I am really worried about sex. I don't remember when was the last time I made my gf cum. She gives me bjs almost everyday and we have sex a few times a week. It's been months since the last time I've seen her cum. I've tried to make her touch herself while she is sucking me but she says it distracts her and it doesn't feel that good anyway. I am not that great at sex (I have to keep stopping or I'll cum too fast) and I always cum way before she does or right before she is about to. She seems to be frustrated about it and spends a lot of time in the bathroom. Yeah she is probably fapping and I feel horrible as a man. What can I do? I am worried she is not satisfied at all. I am usually too tired to finger her too and we don't have toys I could use with her either. What are my options?
GF doesn't cum with me
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Don't let her touch your penis until you've satisfied her first. She's supposed to cum first.
Be open with her
You might need to have this conversation even tho it’s hard
Seems like bait
buy fucking toys the yah dimwit
also have conversations with her about what gets her off learn her fantasies desires fetishes ect
ITT Hey guys im a fucktard whod rather ask incels betas and douchebags about my interpersonal relationships instead of actually talking to said person
people like you are scum and dont deserve nice things
eat that puss like there's no tomorrow
>What can I do?
>I am not that great at sex
Maybe not with your dong. But believe it or not, other things are more important. Like how to use your tongue.
You're probably ever going to get her to orgasm just by thrusting. You need to get her clit in on the action.
Like other anons have said, you need to try oral, fingering, and/or toys. Before buying toys I suggest you figure out what kind of stimulation works best. Is her clit sensitive? Not? Does she prefer direct or indirect stimulation? Does she like it gentle or rough?
I'd read up on this and other guides to oral: ohjoysextoy.com
It's also definitely better to make her cum first, since guys tend to become disinterested in sex after orgasm. besides, if she orgasms first, her body is sensitive and primed and sex will feel better. You'll also have a better chance at making her orgasm again, too.
As for toys, I recommend stuff by Lelo. Their toys are very well made. The Womanizer is also a little miracle worker if she likes direct clitoral stimulation (get the more recent model if you can afford it). The Hitachi or the Doxy are powerful and will probably get the job done. CHoose a toy based on what you've found out she prefers.
Also, when it comes to making her orgasm, don't try to force it. Instead, focus on pleasuring her and have fun. Putting pressure on her to orgasm will actually make it harder for her to, so instead just try to play around and find out what she likes the best. It'll happen with time and practice. Be communicative, ask her what she likes, have her move you and direct you.
OP here, thank you anons. I think she does like oral but I suck and it makes me feel nervous to do so. She never asks for it so I think it's been more than a year since the lat time I did it for her. I have never been able to make her cum with my fingers (on her clit, it gets too intense for her) but she can do it on her own. Maybe I am being too rough? Also, we have talked about our fantasies and she used to be into double penetration (a fucking threesome) but she is "not into it anymore" because she has me. I do think it's bs and she wants the double D but I offered to buy a strap dildo or whatever that is for her (she was pretty happy about it). I think she is also into gang bangs but wtf can I do about it. She likes to be dominated but we already do that sometimes.
Use your fingers you fucking tard. Google how to finger a girl
If your fingers are too rough then you should definitely use your tongue.
You might suck at it now but the only way to get better is to practice! Start slow.
And you can always use toys. if she likes to be dominated, you could always get one of those dildo gags for her mouth, and then use a toy or your hands in her vagina while you lick her clit. Maybe even get an anal toy in there for maximum penetration.
OP, you both really just need to be more communicative. ASK her what she wants. Encourage her to be open, too. Say that you want to make her orgasm and are willing to put in the work but she also needs to be honest about what she likes and what she wants.
If she's sensitive, let me also suggest rubbing her clit either through the clitoral hood, or through the mons pubis itself. It diffuses the sensation enough that it doesn't overwhelm sensitive clits.
Always get her to cum first, and 9/10 times she isn't going to cum with just you being in her. It's all about rubbing the clit, really.
OP. I do try to do that but she keeps closing her legs because it's too much. She tried to teach me how to touch her but I have no fucking idea. I know she won't cum with me just fucking her... What is the best toy I could get? I feel like I'd get insecure if a dildo can make her feel better than I do
My clit is pretty sensitive so here's my suggestion.
