I've been single for about a year. Last night I went out with friends and got very drunk. On my way home a guy approached me asked me if I was looking for sex. To tell the truth, I was already feeling very horny before I ran into him, and in my drunken stupor I followed him to a brothel. I felt very uncomfortable and tried to leave but he kept trying to bargain with me and kept telling me how beautiful the girls were. In the end I accepted, and was taken into a room where I had protected sex with a Chinese lady (probably in her 30s).
I have never regretted something so much in my entire life. When I got home I immediately took a shower and couldn't fall asleep for hours. Ever since I woke up today I have felt intense shame and I was barely able to look at my mother when I talked to her on Skype. At one point in the day I just broke down into tears.
To me, sex has always been something that I have done with people who I am romantically attracted to. I have never had casual sex before. I have always put my partners pleasure above my own during sex. The sex I had with the prostitute makes me feel like a bad person. I used her for pleasure (although it wasn't very pleasurable). Prostitution isn't legal in my country so there is also the possibility that she was being exploited. The idea that I inflicted any kind of harm or negative emotion on that woman fills me with self hatred.
Most of all I am scared that I will never be able to be fully honest with anybody ever again. I spent all day googling women's views on men who had had sex with prostitutes, and most of them said they would never date a guy who would do that. Now, if I want to be happy in the future, I will have to lie to my significant other.
Did you finish in her anus and it smelled bad? Are you that shameful man?
Gabriel Sanchez
Wow user, that’s quite the story. Honestly? Be honest. I think future partners, you will need to be honest but someone will still love you.
Have you considered therapy? Talking to a friend?
Ian Morales
>Now, if I want to be happy in the future, I will have to lie to my significant other. well it's like when you ask your gf about her partner count it's known she'll lie. If she asks if you fucked a prositute you just lie too.
Jason Cruz
By not being a fucking faggot? All long term relationships with women are glorified prostitution
Dominic Moore
>Talking to a friend? I'm scared to talk to friends because I don't want people to see me that way. I hate that I did it - I never thought that I would. I have some friends who visit prostitutes regularly who wouldn't judge me, but I also doubt they would understand why I feel so bad. I think their views on sex are just different to mine.
As for your advice about honesty, I would really like to be 100% transparent with my future girlfriend(s). I'm just so scared that I could miss out on the love of my life because of some stupid shit I did in my early 20s. I already find it difficult to find people I romantically connect with, and this just adds another variable to stop me from finding someone to be with.
Jacob Ross
Lots of men have sex with prostitutes. No shame about it. What you should do is go to a brothel another time sober and pick a young qt.
Luke Nelson
Hey user, Look, you can’t keep this hidden forever. The truth will set you free. Cliche, but true. Doesn’t mean you need to tell the world you slept with a prostitute, but do confide in someone trusted, they might have even done it.
Look, I’m a chick and I would date a dude like you who slept with a prostitute if you really were that remorseful. Granted, I might have some trust issues at first but if you proved yourself? All’s well that ends well.
But seriously, therapy.
Jace Jenkins
Most prostitutes are trafficked and victims, it is NOT okay to go.
Wyatt Perry
>Most prostitutes are trafficked and victims, it is NOT okay to go. where the fuck do you live?
Adrian Russell
Dude, don’t fucking kid yourself, it’s any fucking country. Go cut your dick off or something for raping trafficked women.
Gabriel Peterson
Man up. Going to prostitute is not a bad thing if you are single. Sex is generally bad and cost lot of money, but there's no shame to pay yourself a little fun. And nobody will ever know/care about it if you don't claim it loud everyday.
Owen Brooks
False. Why are you lying?
Isaac Thomas
While you can chew this one over for the rest of your miserable life, weighing up the relative morality of paying for sex, what it means to your now tortured sense of love and commitment, what it meant to her, her existence, the potential for exploitation and so on ... what this falls under for me is the heading of shit that happened in the past and now cannot be changed or undone. So right now you've some raw feelings and emotions, but in time they'll fade and the whole incident will cease to bother you. The only way it will not cease to bother you is if you empower it with something else and learn a story, a narrative that you keep telling yourself to further embed and entrench a memory which you can access and tease yourself with forever more.
If you want to do that, great, good for you. It isn't even an automatically bad thing, great things can come from such situations because you set objectives and you apply yourself and define criteria which will do something for you, whatever you deem important. Like maybe you decide to help a charity which helps tackle the root causes of prostitution to help atone for what you did.
