Treatment

seriously, you gotta give us more than that.

It involves a number of personal details that could otherwise be used to identify me. Audial hallucinations and paranoid delusions generally. Visual hallucinations if it gets really bad. In addition to the derealization, which seems to be present more often than not now.

Right now I’m about two weeks out from the end of what I can only identify as a manic phase that lasted about a week and really made me feel as though my life was improving. The sudden return to norm and worse coincides with some drama in my personal life. I could feel things declining physically before the drama happened, fatigue and a sensitivity in my eyes; I don’t think it was responsible the mania ending, but as result of the coincidental timing is strongly present in intrusive thoughts that beat me into a depressed state.

So I feel like I’m watching my life through an HTC Vive, I feel like I’m swimming in molasses, my eyes tear up easily and can’t focus on objects like they’re full of gunk, I can’t stop thinking about this shit going on in my life, and my obsession with it is most certainly going to make my reaction to it particularly maladjusted. It doesn’t help that it’s uncannily similar to a totally unrelated event that happened to me in high school that led to a similar state. The first major decline, actually.

So there’s your dirt on the situation, I hope it’s entertaining.

I need advice on the logistical aspects of seeking treatment, given the circumstances. I’m not going to will myself into this just to have it be inaccessible, I need strangers on the internet to share their experience with me.

either go to the hospital or learn to keep ur shit under control

cuz if u fugg up and get in trouble with the law ur gonna wish u had just gone to the hospital in the first place. also desu theyre probably just gonna give you some meds and send you on your way--MAYBE they would hold you for a few days just to make sure the meds are working

I need guidance on how to do so. Again, logistically.
how am I supposed to not get fired
how am I going to pay for it
how am I going to keep my animals fed

My friend, if you at all suffer schizophrenia pr any related disorder it is MUCH, MUCH better to deal with it now in a professional, medical setting than it is to wait. As someone who grew up with a mom who suffers from bi polar, schizophrenia, and a host of other issues the outlook for waiting is not pretty. At best you become a broken shadow of your former self, capable of handling a basic and humble life, with irreparable personality and IQ changes. At worst, you become almost permanently disassociated and in near constant state of catatonia (though this state is escapable with regular medication and therapy).

My mother is a sweet older woman who grew up in a time before these things were truly recognized and not outright reviled. She and her family misunderstood everything about her initial downward spiral. She picked up drugs as a coping mechanism. They figured she was becoming an irresponsible, self destructive hedonist rather than someone suffering from an awful disease she didnt understand. This finally came to a head later in her life when she was properly diagnosed, but by then many of the changes were already permanent and debilitating.

So please, go and get yourself properly treated now while you are still lucid, aware and young. And whatever you do, NEVER self medicate or even think about using recreational drugs. That will exacerbate and cripple you further.

...

desu when i was your age i was so out of my face on drink and drugs i wasnt aware of 'mental health' or what it even was. this whole mental health awareness and epidemic didnt exist years ago

Well I'm not sure what your exact issues with your parents are, but I am sure unless they hate you they do not want to see you suffer with such a disease. So talk to them first, be open and honest about your issues with them. And realize that perhaps many of the issues you did have with them were exacerbated by the mental illness you are suffering? Your views of them may be colored by your I'll perspective. As for not getting fired, they cannot do that as that is discrimination and grounds for a lawsuit. Besides your medical history is private and personal. Your employer has no legal right to know if a diagnosis exists. And even then, if they do they can make arrangements for you, to better function in the company.

As for keeping your animals fed, you should be able to just fine. If you are in fact medically diagnosed, they won't just take you away in a straight jacket (unless you prove you are an active harm to yourself/others). You will be prescribed medication, and also given therapy sessions to go to on a weekly basis. Now if it's a money issue here, again talk to your parents since you are already on their insurance.

my poor relationship with them feels more like a cause than an effect.
As for work, I'm not concerned about being found out, but the possibility of missing work.
I live in a rural area and commute to a suburb for work, finding regular treatment in a reasonable driving distance seems impossible.

desu I'm a homeowner and department manager in my occupation. people my age can go fuck themselves with their made up OCD, ADHD, and perpetual child bullshit. I agree wholeheartedly.