Put your fingers on her clit, and don't rub. Instead, gently "tap" by applying a little bit of pressure over and over, without ever lifting your finger off. You can also change the angle. The point is to provide a little rhythmic pressure, without any friction. It might work better for her.
no OP, but is the correct way to finger to sort of make a 'J' hook with the fingers and tap directly up inside the vagina?
I wouldn't call it tapping for fingering. It's classically described as a "come hither" motion, curling your fingers and then straightening the to stroke. You can also make your fingers and wrist pretty solid and use your arm to thrust.
Keep in mind that not everybody has a sensitive G-spot. Your mileage may vary.
You probably fuck too fast because that's all they ever show in porn.
>I've tried to make her touch herself while she is sucking me
>I am usually too tired to finger her
Kek. You fucking suck, dude.
T A L K T O H E R
C O M M U N I C A T E
>What do you like? What makes you cum? What do you prefer? What does nothing for you?
Don't ask us, ask HER.
>Too tired to finger her
There's your fucking problem mate. You're saying you're too tired to pay attention to her. No wonder she's pissed about it. Maybe focus on her for once instead of making her focus on you all the time.
yeah i usually do the come hither motion but i saw this video of a guy holding a fingering seminar teaching the "J" hook method. The video seemed legit but i'd be surprised if it was.
it varies usually? one of my exes was really good in bed and sometimes i would fuck her slow and sometimes hard and fast. i remember one day we were fucking non stop, and i was fucking her really fast and she came hard, but only because there was such an intense build up and i was listening to her cues.
desu i think its highly dependant on the woman. I do like rough ass sex though
Well, I can also see it working just fine. It depends. Some prefer stroking, some prefer pressure. Keep the J hook technique in mind and try it out, see which one gets the best results.
Do the ABC with your tongue on her clit, It will get her off.
Fucked many women. Now I'm married.
Let me give you some sage advice. Stop worrying about whether the woman cums. It's really not a big deal. And if they really want to orgasm they'll tell u what they want.
For many women their joy comes from making the guy cum. They don't even care that much if they get off
You sound like a fun guy in bed...
idk about you but its satisfying as fuck when i can make a girl cum hard, its like "fuck yes i just tore that pussy up quiver under my presence and take the nut"
Op again. I might try the tapping thing, never tried it before. Yeah I am constantly tired and it does take a lot of my energy to make her cum. I guess I've been lazy about it. Do you think cumming matters that much to women? I mean as a dealbreaker. Being totally honest here and something I kinda regret, I didn't start caring about her cumming until she started spending so much time in the bathroom for no reason. One day I saw she had the incognito mode on her browser but there was no porn. Should I worry about it? I know it's different for chicks, they have the need to cum like we do. I keep saying that I have talked to her about this but she "doesn't have any fantasies". I don't remember it so well but I believe she said she doesn't like to ask for these things because it makes her feel bad to be "demanding". How am I supposed to know when she wants to be fingered, for god's sake.
>They don't have the need to cum like we do, that's what I meant to say.
>I believe she said she doesn't like to ask for these things because it makes her feel bad to be "demanding".
Yeah well that part is on her. I have the same issue with you as far as cumming too soon, but I know how to play to my strengths and make sure a girl cums regardless. Once I dated a girl who was particularly difficult to make cum and she would sort of make it evident that she was frustrated especially as she seemed to enjoy long and hard fuck sessions like from porn and this was the one area I failed to measure up in. When I attempted to discuss it with her and get to the bottom of things she wouldn't talk about it and said she didn't like talking about sex so in detail, so at that point it was her fault. I notice you suggested she touch herself while going down and you and that is a pretty good suggestion but she doesn't seem to like the idea.
As far as you being too tired that's all on you though. Each time you have sex you should be dedicating like 15 to 30 minutes to foreplay (for your standard Tuesday night affair, go longer if things are more serious). Look up guides on how to eat pussy and learn how to play your role in sex: you're the man, you're strong, you're in charge, she's in your hands, treat her well, become the sexy Freudian father figure she needs.
most women who fuck with guys they have a crush on work like this, then they meet one who actually make them come and dudebro above becomes single again
OP. I think that is partially my fault though, I have complained before (fucking joke) about how tired I was to make her cum and how 'demanding' she was for doing so. Whatever, I don't know what to do about that. Foreplay doesn't last for more than 5 minutes for us even though she does more for me sometimes, around 15 min?
