I'm 24M, my friend is 19F. Met at beginning of year, both new cashiers at Walmart. Really good friends. Done her wrong a few times, but ultimately realize that and own up to it. All was well. Then she moved to electronics halfway through the year. Really happy for her, but heartbroken as well. Barely see her anymore. Tried to get closer one day. Went wrong. She was pissed. I felt horrible. Apologized. Told me it's okay. Back to friendly terms. For last three months, she's been stagnant. Doesn't seem to want to talk to me much. But she's super friendly to everyone else. Like how it used to be for us. Worst part? In three months, forced to move away. Won't see her probably for years. She doesn't know. Want to tell her, but hard to get her to understand right now. Not sure if she under stress now, my guess is not. Losing her/being forgotten by her/giving up on her IS NOT AN OPTION. Losing my mind. Want to spend time with her. Love her so much. Wat do, my bros?
Help fix my friendship
Idgaf what is muh not an option. Drop it.
Fix your autism, bro.
There are plenty of other women to drool over.
So, tldr you got friendzoned and you're moving away now.
You'll get over it. Are you an incel?
Try to improve your personality meanwhile ask her out again.
She probably got transferred to electronics by request, to avoid you. She probably doesn't like you and wants you away from her. But until she says that, then just approach not at work and ask her out. Tell her how you feel and that you regret the bad things you did.
Thank you for giving actual advice
>Tried to get closer one day. Went wrong. She was pissed. I felt horrible. Apologized
What did you do, exactly?
My pleasure. Best wishes to you
So I was spending a night throwing freight bc call ins. She saw me trying to open boxes. She lent me her box cutter. Went to return it next day. Tried to open up a bit. Very gently patted her on her arm and told her I'm glad I can count on her. She did not like it. Could not eat or sleep for three days. Also could not find her (she had three days off, did not know until later) Wrote apology note, hid it at work. She found it. Finally on fourth day found her. Came to her and apologized. She saw how fucked up I was. Told me it's okay, that I did nothing wrong, and that she doesn't want me to stress about it. Seemed like she understood.
Sounds like she is very much not into you. I think you should move on.
And...
>Losing her/being forgotten by her/giving up on her IS NOT AN OPTION.
This is not for you to decide. You said yourself that she doesn't want to talk you and is rather distanced, so she has already decided that she doesn't want to be your friend...
Again, accept her choice and move on. I don't think approaching her once again and dumping on her all your feels is a good idea considering that she clearly shows you that she isn't interested in you. Sucks, but this happens more often than not.
I get it. I know that's the most logical thing to do. But I still have to try anyway, because she means so much to me.
>she means to me so much that I have to selfishly bother her, fully knowing that it will creep her out again
Ok.
I get it. I don't wanna creep her out. I've been trying my hardest not to.
But I can admit I have. No denying that.
Unless she's said no, stop; then he's free to do whatever he wants. He will regret missing this chance DEARLY if he doesn't act now. Somehow I really understand OP. Let the man love. If there's a 1% chance she'll love him, OP will take the chance.
OP here.
This reply made me cry. Once again, thank you.
Sorry, but I don't think you're the right person to advise on male-female matters. From what I gather, you literally pummel your girlfriends so... I see why you wouldn't give a flying fuck about that girls's comfort in this situation.
Don't thank him OP, you are getting endorsement from an abuser. Try to think clearly and look at the facts. If you care about her, revisit what you know, realise that she doesn't like you - not even as a friend - and work on moving on.
You guys are rascals
I think you are the real rascal, right now because you give this distressed OP false hope, possibly to paint yourself as 'the good cop', and you completely disregard the fact that the girl in question is uncomfortable with OP's antics. And you are a rascal in general for pummelling women/animals/whatever else and then acting like you're the authority on either.
>OP false hope
Explain. Don't just make accusations. Actually explain yourself and conduct yourself rightly in a discussion.
You're character assassinating me with lies. If you actually read me posts, you'll realise I'm not a bad guy.
...what?
From OP's opening post:
>For last three months, she's been stagnant. Doesn't seem to want to talk to me much. But she's super friendly to everyone else.
Telling OP to go and confess to her is plainly cruel in this case. This girl wants to have nothing to do with him.
>You're character assassinating me with lies. If you actually read me posts, you'll realise I'm not a bad guy.
I'm sorry, but what? You said yourself that you hit your girlfriends, you hit your dog and from skimming the cat thread from yesterday I noticed that you think it is okay to kill a cat for hissing and kill a dog for barking. I think that is enough to label you as a bad guy...
>This girl wants to have nothing to do with him.
Girls must be woo'd and won. OP made a mistake and I know a thing or two about mistakes.
If you were right (and you're not) then she'd tell OP "no, stop". But she hasn't. Which mean's there's still a chance and that's all OP needs.
>label you as a bad guy
If that's all you took from my posts, then I can't help you. It's overwhelmingly obvious I don't condone violence in any way, but no matter what I say, guy like you don't listen. My mistakes are so far in the past now, so well done and healed, and I've learned from them. Since I suffered and prevailed, I can now help others in the same problem. But you are honestly interested in impairing me, when I do nothing but good.
>Girls must be woo'd and won. OP made a mistake and I know a thing or two about mistakes.
If you were right (and you're not) then she'd tell OP "no, stop". But she hasn't. Which mean's there's still a chance and that's all OP needs.
You are deluded.
Again with this? If you want to have a discussion, then do it properly. Refute me and explain why I'm wrong.