Sounds like you need to
>get excercise
>eat well
>get out more
>talk to your parents to get your feelings out

Sounds like you're kind of sitting and stewing which isn't helping your mental state. And its probably reversible if you haven't had these symptoms before.

It's been ongoing for about 6 years now.
I don't do gym exercise but I'm very active in my work and free time and would consider my diet to be pretty good.
Admittedly I rarely get out, and don't have a relationship with my parents where I am comfortable to discuss anything of a personal matter, nor have I ever.
I've become independent despite the increasing struggles and am fearful that the inconveniences, for lack of better term, of treatment may pose a more immediate threat to my independence than my condition. It's something that I feel I understand fairly well and would be far worse off if I didn't. Nonetheless it's getting to the point where I feel clinical treatment may need to become a part of my life. My dilemma lies in the details as to how this can be done.

>hallucinations
>psychosis
>depression
>mania
nah dude you don't need no clinical treatment, just remember to b yourself :^)

I'm pretty explicitly asking for advice on HOW to get treatment, not IF. You're preaching to the choir here.

If I were you I'd drop all other plans and GET FUCKING DIAGNOSED. You can't search for advice if you can't even precisely name/describe your condition. Mental health often hangs by a thread.
>have a lot of responsibilities that can't be put on hold like work and pets
hmmm tough choice... pets and work or keeping your brains together.. what's it gonna be OP ?

How

however be sure to keep it as private as possible, people avoid the 'insane' like the plague (sometimes rightfully so, you can possibly be out of control at any time).
bottom line, the longer you keep delaying diagnosis and treatment, the more you endanger your sanity; you never know when you won't be able to fully recover

christ just search 'mental illness diagnosis' on google

that's not a clinical diagnosis. Google can't write me a prescription. If you're suggesting that I try and identify a condition, I already have. Manic Depression, Psychotic Depression, Schizoaffective disorder, etc. All different names for similar spectrum conditions that there's no use in trying to pick from because I'm not a psychiatrist and it won't accomplish anything.

Which is the objective of my post. I need advice on how to go about seeking treatment privately. Everything else that has been discussed thus far is semantics.
What do I do. If I pick up my phone right now, who do I call and how do I pay them?

Hi OP, i'm going to do my best to try and help you.

First, you need to get ahold of your health insurance card so that you can get insurance to cover whatever costs might ensue for your treatment

Next, you should probably google psychiatrists in your area who accept your insurance plan. Find one in your area and call, clarify they accept your insurance, then book an appointment. Find a well rated psychiatrist if you can, preferably one who has experience treating patients with your symptoms. This is not a requirement but obviously would be beneficial.

Tell the psychiatrist EVERYTHING, including any questions you might have and symptoms you are suffering from and how it is affecting your work and personal life. Ask for help and he will give it if he knows, if not he will point you in the right direction most likely.

Your psychiatrist will be able to diagnose you/follow up with a plan of action for your treatment, that would be the first path to go down and should lead you in the right direction.

Let me know if you have any questions

what this guy says; I wasn't telling you to sort out some conditions from google by yourself, I was referring to finding a clinic/psychiatrist that can help you

what about insomnia, OP ?

I appreciate the informative reply. How much information does the insurance company relay to the policyholder? This really isn't something that I can have known by my father whose name is on the policy through his work. He has an HSA for copay expenses, but using it would make it obvious that I'm out doing something with his insurance. I can't get my own insurance for another year until open enrollment at work, and I doubt it'll be sufficient to cover this kind of treatment.

