Girlfriend of two years cheated on me last night...

>wall of text
Sounds like she’s genuinely sorry, but at the same time the mention of wanting to be your wife and have kids is a HUGE red flag for being emotionally manipulative. If you decide to move on, be sure to discuss the importance of loyalty and the resulting consequences before wasting two years on someone.

This, if you do continue on, you guys are going to need have a nice, deep discussion about loyalty.

I feel for you dude, but I'm reading your posts in Plankton's voice and it's damn funny

Treat her like shit while you monkey branch to another girl. Make sure she can't pin you for rape or abuse in the meantime and don't fuck her without condoms you know are ok.

OP again

This is pretty much the thought I'm having right now, but it kills me not knowing how far things truly went.
As far as I know, she's never lied to me about anything, big or small.

Yeah the wife 'n kids thing definitely struck me as a red flag in this context. Anyone have more insights about that?

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If you forgive the infedility you fucking deserve what you have coming if she betrays your trust again.

Stop being a little bitch and just end it. You will not build trust after this. Anytime she's not around you're gonna have the image of that dudes cock in your girlfriends fucking mouth.

Be a fucking man, walk away, she doesn't deserve another chance from you.

And honestly, I can't be bothered to read this wall. I stopped when she used the classic drunk girl line "b-but i was missing YOU when i cheated on you". Horse shit. I had an ex use that shit against me and I regret not ending it right there.

Don't be like me, be smart and know your worth. I'm sorry if this comes across offensive or personal, but I want the best for a fellow user. That's my take, take it or leave it.

appreciate the brutal honesty

Ever heard of ka-bar knives? You should buy one. They're so cool, you should get one and show your gf while you're having a conversation with her about loyalty.

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End it. Told my story last night. It never goes away. It will happen again. And even if it doesn’t, you’ll become very bitter over it and it will consume you. Save yourself the future issues. Sorry you’re going through this bro. But don’t be gullible . That wall of text wasn’t fully truthful. Anyone older than college age can tell you that. Protect yourself and move on. It will hurt but it will pass.

OP again

>wall of text wasn't fully truthful
Anything in particular stand out in the wall of text?

I'd really appreciate your thoughts

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DUDE BREAK UP WITH HER SHE CHEATED ON YOU IF SHE CHEATED ONCE SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN DON'T BE A BETA KEK

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Man, it’s too fresh for you to analyze that text the way we can. At the very least you need space from her. Reject her until she either comes completely clean or moves in with her “rapist”.

I’ll be a bit blunt. Her “drunk brain” didn’t make her kiss a dude and pretend it was you. My exwife did something similar and told me she was raped. The FIRST time. And I was inclined to forgive her despite all those pesky demons nipping at my heels.

The truth of it. You’re both in college. She had time to let loose and not care about anything other than what was in front of her nose at the time. I was tempted to stop reading after those first few lines. It wouldn’t be a stretch to assume she wasn’t fully clothed when she woke up.

Based on what she said, and the similarities of my exwife, she feels inclined to tell you the truth, but only partially. Not so much for you, but for her own conscience.

Remember op, being drunk I'd not considered a lawful excuse for driving or motor accidents. Society fully accepts and understand adults should be aware of the effects of intoxicants they consume and that it's not an excuse. Do you want to stay with a person who isn't capable of that

OP here

>Not so much for you, but for her own conscience
I had a phone call with her earlier today (bad idea, i know, regret it already), and it seemed like she was afraid one of her friends would tell me about it first

Am i crazy to see that as a huge red flag?

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I'm inclined to agree with this, because I've had ex's pull the same kind of shit. They'll claim it was just a kiss, but in reality it was way more than that. She might have jacked off the guy while he finger banged her, but was able to tell herself that it wasn't that bad because it wasn't penetration. Then she'll reduce all that down to "just a kiss"....but that's your best case scenario.... You're better off ditching her and just finding a nice whore that's upfront about the fact that she's a whore.

