Caught girlfriend using tinder

low bait

>dumped her

Yeah and keep her dumped, block her ass, zero contact.

It's total BS.

You should have waited until you had a chance to snatch the phone out of her hand. Instead you gave her the chance to delete her matches and conversations.

If she wants you to take her back, you need to see a lot of flirty conversations that suggest she was playing games with people or getting off online but with no motion toward meeting in person. If she cops to this and can prove it, I might consider taking her back, but only if you live together and can constantly verify that she isn't cheating. The thing to do is meet with her in person and tell her, "We might be able to get back together but I need to see your Tinder account as it is right now, without you doing anything to it first."

When she refuses and says a bunch of shit about trust and privacy, that's when you thank her for her time and wish her a nice life. There's no need to be ugly and block her as you don't seem too attached, and spite today is a vector for drama tomorrow.

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She likely would have deleted them all before she came anyway. I don't want her back, this is just too much to ever get over and completely obliterates all trust

non argument

Okay, but if she didn't actually fuck anybody, what exactly are you getting out of this? A woman you can trust? Why would you want to think you have one of those? Better the devil you know.

Because I've had one of those before and they exist. Not going on tinder in a relationship is a pretty standard thing

Even lower bait. Failed 2/3 last bait chance buddy. Give it your all. We are waiting.

You seem to know the answer. I know how you’re feeling, there’s something in you that wants it to not be true. But it is. And it sucks, don’t get me wrong, but you do seem to know what to do. Fire pussy does this to us. I’m just gonna hit a few major flags/points I see here
>she pays for it
Ime girls who pay for the app are using it, a lot
>she said it wa shuts for fun
Again, this is my experience and the experiences of some friends. Women say this, often in their bios, as a lie. We think they say it to not look like they’re the type to just hookup easily (a thot). In your case she’s saying that because she 1.) disrespects you, and 2.) takes you for an idiot.
>you already know she’s lied about shit in the past
>new pictures
She’s active on the app enough to pay for it and to be constantly updating her profile.

If you don’t mind me asking, why is the major city nearby you?

I'm sorry m8 but she's obviously completely full of shit. The "just doing it for a laugh" defense is nothing, she is on Tinder for the same reason as everyone else. Especially if she has a past of lying and cheating, this should really be the final straw and you should break up with her. You can't just let someone lie straight to your face and carry on like everything is fine, it'll just get worse and worse.

You cannot and should not trust this girl, there is no serious long-term potential here. Cut your losses, learn your lesson, and move on with your life

>anything i dont like is bait
lol try harder

It sucks big time, to be told everyday how much you are loved and all that only for this to happen. Thanks for confirming what I thought, its all BS especially with things like paying for the app and new photos. Also angry she takes me for an idiot

The first thing I did was break up with her, no way would I stay with someone who's done this. Fuck that. If she hasn't cheated already no doubt she would eventually. No trust at all

You may someday have a woman who deserves your trust. I hope you do. But whether or not she deserves your trust is never, ever going to be information you possess. Whether you do trust her and whether you should trust her are two different things you can only connect by crawling inside her her and swimming around in all that spaghetti.

But I'm throwing in with the others here. If she wanted to be on Tinder for fun, it's a simple matter of telling you what she was doing right away and permanently sharing her GPS with you so you know she's not sleeping around.

Have a buddy who did Tinder for fun and one of the first people to know was his girlfriend.

Dunno why it'd be different for anyone ever. Only reason to hide it is cuz you know why you're using it and why your partner disapproves.

I genuinely feel like sick in my stomach, is that normal with this?

I guess you can never know other than a gut feeling. Which I never had a good trust gut feeling with this girl in all honesty. No mention of it at all is sus af

I'd never be okay with it but no idea why she didn't mention it first off

how many guys has she fucked, OP?

>Her ex accused her of cheating all the time and I know she's lied to me/had inconsistent stories
Sorry, move on

>Paid for tinder
>Kept it a secret
>Kept anything secret
>Past history of cheating
>Inconsistent with truths

I think you know how you feel by the way you've written these things. I believe you did well, OP. Just hold tight. People sometimes turn around after a hard kick in the heart but it takes more than regret to make change. You guys are probably quite young. If so, don't expect great relationships founded on good values that are conducive to marriage..

