I just found out that my new and FIRST ever girlfriend has a boyfriend...

Not a reference i know of.

I think the key to happiness and life in general is to have someone to share happiness and stuff with. If you have nothing like me, in my eyes, you can't truly be happy.

I said that I'm heart broken and that I will need time to process it, she agreed. That was today.
I'm not working I'm still in uni, it's unusual to work while in uni where I'm from.

>If she'll cheat for you she'll cheat on you
I know user, I was the one giving the same advice to my friends back in high school, I liked to pretend I know shit about dating but in reality I don't.

Her cheating on me is not my main problem right now, it's that she lied to me for a whole month.

what would make you weak is banging some guy's sloppy seconds just because you feel like you NEED a girl in your life (protip: you dont)

emotions are superfluous. let her go and you'll get over it, and you'll be better off for it. take it as a learning experience - these hoes will string guys like you along if you let them, and they won't feel a thing.

and dont fucking kill yourself over a female. focus on yourself, lift, find a physical hobby, focus on your career goals. also dont take advice from females on dating - dont tell her how you feel, it's a waste of time, she has already shown she doesnt respect or care about you.

I honestly won't date someone who I cant trust and someone who cheats... That gf is just low

>what would make you weak is banging some guy's sloppy seconds just because you feel like you NEED a girl in your life
No, you got it wrong, I'm 110% sure that I won't continue to "play" bf gf with her. It's just how I am, I can't be with someone after learning this. Not for ONE second did I think about continuing this.

>dont tell her how you feel
But my ideal relationship would be when you 2 get comfy enough with each other to where you start talking about emotional stuff and support each other emotionally

You just don't understand the young people, grandma.

Same OP. Every girl I date either already has a boyfriend that she lets me know about after I've already fucked her, or I'm the one that gets cheated on. I'm starting to think that monogamous relationships aren't even a thing anymore. What am I doing wrong? I usually find these girls from my university classes and they seem completely normal at first.

If you say so sonny

I wouldn't as well, I'm the most desperate person you can imagine, starved for human contact, but even I won't do it.

Can't say I noticed that, this is my first serious "thing" with a girl.

That would be everyones ideal relationship. But shes clearly not the one, so why bother

Sexual liberation in a nutshell. Only ugly bitches being faithful nowadays. Just gotta pump and dump and move on.

I dont know how you didnt immediately respond with "I am not going to be a part of this, you're gonna take us seriously or I'm gone right this second."

>first hug
>first kiss
>first hand held
>she stole them all
I wouldn't be coherent enough to play it cool if someone did that to me. I would be inconsolably enraged.

I think that would be the appropriate reaction

Wew lad.

Been there, done that.

She ain't the one, fren. She's being callous. Would you be cool with it if your friend was treated the same? Get out and be thankful you haven't gotten her pregnant.

I had oneitius with my first girlfriend to the point I was basically a zombie for about a year. Now I have a girlfriend, soon to be fiance, that is better than her in literally every way. Sorry about the heartbreak though, it's a mother.

Because I haven't been able to form a relationship with anyone before, I really thought she was the only one.

No I'm done pretty much, I just want advice on coping. And I want to tell the other guy but I don't know him well enough, just name.

I just think there will be no one else, she was the only one who ever gave me a chance.

If you have chat logs between you and her on snapchat or something just send those to him. Find him on facebook.

I was thinking more about nicely telling him and warning him, she said she has been going out with him a month before us ( and we were "together" for a month ).

Maybe he could end up becoming my friend

You have to understand that this happens all the time. You are walking in the steps of men throughout history. It hurts like a motherfucker the first time.

I was 100% convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that my first girlfriend was *the one*. After we broke up I was in shambles, and had a palpable decline in mental health. That was about seven years ago.

Now, from the point where I was frequently considering necking myself, I have a girlfriend who is
>nicer
>more compassionate
>more educated
>more intelligent
>better looking
>hard working
>family-oriented
She's unbelievable. All of my friends who have met have been telling me for years to wife her. And this is all after I was entirely 100% convinced that I would always be broken and would never find anyone.
I repeat: if your a friend of yours was in the same position as you, would you be like "shit man, I guess she was the one. Guess you're just fucked!" Trust me, now that you've gone through the ropes you'll be in a better position to see the warning signs ahead of time.

>I really thought she was the only one
She isnt.
The sooner that sinks in the sooner you will move on. And you will. Billions of females out there man, "the one" doesnt exist

Cut her off.

You're 20, most likely only one quarter through life. You don't have to like sports to ask, what the fuck kind of team would give up because they're down in the first quarter? It sounds to me like you don't have any real path or passion figured out for yourself so you need to be willing to delve into the unknown and try new things to figure it out.