No. This whole thing should be a major red flag. It is to 99% of us reading this thread and we hardly know anything. The more you talk to her, the more you’ll find, and the more it will hurt. If you’re anything like me, the visuals your imagination makes for you while trying to sleep will shake you to your core. Take it as a lesson. Don’t give in to the heart break of a break up. Being together for 2 years doesn’t justify putting yourself through it for decades. I’d rip this band aid off, but it’s easy for me to say because I was in a ten year relationship where this was a constant factor. Now my daughter lives on the other side of the country. I seen her for 16 days total this year. Do not make yourself like me man. If you need someone to talk it up with and get personal I’ll give you my number. Post a throw away email and I’ll send it. Can text or even call. Whatever you need man

OP here with more context

only reason i'm even slightly inclined to believe the "b-but i was missing YOU when i cheated on you" part is because she's generally pretty dependent on me and often falls apart when I'm gone for any amount of time

>i realize this is probably another red flag

>she's generally pretty dependent on me
>i realize this is probably another red flag
You are correct.

Whatever she says in that in fully irrelevant; she cheated on you, and should be dumped, period.

[email protected]
^OP's burner email

Then let her fall apart some more for being a whore

Im late to this one and have read both sides and I will give you my opinion. Personally I think that although she was honest, the problem is she is denying too much. This makes me think she knew more about what she was doing then what she says, however this is just an assumption. Ultimately, I wouldnt forgive her and would end the relationship but she isnt my gf, so its really up to whether or not you can forgive her.
But whatever you decide I feel bad for you OP, Godsend.

Sent

damn why is this so accurate

May take me a minute to reply to any text. Got a truck coming in. Gimme about 15 or so

I do love hearing whatever you say dude, its like everytime I read your trip posted it is either a funny shitpost or something bitter I can laugh at

Okay.
At least I'm entertaining.

Because many modern women are programmed to be selfish from jump. You can deprogram some, but only a handful are actually worth the effort. They’ve been told that selflessness is backward and oppressive. Then they turn 36 and wonder why no one has knocked them up.

If you want to continue you should set some ground rules, like no drinking if she is't willing to make this sacrifice then she's probably not serious.

OP here

I made her agree to stop drinking on our call today
Also that she can't see that guy at all anymore (duh)

keep posting bro

honestly I dont truly believe this, not because it isnt true but because I hold out hope that there is a person for everyone that fits there likings. Sadly this is a childish thought i know but.... a man can dream.

>but I have no fucking clue how to build back the trust I had in her.
You don't. You either accept this as how you're supposed to be treated, or you ditch her. Modern western society offers no recourse here.

>I'll go through the whole story if there's interest
Not that copypasta about the beer pong blowjob again...

The thing to take away from this wall of text is that she's trying to explain why she did it to herself as much as to you. She got caught up in her emotions, did something stupid and wants to justify it after the fact. People's actions and desires don't work in way that arranges itself neatly into a story, it's far more chaotic. The question is if she finds herself in a similar situation is what happened going to repeat itself? It depends how much what just happened scared her, will it be enough to influence future actions?

OP, what you have just experienced is a pretty common test that a lot of people undergo when in a relationship.

90% of people are forced into a corner with something like this, and that same demographic ends up having to bitterly part ways with their lover. However, this does not necessarily mean that you have to as well.

You are the only person who understands this relationships from your own perspective, and so you are the only person who can make the decision to keep on keeping on with this chick or try to let her go and search elsewhere for romantic solace.

I won't tell you which choice is best, but I have ALWAYS taken the route of sticking to my gut through thick and thin, and my gut always provided me with the greatest solace. Maybe not necessarily the most favorable outcomes (at least not in terms of describing it to others) but at least I know in my heart that I did everything I could to make absolutely fucking sue that the relationship would or wouldn't work out for the best.

Nobody can tell you what will happen between you two. You just need to decide whether or not you think she is worth forgiving.

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She is contradicting herself. This is pure bs. Find a better quality individual. A cheater will cheat again and again.

>I had a phone call with her earlier today (bad idea, i know, regret it already), and it seemed like she was afraid one of her friends would tell me about it first
>Am i crazy to see that as a huge red flag?
She decided to come up and tell you so that her friend doesn't have to do it. If her friend did, more details would have given. Just think about it, two drunk people kiss on a bed, dude probably hasn't had any pussy in years. Perfect opportunity for him.

