I've been with my boyfriend for about three years. I'm 21. He's 27...

I've been with my boyfriend for about three years. I'm 21. He's 27. Lately he's been doing something that absolutely bores me. Every afternoon, after work, he falls asleep while we watch tv. All the time. It's awful. Sometimes I get really bored or maybe just tired and shake him to ask him to go to bed, and he fights me on it until like 12 am. It's so boring and annoying.
Is there a way I can talk to him about It? Or should I just break up with him? We've lived together for 3 years now and this has been a thing for six months now.

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Right now he's asleep and I have no idea what to do. I'm so bored. It was my day off work so I've interacted with no one today. He's just sitting there, snoring away.

>Is there a way I can talk to him about It? Or should I just break up with him?
How do you people function?
Just ask something along the lines of "hey, is work really stressing you out lately? I miss our time together, so can we work around that somehow?" Or just keep getting upset without letting him know and break up when he doesn't use his latent telepathy, your call. I can't say the relationship has good prospects when you see him getting sleep as a negative, though.

Also,
>I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years
>lived together for 3 years
Nice job, thot.

Wish I could ban you from my posts, you absolute shit lord. I moved in right at 18. A lot of people do at that age.
I work. He's going to school, he's close to getting his phd. He does this whether it's his weekend or not, and I'm up late whether it's my weekend or not. And while you like to squeel that I'm a thot, I lost my virginity to him, you virgin.

Also
>getting sleep as a negative
Not at all. I offer for us to go to bed, or encourage him to go lay down, and he doesn't want to do that.

Stop being a self-important whore and cut him some slack you retarded roastie, the world doesn't revolve around your need to constantly have fun. Grow up and quit complaining about being bored

Man how is it ever good advice to reply to anyone in a relationship
>lol you're unhappy about this? Ignore it!!!!

> ban you from my posts
It's called a filter, and it would only shield your innocent eyes from the truth. It wouldn't block me from posting.
>I moved in right at 18. A lot of people do at that age.
Literally where? And the most glaring part isn't even your age at the time, it is that you moved in at what you said is the same time the relationship started.

>I lost my virginity to him
Before marriage and probably very soon after (or before) you moved in. Thus, thot.
Is a prostitute with only one customer not a whore? I'd argue they're a whore even before the first "service", as the intent is enough.
But that's neither here nor there. The way things are looking, with you thinking to break up over a sleep schedule, I'd bet money on you winding up with more than one partner in your life.

Lastly, if he's working on a PhD it's unsurprising he might be burned out at the end of the day.

So? This doesn't make any sense. I don't see how his choice of location to sleep would make it "boring" for you. Are you saying that you wouldn't be bored if he slept in a bed instead of in front of the TV? The bottom line regardless is that you need to talk with him about whatever problems you may have, not give hints and get upset when he doesn't notice them. The other thing to keep in mind is that you'll get the best results when he's fully conscious (many people aren't really themselves in the middle of being woken up), and by phrasing something in hopeful rather than accusatory terms (i.e. "could you do this" instead of "you never do this"), to avoid putting him on the defensive.

Fuck off. Stopped reading when you started autistically ranting about losing virginity before marriage for the 6 millionth time. I don't care you fucking retard.

Enjoy your failing relationship

Nice counting. I hope you do break up with him, because that's probably the best thing that could ever happen for him. Imagine the fucking narcissism of a person to complain about not getting enough fun from their partner because they need sleep while doing their PhD program. Neck yourself, roastie.

And man. If you have had any real life experience youd know that it's annoying as hell to do your thing with your significant other sleeping right beside you. You make the wrong sound doing anything and they wake up, so you're on eggshells before then. Fuck. Off.

It's literally his weekend and he went in to school for about 15 minutes tops to turn in work. Did nothing before and after. Why not go to r9k if you're this fucking misogynistic?

OP my husband of 7 years used to be exactly the same. He was drinking so much all he did was sleep, and his mother fell asleep in front of the TV constantly so he picked it up from her. Shitty people breed shitty people. It'll be better for you to detach and leave. He'll find someone else and neglect her too, don't miss him.

What, are you juggling chainsaws in the living room? If he's that tired, I doubt it would do much, but that's a separate issue entirely. If he has a problem with the noise you make during normal waking hours, then it's on him to voice his concerns.

Of course, all I see is a bunch of speculative behavior without communication--"my bf does something I don't like, should I break up with him?"; "I haven't been told noise bothers him, and I'm sick of watching my noise levels because I don't want to bother him".

If his sleeping seems excessive, even accounting for catching up for what he doesn't get on the weekdays, he might have sleep apnea, considering the snoring (doubly so if the snoring is cadenced/very loud). There are sleep clinics which can test that.

I don't even see it as neglect. Out computers are in the same room as the couch, so my computer doubles as a tv. I just feel like if I break the motion of the tv show and switch the video games or browsing or something, he'll wake up.
I guess it's partially neglect though because I would much rather him be playing some video game on his computer and interacting with me now and then instead of just sleeping.

^
You're seriously thinking about breaking up with this guy because he's tired after working to get his PhD, so that he can better support the both of you? Get a hobby or something.

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you are dating someone who is much further forward in life than you.

it would be more unusual at yours and his age to be in synch than not.

If this is all he will ever do, then you have to fucking have a conversation with him about it. You know how to do that, right?

If this is just his preferred activity level, but he still does stuff you want, then welcome to having a relationship where compromise is the name of the game.

ok so it's a thing that bothers you. what have you done to communicate that to him? why don't you entertain yourself? is he the person responsible for your boredom?

what have you done to bring excitement to the relationship if that's what you're asking for.