No idea I haven't asked I've always been scared to, usually high number count I avoid but from what she's told me I'd be willing to bet its quite a few. She did tell me she was sleeping with 30 year olds when she was 15

>past history of cheating
Her ex was a controlling drug addict so who knows how much truth there is from his claims but I've always kept it in the back of my mind.

Thank you, I think I did handle it the right way. 23 so I guess relatively young

>You should have waited until you had a chance to snatch the phone out of her hand.
Why would you take such a high-tension obsessive mood like this...
>only if you live together and can constantly verify that she isn't cheating
Worrying yourself to a heart attack doing no one favors...
>but I need to see your Tinder account as it is right now, without you doing anything to it first."
Absolute paranoid mess...
>When she refuses and says a bunch of shit about trust and privacy, that's when you thank her for her time and wish her a nice life.
When you had the relaxed calm mood we should all learn from. Just "show me some shit that makes you look believable or I'm out, because it should be real easy to convince me if you're telling the truth, you'd have nothing to hide". Or, if you are so afraid of being convinced by lies, leave. Simple shit.
Y'all need to love yourselves enough to be more zen.

>She's trying to spin it now saying I was on tinder to see her
That's how you know for sure she is full of shit. Why change the argument if she did it just for laugh? Fuck that bitch

Update:

I brought up some of the inconsistencies which turn into more shit that doesn't add up. So she's obviously lied about stuff before. She's literally begging and pleading for me to reconsider

Time to stop talking, there's no value in either of you saying more. Cleanest break you can make sounds best for both of you.

Does this girls name start with a K?

Women don't only go on tinder to hook up, they also use it for validation and ego boosts. If you made a tinder and had hundreds of girls trying to fuck you you would probably feel pretty good about yourself too. However, it's still a breach of contract imo and you should dump her for going behind your back.

Its hard to stop, I'm not sure why even though I realize I need to just block her

It does not

Even if she was telling the truth, however I don't believe it, its dodgy and like a breach of contract as you say so it doesn't change my decision to break up with her.

Alright thank you for clarifying that for me. I’m still struggling with what you’re feeling in how it’s hard to stop after 2 fucking years. You’re attached man. It’s like coffee or cigarettes, you’re brains built up a chemical connection and you’re attempting to cold turkey quit. It’s normal for it to feel hard everyone goes through it, but the sooner you block her cease all contact the better, for you. You should take her off any social media as well. These next few months are to be 100% focuses and scores to yourself doing whatever you want to/always have wanted to do(within reason). After that even if you’re not over her yet (you probably won’t be) you should attempt to start dating, nothing serious or committed by any means though.

Focused and devoted**

I got out of another relationship at the beginning of the year and that was easy, by the second day I felt nothing in terms of upset. This on the other hand fucking sucks, I haven't eaten all day I feel like shit. Cheers for the advice, I gotta keep myself distracted

The zen thing to do is walk away. If OP wanted to do this he wouldn't be back here asking us whether he made the right choice.

Whatever you may think of my mindset, it stands that the only way he can ever know she wasn't fucking other men constantly while dating him is to see Tinder exchanges that happened before she was discovered.

She's lying you made the right decision.

I would have dumped her, too.

It's possible she's cheating. Also possible she's doing it for laughs or for attention. Lots of girls, even single girls, use Tinder without ever planning on meeting guys
I can't tell you which it is. But her paying for it to change the distance if anything makes her story more believable. Tinder is so easy for girls that they don't need to get the upgrade for likes, but being able to change location would let her mess around more
Idk, depends on how much you trust her

She absolutely, 100% lying, but I think you already know that in your heart.

lmao shut the fuck up

Or she's changing her location to minimize her chance of somebody she knows finding her, which is likely. Who pays to use an app "for laughs," anyway?

>t. woman that uses Tinder

Let me clarify, she lives in a small rural town and paid to put the location in the major city (where I live) which is closeish to her. She didn't pay to put it in another city

She didn't pay to put it in another city where she wont be recognized*

Update:

I've ignored her but haven't blocked yet. She's telling me she will kill someone for me to get a second chance followed by 'you will regret this user I promise'. Wtf?

even if shes telling the truth,drop the attetion whore.

Even if she wasn't trying to get fucked on the app it is still not okay. Dump her ass.

