Ok ya'll I never fucking ever post but I don't know who to turn to

Ok ya'll I never fucking ever post but I don't know who to turn to.
I've been with my gf for almost 4 years. 2.5 of which we've spent living together. We've traveled the world together and even talked about marriage and kids

We were really passionate in the beginning but I feel like she changed a lot of the shit i liked about her.

Last year I started feeling like she wasn't the one... (just started realizing differences and recurring things i dont like) i didn't want to give up tho. We planned a trip to go back to our home countries and visit our relatives (we both grew up and live in the first world) i wanted to see her roots and her family to see what they were like and maybe find a reason to continue) her family was very sweet and loving but I was just not impressed. We came back, i was noticeably not happy and i think she noticed, so i waited to see if maybe things would change. A month and a bit passed and it's still the same shit. I was gonna call it off then but All these important dates are coming up: my bday, xmas, our anniversary, new years, her bday (in that order, all happen in the span of less than 2 months) i didn't want to be the fucking asshole finishing it before all this shit. And I want to leave it on as much of a positive note as possible. So now I'm getting all these gifts and waiting till after the important dates to call it off.... The question i have: should I do it on the day of her birthday? Or wait a few days later? I'm sure girls don't want a breakup on they're birthday.... But like... The longer I go on waiting to tell her the more crazy I feel... Like I feel like I'm not true to myself faking it till then.... But I don't wanna hurt her a lot because she's really sweet. Fucking help please any general advice would be great thank you

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Bump plz

Any way you do it, itll affect her and you although you might not see it. I hope you realise communication is important, you should talk to her firstly.

Bruh it's been affecting me for over a year. I don't want her investing more time and love in something if I don't feel the same way

Bump- nice no sympathy for a dude who thinks he's worth something lol

>4 years and no kids
Thats your problem biology is telling you "infertile womb swap A.S.A.P."

Talk to her about your problems m8. Sounds like you're not communicating properly.

yeah it's not that moron, it's that you're actually not worth something and are calculating and manipulative to this poor woman who actually (and obviously stupidly) thinks you are something.

I'm calculating because I'm asking for advice? Relax bitch

Ud have kids with someone u knew less than 4 years?

My word i have. I've voiced it many times, somehow it just gets forgotten... We live in a city and both are focused on careers..

Break up with her already, stop being such a lazy asshole.

Lmao the idea is to not look like an ass hole. Her family has been really good to me. Trying to leave on a nice note

No one will be mad if you simply break up. Family will be mad if you hit her, or cheat on her.
Break up now, send her a text saying thet you want to see other people.

Just fucking do it, of you feel this way.. every extra day with her is deceiving her and that’s even worse than breaking with her on her bday..

Let me rephrase realistically what you are doing to her if you would pull this plan through:
1) You get her a lot of gifts
2) She will be happy, because she thinks the gifts are a sign of tides turning after things went downhill for a bit
3) You fake you are still interested to the person you (once) loved
4) Then shortly after her birthday it will turn out to be a huge farce for her, she will notice you lied to her for an extended period of time which will shatter her trust in people in general, and you are giving off the wrong signals instead of being honest with her ...
not to mention you are getting her hopes up.

Sounds like a bad plan to me desu

this desu

OP i'd consider you a worse person if you break up later than break up now.

Also, i kinda feel like you're immature. People seem to lack the realization that the honeymoon phase fades. You will never feel constant love for anyone. You shouldnt try to find someone to love, you should find someone who you enjoy being with most of the time. If you still enjoy similar activities, topics of conversations, or whatever then stay with her imo. The "losing love" shit is a sign of such ridiculous immaturity.

Breaking up is never easy, OP. There's never going to be a perfect time to do it and the more time you spend putting it off the worse it's going to be for both of you.

Ahhhh i dont think it would shatter her trust in ppl..... Plus We're Both mid twenties and gorgeous.... Ive heard her say "you could always find someone else" to ppl having relationship troubles ... Her last relationship went kinda like this. Was with a dude passed honey moon stage (2/3 years) then an abrupt break up..
Then she found me a few weeks later lol

OK what if it's not a losing love thing?What if i just have more life skills than her and am more capable of doing shit? And need someone who can equally do the same amount of work (or as close as possible) it takes to sustain 2 people. Similar activities and having similar topics of conversation are nice but they are not life partner skills. The only times we really connect is when we're talking about our hustles anyway.... When it comes to that I support her to the fucking T. Whenever, wherever, however which way she needs it. When I need help, feels like I gotta fucking beg and remind and nag

BTW thank you very much for taking the time to hear me out ya'll. I haven't shared this with anyone... Literally anyone

Yeah... I feel u.... :(

My nigger that's a tough one.

Have you considered just being absent for the whole period?
Tell her you need a break, she'll know it's coming but won't have to deal with it immediately.

I wouldn't do Christmas etc if it doesn't feel right

Honestly I don't know what I'd do

Nigger this is normal at the 1.5-2 year mark of a serious relationship and I'm sure she's already gone through this same thing herself. The fact that it's taken 4 years says yours has either been really good or the romance was never there to begin with. Relationships take work and love isn't an emotion- it's a choice to put another's wants/needs above your own. A solid relationship has give and take from both sides, and not always equally. Ask those old fucks who've been married and faithful to the same person since the dinosaurs roamed the earth how they've kept together so long and they'll say the passion died a few years in and they haven't boned since the fall of Constantinople, but they care enough about the other person to be happy with what/who they have.
Since the romance is dead talk to her about it and start doing the shit you did to win her over in the first place. Get a small bouquet of flowers delivered to her work. Come home early and have her favorite meal ready to eat when she gets there. Tell her you appreciate her for ___. Don't expect sex- I'd even decline it after doing this stuff so she knows you're being sincere and not just trying to get laid. Have some heart to heart talks about how you're both feeling and how you each feel about the relationship, and don't get mad or offended if she brings up some stuff she doesn't like about you. If nothing changes after a couple of months then you can say you tried and you also won't be destroying her life as a birthday present.

ok, per your second reply, i can agree then.

I get her flowers every other month. I cook for the both of us. I take care of her cat. I haven't expected sex since we got back from our motherland(s) trip... Literally since then I feel like a border line rapist for even trying to fuck as she is always too tired from her work (not a stripper) when we bang its when she wants to.... And that's like once every 1.5 weeks... If she remembers....

Riiiiii???

.... Fuck a short break.... Like the only kinda break I'd consider is like a long one where we can both learn what it takes to be a proper mate and then come back together strong.... But u know how that could get.. Could grow apart etc etc

Thanks :(

I should also note that we're still in the hustling process and haven't yet "made it" in our careers

this happened to me and i couldn't take the fakery any more so i sperged out and broke up with her on our anniversary

feels terrible

we have a non refundable new years trip still planned

I've been with my gf for 5 years. I'm not physically attracted to her so I fuck her in the dark. An user pretty accurately explained that love isn't an emotion, and what you are looking for simply doesn't exist outside of TV and fairy tales. There is no perfect relationship and the romance will always eventually subside to make room for codependency. Your goal in a relationship is to build a family. Buy a house and become stable to raise some kids and be a dad. If you don't want that then stop being in relationships, because after a year with the same girl you should know whether or not it's time to stay forever or move on. You're 4 years in. So either stay and cheat on her every once in a while to get that shit out of your system or leave her and stop getting into relationships because buddy trust me there will always be issues.

>her family was very sweet and loving but I was just not impressed
>Last year I started feeling like she wasn't the one... (just started realizing differences and recurring things i dont like)
Could you be more specific?