What can I do to get rid of saviour complex? I have this weird thing for broken guys...

Stop talking about virtue because to me you have none, and gtfo from my thread

>because to me you have none
>to me
It doesn't work like that.

Also why do you not like me? Tell me honestly no filter

nobody likes you here

On the positive side, I think it signals that you're just a caring person, you like the feeling of providing love & support, will probably make a good parent someday. But as you've discovered, taking this "type" to an extreme makes it tough for you to find a functional relationship.

Have you considered it might be stemming, on some level, from low self-esteem on your own part? Maybe this is a way for you to enter relationships where you have the "upper hand" as the more stable and functional partner. Maybe you feel that you wouldn't have enough to offer to a guy who doesn't need to be "fixed," that if he's doing just fine on his own, he won't need you?

It's good for people in a relationship to take care of each other, but you shouldn't be out there looking for a wounded bird to nurse back to health, you should be looking for something more like an equal partner. Maybe there's some work you need to do on your own life to feel like you're "ready" to be with that kind of man. Or maybe I'm wrong, I don't know you enough to say, I'm just kinda speaking from my own experiences here

my self-esteem isn't that great, but I'm working on it, it's not really that I'm seeking wounded birds but I'm subconsciously find these guys more interesting and attractive

>What do I know?
How to hit people weaker than you?

I have some advice for you rascal: contribute something. Make this website better and help others and stop judging people who are good.

>stop judging people who are good
that is not what he is doing since he is judging you :D

>What can I do to get rid of saviour complex? I have this weird thing for broken guys.

For a long time I had similar issues with attempting to "save" and "fix" broken women. They ranged from depressed to BPD, and for me it was a mix of actual caring, along with a sort of fascination with trying to understand just why they were so fucked in the head, and seeing if I could actually mend the crazy.

First and foremost, you want to understand your own rationales and reasons for trying to fix those who are hopeless. It will end up being more than just to help them, but you are the only one who can decide what precisely it is about them that flips your switch.

How long have you sought out men like this? Has this been since childhood or developed over time? How long do these interactions tend to last, and what is the quality of them like? Do they even reciprocate your interest in them? You are a woman, correct? How do you feel about yourself, and what words would you use to describe yourself?

So is your big appeal to me is to "fit in"? I'm not interested in fitting in, I'm interested in telling the truth.

If you had to choose between an asshole telling you the truth, or a nice guy telling you a lie, what would you choose?

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>Make this website better and help others
The fuck you think I'm doing?

Ok I actually laughed. But you're still a rascal.

Polite sage for offtopic

>I have this weird thing for broken guys.

you mean you have a fetish for psychopaths? because we both know you're not trying to fix the depressed loner.

Whichever one doesn't abuse his girlfriend.

>If you had to choose between an asshole telling you the truth, or a nice guy telling you a lie, what would you choose?
I would choose an asshole who doesn't beat up women and animals, and doesnt assault anons with his idiocy

be honest here OP

Realize that terrible broken people become terrible fixed people. They weren't in need of saving because they were really victims, they are in need of saving from themselves which is something you will never be able to provide. As they say, don't try to polish a turd.

I’m broken and could use help fixing me...

I despise women like you. Why don't you ever save the lonely normal guy who's a hard working, decent human being? Women like you are the reason that 26 year unemployed old high school drop out who smokes meth and has three baby mama's will always have some girl throwing themselves at them. Meanwhile much better men lay awake at night, stare at the ceiling and long for someone they could just come home to after a 12 hour shift who would give them a hug and a smile to make them feel relevant again.

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Better according to who? Who are you to say that the high school dropout is not better? It seems women think he IS better. The idea that men should get pussy in order of who is 'better' according to the standards of some incel is dumb. Let women fuck whoever they want.

Considering that evolutionary and biological fitness is based on reproduction, the guy with three kids is more fit. Any virgin can console themselves with whatever achievements they feel they have, but after 10,000 generations they will be an evolutionary dead end.

>Meanwhile much better men lay awake at night, stare at the ceiling and long for someone they could just come home to after a 12 hour shift who would give them a hug and a smile to make them feel relevant again.

god thats fucking grim man

>im a slave to the matrix because im a monkeyman without a mind

>Let women fuck whoever they want.
No

>im a slave to the matrix because im a monkeyman without a mind

Very witty. However, it is simply talk. Claiming moral superiority and apex personal philosophies is going to be just about as effective as me claiming that I'll keep you in my "thoughts and prayers" for you to get laid. The dead ends will still get culled and rejected.

>The dead ends will still get culled and rejected.

here, you say a statement about the universe, operant on the previous darwininian paradigm that is oh so boring and continues to plague the world with misery. enjoy your steak, i guess

>If you had to choose between an asshole telling you the truth, or a nice guy telling you a lie, what would you choose?
Someone who doesn't you a fucking trip. Go make a /tumblr/ and blogshit there I'm sure you'll sucker in some poor bastard that'll give in to your life story and "self-help" advice.

>operant on the previous darwininian paradigm that is oh so boring and continues to plague the world with misery. enjoy your steak, i guess

Well, this statement definitely elucidates the issues getting laid. You are your own worst enemy. Smug and self-righteous, yet reality and the universe give zero fucks about your own subjective justifications for anything at all. Until you decide to actually interact with the world, people, and women outside of wry abstractions and based on their perceptions about the world, you are a lost cause.

There are plenty of real philosophers, Ph.Ds, M.D.s, and graduates who have been able to rear families while achieving scholastic success, while also not being jackasses and dudebros. This thread would be more amusing if it wasn't so sad.

