GUIDELINES: Before you post, check the FAQ. Try to keep questions concise. Use paragraph breaks. It helps if you address your question "Guys," "Girls,"
FAQ: >What do girls/guys think about ? >Do like ? There is no one answer. Preferences differ and worrying about some complex only ever makes things worse. In fact, worries like complexes are very often the real problem.
>I'm shy and afraid of . Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, bit by bit, step by step. You can't rely on some "magic moment" (or activity) to instantly change you.
>I like someone. What do I do? >How can I tell if someone likes me? Ask them out. "Signs" of attraction are basically meaningless.
>Where do I meet people for ? Anywhere outside. Or online. Above all, leave your comfort zone.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean? Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me. We're not in their head, we don't know.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I have a chance? No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date? Pick one or more of the following: lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, froyo, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, gallery, park, .
How can I find out if a guy doesn't want to talk with me because he dislikes me or because he is depressed?
I told him to hmu if he wants to talk but he didn't so I don't think it's a good idea to ask that
If he dislikes you, he'll say it. Until he does (which I doubt he will), you are worrying yourself over a nonexistent problem. At "worst", he just has other things on his mind. Unless you go out of your way to piss him off (on the level of, say, intercepting his mail and writing I LOVE YOU in marker all over his insurance statements), you don't even register enough to warrant conscious feelings on his part. That's not to say he doesn't care about you, merely that he probably isn't actively thinking about you.
Oh I had this same issue but with a girl. It's easy. Don't pussy foot around the subject and tell him that you like him a lot and want to know what's going on with him. Don't ask him to talk, tell him how you feel about him and see how he responds. This will also depend on how comfortable you are with yourself, I mean if you haven't bothered trying to find yourself then I wouldn't endlessly pursue relationships at any cost anyways. It's unhealthy. Just say >I just think you're really cute , and I want to talk sometime. I think it would be fun anyways :p >Idk I like you a lot and I'm concerned about you because you seem distant. Are you alright?
He might not even text back depending on the guy I for one am horrible about answering texts because I get distracted easily and forget about them like even if they're important to me or someone else. In these situations , however, it's best to get a direct answer rather than sit on possibilities so just be direct
I didn't see the last thread was in autosage before I posted
Due to some unfortunate past events, trying to get a gf or laid landed me in a therapist's office earlier this year. I've now to the point where what I probably need is to find some way to make sex not a big deal for me and remove the mystique surrounding it. Are there safe, controlled ways to do that won't put me under the kind if stress which would set off the baggage in my head? Is there a way I can have honest, frank discussions about sex with people who know what they're talking about that don't involve 4chinz?
I have a platonic female friend who keeps telling me about all these guys trying to hit her up and she also keeps talking about how her ex couldn't cum and had a small dick. What the fuck does this mean? Should I be worried?
It means that you shouldn't date her, even if you can.
I'm not into him and he isnt into me. I tried to chat him up but he didn't respond to my snaps and texts so I made it clear i won't be bugging him. Only my friend made a point that he maybe depresed and ignore me because of that?
Of course not, this reeks of red flag. Why is she doing it though? She has girl friends for this shit.
Well if this is unusual behavior you might have to physically visit him and get some answers 1 on 1 if you're legitimately concerned about his mental health. I actually work as an EMT and when someone is in a state of crisis they may retreat into themselves and enter a state of apathy in response. It's fairly common among the more introverted.
Has anything happened to him recently that you know of? Any kind of major stressors which may have caused a suddent shift in behavior?
nothing too bad. His parents got divorced but that happened 2 years ago. He got dumped recently but that wasn't a long relationship and also he has some issues at school but nothing too serious, just poor grades of assignments.
>It's the "misread girls that's just shy/nice as into you" episode >It's the #th rerun No I one I ever like reciprocates. I guess I should just acknowledge some people are just undesirable.
I want to tell a good friend that I have feelings for her... just to be out with it. We’ve gotten really close and I only recently realized I had thing for her. She has a boyfriend but I’m also friends with so I figure I might as well tell her since nothing is going to happen. This a good idea?
I know that feel, too, user.
If it’s happening that often, odds are it’s because they can see that you’re over-eager/desperate as fuck, to the point where you’re not even liking them because you acknowledge them as individuals, but more because you’ll take anything with a pulse that looks your way.
That’s a pretty big ducking turn off.
And if I’ve misread you and you’re *not* the generic Jow Forums forever alone: Streaks of bad meets exist.
True story: Nearly every girl I’ve ever thought I had real potential with, has always shortly after had some major life changing event shortly after we made a connection (I.e. lose a job and have to move, major family crisis, death of a loved one, etc).