Slut, plain and simple.

Cut your losses and move on. This cunt will be fucking someone else already.

shes a psycho, not surprising given she was fucking 30 year olds at 15 and probably has a triple digit number. kinda rooting for her to ruin your life, just so you learn from dating a fucking whore with this many red flags.

> She's with you for a reason, if she wanted to be with someone else she would have dumped you
What if she wants both?

>she was sleeping with 30 year olds when she was 15
>Her ex was a controlling drug addict

Why were you dating someone with that past? It's an honest question.

She's using her last cards, laugh at the fact that she's stooping this low to cover up lies, it only proves how fucking retarded she is. Move on and be happy, send her one last message then block her. That's what I did with my gf who got drunk and cheated on me, she plead and begged for a couple of hours then I sent her one last message and blocked her everywhere, she added me on an alt account a day later and begged for a couple hours again, I talked to her for a couple hours explaining that it's over and letting her apologize over and over, and then I said I don't forgive you and don't talk to me ever again, thanks for the good times and bye. I have contacted her or looked at anything related to her since, it's been 3 weeks now and I'm definitely not looking back. Fuck liars and cheaters

Just block her OP, she is not worth your time.

ouch, I hope not

It started off with casual sex but we clicked and got along really well. I'd seen a heap of girls before her this year but she was the one who stood out from them. Her past was slowly revealed the more I saw her so it became easier to overlook it and think 'she's changed'

Everyone I've spoken to IRL about this also say its bs. I hope you're doing okay after what you went through, how long did it take you for the pain to subside? My brain is like trying to self sabotage thinking about all the nice things about her, really annoying

>20330243 (You) #
Everyone I've spoken to IRL about this also say its bs. I hope you're doing okay after what you went through, how long did it take you for the pain to subside? My brain is like trying to self sabotage thinking about all the nice things about her, really annoying

I don't know really man, I felt pain the night she was at that student meeting in University because she sent me a text saying "I didn't know all linguists are gay" which got me worried thinking she's speaking with young students, she wouldn't text me right she couldn't even type, the day after I was anxious the whole day, I already expected the worst though, and the worst did happen, she got dicked down and stayed at the guy's house until the next day at noon and even exchanged numbers with him and gave him a peck on the lips in the morning when they were sober. The bitch said he was pushing her into all this and even had the courage to ask me for a second chance saying it's the alcohol or not her. She was a wonderful person dude, but she was weak and thinks with her pussy.
So I felt pain that night I felt something happening, then the day after when i found out and broke up with her, and then the day after that when she stalked me and came back and I let her go. And from there I don't know, I had moments for the next few days, it subsided, now it still pops up once in a while, I'm being strong and not allowing me to wallow in it for too long, this is a very busy time in my life she cheated on me the day before a job interview, I broke up with her and went the next morning and got the job, after that she called me again and I broke up with her, and I did go and work and I continued with my life and I'm keeping my head up high because she cheated on me,I loved her so much and in my mind, who she was - was an AMAZING person, but she died. Got murdered, and whoever is there now isn't her she's trash she's a whore and I don't cry or feel pain for a whore,

>(Cont. >>)

>(Cont. >>)
Only for the good girl that was, so I literally mourn, I mourned in front of her and dehumanized her because she's no longer the same person, I can't accept that SHE did this, it's not her, it's a different person.

That being said I also follow one sentence - there's two ways life goes, up - or down. And it's not going down.

There's no middle path if it's not going up it's going down you can't stand still, this sentence combined with the fact that I don't cry for a whore helped me move forward much quicker, I now work 8AM to 8PM in a different city 5 days a week, barely see home, I do get horny looking at other women and I want a hug and love but I tell myself that I want my next gf to be someone who wants me, I'm not gonna work for anybody. Even if it takes longer to get a girl because I can't have my heart fucked around like that and put it in the hands of an unreliable person.

