Alright guys no more games, no more riddles, no more abstract answers leaving me guessing wtf you mean. Please tell me in the most direct, concrete, easy to understand, (and follow) way possible.
How do I get a gf?
I am sick and tired of asking this question to people and either getting a differant result or getting some answer that can be interperated a number of ways. Step by step, please show me how. I know I might be coming off as an asshole, but Im frustrated and tired as fuck.
The same way you make guy friends, except you get to fuck the girly bits.
>How do I get a gf?
Easy mode: See it as some kind of board game or video game. Look up for what is current meta and research most successful builds, then start applying it and always remember to keep a spreadsheet with your win rate, and other data that you think may be important.
Hard mode: Just /b/ yourself.
Yea well I mean there is no one way to get a girlfriend, that's the truth.
The general common format is you find a girl you're attracted to, talk to them for a little bit and get to know them, then you ask them out on a date, have sex, take em on a couple more dates, have more sex, and boom you gotta gf. I don't think that's something you didn't know though.
Try to continually improve yourself. Exercise, read, pursue hobbies. Join clubs or groups that interest you where you can meet new people. Meet a woman that you are interested in and chat a bit and get to know eachother a bit. The moment you think yeah she's nice I could see pursuing a relationship with her go and ask her on a date. If she declines move on.
You get a gf by meeting women, establishing some form of relationship with them, developing that relationship to the point where some women would want to be in a romantic relationship with you and then you reach some sort of verbal/non-verbal agreement about where you'd like said relationship to become and voila, you have a gf.
This of course is an oversimplification.
There's no one way of getting a gf and the way to a woman's heart widely varies and should be approached on a case to case basis. The more experience you have with women and the more attractive you are to the girl you want (whether this is looks, intelligence, some skill you have... widely varies) the easier it becomes.
Can't talk normal like to any people
>tfw when the "questions about hobby before introduction when in a hobby-related community" rush works every time
feels glorious
Think of a woman you know who is autistic as you are and ask her out
(this has worked for me in securing a first date at least)
Social skills 101:
If you want a gf you need basic social skills, most people acquire these by the time they finish school, some develop them further by having a job that involves talking to/dealing with people.
Once you have basic social skills you approach a woman and strike up conversation like you do with anyone else, only you make your intentions clear early on, if they aren't interested they will tell you.
Once a woman is receptive to you telling her you are interested in her, make small talk about facts and information regarding the topic/situation at hand, if she is still receptive, share your ideas and judgements regarding the topic/situation at hand. Once you have managed to do this and keep her interested for at least a few minutes or a couple of topics.
DO NOT PLAY 20 QUESTIONS CONSTANTLY CHANGING THE TOPIC BECAUSE YOU THINK THINGS ARE DRYING UP
DO NOT SHARE STORIES/ANECDOTES THAT DON'T HAVE A PREDETERMINED START/MIDDLE/END AND REQUIRE INSIDER KNOWLEDGE
If things are going well, ask if she would like to get coffee sometime, if things are going really well ask if she would like to get dinner, date ideas like coffee are low risk while some women are put off by dinner straight away as they may be stuck somewhere with you rather than somewhere they can just up and leave.
If the date goes well, tell her you would like to see her again (ideally doing something different) and leave the ball in her court to contact you, ask her to contact you so you know she got home safe to make sure she texts you something back.
After the second date ask about being exclusive, don't rush to label it
Grooming:
Always brush your teeth, FLOSS, use mouth wash, bad breath can put a woman off
Your hair should require a bare minimum of effort to style, if you can go a month without getting your hair cut it is either shoulder length or you don't give a fuck
If you are over 21 avoid graphic t shirts, chequered shirts always look good, invest in some branded jeans as they will last you a long time, wear suitable footwear and don't wear boots to places unless you are autistic or have a club foot. Your clothes should be washed properly and ironed, if you can't wash or iron you're probably not mature enough to be dating
Smoking is a double edged sword with one very dull edge, chances are the girl you're trying to impress isn't a fan of the smell of cigarette smoke, even cigars smell awful to most women, you probably won't look "classy" or whatever
NO HATS, ESPECIALLY FEDORAS
You should aim to exercise at least twice a week, women can see the physical difference between men and boys from a mile away
Attitude:
Have you ever heard or said "all girls like bad guys"? congratulations, you're clueless. Chad Thundercock is attracting women because he isn't socially stunted and actually talks to women, even if 1 in 100 women will give him the time of day, he is dating more women than you by actually approaching them in the first place.
