How do I move on after finding out I was the side girl all along?

How do I move on after finding out I was the side girl all along?

>nerdy ex from last year hits me up this summer
>like an idiot, I respond
>we start dating again, fall in love
>start talking about moving in since we're poor uni kids
>he holds my hand and tells me he loves me, wants to be with me until he dies
>turns out he's been dating another girl for the last two years
>yesterday, after our coffee date where he played with my hands and repeatedly said he loved me, and put his head on my shoulder so I can stroke his hair, he went straight to her place
>tfw I was made a side girl twice by the same guy
It hurts so much, you guys. I haven't eaten, slept, or gotten out of bed in two days. All I do is cry and sleep. I always had a fear of commitment, and it took me a long time to finally trust someone enough to date them. Now, I'm worse than when I started

I only dated him because I thought he was safe. He was a short, scrawny weeb kid studying CS, who's hobby was making video games. He was an awkward robot, just like me.

So why do something so manipulative and cruel? Why tell someone you love them, and then lie to their face right after?

Attached: 1544362919572.jpg (660x716, 46K)

First of all, you dating him cause safe is a bit weird but hey i will date you...

Jokes aside tough, hos did you find out?

Twitter. He never told me his account (bc it was linked to his gf) but when I synced my contacts, his came up. At first, he said it was old and he meant to delete it, but then I did some snooping and found his gf's Instagram (she's an artist so it was easy). On her story, he was in her dorm. The day he promised to be more honest with me. I messaged her to confirm, and she said that yes she was dating him. So I called him and confronted him, and he admitted to it.

Well, he done goofed. Thats bad to hear user. It might feel somewhat counter intuitive i suggest you get angry. Get angry with him cause he betrayed your trust, tell the other girl too and explain what the fucker did. Be graphic in detail if need be.

And then cut all ties with him. Block his number and him through all social media. Really do this, make it impossible for him to contact you.

Don't date niggers, problem solved. Why do women so often mistake niggers for Chads? Because they look good? How can you be so shallow?

Yeah, this is normal. I've done this plenty of times by now. I know it is shit but what am I supposed to do? Commit to a girl every single time I get horny? Come on. It's fair game too because you lower your guard and you become the victim instead. All is fair in love and war.

just rip his fucking spine out and dance on him epic fortnite style

Attached: god (2).jpg (158x110, 27K)

some people just don't care about others or don't think about what kind of pain they can cause. it sucks because they end up emotionally damaging others.
you'll eventually be ok and find someone else who's not a complete asshole.

>Commit to a girl every single time I get horny?
i understand playing the field. but you should be honest about it.
if you're doing what the guy in OP did where he lied about being in love and wanting to be with her forever, that's a different story. being a manipulative piece of shit isn't good.

>i understand playing the field. but you should be honest about it.
Yeah, if I went to every girl and told them "I'm just looking to fuck once and then ghost you" then my chances of fucking are going to the floor. There are girls looking for one night stands also, but they are a minority. It's better to just give everyone what they want.

>if you're doing what the guy in OP did where he lied about being in love and wanting to be with her forever, that's a different story. being a manipulative piece of shit isn't good.
Don't ask a question unless you have a plan for what to do if the answer you get is a lie. I mean, everyone can lie. It's super easy to lie. Even kids can lie. Having no backup plan is so retarded.

He is not a nigger god damn

>He was an awkward robot
He had a gf (AKA you) you absolute moron. Robot status is instantly lost after that. "Nerdy" weeb guys tend to be extremely impure and unfaithful, the moment any girl talks to him and instills him with any confidence he'll go off and fuck every slut within a hundred mile radius to compensate for the years he spent in his room seething over being an incel.

TRUEEE OMG

how do you know about this? This tends to be accurate as fuck, but I always wonder why they tend to brag about hoes but if the opportunity is given they turn into one themselves, like how ???

I know because I'm an incel weeb. All my formerly-incel friends basically did what I described the moment they got any female attention. And they all stopped talking to me to boot, fuck them.

Its shocking to hear. I didnt know this. So I better keep away from such kind of people?

He was neither black nor a Chad. He was a 5'4 Asian kid who was studying CS.

Nothing wrong with casual sex, but don't say you love her, take her on dates, tell her you want to be with her until you die. Especially when she wanted a casual relationship in the first place, don't push to get to know her better.