>My brain is like trying to self sabotage thinking about all the nice things about her, really annoying

I know this, it's just your emotional side speaking - do not listen to it, yes there was good, if there wasn't good you wouldn't think about her, but just because there were good emotions it doesn't mean that factually and rationally your relationship was right, so be a man and remind yourself what she is, a cheating slag, be glad in the fact that her life revolves around what goes in and out of her pussy, she's a leech, her existence is mainly for self pleasing, she took the comforts of life and she revels in them, she had truly become the beast, at this point nothing separates her from it, because beasts only look at themselves and their own desire in the moment - they have no regard for higher values like empathy, caring for others, seeing consequences to their actions, no. I'm hungry? - I eat that, I'm horny? - I fuck that. Move on from that beast and find a more civilized human. Good luck bro sorry for the rant but hopefully it helped to hear

On the one hand your gf was using Tinder behind your back.

On the other it was probably a ten second decision on her part, she probably thought nothing would come of it.
Maybe she was just checking other men still though she was hot - women are like that.

I wouldn't believe her, but how seriously you take it is up to you

Its funny how we have gut feelings about things. Did she show signs before this happened? She knew what she was doing I'm glad you didn't give into her excuses. Furthermore, exchanging numbers and kissing the dude sober completely debunks her 'it was the alcohol and not me bs'. Its crazy how she stalked you despite her being the one who fucked things up for you guys. That's awesome you got the job to help your life progress. You definitely sound like you are on the upside of it all. Whenever I think about the good things I remind myself of why we are in the position we are in, which helps hugely. She is the one causing this hurt for the both of us - not my fault. I find it funny she is strongly saying she never 'went on dating sites or any form of cheating on her ex' when I quizzed her about her abusive ex's accusations, yet I treat her right and she does this to me? she can go fuck herself

Thanks for your story, it definitely helps in shitty times like this. Best of luck to you too

The new selfie she took would have been taken in the morning, she likely made the tinder account when she returned home (where her sister is) in the evening. I don't think it was a 10 second decision desu

just embrace being a cuck. i wish my gf had tinder

>I dumped her
Good you made the right choice

You aren't baiting anyone, if you have a point to make than make it if not just shut up please.

>She did tell me she was sleeping with 30 year olds when she was 15
Dump that whore

>they also use it for validation and ego boosts.
Good enough reason to break it off, idiot.

Don't say anything. But if you must reply tell her you are calling the cops cause that sounds like some crazy bitch syndrome right there.
And everyone knows that crazy bitches will go to any length to get back at people.

>It started off with casual sex
This always seems to be the case for the worst stories.
Maybe my priest was right.

Take a screenshot of that and block her

I'm confident I made the right decision

It wouldn't surprise me if she started stalking me. Cops probably wouldn't care at this point

Lesson learnt from this, life experience I chalk it down to. I'm an emphatic person, I fall for someone too easily and try to find the positives. Gift and a curse I suppose

yeah fuck that shit she is going to cheat on you with the Turbo Chads you find on Tinder.

>30 year olds when she was 15

you dodge a bullet she is a whore with daddy issues.

You need to send that friend a thank you card and you should be pissed your ex thinks you are stupid enough to believe that bullshit. Thankfully you don't

>Thanks for your story, it definitely helps in shitty times like this. Best of luck to you too
Thanks man I appreciate the kind words a lot, we're all gonna make it, just wanted to reply right before I go to bed I don't have much time but yeah

>Did she show signs
No real signs before that day, just a little bit of passive aggressiveness that day and that's it, and you're right - she knew fully well what she was doing, she can deny it for as much as she wants, but that night she was on the prowl for a guy to fuck and she got it, I gave her confidence and she used it to jump ladder into something she thinks is better, I used the confidence she gave me to get a job finally and move away from my neet life at home, but at that point when she cheated, I knew that giving in to pain will only mean running everything I've done down to the ground, so I kept going up, and I'm still going up, and I bet she's still drinking and fucking that guy because she was absolutely devastated and have no real supportive friends so she went to him, funnily enough he cheated on his own gf with her too, with "my ex", disgusting isn't it, what can I say.. I'm gonna make it into bigger and better things and so will you, keep playing it like everything's fine with you and prioritize what's important in life, your health, your family, and your progression. Good luck once again man and good night

When she first told me that I thought to myself 'well she'll never be my gf', why didn't I listen to my early self

I will definitely be buying that friend drinks next time we go out. I'm leaning towards it being a lie but even if it isn't, who goes on tinder even for a laugh while in a relationship..

