Guys this shit is eating me alive rn please help me out
So me and my gf go to uni, but to different ones. We talk to each other everyday and we both know whats going on. She met some friends there and this one guy this whole thread is going to be about.
The train connection is really shitty here so she arrived about an hour earlier befor her classes started. So did this guy and they spend that time together, alone. This happened maybe three times a week for over two weeks. I told her that Im not ok with it and that she has to stop it and also that she has to tell him that she has a boyfriend (she usually cant because she isnt allowed to have a bf). After two days she told me that she was in the train with him and I went apeshit afterwards. She also didnt tell him that she has a boyfriend. We had a fight going on because of this for a few days. I told her that Im jealous but I didnt give her any restrictions anymore. However this guy texted her exactly what was my problem with my gf. This guys gf didnt want him to talk to other girls so they stopped talking and seeing each other at uni.
Since then she seems fucking obsessed with him. She mentions him in almost every conversation, looked up his insta and so on.
Btw Ive made a smiliar thread once so you may know this already. But what Im asking is: am I insane or is this a red flag. Honestly Ive thought about breaking up because I cant handle this relationship at this point. Whats your thoughts?
Seems like this relationship is stressful to you which probably means its not worth it, but before you pull the trigger on the relationship talk to her about it try to connect to her explain that this is really bugging you she might change her behavior. Hopefully she not doing it on purpose to ignite some alpha male reaction from you.
Anthony Hall
Its a red flag imo but also im crazy jello too sooo But it depends also how much YOU trust HER. You must have a reason to not trust her with some dude on a train. Whats the reason and see if its valid and if it is then i would say
She is looking him up because she wants to know more about him (so there is def interest ) But is she texting him/ talking to.him and for her to not bringing u up as the bf because of your reasoning you mentioned above is Bs desu
Xavier Carter
The fact that she is talking to you about him means one of two things: 1. She does like him, but she is socially retarded and dumb that she mentions him to her bf. 2. She has absolutely no feelings towards him, that's why she feels comfortable talking to you, her bf, about him.
You decide for yourself which one. But one advice from me is to stop showing how insecure you are. Be confident in yourself and your girl will get the feeling that you are better than him, because well, you do believe you're better than him.
You can tell her that the fact that he stopped talking to you because his gf asked him shows that you're right. And that she was supposed to stop talking to him. Tell her that she is an adult and should know how to behave.
Noah Thomas
The problem is I know its going to cause a huge drama. Talking to her is impossible. Dont get me wrong I love her but shes terrible when it comes to arguments. Would be easier to quit it fast and quick. Also what do you mean by your last sentence. Care to elaborate?
Colton Campbell
What? You don't endal a relationship because some incident is making him worry. This actually shows that he likes her a lot.
Isaac Hall
Another red flag, if she cant talk stuff out with you id cut it In order for a good relationship transparency and being open for discussion is a need
Blake Morris
So if she decided to follow him home or take his phone number/insta in this case you wouldn't break up if it escalates to that Stop it at the root before it grows into something worse
Josiah Torres
>is this a red flag The fact that your gf brings him up during conversations is a red flag. There will be people saying "hur hur she is allowed to have male friend and you are a beta male for getting mad." Try searching for a replacement as shit might hit the fan anytime soon.
Jaxson Ramirez
How is that the same? A girl would do that if she wants to do something with trh guy. But talking to a friend between classes and between train rides is different. Jeez and I thought I was insecure..
Logan Martin
But she doesn't stop bothering OP with the mention of the guy, if she respected OP she would stop doing it. Even if OP loved the girl with all his heart she might not.
Isaiah Myers
I dont know how much I trust her. Ive known her as a friend for half a decade but weve been a couple for only a few months. I trusted her with everything while being friends. So I did trust her a lot but what happened with that guy broke that trust.
I cant decide desu. Ive talked to a friend about this and he said that im stupid because she obviously loves me. But I dont know really. Yes I know. At first I made the mistake of showing my insecurities. But the problem is that shit happened a few weeks ago and if I mention this again wont this be a sign of my insecurity?
Julian Watson
Yes thats sadly the case. I feel like she doesnt even care about my feelings in this case. I do love her guys so breaking up is going to destroy me. But I dont know if Im emotionally stable enough for a relationship like this right now.
Well yeah this ones true
I dont have a problem with her having male friends. Thats not the point. Its about how she reacts about this specific incident.
Grayson Watson
Some girls like it when you fight for them so hopefully she isn't like that or you'll have to start getting loud, But seriously try to talk I don't see any other way unless you just ignore it, which I don't think you'll want to do anyways.
Colton Garcia
She has his insta tho :/ one thing is a hey what up htu thing and thats it but she got him on insta she wants something more/ the guy made a move
Oliver Lopez
With this type of girl unless you agree or just literally scream there is no end to it
Imo not worth it
Ayden Lee
I tried to ignore it but she keeps doing it again and again. Thats why I cant do it anymore
They dont follow each other or text each other. I have full acces to her phone thats why I saw that she searched for his insta
Andrew Gonzalez
Then its fair to break up it's not like you didn't try, shes not reasonable and not willing to make simple sacrifices.
Cooper Rogers
Try to show some confidence, you should be able to express your concerns to her. If she doesn't care about your feelings - move on. That being said, you have no evidence they've done anything together, so you've no reason to do anything rash.
Juan Diaz
It might be too late to reverse this, but showing as much concern as you did signals to her that you feel threatened by this guy which makes you seem insecure and not confident. When my gf mentions a guy and talks about him I usually say that he sounds pretty cool and then shift the topic away from him. By acknowledging that he seems cool or nice or whatever you show that you don't feel threatened. The same goes for not wanting to talk about him for too long. It signals that you have bigger concerns and again, that you don't see him as a threat to your relationship. This shows confidence which is a very attractive trait as you know. Since you're already so deep into this it won't seem genuine. Seems like it really stresses you out so I would consider moving on
Joshua Wood
lol you sound so petty and insecure, im sorry for anyone who has to put up with you. i hope she breaks up with you instead of deciding to live under your reign also im sorry for your sorry ass. youre gonna keep being miserable.