I’m actually pretty optimistic despite how my post sounds. The idea that there is someone for everyone is mostly true, but quality and longevity of the relationship depends entirely on how selfish both parties are.

OP again

where's she contradicting herself?
>I'm probably just dumb as a rock right now and can't see it

My gut and my heart say I should try to mend it, but my head is saying that it won't be possible.

Any more details that would be helpful for me to share?

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>>I'm probably just dumb as a rock right now and can't see it
Naah It is still fresh and you don't see it. Give it few weeks and read this again.
>that kid started pressuring me...
>I initiated the kiss...

Nothing you provide me with in terms of details will change what I said.

Either shit or get off the pot. It's as simple as that. Keep it rolling until things get better/worse, or end it now and search for something else.

As of this moment, both answers are completely valid. What matters is that you choose the path that you can safely say is the one that you will not regret.

Couple years ago my girlfriend "was being a good friend" to another dude. I honestly don't know if anything happened. The first time we talked she had told me she didn't think much of the guy's behavior, but later told me her friends had said to her that she was into him.

Some nights I regret breaking up (there were other reasons) and other nights I think it was the biggest mistake of my life (im mid20s, haven't been in a real relationship since).

Honestly, I might let it slide and ask she gets tested (rape kit or STIs, what have you). Getting drunk and kissing someone isn't the absolute end of the world, but it isn't amazing of her either.

There was this other girl I dated for 8 months and we would never have sex sober, she'd let other guy friends get weird and kind of handsy, she'd talk about her ex a lot (I was the rebound). She broke up with me, but the difference between her and the former was she was way more of a shitty person/mess in general.

If you think she's worth it, or if it was a one off mistake then I say stay in it. If it happens again, drop her. good luck op, i feel 4 u rn

>that kid started pressuring me...
>I initiated the kiss...
>but I still want to get married and have kids...

**he was into her

Id be gone. There’s no coming back from that.

Even from simply an objective point of view it shows a very clear view of her character. She is untrustworthy.

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Bump

I cant believe some people still give white women a chance in 2019-1

Other races are way more slutty though. And it doesn't even matter anymore, in this current society, guys are desperate enough to settle for used up sluts.

Don't listen to other anons. You should forgive her and move on. If she cheats on you again, talk with her and try to find a reason if you really love her. We all make mistakes. She will probably cheat on you again but stand your ground and show her love. Be her everything and learn to forgive. Thats how you will make it. Best luck to you 2 love birds!

The exact same thing happened to me in November. It sucks. She was the best girl I've ever had. But as soon as she did it I mourned her in front of her, because for me - she died, and whoever is there now is a terrible person that I don't want to associate with.

I've been cheated on twice before that time, and I've been left for another guy once, so I know what you have to do, then again I knew from the very first time it happened, I'm just getting better at letting go at earlier stages, before I get cheated on even worse. at least I'd like to think so.
So take it from me pal, never talk to her again, she's dead. My girl did the exact same thing, drunk at a student meeting in University, fucked a guy over night stayed at his house, said it was the alcohol, said he pushed her, asked me for a second chance, cried for two days straight, but I didn't believe her for a moment, she lied about things and I had to milk information out of her, I swear to you that your girl did what she did knowingly, and she did much more than kiss him, she fucked him too. My girl even gave him a peck in the morning and exchanged phone numbers saying that he was pressuring her. I'm sure they had sex again when morning came around. Liars, weasles, losers and cheaters. Stay away from absolute degenerate scum of the Earth. Be glad that you now get to live on and move to better people. It's actually today, December 16th, a month ago at night she cheated. And here I am I'm okay, haven't looked at anything related to her since, just two or three not very proud angry faps at her nudes that end with me murmuring something about a "cheating whore" right after I cum. Because I can't look at her as a person no more. When sexual arousal is out of the question - she's simply a dirty cheater and she will suffer. See you man good luck

break up and move on bro. cheaters aren't keepers and staying with her won't go well (talking from experience) godspeed my man

Stop being a cuck and dump her skanky ass. She will continue to fuck around on you. You dont have a future with her unless you want to be cheated on and just ignore it

> been drunk around other men besides my husband a few times. Had a guy try to grope me, punched him in the face and broke my hand...
Not all girls are whores, some say no even if drinking this girl wanted another d that's all there is to it

listen OP,
you're a faggot who wants to think nothing happened and you will find a reason to forgive her.
So it doesn't matter what we say.