Why would they do something like that?

>Yeah, if I went to every girl and told them "I'm just looking to fuck once and then ghost you" then my chances of fucking are going to the floor. There are girls looking for one night stands also, but they are a minority. It's better to just give everyone what they want.

That's absolutely sociopathic. You're willing to hurt someone just to get off? It's not that hard to find an FWB these days, you know. You probably just like the power that hurting people gives you.

>Don't ask a question unless you have a plan for what to do if the answer you get is a lie. I mean, everyone can lie. It's super easy to lie. Even kids can lie. Having no backup plan is so retarded.

Dude, honesty is the foundation of human society. If you suspect everyone of being dishonest, then all communication is effectively meaningless. Why be with someone you can't trust? I wouldn't have gone on with him if I didn't think I could trust him.

As a scumbag who was in the 2 gf zone before, not just fucking two girls but having a relationship with both without either knowing, drop him. It isnt fucking worth it. If he is anything like me he is addicted to intimacy and has some weird mommy/isolation/emotional issues from youth that he hasnt confronted. Considering I'm also a scrawny weeb compE major, I feel like this is too real. Break up with him, and either tell him to get aome fucking help or just leave. Either way never talk to him again. He isnt worth your time. Good bfs are out there, but dont be afraid to be alone for a while. You dont need a bf, its good to relearn how to live outside of a relationship.

Attached: 1535413261809.png (640x433, 99K)

>That's absolutely sociopathic
It would be if everyone else wasn't doing it. When literally everyone does something that sounds kinda disgusting, it is no longer a mental issue but a cultural issue. Like the nazis.

>Dude, honesty is the foundation of human society.
It isn't. You are probably still a kid if you think this is the case. The foundation of human society is the threat of violence. When you want to do something with someone, you don't 'trust' them. You make a written agreement that if broken will be enforced by a court, and then whoever was at fault will have to maneuver through a list of potential punishments, the last one of them being the threat of going to prison, the act of structural violence against your freedom.

> If you suspect everyone of being dishonest, then all communication is effectively meaningless.
Not really. When we talk with business partners it is common to suspect all of them of being dishonest, but through politics and agreements we can figure out a way in such that if they are lying to us in a potentially devastating way, the law will end up hurting them. The same thing we do with foreign policy. Do you think Russia or China ever tells the truth? Do you think we ever tell the truth to them?

> I wouldn't have gone on with him if I didn't think I could trust him.
Then you will literally never be able to be a politician, business owner, CEO, CFO, or hold any position of any significant power in your entire life. Not even manager at a Mc Donald's.

>honesty is the foundation of human society.
I remember being this sheltered. You'll learn soon enough.

>He was a 5'4 Asian kid who was studying CS.
racemixing is always bad m'kay?

I've been cheated on in almost every relationship I've been in. They always like and say they love you, but then they turn around and make you look like a fool.
Here's the thing; people will always, always care about themselves more than they care about you. Maybe that guy was telling you the the truth and he honestly truly loved you... But that doesn't mean he's gonna stop looking out for A-number 1. If a person thinks that they can get a little extra on the side without getting caught, they're going to do it. Would you trust a kid around a cookie jar when mom's not around?
There are people out there who maybe won't cheat, but most of those people are naive and sheltered, or simply don't have the option to cheat, because they aren't desired or have a small social circle. Furthermore, whether they are really faithful or not is information that your will never, ever have.

So now I don't do relationships anymore, I just have casual sex, or sometimes just cuddling. No dating means there's no expectation of exclusivity, and thus, no cheating. In fact, it's fucking great, I never have to argue or fight with anyone, I save loads of money, and holidays are simple. Sometimes women call me a fuccboi, and just shrug and say something like "I'm only responding to how the world has treated me. If you don't like fuccbois then maybe you and your peers shouldn't create them."

Holy shit you give some good advice.
Do you wanna keep in touch? Email is [email protected]

>>That's absolutely sociopathic
>It would be if everyone else wasn't doing it.

You can't crowdsource morality, my guy.

>>Dude, honesty is the foundation of human society.
>It isn't. You are probably still a kid if you think this is the case. The foundation of human society is the threat of violence.