Don't become a dick head, don't bad mouth people as it makes you sound petty and weak, don't give in if challenged by your date as women do this to see what they can get away with/how much backbone you have. Stay positive, talk about ambitions, plans for the future, dream holidays. DON'T DISCUSS GETTING MARRIED OR HAVING KIDS, DON'T DISCUSS EXES, DON'T ASK ABOUT EXES AND SEXUAL PARTNERS YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR AN ARGUMENT OR SHE WILL LIE TO YOU
Alright.
Confidence.
Don't be a bitch about saying something.
Use that autism to your advantage, of ignoring social norms, to talk about your interests and thoughts. Also, do what you want to do, but invite them.
This might lead to attracting quirky girls or passive, yet interested, girls.
Eh. Depends on who you want to attract.
Otherwise, just pick girls you like and ask them out on singular dates within the next four days. No bullshit. Say it straight: "What are you doing Saturday?" "Nothing" "Sounds like you got a movie date. Let's say 7 pm. Sounds good. See you there."
Keep the day really close.
If they say they are busy, just continue with that topic for a bit.
I'm successful with women, all I really do is talk to them like normal. Like a lot fo guys make the mistake of talking to girls differently. Actually I do too, but I at least try to talk like normal, like they're another man. You want to get rid of the atmosphere like you're trying to take something from them and just appreciate the fact you're talking to a beautiful woman. Like the conversation alone should be full satisfaction for you, you don't need sex, just the fact a beautiful woman is talking to you is worth it.
The other thing I do is be super honest, absolutely **no matter the consequences**. This is very important because honesty is part of the female evolution survival strategy. She can't help it, it's written in her DNA, she must find an honest guy, even more importantly than finding a good guy. This si why women shit test, etc, it's to challenge you and detect your level of honesty.
Lying is when a human wants a thing (an advantage of any kind: money, sex, power, permission, escape from punishment or humiliation) and they use their cognition to tell something that isn't true. There is a level of temptation involved in all lies. Did you steal the cookie from the jar? Small temptation, easy to be honest. Did you kill that man? Big temptation, very hard to tell the truth.
Every man in the world has a different "price" for their honor. Price meaning: the level of temptation required to tell lies. The harder it is to tell a lie, the better you'll be with girls. Something about the so-called "assholes" is they always say what's on their head. I'm the same way. Very short circuit between my mind-and-mouth.
Like you wouldn't believe the things I've said to girls, and still had them fall in glove with me or have sex with me. Like even weakness, "I'm feeling awkward right now" or "I'm not sure if you like me" has harmed me nothing, because it came out of my mouth in real honesty.
(1/2)
Dating isn't a mathematical proof, retard. There is no methodology that will 100% succeed or 100% fail. What is defined as success or failure isn't even explicitly predetermined, either.
In other words, you are asking a question that doesn't have an actual answer. No one can provide you it.
>all I really do is talk to them like normal.
And hit then amirite?
Be direct in your intent. Directness destroys creepiness. Get that in your head.
Creepiness is when something you say or do is ambiguous. Meaning it can mean multiple things. It invokes fear in the woman because she has to figure out which one is true, and it's often not safe. Here's a very common example: You want to ask a girl out:
"Hey if you're free I'm going to [this thing] you're welcome to come"
She'll think: Ok is he asking me out or inviting me as just a friend? If he's asking me out, why does he need to be so subtle about it? Does he think he's unworthy of me and needs to play innocent? I can't say it's not a date, but yes, because that'll make me look like a slut. I can't say it is a date, but not platonic, because he made the question so innocent. This is hard to answer.
versus
"Would you like to go out with me this Saturday?"