For real tho, you must break up, but as I said you're a faggot.

Are you a whore or a cuck?

>Best luck to you 2 love birds!

A whore it is

>Girlfriend of two years cheated on me last night.
I want to stay with her and work towards forgiveness
HAHAHHAAHAHAA

How about a "troll" ? You ever heard of those?

what a cuck I hope you either
1) die in a fire
2) kill the roastie

Oh boy, the main reason she was with this guy is she was imagining he was you. Fuck now thats a new one for me

>she was afraid one of her friends would tell me about it first
if you want to know how slutty she was with this guy last night you need to talk to the friend. Do not give your gf's version first. You say you know something happened and then you shut up and let the friend give you the truth, not that goddamn lie you got from your gf

Bottom line, she was interested in this guy and knew he would be there and you out of town provided her an opportunity to be alone with him and she took it. Her drunkenness made her think she was invisible and when she sobered up a little thought of all the people at the party that saw what she did.

Read all your depressing post OP and been there just like every man has. You'll ignore this one and in a week or two or month or two it will happen again and she won't give a shit and all your trying and boohooing and talking it through will be for nothing. She'll leave you.

"...and missed you so much that my drunk brain wanted someone to kiss once..."

Run in the opposite direction. Look at that roastie distancing herself from her OWN BRAIN! This is something she wrote SOBER, apparently? Holy cuck, batman.

>my drunk brain wanted...
>that kid started pressuring me...
>i was scared of him...
>i drank more...
>[conveniently forgets everything that happens after this point]
>i woke up in the bed of the guy I was scared of...
>i feel horrible...mental breakdown... (don't be too hard on me!)
>i'm telling you, so you should forgive me, right?
>i don't THINK i was sexually assaulted...

This roastie is the type who'd convince herself she was raped. If you stay with he, at some point she might accuse you of domestic violence or rape.

all this proves is she is capable of justifying any behavior but for you OP its not a very high bar.

girls know men do not want to believe the absolute worst happened, their ego cannot handle it and goes into protect mode, so any excuse will usually get the job done. she's rambling and throwing all kinds of shit against the was for something to stick. seems to be working though

i doubt she would cry rape or accuse OP of anything other than stupidity. even if OP walked in on her giving this guy a blow job she'd convince him she was practicing on him so she could please OP with better head.

If you stay, she will resent you for not being man enough for leaving her. She might even do it again to make you leave.
Women don't want to be the one who breaks up or starts a relationship. You are boring and she hates you already, why the fuck would you stay?

She's lying, she fucked him obviouly. Break up and never look back. Once a cheater always a cheater. Godspeed user

"You will probably be really mad and confused..."
No fucking shit and way more than that if it was me. This makes you seem like a very timid guy. If my girl did this she would know that I would be way more than "probably mad".
Seems like she knows you will forgive her, but if you are the kind of guy I think you are, this will be something that haunts you all of your life. On your wedding day and when she's giving birth too.

Also, why the fuck didn't she call you? Maybe she was afraid that you could sense her story not making complete sense, so she spend a good amount of time writing this shit. Probably with a girlfriend guiding her.

Seems sketch, ones a cheater always a cheater.
You can find someone better, without a doubt.

She said she initiated it + if a chick doesn't want to kiss you she doesn't

OP here again

Damn you're spot on with your description of me.
I'm generally super calm unless I'm blackout drunk + mad.

Also it seems like a red flag that the messages are so calculated and try to minimize her own fault.

>distancing herself from her OWN BRAIN!
Yeah, I really don't like that she's treating herself and her brain as separate entities.

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>staying with someone who cheated on you
>especially as a man
You desperately need a spine. That’s pathetic. Dump that slut and work on yourself, then make a better decision on who you choose to be with

End it. And do your best to ignore her afterwards so you won't get pissed or sad when she magically ends up in another strangers bed 1 month later, because that will happen.
Better that than her hooking up with them behind your back if you do decide to forgive her.