Not really. When things are acting up it becomes harder to get to sleep at a reasonable time and it ends up fucking with my schedule the following day, but I'm capable of getting at least 7hrs of sleep naturally if given the oppurtunity. I don't think that comes close to qualifying as insomnia.

If you are very concerned about your father finding out, you can pay out of pocket for the appointment, and the cost will vary depending on the doctor's office.

It is advisable to use insurance though, and if i'm not mistaken you can contact your insurance company and ask them not to relay any health information to the policy holder and only relay it to you.

There are also forms you fill out at the doctors office that you can specify who has access to your medical records, and you can specify that you do not want your father or anyone in your family to be able to request or access that information.

I'm not exactly sure how much information (or what kind of) information is relayed to the policyholder since I have never had to worry about my privacy in such a way.

You should definitely give your insurance company a call though and find out your options.

just ask for a copy of the terms of the policy

This is helpful. I'm stuck in limbo for at least a few weeks though, his HCP is changing for the new year so I'll have to wait for that to switch before I can start making moves.

What should I expect from a psychiatrist's appointment? Especially going in with this sort of stuff going on while not being totally out of my head about it? I have no reason to lie to anonymous strangers on the internet, but I assume a psychiatrist deals with all kinds of people who may be inclined to make things up; and hearing about these things from someone like myself who's fairly put together despite what's going on may look like a load of horse shit.
It's not like I'm going to be dragging myself into the office all disheveled and unhinged. Am I going to be taken seriously in the age of attention hungry faggot zoomers? I hate the social climate around this stuff. It's like reverse stigma to coddle people who want to be ill.

Do you have another method of contact where I could properly explain this OP? Kik perhaps or Skype? I understand that with your concern for privacy this might be an issue, but I’d like to be able to guide you through this process.

Unfortunately not, nor would I feel inclined to use them in this instance out of privacy concerns despite how much I appreciate your input.

Give me a minute then, I’ll attempt to respond to all your questions once I finish up some work I’m doing

understood

Ok, I’m back. Here’s what you can expect:

Psychiatrists deal with all sorts of individuals of varying degrees of mental instability. Regardless of whether people make things up or not, it is the psychiatrists job to listen to what you say, not be naturally skeptical of what you tell him. The odds of this happening are very low, psychiatrists for the most part understand there is a reason you sought treatment and your story will no doubt convince him of that.

Any good psychiatrist will take you seriously. You can expect him to sit you down, and ask what your reason for being there is. At which point you tell him everything like I said. He will ask questions about other things for his records, past medications, tell me more, etc. so he can formulate a plan of action with you.

Best of luck with this user, not sure if you’re into Myers Briggs as much as I am but I am an ENFP and always found ENTJs very interesting as I have always felt somewhat out of place among ENFPs as I don’t feel like a stereotypical one and often see myself more comfortably using my Extroverted Thinking function.

Regardless of all of this, I can’t stand to see anyone suffer and I’m glad to be able to provide you with the help you need. If you have any further questions please ask, I will be here for as long as you need it.

What would a plan of action include?
A big concern of mine is hospitalization for any period of time. I'm not presently suicidal and have never had intentions to harm anyone. I feel disinclined to talk about more severe aspects of the situation if it means that I risk involuntary hospitalization, or having an action plan geared around motivating me to seek hospitalization.

As long as the psychiatrist can determine you aren’t a potential harm to yourself or others, you won’t be baker acted.

That only happens in the most extreme cases (I.e. you literally word for word tell the doctor you are suicidal or want to hurt people). You will not be hospitalized.

Your plan of action will likely include a discussion of treatment options and ways to manage it, as well as a discussion of medication options and potential side effects and costs of those medications.

Also, I’m no doctor or anything, but if I were you, I would cut out dairy and gluten from your diet. Just as a hunch. I suffered from depression for years until I found out I had non celiac gluten sensitivity which effects many people and can exacerbate mental disorders. There are also studies that confirm that removing gluten from the diet of bipolar patients caused an easing of their symptoms. The reason I mention dairy also is because it is molercularly similar to gluten and the body can react the same way to it.