But don't pretend as the emotions fade you don't have a choice over how this goes down. Will you fuck your own head up over something that cannot be changed? Will you go into the world with a positive purpose if you feel you should do something about it? Or will you indulge in woe is me victim complex false emotional vulnerability for sympathy?
>I banged a 30 something chinese hooker. Feel sorry for me because I feel bad because I have morals you know.
Jose King
no it's not lol. Believe it or not many women decide to become hookers out of choice.
David Wright
Nice trips
Brandon Lee
she's worried about more competition so she's trying to shame men into avoiding prostitutes.
Charles Stewart
>hurr durr the hooker I fuck tells me she’s totally into it so it must be true
Kys
Camden Hall
>tells me she’s totally into it so it must be true I don't fuck hookers but you're right, I wouldn't believe it if she said that. You know why? Because it's just a job and she'll be fucking another guy in an hour and saying the same thing, not because she's a modern day slave lmao.
Samuel Evans
It is healthy for you to discover your moral limits, to know where "going too far" is. It is reasonable to regret the manner in which you learned this.
But in the grand scheme of things, yours was not a very major sin, and determining never to do it again may be all the punishment/expiation you need.
so what portion of prostitues are slaves? You seem to think it's most.
Xavier Johnson
We are not talking about third world theocratic shitholes where it's illegal.
Jayden Wood
I'm a sailor and I jave banged lots of prostitutes in europe. There is two profile: the young student in need of money, and the "pro" one who did this for years, because it's a lot of easy money. Both of those do this willingly. I've heard rumors of those sex slave but never really see any of them, must be a very few percent of the cheptel. But that's only europe :)
Hudson Taylor
Yeah like the girl is just going to tell you "I'm a sex slave lol" Not even mentioning the coercive and insidious nature of the industry, doubt you could tell the difference between an independent and a slave. OP deserves to feel bad
Adrian Stewart
>5,000 cases per year Uh huh. The US is a country of 325 million people I really doubt that every whore is a slave. If she has a foreign accent then you might be concerned , it she is getting high then you might be concerned, but being a prostitute does not always mean slavery.
It's a bigger issue within agriculture than prostitution
Ian Kelly
You're a prude moron who probbaly had some bad experiences cloud your vision of reality. Are strippers also all enslaved?
Caleb Baker
I see you're very concered with slavery, not prostitution. I'll stop fucking prostitutes when you ditch your iphone and hot chocolates. It's only fair.
You seem to be an expert on this subject. How many papers have you published and which government department do you work in?
Lucas Cooper
Every feminazi always goes "muh human trafficking" not realizing that prostitution is only a tiny sliver of it. It's like they are not concerned about actual slavery.
Kevin Cox
If you think that requires an expert to know you're more ignorant than I thought. Just tell yourself that what I said doesn't matter, call me a name, slavery exists in other places so that slavery doesn't matter you know? Anything to avoid challenging your worldview
Jackson Adams
I can empathize with your situation not because of the prostitution, but because of the self hatred and shame.
I think ANYONE one here that has even an ounce of self-awareness and more thna 10 years of life can somehow relate to a person who feels ashamed of SOMETHING, be it anything, theyve done.
its a sign of a healthy functioning brain. thats for starters. as far as dealing with the issue? only you can walk your path bro.
My father taught me that every man must learn how to decide what kind of man he wants to be and then have the discipline to follow through with it.
I challenged that idea throughout the years. sometimes i agree with it and sometimes i dont. im not completely sure whether moral relativism is a thing, or whether theres a universal code of morality that applies to everyone whether they know or like it. i just dont know. all i think individuals can do, is to feel in their heart like theyve done the best they could. truly. and be completely honest with yourself. whenever you HAVENT done your best, admit it, set a path for course correction and try again.
Fuck anyone who tells you what you did was "ok" just because everyone does it. if you feel like it was wrong, and you did it anyway, you violated your own code. now you have to figure out as a man what to DO with that. thats part of living. imo. fear not, this next part of your life will shape who you are...maybe even for the better.
Justin Taylor
Oh, so you have no actual knowledge of the subject whatsoever and are repeating memes? Why didn't you say right away you are making shit up and are completely clueless instead of pretending you know what you are talking about.
Henry Ramirez
No, it was an easy observation to make, why would someone who is possibly being threatened with being killed or having their forced drug addiction not fed fed tell every single person they have to have sex with that they are a sex slave?
It really doesnt need a "expert".
Ryder Cook
>they don't tell their clients they're sex slaves therefore they're sex slaves watch out guys, we've got a female Plato over here!
Camden Nguyen
Do you have proofs that this is the norm, especially in countries with legal prostitution?