I love a good discussion. I cherish the moments I'm wrong because it meant I learned something.
But if you're just name-calling and character assassinating, then you don't have any ground to stand on, sorry. My advice prevails, your advice embodies cowardice, despair, and a LIFETIME of regret wondering what could've been.
It's almost like you've never been in love.
If a girl reacts negatively to your touch she will never, ever want you.
The scenarios where a girl isn't interested but eventually warms to a guy, mostly he lacks certain qualities or the girl is on a different track. I've had lots of girls not interested in me, but not once have I ever been treated like this for a casual touch. Granted you probably did it very nervously and then acted weird as hell, and that's the sort of thing that scares girls away.
Only if you are really fat and gross or have terrible hygiene do you have any chance with this girl ever, because physical revulsion for a really good reason is something you can fix. Anything else, nope. Get out more, meet lots of people, forget this bitch. She sounds awful.
Your advice doesn't prevail, even though OP will probably follow it regardless because he came on Jow Forums to get affirmation from the likes of you. It's not like he has never pulled a move. He tried and got rejected.
She literally reprimanded him for touching her in the least intimate way possible, and then requested a position change that would put an eighth of a mile between them. Come on.
She means so much to you because you are isolated and needy and weak. You need exposure to more women. You need good male friends. If it were true that this girl was special, you would be telling us about other girls too. You would be telling us what you've been doing with your friends to take the edge off. You need to do something about your isolation above all else, because it's making you clingy and weird, and when the next girl comes along you're going to think to yourself, "Oh fuck, that last girl was a rehearsal for this one and I squandered my chance to learn a lesson and change myself." Put this nitwit out of your mind, call an old friend, go to a bar, and talk to everyone there.
>from the likes of you
If you knew how successful I am your jaw would drop.
Really, you would never believe a guy like me could be.
>He tried and got rejected.
No he didn't. At least not yet. He got steam in his face but not rejection.
>Come on.
Until she says the words "no, stop" it's absolutely fair game. Right now she's giving ambiguity and you are *assuming* the worse, you're assuming what she feels/meant, no. No it doesn't work like that. You're spreading despair for no reason and you guys are complaining that I'm spreading hope for no reason? Come on.
>She means so much to you because you are isolated and needy and weak.
And now you're insulting OP? Come on.
She means so much to him because he's in love with her. If you ever fall in love one day, you'll understand.
>go to a bar, and talk to everyone there.
Then you tell him to spread degeneracy.
Really your advice is so awful. You tell him to assume the worst, feel despair, call him names, then tell him to throw his heart around like a loser. I can only imagine what your life looks like, if this is the sort of advice you give others.
>Until she says the words "no, stop" it's absolutely fair game
That's a rapist's approach
Well considering his stance on hitting women...
Actually that's literally the opposite of rape.
Why do I even talk to you, when you contribute nothing to the discussion?
Probably none of his exes said ''no, stop'', so it was fair game
Obviously.
The dog didn't either.
It isn't. There are things called non-verbal clues, usually conveyed via body language and micro expressions. Not every woman will be straightforward enough to say your bullshit little phrase. A girl may be too scared or too non-confrontational. Which is why it is vital to be able to interpret other clues. If a girl recoils at your touch with a grimace on her face she does not want to be chased and wooed. She wants you to fuck off.
Lack of protest is not consent you mongoloid.
We're not talking about sleeping with her, we're talking about asking forgiveness and a second chance to be friends. You're pulling out the rape card on something that isn't rape.
If you were correct, every member of paparazzi would be arrested overnight.
She doesn't want to be his friend though, and she expressed that via her non-verbal behaviour.
Perfectly fine, and perhaps you're right. But if there's even a chance of it happening, then OP has full right to do what he wants. It's a free country.
He has the right, but the question is whether it's a good idea, and it's not. Unless OP wants his crush to remember him as a bothersome creeper who could not interpret her blatant lack of interest.
>question is whether it's a good idea,
Actually, no, it very clearly wasn't. You haven't even read OP's words, and yet you shame him, spread despair, namecall, and insist that he give up on his dreams? THAT's your idea of good advice?
And all you have against me is lazy (lies) character assassination?
He has made it very clear that she did tell him to stop. She fucking rebuffed him for touching her. What part of this says ambiguity to you?
>muh degeneracy
Jow Forums is leaking again. I didn't even tell him to drink. I told him to socialize. Do you not know anyone who goes to bars and orders seltzer? I knew a guy who couldn't do this, had to stay out of bars. I've known lots of people who hang out at bars or even work at them but don't drink. I can't remember the last time I went to a bar and got drunk. It was years ago.
And what's your alternative? Is he to turn up at a church pancake breakfast and start talking to women? Or are you one of the folks who suggests introducing yourself to women at the library? Bars are the only social space adults have where we are free to approach anyone we like and talk to them without fear of their reaction, because the assumption if you are at a bar is that you want to meet people and talk to whoever is around. This is why I told him to talk to everyone, not to meet girls.
Meanwhile let him decide for himself whether or not I insulted him. I drew a conclusion based on what he has written in the thread. If I'm wrong he won't give a shit. If his feelings are hurt, I pinched a nerve and he needs to face facts. When you get confirmation that I hit the nail right on the head, that's your cue to bow out because your intuition sucks.
ITT a bunch of people responding to a tripfag who has probably unknowingly been annoying and harassing girls for years because he can't read social cues.
Also OP, she's clearly not into you. Take a hint and learn to move on with your life when things don't go your way.
Oh, and get your shit together.