Hell, even my girlfriend, she literally lost her job a couple of weeks before our first date, and then a month after we started dating, her uncle died.
All streaks end eventually, just gotta keep at it.
Should I (26) tell my (potential) boyfriend that I never had anyone before him? He asked me about past relationships and just I said I dont want to talk about this (since I was so embarrassed). He looked worried.
Yes. You don't have to bring it up but be truthful about it if he asks.
>If it’s happening that often, odds are it’s because they can see that you’re over-eager/desperate as fuck, to the point where you’re not even liking them because you acknowledge them as individuals, but more because you’ll take anything with a pulse that looks your way.
That's a hefty assumption about someone you know nothing about dude, all I did was just try to get to know her, learn her hobbies things she likes. But then a few things happened that shattered my illusion.
>Parents divorced 2 years ago >Recently dumped by a a whirlwind fling type sitatution >Issues with participation in school Okay so long story short those are definitely redflags for depression or some other kind of general stress. The diagnosis of depression is a lot more complicated and I'd rather not go over the DSM V on it but , to simplify this a bit, it takes some time for the weight of certain sitatuations to hit people. Sometimes it takes a culmination of different stressors to release a "valve" in a person where they may experience extreme amounts of stress altogether. If being introverted and distant from people has never been a behavorial norm then it's likely he is in some distress. Impulsive behavior like dating someone he shouldn't have been for a small amount of time and radically changing his behavior after the failure of this relationship is a strong sign of escapism. People who need escapism are peole are in distress.
If you are concerned about him has a friend , you need to take action by visiting him impromptu (it's important he doesn't really have time to think about prepared answers for hard questions) and talking about why he is being so distant in person. Not as a group intervention either, you yourself need to do this. The goal should be to reach some kind of emotional catharsis where you can show him your ability to empathize with him in person. He might cry, he might get angry, he might be totally distant. What's key here is that someone in his life needs to act as a catalyst for him to reach conclusions about his life he might be resistant to make. Not easy but even if you should fail, the example that you set as a precedent in his life will eventually come to him through this action alone.
I've seen this a lot actually, and it's not an easy process. Please do this, I've been called to enough suicides as is to see the effects of people failing to act around obvious symptoms of serious problems.
Tbh a lot of guys prefer someone inexperienced. At least if you're a woman.
Girls, how long does it usually take before you start having sex with a guy? I mean time of having known him, not dating. If how long you've been dating influences it I'd like to know that too. I want to know what normal girls wait for. And please god don't give me any of that "do things when you're ready" bullshit. I have heard it millions of times, I know everyone is different, but if the majority of people do things a certain way then that's the normal.
My GF and I have done absolutely nothing sexual in the time we've known each other and I don't know if she's capable of it. She refuses to even talk about it and has never made the slightest hint that she's attracted to me. I've been in too many sexless relationships and I'm not fucking having it. I want to feel SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE and DESIRED. Am I crazy for that? Is it really so wrong? Am I a fucking child for wanting physical closeness but poor communication is a totally mature thing? FUCK.
Yes you should be honest. Putting him off like that made it sound like you've ridden the dick carousel.
Besides which your first time needs to be handled with a little care, and he won't know that he needs to do that unless you tell him.
Just checking, but you have tried to make moves yourself right? Even just going for a kiss?
Girls won't really initiate, especially if they're repressed about sex, and it's up to you to make it happen. A girl will spend 3 hours holding your hand but won't even think about kissing you unless you're the one to do it first.
>My GF and I have done absolutely nothing sexual in the time we've known each other >GF
I have some bad news, mate. That's not a gf you have there.
I dont want to talk about this = Ive had countless dicks in me/I was raped
No wonder he was weirded out. Tell him, it's nothing to be ashamed of, as a girl. Its even more special that you are inexperienced, men value purity in women over experience, on average.
Yes, I have. Kissing is the only thing we do. It's not making out either, just a bunch of pecks and shit.
I love this thread.
Last night in the old thread I posted how I was seeing some guy casually and he kept blowing me off. I was drunk and asked if I text him to confront him or just ignore him to keep my dignity.
I got told to ignore. Anyways just wanted to post an update in that it worked so well. I got to be the one that got away rather than a bullet dodged and he keeps texting me his regrets.
>last night >I got told to ignore >I got to be the one that got away You know it's been less than 24 hours, right...? You can't claim it worked if it's a plan of action that needs time to take effect.
>some guy casually >kept blowing me off That's what you get when you see someone casually, moron.