>woke up an hour later fully clothed on his bed
There's a lot suspicious about this particular line

>I missed you so much I kissed another dude
Fucking women. Do they honestly think their shit don't stink?

OP is back with a brain dump of my thoughts

Reasons to let it slide:
> I love her and fear that I will regret breaking up with her
> she agreed to stop drinking until we get shit sorted out
> I don’t have any proof that she’s ever straight-up lied to me about anything.
That being said, she definitely has no issue with omitting information when it’s convenient for her.

Reasons to GTFO because of this:
>She has lied by omission before
>She knew that the guy had strong feelings for her
>She put herself in a situation where she’d be drunk with him
>She proceeded to initiate kissing with him
>After that, she drank more
>I still don’t know the full story of what happened
>She used being blackout drunk as an excuse
>She didn’t call me or leave a voicemail, and instead left two very calculated messages
>When we talked about it on the phone, she was generally unwilling to talk about the details of what happened
>She said on that same call that she was afraid of her friends telling me first
>I get the feeling that she told me entirely because^
>it seems like she assumes that I’ll just live with it and forgive her

additional reasons to bail
>she’s emotionally dependent on me (to an uncomfortable extent)
>sometimes uses me as an emotional punching bag
>gets mad at me over mundane things
>I get the feeling that she can be emotionally manipulative
>is generally selfish in bed
>her friends (the one’s she partied with) are generally trash human beings and cheaters
>have the feeling that she sometimes uses me for money and a convenient place to crash

Looking at this list, it looks like my choice is pretty clear. Even in the best case scenario that she’s telling the truth, it seems like I have more than enough reason to bail.

Fuck me fellas, I’m really gonna miss her.

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>Non-white women
>Better than this
Wew.

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>generally pretty dependent on male attention
Ftfy, and you will never be the only one giving it to her.

>the only way to continue this relationship

>that kid started pressuring me...
>I initiated the kiss...
>but I still want to get married and have kids...
>she was afraid one of her friends would tell me about it first
>In his bed, fully clothed

How serious is this relationship, and how old are you?

Seems like she takes it pretty seriously, but has bad judgement regarding alcohol. If there's a chance she'll grow out of that, then maybe this will never happen again.

OP here

We both have taken it pretty seriously, but I don't trust her judgement of people she associates with. Honestly, I'm more concerned with how she's portraying these events while sober than whatever actually happened when she was drunk.

Also, we're both only 21

You are young. You will get over this, OP, and you will find a better partner who won't cheat on you. Cut all contact.

user buddy i wish you well
I know is though but having the spine to say no to this bs will pay off in the future

You're a good person just for giving her so much thought, and like you said it yourself and everyone has been pointing out she doesn't seems truly sorry for what happened

You'll make it user

Hey OP, I see a lot of these types of “significant other cheated while drunk at a party” threads on here, and I’m just curious as to why you didn’t go to the party with her? Is she more of a partied than you, or does she even invite you at all? In my own experience, I’ve done very stupid things while drunk at parties that I never would’ve done sober. I’m not trying to put the blame on you or excuse her terrible behavior, but I think that binge drinking implies the acceptance of potential regrettable behavior. And I’ve noticed that couples that go drinking together are essentially watching out for each other, and so their presence reduces the possibility of cheating. Again, it’s not your fault for not going with her but I think for future gfs, you should try to go to social events with them, or find a girl who doesn’t like to party more than you.

Srsly man
>some guy has a crush on her
>hangs out with him
>goes drinking with him
It's like choosing to walk on a ridge. Then when eventually falling off the ridge going "oh how could this happend". People make mistakes, you do, I do. The smart thing to do would be to not even start walking on the ridge aka hanging out with people who want to get in your pants. It's not that big of a surprise as she paints it

If I were your friend I would have told you you could have at least supervised her when she was drunk. But I don’t know the full story, I would say by your age you should see how she is as a person and think if she’s a keeper at the point, but you should forgive her, and see if stuff like this continues.

Forgive her

The way she talks about missing you to save her when she was drunk sounds like she doesn’t or can’t trust herself or, she was really desperate for you to be there. So I don’t think she was cheating on you. Maybe get a test unless it’s to late?