Literally Hitler, this is one of the better, non biased replies you've given me in on user in 6 months. He's a heavy sleeper. Should I just man up and dick around loudly on my computer? If he's annoyed just be like "hey man, go to bed. It's fine."
I don't WANT to bring it up because I want him to rest. But I don't know. I sleep a lot in the morning and he gets up an hour before me, then starts snoozing off like 3 or 4 hours before me. He's autistic (which is why, hitler, I've noted that youre autistic, I'm autistic as well and can see it a mile a way), so things like being worried about noise levels seriously add up to my sensory issues. I'm asking you right now to reply with compassion because I don't know what to do in these social dynamics. I say things like "should we break up?" Because from my point of view it's black and white, that I have energy and he does not. It's very confusing for me.

I'll tell you what I tell every autist that comes to us with these problems; stop talking about this issue with a bunch of teenage virgins on a scandinavian hackey sack forum and talk to your boyfriend. If you ask him to be present in an aspect of your relationship and he refuses then fucking break up. Its concerning that you couldn't come to this conclusion on your own.

BUT HE'S SLEEPING AND ID BE A DICK FOR DEMANDING HIM TO BE AWAKE AHDBTKFOFNTN

>He's autistic
>youre autistic,
>I'm autistic as well
Is there anyone here who isn't autistic?

>Should I just man up and dick around loudly on my computer?
If he's particularly sensitive to sound and has spoken to you before about it, that's one thing (and this is why direct communication is so important--he'll be able to tell you what he wants far better than bitter assholes on Jow Forums like me)
But yes. There's no issue with you doing normal activities in the middle of the afternoon. If he does get up, feeling irritated at it, then you can accommodate him at that moment, and then use it as an excuse to talk about his sleeping habits--not just to make it easier for him to sleep, but for you to spend more time together..
Although if you're both *actually* autistic, that would result in a unique dynamic, to say the least.
>I don't know what to do in these social dynamics.
And you think I do?
I'm flattered. I'll defer to other anons on that, all I can say is that communication is lacking, and others have already pointed this out.


Don't think about individual events, think about rates and patterns. You'd be a dick for waking him up once, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to him about managing his sleep schedule so he can spend time with you. Separately, if you have the chance, ask if he feels tired all the time, even just after waking up. That would be a big hint he has sleep apnea.

I would say that he just might be tired.
>Fights with you till 12am
Yeah he's cheating on you.

Would you grow the fuck up? It doesn't matter if he's playing backgammon. The dude is spending the few hours you guys have together excessively sleeping. Stop, pull your head out of your ass for a moment and replace "sleeping" with "going out with his friends" or "playing video games". Its absolutely no different. Having him spend time with you instead of sleeping through the entire day is important to you. If you're in a relationship and someone isn't able to or refuses to give you something that is important to you THEN YOU BREAK UP. It really doesn't have anything to do with whose fault it is or who is being a dick either. NOT WANTING TO SPEND YOUR RELATIONSHIP SITTING IN BED AND FALLING ASLEEP WITH THE TV ON IS NOT AN UNREALISTIC OR UNREASONABLE REQUEST. TALK. TO. HIM. For fuck's sake, OP, get a grip.

Yeah this is just another issue about miscommunication. Just fucking talk about it. Case closed.

Communication is lacking only because he's a lot more lower on the social spectrum, and I only got diagnosed within the last 6 months so I've been learning a lot. He's much more sensitive to noises than me but in a different ways. I get very irritated when I do not have a white noise to cling to. He gets aggravated at white noises but only if he's had especially draining day. He's a very heavy sleeper, so I think I'm just scared of being annoying form before I moved in with him. It's good advice about being accommodating if he's presenting himself as being especially irritated when he wakes up. I can do that.
Part of the problem is that if he goes to official bed before 12 am, he will wake up at 12 am to 3 am and will not be able to go to sleep. So I don't like to pressure him to go to bed, because if he does so too early, he gets awful sleep.
I can talk to him about it. I don't know how he will "stay awake" until his bed time. Im not sure what that answer is.

i didnt even think of the possibility of an apneatic issue.

almost everyone with apnea i know denies falling asleep in the moment as well.

maybe put a tab on that one for later consideration too...

>anons advice is literally COMMUNICATE VAGUELY OR GET A GRIP AND BREAK UP
The You wonder why people are confused.

Yea, the most annoying part is that I have to battle with him for a bit to get him to wake up or move to bed. He just denies being tired while falling right back to sleep.

My advice is for him to break up with you.

Get a fucking hobby. It's not his job to entertain you all day just because you have ADHD.

>almost done with phd
>most stressful time of my life
>just trying to catch up on sleep and spend sometime with this young girl i found at a frat party
>she keeps freaking out that i wont watch her stupid show with her
>wish i was single so that i could study in peace.

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>been with some one for three years
>just met
He's never been a partier even.
Nice b8.

I was going to say something about how unintelligent you appear, but reading that you're autistic very much encapsulates your rationale.

You genuinely seem like a frustrated being from no cause other than your own faulty mind.

I talked to him about it. He says he's going to try to stay awake better, but is going to require some direct cues from me to help him. Thanks everyone.

you're 21, you're in your prime. dont waste time on this old man.

does your life revolve around him or something

Please get him to talk to a professional about sleep apnea.

Please keep him close and communicate.

Please remember to take a breath, and be the best you that you can be, regardless of your situation.

Life is work.

Uh, yea.
I will consider it seriously. My father had sleep apnea so I know what the breathing pattern sounds like. I'll listen. Thank you.

Her life goal is to leach off of a successful, don’t you understand?

She ain’t playin with no broke niggas.