I'd recommend doing some research on the hero's journey, as it's not just a common plot device in mythology, it's a pattern that shows up over and over again in the works humans create because it's the lifeblood of how hard times, rejection, isolation and pain come to form stronger humans who then have the ability to make the world a better place for everyone.

Hope this helps.

At the end of the day most relationships eventually fade out. Never take romantic relationships super seriously. Girls just come and go. Live your life and find something that can make you happy

I really hope what you're saying is true but I hit a dead end, I don't have any friends ( some but only during uni classes ) or any ways to meet and get introduced to someone.

I'm familiar with hero's journey but I never looked at life through that perspective, interesting.

She was the one that made me happy. I didn't only hope it would last forever, I took it for granted and was sure of it.

Get a job if you don't have one and start going to the gym or running. Put yourself in positions where you interact with people more often. It won't magically give you a full network for friends but you'll start building social skills and it'll be easier. Class is also good, just bullshit with people about anything or ask questions.

>She was the one that made me happy. I didn't only hope it would last forever, I took it for granted and was sure of it.
Pretty much all of us do that the first time, man. And facing the music when it doesn't work out can be one of the best growth opportunities there are, if you're willing to view it as an opportunity to fight through the pain and build a more complete version of yourself.

I personally look back at getting dumped by my high school girlfriend of two and a half years to be the single best thing that ever happened to me. It's all about your perspective, none of us are born to fail and all of us have it within us to become greater. It's just difficult, and it's human nature to get comfortable and sidetracked.

I'm looking for a job but it is unusual here. Class is probably my best bet

But how can you turn it into a good thing if your first everything was literally the worst it could've been, and you will always remember your firsts

>But how can you turn it into a good thing if your first everything was literally the worst it could've been, and you will always remember your firsts
By realizing that, by definition, the only direction you have to go is up.

>She says that it's not cheating and that it's ok because I'm the 2nd one so she's technically cheating on her first boyfriend with me.
She should join the olympics with mental gymnastic skills like that

But it's too late for me in life to be going through it all.. I want to speed it up

One of my best friends, who I've found new passions and been influenced by greatly just by hanging out with, is a virgin (I'm pretty sure). And just within the last few months he set out and rode almost the entire east coast on his bike, over 2,000 miles round trip. Since he came back, he's been making money playing gigs as a local musician, and has released an album he recorded and produced entirely on his own. Both of us are around the same age, in our early twenties.

Is this guy someone who it's "too late" for? Hell no, he's done shit that most people could never do and I have nothing but respect for him. I've never once in the last few years talked to him and gotten an impression that he's moving in any direction but forwards. Because shit like how old you were when you first got laid is just arbitrary crap, what really matters is your willpower, vision and inner strength.

>what really matters is your willpower, vision and inner strength.
And all 3 were just shattered.

I have to find a way to move forward I know but when I lose her I will have no one, and I mean no one at all. The only contact I will have is with the "friend" at uni but that's only during classes

Having nobody is a blank slate, the freedom to decide who you surround yourself with and thus who you want to become. Making friends, coming from having nobody, is tough. Almost everyone who leaves their hometown to move to a new city has to do it, and I've never known of any of them describing it as an easy process. But I've also never heard of any of the ones who toughed it out regretting it down the line.

I'm sure I'm not regretting that I moved for uni but I don't think I was ready for this. I thought about it but I didn't think it would be this severe. I was never the popular one back in high school but even that 1 time a week a go out with friends was something, something better than what i have now.

Whatever you do, don't forget to stream it.

It's not easy, but you just gotta consciously remind yourself that things won't stay the same if you actively grind to fix them. I'll emphasize the word "grind", because honestly, making friends, finding what you like doing, getting good at doing things, relationships, etc. are all very rewarding, but at the end of the day all of them are a grind that requires constant effort.

Even if you don't see it now, things are going to improve for you as long as you don't just retreat back into your comfort zone. Freedom is inherently difficult for us, but we don't become strong, mature, and well-rounded people without having to experience the difficulty of paving a suitable path for ourselves.

I do think that this experience of mine will change quite a few things in my life, and my life was shit before it, like a dream during it, and devastating afterwards. But at least it's a change, bad now but maybe good in the long run?
I'm just making excuses for myself.
I'm tired I'm going to sleep

At least you're stupid. Chin up, you'll find someone. You seem pretty nice and smart

ghost her before you get fucked and cucked even harder

Every girl you meet has a bf or a main guy and another guy she's working so you have to assume that going in. Its a females oldest hustle and they have refined it to an art. One guy is never enough so they play two or more. The main guy is under constant threat of being replaced so he will accept almost anything to remain number one and the new guy believes he will have her one day and will accept almost anything on her false promise. If one guy drops there is always a guy she has cultivated to replace him.

Bumping vause curious