Structural violence is a foundation of the state and organized hierarchy. Since personal relationships between people aren't hierarchical, this doesn't apply

>> If you suspect everyone of being dishonest, then all communication is effectively meaningless.
>Not really. When we talk with business partners it is common to suspect all of them of being dishonest...

I don't get texts from the Russian embassy saying "good night sweet dreams" or have them wrap me in a blanket so I can cry about my grades. Your lover is a source of peace. If you view them as a threat, leave, because that relationship is broken.
Trust is necessary for communication, and communication is necessary for healthy relationships

>> I wouldn't have gone on with him if I didn't think I could trust him.
>Then you will literally never be able to be a politician, business owner, CEO, CFO...or any significant position of power...

Healthy personal relationships aren't hierarchical my guy. Human beings need to feel like they're equals with another person to feel safe around them. Otherwise you get this weird Hegelian master and slave dynamic, and learn to hate and fear each other.

Again, you're confusing the personal and professional. You can't view personal relationships with this cold, supposedly objective lens. Because unlike professional relationships, personal relationships aren't cold. Feelings are involved, people appreciate one another, and there's potential to get hurt in a way that will scar you.

Forgive me for the hesitation but that email looks sketchy. If you are for real I can drop my discord here, as I would love to help.

Attached: h0dcde797ws11.jpg (564x595, 80K)

This is the third time I've been cheated on. It would be easier to become bitter and cynical, but cynicism isn't a virtue, it's a defense mechanism. I've seen healthy, honest, equitable relationships, and I believe I will eventually find someone I can have that with

Robots will die alone and unloved that was a turbo normie you dated. Impossible for robots to have girlfriends.

Lol that works for me too. Sorry, it's a throwaway I made a couple years ago

>You can't crowdsource morality, my guy.
I wasn't. My point is that when something is a part of society at large, it is not classified as a mental issue but as a cultura issue. Thus I mentioned the nazis. If you are a single nazi, you probably have very deep problems. But if you were born in nazi society, you will be a nazi regardless of what you are as a human.

>Since personal relationships between people aren't hierarchical
Personal relationships are hierarchical.

> If you view them as a threat
Everyone is a potential threat. Your boyfriend just hurt you. Would you not consider him now, in retrospect, a threat? The only difference between you and me is that I would not have let that surprise me.

>Healthy personal relationships aren't hierarchical my guy.
Yes they are. Everything is hierarchical. In my relationship there is a hierarchy with two people. I am at the top, my girlfriend is at the bottom. In other relationships the woman is at the top and the man at the bottom. It can be either way, but it exists.

Don't go for guys who have options then, but those men, of course, are invisible to you.

Alright it is [spoiler] Sad Man#2770 [/spoiler] .

Attached: B39D009B-A81C-40B2-9AD1-70BBCE9BCEEE.jpg (500x375, 25K)

If they don't have options, that means I'm not an option. That's a contradiction.

Trust me, there will always be a girl more desperate than me. It depends on the guy whether he wants to cheat or not.

>Trust me, there will always be a girl more desperate than me. It depends on the guy whether he wants to cheat or not.
It's almost entirely the other way around. Men are far more desperate.

>healthy, honest, equitable relationships, and I believe I will eventually find someone I can have that with
you are right.

However, If you have been cheated on a number of times however is probably because you dont see the early signs of a dishonest person
You might be weak to people telling you what you want to hear
work on that. I ' m not saying become paranoid, I'm saying work on what makes you so gullible
If you dont the odds of you going back with a cheater are high as these people can smell who is gullible enough to be manipulated

>why
insecurity, psychological problems and toxic masculinity, basically.

It's not really your fault, although you should have respected yourself a bit more.
Just remember to learn from this mistake.

You'll grow.

if you start really hitting rock bottom though, see a therapist/psychologist/counselor.

Attached: 1532362556753.png (746x512, 99K)

>cynicism isn't a virtue, it's a defense mechanism
You're not wrong but at the same time anyone without defenses will find life to be nasty, brutish, and short. I'd like to live in a fairytale land where the good guys always win too, but that's not reality.

The word nigger has nothing to do with race. If you steal bikes, have side chicks etc, you're a nigger. Stop being racist.
This kid was obviously a nigger, since only niggers cheat on women long term. You could try and find another word for it if it were just a one time thing, but only a nigger can cheat on a girl for a long period of time.

That's literally a racial slur wtf