She'll think: Oh he things I'm beautiful. Really? Him? That's cool, my confidence is boosted because a great guy shows interest in me. I feel safe because your intentions are very clear. You like me and want a date. I can say yes or no easily because neither will make me look like a slut. Also if I say no, I can still suggest that we hang out as just friends. I have options and power. I feel safe.
So you see, being direct makes things feel better for the woman. Also indirectness serves what? Your cowardice? There must be a reason for it, and generally it's because you think you're not good enough. More often that not, it's true. So if you can't be direct with a woman, you shouldn't be dating her.
From there, you have a date. Be a good listener and take interest in her. Remember to just enjoy her company. Don't expect a kiss or sex or anything at all. Just enjoy being with her. there is nothing better than spending time with a beautiful woman. And if she becomes your gf, you'll spend mostly time with her anyway. Enjoy just being with her and she'll feel it.
Go on a few more dates, you have a gf
>CAN'T SOCIALIZE
>WANTS BENEFITS OF SOCIALIZING
Fucksakes
I cave manned my girlfriend. After a month of getting to know her, I essentially told her I liked her and that she was mine. I highly suggest you don't do what I did, OP. Most women would scoff at you and tell you no, but mine gave me a chance.
Nearly two years later now and we are thinking next year we might get engaged. Or the year after when we finish our Bachelors and move in together.
>There is no methodology that will 100% succeed
Yes there is. My method works every time. Assuming the girl likes me.
Girls won't like every man, but the method is rather predictable. Virtue is a constant for example.
>there is no one way to get a girlfriend
It involves asking her out, being a good person, and talking to her. That's really it. I'd like to understand why you believe this. Please advise.
>establishing some form of relationship with them, developing that relationship
I agree with all but this point.
The moment you like a woman, you should ask her out directly. Anything else is playing games. And why play games? Do you need to trick her into a relationship with you?
This reeks of trickery. You don't need to control the weather, you need to learn to pack a raincoat. Change your approach to a more reactionary one.
>ask them out on singular dates within the next four days
>Keep the day really close.
This is too anticipatory. He should do what feels right. You can't (and shouldn't) control the weather. I've had dates with women planned 2 weeks in advance.
Like if they flake , let them, you should see it as their loss. If you don't see it this way, then you're simply not a catch for her and shouldn't date her.
>Why do you believe there is no one way to get a girlfriend?
Because everyone is different, and while yes, you have to ask the person out and be decent and confident, which I did say in my post as well, everyone is different and some ways of asking out at certain times are different for different people. The OP said they have difficulty with social interactions, so the HOW of those processes is the difficult part, no one is saying that you have to do anything other than ask a girl out. It's how you ask her out that matters, and that's a contextual thing that requires in the moment social awareness, which is only learned through experience and habit or a born skill.
>Sex on the first date
Funnily enough, I had a chance for that, but I was too committed to the dates-before-sex pattern.
So was I wrong for thinking this way?
Am I just outdated in thinking?
I understand thanks user
>Dating isn't a mathematical proof, retard.
WELL IT SHOULD BE! Do you know how easy this shit would be if I could just roll for charisma?!
I can talk to people reletively fine so long as I stay simple and nobody is the wiser. It's extremely irritating to do small talk though or conversations with no real purpose. Imagine doing work on your desk and your asshole of a boss/teacher just straight up puts more work right on top of the thing you're working on like a total douche.
Unless it serves a purpose with usable information or has a clear answer, conversations are kind of a chore with me. They just are.
This advice is so good Im copying it to a word doc. THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING MEANT WHEN I SAID "CONCRETE"! Thank you my dude.