I think that's one of the important things in life is to not let negative experiences like this cut you down, rather use them to empower yourself to push to do something better. If she's still fucking that guy and he's a cheater also - they deserve each other tbqh. Sooner or later one of them will cheat again. You have a good outlook on things I'm sure you will keep finding success. I really appreciate the words, it helps hugely :) sleep well!

if she made it for a laugh she wouldn't have hidden it from you.

couldn't she have done it for a laugh and not thought to mention it because it was a passing thought?

Update: She started spamming me on snapchat, she's gone from begging to insulting me telling me I'm a child and having too much pride and ego or something

>having too much pride and ego or something
She's the one who made a Tinder to see how many matches she would get.

She's bad news. Steer clear.

Exactly, it was her decision to do this not mine. I think its funny she calls me a child yet she's the one who has been spamming me and flipping out

Kek. That escalated quickly

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She keeps finding ways to get in contact with me lol. She's now saying I broke her heart and she is now over me and that I'm a cunt for dropping her so quickly. Does she not realize she's the one who fucked up by going on tinder? lmao

Ignore and move on

This is truth. Don't know why it didn't get dubbs

She's lying dude. If it was just for laughs she wouldn't be on there using her actual picture. No use keeping her around.

>should I believe her
This is not a question of should or shouldn't. You believe what you believe. Do you believe her?
If not, don't overthink it, and don't let her mess with your head. If yes, then that's very nice then.

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I agree, let alone take a photo in the morning and then randomly jump on tinder that evening with a coincidentally taken new photo

>you will regret this user I promise
someone post the "eat pizza and touch my ass" picture. I don't have it.

G..good riddance OP, you dodged this one

She’s almost definitely cheating or shopping around for a new guy. You could test her by asking to see her tinder though. If she is telling the truth then you’ll be able to look through her messages and she won’t be flirting with any guys. She most certainly shouldn’t have agreed to meet with anybody before. If she has, then you know she’s a lying, cheating hoe.

People’s trur colours show during a breakup. She has been revealed to be full on crazy. Be glad you dodged a bullet.

>You have a good outlook on things I'm sure you will keep finding success. I really appreciate the words, it helps hugely :) sleep well!
Thanks man :) and it seems like you have a great Outlook on things too, which is rare but not unseen on Jow Forums threads, sometimes we all make mistakes and it's good that now you got to learn from this one, so that next time you can let go based on red flags earlier, it's hard to pass on opportunities, trust me I know and I know that you know it too haha, but unless you go into it expecting nothing more than to fuck, you have to pass on these gals to avoid heartbreak. Anyway I'm glad I could help and you did too, it's always good to hear from you brothers that are still out there living day to day getting better every single moment.. bless you all :)

I am very glad, I'm kinda annoyed at myself that I ignored all her insulting messages today when I could have easily put her in her place. Should I message her now calling her out for it? I think mature thing is not to but I all of a sudden feel really angry at her like how dare she start saying 'fuck you' and stuff to me like I'm the bad guy..

As much as it sucks I'll be a better person for going through all this in terms of learned life experience. I do need to figure out how to emotionally disconnect when I'm just trying to get laid but its easier said than done of course. It is nice to hear from others trying to move forward!

>As much as it sucks I'll be a better person for going through all this in terms of learned life experience.
That's exactly what I always say, so great mindset!!

>I do need to figure out how to emotionally disconnect when I'm just trying to get laid but its easier said than done of course.
I'll be honest I don't believe in that at all, feelings are inherently connected to sex, as you said you need to actively work to separate them, but why would you? For bodily pleasures? I personally wouldn't want to fuck someone just to find out they leave the next morning, or even worse, they stay and keeping fucking but don't want anything more, screw that that's some degenerate stuff. I can hold myself until the moment comes and I find a good person who wants to stay, but that's just my take on that, thought I'd clarify, I know many people will disagree with me but that's how I keep my heart in a good place.

>It is nice to hear from others trying to move forward!
Thanks again dude, it IS really nice :D hello from work !! C:

>I'll be honest I don't believe in that at all, feelings are inherently connected to sex
They are for me also, I know some people who seem to be able to separate them well, no idea how they do it. I've done the one night stand type stuff but if I keep seeing them I could never do the purely nsa sex situation. I'm only young so I'm still figuring this out but I think I'm more the relationship type of guy

>hello from work !! C:
Hope your work day is going well!