This. OP you need to redirect who you want to save - there are actually good men who suffer in solitude that yearn to be saved and are battling their internalize demons alone. They don't nor never will publicize it because they don't want to burden others. You never know this because you don't strike up a conversation to understand them deeply, you often pass them by like nothing, air, a speckle of dust blown in the breeze. Hell, they may not want an intimate relationship but a reciprocal gesture of friendship would make them happy. Some of y'all girls always try to fix the undamageable ones who suffer from a greater addiction, involve in criminality, or just psychopathic and neurotic to the bone. These guys don't care about you, not that you're saving them, not that you are giving them your love, not that you exist in their shitty lives. None of that. They see you as a quick meal ticket, a bank machine to support their own wretchedness. Stop this.

Is it possible you may subconsciously feel like you don't "deserve" to date a normal guy because you have your own issues? And justify it with "fixing" another guy, since if you fix them, it means you can fix yourself? Or do you just want the satisfaction of fixing them? Used to be like this so just curious. Eventually I realized I had to focus my energy on myself, since trying to save others who didn't want it was a Sisyphean exercise. Wasted my early twenties with a manchild. Pushed back school, and getting a car. Helping those degenerates was like trying to water the ocean. Get you a plant to water instead.

I have the same fucking problem. I think I can fix them and they deserve to be loved too. Yet some how my heart is the one that winds up broken

you're the one using the abstract, not me. you keep talking about success, again, contingent on your own perspective.

OP here
>How long have you sought out men like this?
I don't seek out guys like this, my first crush was a guy who turned out to have depression, anxiety and narcissism but he was good at hiding it and only later opened up to me that he has these issue and I noticed them on my own anyway, then all my following crushes turned out to suffer from depression, anxiety or were on the spectrum even though from the outside they acted like regular guys

>How long do these interactions tend to last, and what is the quality of them like?
depends but from 2 to even 4 years because even tho relationships never happen or never last longer than a few months we stay friends, the quality is really weird, sometimes great and sometimes horrible, I think it depends on their mental ups and downs

>Do they even reciprocate your interest in them?
most often they do but they don't want to build a relationship because they think they are too fucked up or they show some signs of interest but stifle the if it makes sense and push me away when I try to initiate

>How do you feel about yourself, and what words would you use to describe yourself?
yea, I'm a woman, I would say that I'm quiet and introverted, into art and literature, caring and emotional, I like helping people and nature and fixing things

no, the only guy close to a psychopath was my first crush ever who turned out to have narcissism among other issues, four other curshes were just depressed, had shitty parents and childhood or were on the spectrum

Sorry you have no one to love you but maybe stop projecting because I never fall for meth smoking school drop outs, all my crushes are good people who rarely drink, don't do drugs or causal sex and don't play with people's hearts, regular guys who work and study too despite their issues and try to deal with their lives the best they can, you are not better than them just because you are 'normal'

You can make a list of sane reasons to pick a guy. This way, you can make sure you actually fall for guys you want to fall for.
Treat others like they already have a gf.

This way, you make sure to only fall for people who actually is worth getting into a relationship with.
Everyone is broken in some way, so I am sure you find something to give them support about.
But this way, you can "limit" how broken people you end up with are.

Saviour complex, people pleaser, low self worth, low self esteem, finding purpose through others, validating through others, usually clingy, usually toxic af and annoying. 8-18 months later "I gave you everything, you threw it back, you don't know what you've lost, I'd have died for you, I am different, I am not like other people, you could have had it all", building an emotional shit pile to stand upon by putting down and enfeebling others, assuming other people are worse than you because that is the only way you ever feel on top on them.

How high can you get? Can you bring people with you? Can you raise them up as well? Can you acknowledge the positive attributes of yourself and others? Broken guys? Who the fuck are you calling broken? They push me away. Oh yeah don't reject my claws, let them sink in deep. I don't need love from anybody who gives it for horrible reasons. You should be grateful for my attention because I decided you were a broken piece of shit okay?

people like that willingly describe themselves as broken

I'm sitting on top of a broken apartment building and I'm out of Cigarettes, want my number?

Buy seriously people often help others because they don't have the courage to do things for themselves.
It's not necessarily bad, but stopping hopeless guys pushing you away can be tricky

I see both of you on every thread. Give some context for this and stop spamming you fags.

>all my following crushes turned out to suffer from depression, anxiety or were on the spectrum even though from the outside they acted like regular guys
...
Have you considered the possibility that depression, anxiety and limited social abilities are, in fact, "regular" ?

Every other normie has depression, true, but autism is less regular

>my first crush was a guy who turned out to have depression, anxiety and narcissism but he was good at hiding it

Many people, especially those early in relationships tend to wear masks to hide their own personal issues and insecurities. From your response it sounds like you naturally perceive them for who they are, but also are naturally attracted to personalities like this.

>we stay friends, the quality is really weird, sometimes great and sometimes horrible

Let's go further here. What is the nature of your friendships? Are they simply platonic and friendly, or do you find yourself intent on helping them through their issues? Do you want to be "there" for them at all times?

>most often they do but they don't want to build a relationship because they think they are too fucked up or they show some signs of interest but stifle the if it makes sense and push me away when I try to initiate

A lot of people who have checkered pasts are hesitant to start relationships because they are chained to previous failures. If you are as giving and nurturing as you claim, then that would only intensify such a reaction. Those with clinical depression likely too would not want to subject you to days and days of barely getting out of bed.

>I would say that I'm quiet and introverted, into art and literature, caring and emotional, I like helping people and nature and fixing things.

You sound like a sweet girl, but there is a point where you can become too giving of yourself, especially for those who aren't going to change. When dealing with any mental health issue, the most you can do is provide an environment and resources for the person to make good choices. You cannot choose for them.

I don't know what you do for your job or age for that matter, but you might want to look into the caring professions like social work which seems to support your nature. Did you only come to Jow Forums for advice, or are you surveying other online locales?