Ladies (and men too), what do you talk about with your partner when there's not really much to talk about? My girlfriend and I have been together for quite a few years, and we're really running out of things to discuss. We have loose mutual interests, but there's not much there to sustain long conversations. She's been very unhappy with it recently and even remarking it's like a stranger is living in her own home. I'm very dumbfounded by this as I feel the complete opposite. Any tips/suggestions?
Do you still do things together, i.e. dates, shared new experiences or something like that? We're both pretty reserved, unchatty people with my bf and when we're at home it gets pretty quiet. But we also regularly do stuff together and go to places and events, so those types of situations always bring up topics to chat about and increase interaction overall. You don't have to force conversation, just create situations where talking comes naturally. Also, if you both are busy people, then just having a "how was your day, dear?" type of conversation over a shared meal everyday or in bed before going to sleep can do wonders for your relationship.
Have you tried taking it further? What happened?
>we're really running out of things to discuss That's the reality and your girl is being clingy.
What do you do when one of you just isn't in the mood?
Do you agree to try again later? Do you throw a hissy fit? Do you/does your partner keep stroking a flacid dick for half an hour until he gets it up?
Open to both genders I guess.
Girls, i canceled an order to send flowers to my ex, would've been the third time. No roses this time, two other times she accepted them, broke down into tears telling me how she "would have huggeme, would have called me" stuff like that
I did good not to send those christmas flowers, right? r-right...?
>Getting out late >Offer to walk girl home >She says sure >Awesome now's the time to learn about her interests >After a brief text I try to talk to her a bit >Goes okay-ish but she doesn't really open up >Ask if she'll be around tomorrow >Says "No....why?" >Didn't feel bad at first, but thinking back it kind of hurts >Friend shows up >Immediately I no longer exist >They lag behind me while talking too low to hear >Feel like an absolute fucking idiot
One day someone I like will like me back, one day.
idk, my boyfriend and I are generally pretty up for it. I guess sometimes whoever's horny will (good-naturedly) pester and tease the other until it happens (which is a lot of fun in itself). Sometimes it's just not a good time (usually because of external factors) so we build anticipation for later. Sometimes we're in the middle of it but one of us just can't get all the way off for various reasons, but we always take care of the other. I don't think there's ever really been a situation where one of us was strictly not in the mood and not open to being won over. The closest I can think of is times when one of us has been sick/injured or preoccupied with unrelated emotions. But that stuff sort of takes priority, so the situation just segues into one taking care of the other. It's hard to stay horny (let alone horny enough for the both of us) when you're non-horny partner is coughing up a lung or upset etc.
*After a brief text she sends
>fucked whore >she asked for my social media shit after >dont have any >she asks me to email her instead >hmm okay
for what purpose
In what country did this happen? Is she a whore that you call? Are you an interesting guy? That has never happened to me, but I only frequent fake massage clinics.
Post 1 music/video that defines your relationship with the opposite gender in general.
Post 1 music/video that defines your relationship with your partner.
If a girl is on the pill, do they still get periods?
I thought it would better than saying nothing, no?
Give your own personal detailed definition on what you think a slut is?
yes, but she may be able to control when.
Why do so many people live in denial now adays?
I was just sitting with some girls at uni, and they were gossiping about some guy one of them was sleeping with. They could tell I was visibly annoyed by their conversation. So they looked at me and one of them said “ohh come on, don’t act you don’t hook up!” i told them I didn’t and the one girl called me out on it and said why wouldn’t you? I said “because I don’t want STDs” and instantly they all gave me this really uncomfortable look.
>In what country did this happen? would rather not say but its a legal brothel > Is she a whore that you call? no its at a brothel but you have the option to contact before >Are you an interesting guy? i dont know we didnt really talk much. but she seemed like she liked the sex
While I agree with you about the std thing, I think you handled it poorly. There's a tactful way to say that, but "I don't want stds" is implying they have stds. True that may be, it's obviously kinda rude to say.
well what should I have said? I was completely honest. I mean, i’d love to hook up with a lot of girls. But i’m a responsable person, and I weigh my actions vs the consequences. As much as i’d like to sleep with a bunch of girls, the risk of getting an STD isn’t worth it
right with you user
Don't worry, you won't have to worry about them talking it around you again. Or being around you again Try not to be such a judge bitch. Judge not lest ye be judged etc Went to college with a guy who didn't drink. Still a cool guy cause he let you do you and didn't be such a downer. What if someone juged your video game addiction, or whatever you do when not ruining the mood?
Well when I've been in that situation, I've just said "I don't think it's worth the risks" and then specified stds as the risks if they asked any further. The difference is minimal, but in my experience even an attempt at politeness goes a long way.