When you start to kiss and get involved take her into your bedroom. Tell her you want to give her a massage. Now you, as in - you - undress her. Lay her on your bed face down and massage her slowly from her feet to her scalp. Go slowly. When you pass her thighs hint at going deeper between her legs but don't. Be liberal with her buttocks though. Then complete the massage. Be very thorough and be very slow. Include her back, shoulders, neck and scalp/head. Turn her over and massage her body but this doesn't need to be as thorough, spend some time on her boobs but move on. Bring her to the edge of the bed and get down on your knees and massage her pussy. With your forefinger and thumb you can gently take her labia on either side. Apply small amounts of pressure. Lube up your thumb and rub her clit. Rub the clit with the hood down. Then eat her out. Long wide strokes fucking enjoy it man for god sake. Eat her pussy there's nothing better. Stick your tongue inside. Pull back the hood and lick her clit, suck it gently into your mouth. Roll her onto her stomach and eat her ass while you finger her from behind. I promise you this will take you well past the 5 minute mark. Take control lad. Be a man. Get dirty with her.
can confirm, the sex with the right guy is like a drug. I force myself to ignore the humiliation of showing up at his house unannounced, pretending it is for some stupid reason when he knows why I'm there with pleading eyes wanting to come in.
Woman here.
It seems like she's really putting in effort, and I can see you want to put in the effort but you don't know how yet.
1. Stop jerking off. Take a break from porn. Look at pictures of your girl if you must, but save your sex drive for her. The death grip is a killer for relationships.
2. Buy a Hitachi and use it on her (if she likes this; ask first). If she doesn't, learn how to finger her and communicate. Ask her what she likes and how she enjoys being touched before you slip your dick in her.
3. FOREPLAY. Use foreplay on her. Use it as often as you can. This will make her wetter, and the sex will last much longer when you add more time into foreplay.
Remember that men and women are like Ying and Yang. Men like to slip it in and pound hard. Women prefer lots of foreplay and longer duration. You need an equal balance of both elements to make it perfect.
I have never fucked woman that did not enjoy herself when I just went full caveman mode and fucked her senseless.
Not a single one.
OP here. It's hard for me to get into 'caveman' mode. I have to think about what I am doing, I rarely let myself go. She is my type and turns me on a lot but I've always been the quiet and calm type of guy, I don't let my emotions control me. She is so passionate though, so emotional and so easily overwhelmed by lust. It's so sexy and that's just the way she is, always full of energy and love. I can't be the same way and I don't think I'll ever be. All I can hope for is that she doesn't look for a BBC one day. I will try to give her more foreplay though, I am not so sure about licking her... I just wish I had more energy, I bet it would be better. Any tips?
The fuck is it with you and your low energy? I don't get it.
Something is wrong about your attitude or lifestyle because it's simply natural to tap onto your energy reserves during enjoyable activities like these. If you're not genuinely having fun then you're doing it wrong.
It sounds like you need medical attention if your energy is really that low. A sex session shouldn't be enough to tire you out unless you have some sort of condition.
Also assume that she would prefer to orgasm. Sex is there to make people feel good, and orgasm is the culmination of feeling good. You don't have to make her orgasm every time but at the very least you should try. Give her the same effort she has been giving you, otherwise you're being unfair.
>I am usually too tired to finger her
The fuck?
Yeah, what the hell. Surely sex is more tiring than fingering. OP, you sound like you're rationalizing.
What this whole thread tells me, is that you don't really seem to care about pleasuring your GF all that much OP.
"I am too tired to finger her" what the fuck are you talking about?
You can't even put that absolutely minuscule amount of effort in?
Yeah, you don't seem to care for her pleasure much at all then.
You just want to stroke your own ego, but suck too much at having sex that is pleasurable to both of you, while refusing to do anything to please her solely (which should actually give you pleasure in turn).
Fuck off OP, you are a whiny cunt and I hope your girl leaves you for a better man.