on him very emotionally I feel like they are a lot like HUSBAND & WIFE. I think she replaced his dad with the only thing she had left which is her son. but it just makes me so uncomfortable to be around it all the time. The nick names when hes 23 and the touching. when I was comforting him the other day she came up and brushed his cheek like it all around gives me a bad vibe and I hate it. theres so much to include in this posting
I made a lot of typos in this *presence *role *drop I'm sorry if I sound stupid I am so tired x
One of the best things you can do is come forward with your emotions.
You can speak with her one on one kindly, and just explain to her you feel uncomfortable with how you're acting around him.
It may also be a good idea to speak with him, maybe he feels uncomfortable but like a guy does, he holds it inside because he doesn't want to be kind.
He may feel off by it, or maybe it is how she always treated him and he won't notice. Just do what is best for your relationship, and do a bit of non-intrusive investigating if you can just in case there's something shady going on, you know?
And with some of the things you said, those might be valid reasons why that stuff happens. You'll just need to ask and talk and just find out more for your own sake in the relationship.
okay this is some more specific shit.
a step-relative isn't really a woman family member the same way his two opposite-sex cousins are.
it sounds like you might have some concerns that bear further review. but you can't handle them effectively if you don't calm the fuck down like said and can't formulate a clear thought.
be cool. and pay attention. Some things are probably just the differences between you, and you need to use your judgement with reasoning about what actually isnt a problem, and what might reasonably be a problem.
I use to be like you
He'll break your heart and you'll learn how to be more accepting of female/male platonic relationships just for the sake of keeping the person you love around
This is so sad. I sometimes feel not as loved as his family is & its never a problem ive had in relationships before. I really don't know how to handle it. I hate when i get dropped for them i hate how they constantly call him & "need" him. My relationship feels so sabotaged by his own family
You should sincerely share the feelings you have with him, don't hide the feelings but also do take care and prepare for what may come out of it.
Be strong girl!
Thanks so much! x
I think he knows I dont think its normal I've explained to him how maybe I just come from a different family where not everyone is so close. Ya know like my mom never touched on my brother or anything or emotionally relayed on him. I think he understands but not fully because my abnormal is his normal. If it was a make it break I feel he would definitely drop me & not the lovey dovey act with his other family members. Thanks for your encouragement x
Good to hear, just keep it up and do what your heart tells you, and use the advice provided to help.
Bye user :)
Sounds like you have some abandonment issues. Where’s your dad?
Take up some hobbies, see a psychologist, and perhaps study a bit of the core principles of Buddhism, like creating more space in between thoughts and not attaching your emotions to thoughts.
you’re jealous over your boyfriend’s mom and aunts and shit calling him honey and touching him? get a fucking grip. you’re fucked in the head, you’re absolutely right.
i get jealous too but over my boyfriend’s female friends, not his family. he has a twin sister he’s close to and it doesn’t even cross my mind to feel jealous, that’s some next level fuckery.
>itt: emotionally stunted 4chaners who didn’t have moms that called them by affectionate pet names and think terms like “honey” and “dear” are reserved for romantic couplings
the only name i can think of that would be sort of weird and inappropriate is if she were calling him babe or baby. otherwise get the fuck over it.
Nah i personally don't feel its a normal relationship that's the problem I'm dealing with trying to find out if these emotions are invalid or valid & if valid I need to get to the bottom of what causes them so i can fix it.
I am from a state that gets poked fun at a lot for being incest ridden & I've personally have not ever met a family where the members are this close but who knows maybe im crazy im just trying to solve this thanks for your input! xx
There's also a lot i didnt mention theres far much more to this. His mother is very jealous also my boyfriend has told me things like she will guilt trip him and make him feel bad for being around me "to much" so he ends up doing something with her instead. Like ofc this is where it begins to cause issues because now I'm also getting jealous because thats putting me in competition with someone for my boyfriends time. Along with the fucking baby talk i cant stand & the touching & shit when im touching him its weird vibes. I feel weird around it.
his family is affectionate with him and yours wasn’t with you so you feel uncomfortable. but being affectionate with your family in the way you’re describing is healthy and normal. this is a personal issue. i suggest you look into therapy to deal with the attachment issues you clearly have stemming from your emotionally invalidating childhood.
Also to add to all of this she won't even let my bf leave the state he lives in because she will throw a huge fit crying and all begging him not to & telling him he cant go. It feels like my boyfriend has a wife its pathetic i have to be in competition with his mother and family & i have to fight for him with them..