I would recommend avoiding all substances (caffeine, alcohol, etc.) and eat as clean as possible (whole, home cooked foods, no gluten, dairy, or processed foods) to see if your symptoms get any better.

This should provide you with some relief hopefully until it comes time to make the appointment

That's interesting, celiac disease and intolerance to dairy runs in my extended family on one side. It puts me in a tough position, I am a restaurant chef. The quality of food I have access to at work and home is generally of high quality with lots of fresh produce.

How much freedom do I have withing a plan of action? I am not eager to jump into any medication. I've heard patients can be dropped from psychiatrists and therapists for a refusal to cooperate with plans, though generally on grounds of being unmotivated or lying about their part of the treatment.

If that is the case about celiac disease and dairy intolerance, I would most definitely experiment and investigate that further. That is most definitely a red flag. I nearly cured my depression entirely once I eliminated gluten and dairy and my family had a history of it as well.

If you are not eager to jump into medication, no doubt the psychiatrist will discuss other options. If you are really seeking some alternative answer, perhaps seek out a holistic psychiatrist. This may be a little out there, but they generally focus on curing things without the use of strong meds, a path which I fervently agree with.

More personal anecdote here, but in my own personal opinion I do not think medication is the right path. Nonetheless, I think seeing a psychiatrist is still the right choice for you. I haven’t ever been offered medication by a psychiatrist because I was never diagnosed for anything when I went, but based on my own experiences entirely here is what worked for my depression in particular: eliminating gluten, dairy, weed, alcohol, processed foods. Combine that with either meditation or consumption of psyilocybin mushrooms (I’m not sure about it’s effects on bipolar or anything, so be cautious and do your own research, but their effects on my depression were too astonishingly and profoundly healing for me not to mention it)

The psychiatrist you see will no doubt work with you either way. If he is lazy and tries to throw medication in your face, try different options, but I personally would not settle on medications in the long term.

In the short term, I would consider it if you are at a breaking point in your life and need immediate relief, but then again chasing short term desires would really not truly solve the problem. I do not have enough experience on your array of mental conditions to accurately make any statements beyond this.

I almost solely credit the level of self-awareness I have of my condition to Psilocybin mushrooms. Unfortunately it's not enough to work out what I can infer are the more physical, neurological aspects of what's going on.
Despite my objections to medication, I fear that they're going to end up as the only legitimate option left for lack of alternatives or as result of an eventual decline in my health.

To be totally honest I fear that there's a point where the finality of the situation will make itself clear. I'll see how far treatment can take me and likely reach the end of its effectiveness and get to stare down what my life ends up looking like. At which point I'll no longer have the excuse of waiting to see if I can improve to justify not just killing myself. Then, I'll have no qualms with doing so. Feels like a waste of effort to have everything I've worked so hard for be outweighed by the fact it's not worth going on. Hence my hesitance to seek treatment. How much emotional pollution can I clear up before something just short circuits again? How much will I have to sacrifice for just that much?

I don't really want to see how much better I can get, because I probably won't like the answer. But what other option do I have?

Damnit OP I don’t like hearing you talk such negative things. I believe there is hope for you and it is entirely too early to give up all hope that your life will turn out for the better.

I truly wish that we could continue speaking, so that perhaps we may share more about our lives and experiences with each other and frankly I hope to guide you through this endeavor and encourage you to maybe see things in a brighter light.

Maybe create a throwaway Kik that cannot be tracked back to you, whatever it takes. If you’re comfortable, message me @ jumbojet556

If that still doesn’t tickle your fancy, best of luck OP. I wish you the absolute best of luck in all your endeavors. It was a pleasure talking to you tonight, and I hope you find some solace. Wherever it may be.

Thank you, I appreciate your advice greatly

Yeah and people didn't know vitamins existed a century ago. I bet that's just made up nonsense too, right?