>friend invites me to her little sister's birthday party >it's a big celebration in my country when girls reach a certain age >say idk and I'll think about it >she's persistent >end up agreeing to go >find out it's a long trip (would use public transportation) and it's not in the best neighborhood, which makes me nervous >she mentions being really stressed and worried that people won't show up >feel more pressured to go >other friend I was gonna go with ends up canceling >yesterday night, the host tells me she was so upset she almost cried >she also says she would love for me to go but doesn't want me to feel pressured to and understands if it's complicated >I say 'no, I had already said yes' >she sends heart emojis and shit >I really wanna cancel but I would feel so shitty
The party's tonight. Morally, can I still cancel or am I fucked? I'm not sure if that would make me a shitty person.
You've said yes too many times to cancel. I mean it's your friend. She persisted for you to go and you said yes. Your other friend backed out. At this point morally it would be wrong to cancel. Just go have a good time
James Campbell
>Morally, can I still cancel or am I fucked? That depends on which moral philosopher you follow. Cyrenaics dictates that the morally correct path is the thing that brings you the most immediate gratifications, which it sounds like cancelling would do. Epicureanism would advocate that you attend, on the basis that you'd probably get more gratification in the long-term from the goodwill and reputation you built by going. A utilitarian would advocate that you go because, even if it caused you some displeasure, it would probably generate pleasure for a larger number of people. Kant would say that you have to go, as you've made a promise and that's binding. As far as Stirner is concerned, promises are social constructs and a human being with agency shouldn't feel any compulsion to obey a construct.
So basically do whatever you want, someone will justify your decision.
Mason Murphy
At least take a stance here. This ain’t /lit/
Daniel Walker
If your not getting in her panties, why go.
Noah Ortiz
this person would trust you less if you didnt go since you promised. if you dont care about that, then bail. having said that she sounds annoying and high maintenance and if youre not fucking her, then fuck that if its too big a pain in the ass. thats just my opinion and i am an asshole so take with a grain of salt
James Johnson
OP has already decided to cancel, he's using Jow Forums to justify his decision.
Nathaniel Morris
Non surprisingly, OP is a faggot. He should go and he knows it.
Brody Ramirez
>not going to quinceañeras for free booze/food and jailbait putos jotos
Tyler Lopez
Go. It's one night. You have an opportunity to make someone happy. Trust me going will pay dividends with this person. People don't forget those that show up for them.
Landon Nelson
>You've said yes too many times to cancel Exactly what I was afraid of.
>That depends on which moral philosopher you follow Sure, but leaving philosophical masturbation aside, there's a sort of vague, mainstream morality that indicates what would be socially acceptable. That was the kind of thing I was alluding to. Thanks for the interesting answer, though.
>this person would trust you less if you didnt go since you promised I don't know about distrust, but she'd probably dislike me for a while. If I ended up deciding not to go, what if I said I got sick? I actually have the runs, but it's not bad enough to make me have to stay home.
I haven't made a decision yet. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not leaning toward not going, but I honestly made this thread because my judgment becomes clouded when it comes to moral decisions involving me and a potentially hurt loved one. It's hard for me to be objective, because I don't know when it's acceptable to put my own needs and wants before others'. I'm a very agreeable person and I'm trying to become more assertive.
Even if it's extremely far away, pendejo? Trust me, the trip will be a pain.
That was some great encouragement... I guess the only thing worrying me at this point is getting fucking shot or kidnapped. Like I said, it's a place that's dangerous at night, far from where I live.
Matthew Smith
I think op doesn’t want to go party with the cholos and being stuck listening to that shitty music Man up and just drink the tequila for a party celebrating some arbitrary age that is essentially meaningless in our society
Jace Jones
>there's a sort of vague, mainstream morality that indicates what would be socially acceptable. There really isn't though. Mainstream morality is based on social circles: the people who like you will tell you that you were right to cancel if you weren't feeling up to it, the people who dislike you will think you're a shithead for cancelling, and both parties will probably side with you to your face and then talk smack about you behind your back. That's mainstream morality. The only sane action in this world is to choose a moral philosophy and try to stick to it at all times - I myself prefer a version of restricted utilitarianism, and as such I would go because my displeasure would be outweighed by the pleasure extra company would bring to the party-goers. But you gotta do you.
Grayson Young
Your position on the practical implications of moral philosophy seems reasonable, but > I would go because my displeasure would be outweighed by the pleasure extra company would bring to the party-goers How the fuck are you quantifying that? You couldn't possibly know your calculation is right. I know following a moral philosophy as strictly as possible has the advantage of giving you a framework for action that would make it unnecessary for you to create retarded threads like mine, but there's still a danger that your philosophy is wrong in a given specific case, which is what I fear today. My problem is case-by-case moral reasoning, not picking a dictum and following it. I need to know what the best choice is right now.
Gavin Perez
GO......it is really the only good thing to do and I would guess your future with this girl, if any, depends on you going...
Jordan Scott
>How the fuck are you quantifying that? You couldn't possibly know your calculation is right.
>>friend invites me to her little sister's birthday party >>she's persistent >>she mentions being really stressed and worried that people won't show up >>yesterday night, the host tells me she was so upset she almost cried >>she sends heart emojis and shit These seem like fair indicators that my (your) company is desired.
Luis Hall
Go.
Caleb Roberts
Dude when you become an adult you realize you have to do a lot of shit for your wife and kids you really don't want to do like going to a birthday party that sucks...taking your kid to a sucky Disney kids movie.. spending time with your wife and kids and money on them that you really wanted to spend on yourself..this is true love...this is true adulthood...join the adult world and go...
Chase Wright
I'm not romantically interested in her at all. She's just a good friend.
>These seem like fair indicators that my (your) company is desired. But that's not the issue. The question is whether my hypothetical displeasure would be outweighed by the host and the party-goers' hypothetical pleasure. I don't think there's a way to know, or at least to be so sure that you shouldn't even hesitate.
Chase Barnes
That wouldn't make you a shitty/bad person outright but that would be a shitty thing to do. Just think that you'll be a better person if you humor your friend and show up anyways.
Cameron Butler
I like doing stuff that might be really shitty so I can have a story to tell also sounds like she is desperate for attention, go and she might sleep with you
William Evans
oh, when I say shitty I mean things I won't enjoy and could result in a spectacular let down, I recommend going so you could have a story if there is a shootout in the parking lot or something plus like I said you might get a gf out of this
Cameron Mitchell
She lives in the neighborhood and haven't got robbed/shot. Why the hell do you think you will for just one visit?
I think its just your introversion finding out excuses, if you want my humble opinion. I probably even AirBnB'd in worse areas. Just go, nothing bad will happen and you will make someone happy.
Jace Smith
See And I'd rather not get shot. The issue has developed a bit and there's a clear consensus in the thread that I should go, which I'll accept, but now the problem is I don't want to risk my own safety.
I'm overthinking at this point, Jesus fucking Christ.
Alexander Campbell
If you are that worried, have someone on speed dial that knows where you're going and/or just use common sense to stay out of trouble.
Henry Bennett
It's decided then. If I get killed it's on all of you.