>judge bitch >youre the bad guy for sitting with them and minding your own business. >It’s your fault that they decided to judge you for not hooking up. >it’s your fault that you answered their question when they asked if and when you gave an honest answer.
Wow. Feminism everyone.
do women crave relationships and companionship?
I'm literally a dude who doesn't hook up for the same reasons as you, I just understand that different people like different things. When a friend talks about the new marvel movies I don't say "lol comics are a kid hobby" (same for games) I ask a few polite questions and let the conversation shift. Same for weight lifting or pot or any of the other things that people do that I do not. Is basic human decency beyond you?
Yes but not with you.
they asked me.. how am I in the wrong..? I wouldn’t have said shit, but they immediately judged ME for not hooking up..
are you a male feminist?
Did you see the new Ant-Man? No those movies are for retards and kids. Vs Nope haven't seen it yet
Do you not get the difference? You got defensive and lashed out because you perceived them as judging you
>hey how does this dress make me look? >it's ugly and you look like a fat whore in it. >guys she asked me so how am I in the wrong for saying it?
why is paying for sex (provided youre not supporting an oppressive criminal organization) viewed as worse than paying for therapy?
youre paying for human connection either way
>don’t act like you don’t hook up! >what?? You don’t?? Whyyyy? >”because I don’t want to get STDs”
I didn’t say YOU, or THEM. I said I as in ME. I do not want to get STDs
>but they immediately judged ME I get the feeling there was some malicious intent in your response.
Yeah but that implies they might.
Not sure if it's just one user on multiple threads, but it seems like people think having a hook up means you'll definitely get an STD..
Just use a condom, Christ.
it doesn’t guarantee that you will, but the risks are significant. Condoms also don’t protect from all STDs btw Incase you didn’t know
Look it's clear that social interaction isn't you strong suit, so I'm not gonna harp on this any more, but saying ”because I don’t want to get STDs” is about the least tactful way of saying it. Now if you wanted to be needlessly insulting to them, you have every right to do that, but it was still needlessly insulting.
Are you sure? That sounds like one of those scary stories Christian kids get told.
It's not for me I'm just looking for that special someone U tryna get the pipe?
If you are here for advice, I suggest trying one of those next time If you aren't here for advice but to ree at women and call people who agree with your ideals "a male feminist" then carry on... Alone
it’s not my fault if they get offended over dumb shit.
I used to be in the military and I’ve had people say to me “I wouldn’t join the military because I wouldn’t want to die”. That’s not offense. There is a risk of dying in the military. You know this when you join. How’s that different from hooking up? if you hook up, you know you’re putting yourself at a higher risk of getting STDs
are you sure? because that sounds like something condom manufacturers want you to think so you’ll keep buying their product and having casual sex
It's not the same. One is humbly declaring yourself slightly too cowardly for the military, the other is saying you're not hooking up because people who hook up get STDs in front of people who just said they've hooked up with someone.
If you can't say something nice about something, then don't say anything at all. You don't have the right that everyone should be okay with your opinion, especially when it can be read as >I don't have hook ups because girls that do are slags and will probably infect me with something.
Yes I'm sure. Because unlike overbearing Christian parents, Durex can be sued.
So what is this STD that can perforate condoms despite the bodily fluids carrying it cannot?
>it’s not my fault if they get offended over dumb shit. It's absolutely your fault that you said dumb shit that would obviously offend people.
>condoms don't protect you from all STIs such as herpes, genital warts and syphilis which can be spread from skin-to-skin contact
He could have been on there as well, when that girl insisted that he must have hook-ups he definitely could have flirted with that statement.
>durex can be sued Good luck being suing Durex when they do not advertise “100% effective against all STDs”
what do you think of a guy who has a long pinky fingernail that he paints with fingernail polish
does he come across as a poofter?
Well warts and herpes come from skin contact which is impossible to avoid during sex, regardless of a condom.
That being said, I didn't know condom's weren't 100% effective against syphilis. Still it's easily treatable if you get yourself tested regularly, which again you should be doing anyway if you are having hook-ups.
Nothing that will make your dick fall off in any case.
Yeah they say something like 99%, but anyway plenty of people do have hook-ups and don't get an STD ever. I think it's a bit of hysteria and probably a bit of do goodery to say you will never, ever have a hook-up based on the idea of getting an STD alone.
It's still a perfectly valid reason to not do hookups. That said, user was still a retard for saying it so poorly.
yes but is a random hook up worth going through the pain of dealing with syphilis? When you hook up, you’re consenting that you’re accepting the possibility of getting it. as well as life long diseases. Just because you get tested and know you’re clean in between testing doesn’t mean your random partner does.