But what if the truth is shitty?
and something tells me the "Oh he things I'm beautiful. Really? Him? That's cool, my confidence is boosted because a great guy shows interest in me." Is bullshit. Im not a terrible guy, but even I can sense the over-optimism here.
user, relax. This is a conversation.
>But what if the truth is shitty?
That's what I was trying to explain. People tell lies because the truth is unfavorable. Only strong men tell the truth when the truth is unfavorable. Only very strong men tell the truth when the truth is very unfavorable. Try and think about my post before, I think I explained it well
>I can sense the over-optimism here.
This is correct if you're dating out of your league. The idea of dating is to find someone in your league. She'll be a catch for you, you'll be a catch for her. If you weren't a catch, then she wouldn't date you.
Girls will feel happy and validated when you ask them out. Unless you're very ugly and below her, she'll feel validated. You have to think outside your head and put yourself in a woman's shoes for a minute. What would you feel if you were a woman and a man asked you out?
>gf
>sex
Wrong, for both of you.
onlinelibrary.wiley.com
>Bivariate results suggested that delaying sexual involvement was associated with higher relationship quality across several dimensions. The multivariate results indicated that the speed of entry into sexual relationships was negatively associated with marital quality, but only among women."
onlinelibrary.wiley.com
>"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution."
psycnet.apa.org
>"Both structural equation and group comparison analyses demonstrated that sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes, even when controlling for education, the number of sexual partners, religiosity, and relationship length."
>That's what I was trying to explain. People tell lies because the truth is unfavorable. Only strong men tell the truth when the truth is unfavorable. Only very strong men tell the truth when the truth is very unfavorable. Try and think about my post before, I think I explained it well
But doesn't that make a bad impression? or do I just not mention the bad parts about me at all? Full disclosure is enough to make anyone run away regardless because they see the bad over the good that's just human nature.
>This is correct if you're dating out of your league.
How do I calculate my league then? and how am I sure she is within it?
>do I just not mention the bad parts about me at all?
It's best to wait until there's a sense of confidence and mutual trust. So yes, while she's still a stranger, you don't tell her anything you'd be afraid to tell a stranger.
I've opened up with, and had girls open up on first dates. We've shared risky and personal information on first dates. But this is rare. You're perfectly fine keeping bad stuff under wraps until you feel comfortable.
And you can say that, too. If she asks you a question which is too personal or risky, you can quite literally say "I don't feel comfortable talking about that right now". That's perfectly fine.
>How do I calculate my league then? and how am I sure she is within it?
That is an interesting question. I had to think about it for a minute.
Relationships are like a trade. Everyone has things to give and take. And everyone has different amounts of what they give. And based on how much they can give, determines how much they can take.
Things you can give are: beauty, money, power, social status, health, emotional support, good listener, etc.
It's all the things that people like in each other. Some people can pull amazing dates because they can offer a lot.
For example, Katy Perry can date a multimillionaire business man because she is a high-status celebrity and is beautiful. She has a lot to offer, which allows her a lot to take.
Another example, a obese autistic nerd can date a obese girl who might not be a virgin, but he won't be able to date the qt3.14 virgin next door because he doesn't offer enough to take what she has (virgin, nice personality, good listener maybe, wife/mother material).
So to find your league, you have to first consider all the things you offer a woman. And then from there you determine what qualities you deserve to take from her. It should be almost equal. Because if it's not; say, she offers more, then she'll stop dating you because she can find a better man. And vice-versa.
There should be at least some guidelines to follow before it divulges into chaos.
Eh~
If it's a shorter time to wait, the less the bs to go through.
Also, I wanted to give him a date fast; seems closer to what he was asking. I understand your point. I just wanted to get some fast results.
You're welcome. I've used the same shit before. Also, my autismo best friend got a hot 9 fwb out of doing the same shit.
Alright then I'll tell you what I got, you tell me what that gets me.
>Im very fit and athletic I powerlift twice a week for about 4-5 hrs
>Im on the short side at around 5"9-5"8
>Told to be handsome by some people.
>Im 20 and living with my parents, but Ive got a job and am going to school for a degree in engineering. This gives me a limited disposable income that is projected to only increase in time.
>Im a good listener, when Im interested.
>Im a musician and can play multiple instruments, Im ok at it.
>Ive got fairly low standards that equate to
don't be ugly or obese,
don't be a bitch,
and help out when I ask.
>I give absolutely NO SHITS about "status"
or the level of beauty you see on magazines. In my experiance the prettier they get, the bitchier they get so I kinda want to find a happy average girl. I actually wouldn't bang Katy Perry.
>Oh and Im a virgin. Pretty sure that doesn't do much for a guy but hey it's a thing.
So going off of just that. What would that be able to get?
Or in the real world
>Would you like to go out with me saturday?
>uhh no, *runs away, tells friend how she'd never go out with me, avoids me for the rest of time, friendship ruined*
I think you'd be able to get a decent normal pretty woman your age at the university.
>Ive got fairly low standards
Women can feel this and it's not attractive. If there's anything else you desire in a woman, it's best to not sell yourself short.
No, you are pathetic and come to an advice board to spread despair. Kindly make love to yourself with an retractable baton, loser.
>spreads dispair on an imageboard
>calls out others for spreading dispair
Oh come on. Just having a tripcode is a pot-stirring move and literally everyone except tripfags know it. Why play moral high-ground, fucking Born-Again tripfag?
shut up rascal. I'm losing my tolerance for you losers.
contribute something. There's some advice for you
Every single time this comes up it's always "how", but no one stops to think "why". A girl isn't some thing you can own, it's another human. So the bigger question you should be asking in your life is "Do you want another human in your life and why?"
Everyone wants the sex and the lovy dovy stuff. But with it also comes the arguments, the awkward values collisions, all of that. Are you honestly ready for that?
>you can't own another human being
women are submissive by their nature
Although those types of women exists, they're rare. They're rare not only because the women of today want to do more with their lives but also because the men of today just don't desire that type of woman anymore.
Thanks, this
You guys haven't get tje essence of a relationship
No they're not you clearly have no grasp on women.
>Having low standards is a turn off.
but wouldn't that make it easier on thier end though? Women are always saying that guys "have thier expectations too high" and that "it's unrealistic" and all that crap so how come doing the opposite doesn't work? Isn't that what they want?
>men of today just don't desire that type of woman anymore.
I don't know much about women or what they want so you might be right in that regard, but as I am a man I think I can say that that part about men not wanting submissive women is absolute dogshit.
I would LOVE a submissive woman. Do you know why? because a submissive woman is going to hesitate before butting horns with you when you need something a certain way. She won't go full throttle when demanding something. She'll be reasonable. She might actually do what you ask without getting on your knees and begging her and Im not even talking about sex. In short she'll be a lot more stable and easy to work with.
If you want a woman with the brain of a pitt-bull that gives you a hard time for everything be my guest, but don't force your domination fetish on all of us. You are not the majority.
Second.
>T. Scruffy-- I mean guy dating submissive lady, it's Patrician tier
Generally, 'stubborn' or 'hard-headed' are all too often used in place where 'dull' or 'simple' would do... the kind who gets mad when they're wrong and then blames others.
I'm a sex-positive guy, my dude, but I won't tell you to have sex if you don't feel comfortable doing it.
Have sex if you want to, if you're unsure then don't. You're not less of a man because you don't want to have sex all the time. As long as your encounters are between consenting adults, then it's all good
You shouldn't unless you want to create kids with low empathy and creativity
If the guy has high standards, and still gives her the time of day, she'll feel special like she has value. Women perceive their value from the quality of their relationships.
In contrast, a man with no standards is not attractive because yes he'll date you. But he'll also date that dumb ugly girl across the room. So why let him have you if that's all he thinks he's worth?