As a male, how do you deal with fear of intimacy and sex?

youtube.com/watch?v=mBjaYVKgV_w

No, it's more like I fear developing long lasting relationships. My family is the best example I guess. I don't really know who they are as people.

I guess that when you imagine a person you'd be in a relationship with to act like your parents, am I right?

I guess you expect that person to behave like them*

like they do*
(sry, It's been a long day for me)

Try taking a journey with psychedelics. I tried at the start of this year and it is the best experience I have ever had. I was dealing with a lot of things at the time, I decide to do and I found a lot of things out about myself. Maybe you might find somethings out as well, worth a shot...

I guess, I'm most comfortable around three people in my life. My mom, my best friend, and my brother, in that order. They've been the most consistent people for the last 6 years.

So maybe let's try another approach

What do you want?

To not need anyone else.

I’m scared of girls for the most part. I can talk to girls but only if it’s in a professional context. I’ve had girls try to flirt with me before and as soon as I notice it i distance myself.

I’m 28 btw

So you want to be alone?

Same. It's strange, but as soon as a girl shows a bit of interest in me i have the urge to run away and alwas seek for an argument to get the hell out.

Nobody has touched on the fear of sex yet? Where would it stem from? I started watching hardcore pornography and masturbating at 7. That's the only thing I can think of.

Then I guess you'll die sad alone. Miss me with this faggot excuse
>what do I do about diabetes?
>go to a doctor and get insulin
>what if you're too poor for meds?
Go fuck yourself, get over your pussy fear or mistrust or whatever bullshit you have of medical professionals and fix your fucking health. Yeah, in America privatized healthcare is a shitshow but they are generally very helpful about ensuring that you can get access to care and pay for it without destroying your life. Find a local therapist and ask about paint options if you really are as poor as you say you are and not just being an obstinate cunt when it comes to medicine.

>Nobody has touched on the fear of sex yet?
Sex is just the highest form of intimacy
Porn is probably the root of this problem. I've hardly had any sex dreams in my life, I have had many porn dreams though. I would get a semi just firing up the private browsing. That's pretty fucked up and no doubt messed up my brain wiring.

If drugs are illegal porn should be too.

Yes
Yes exactly. I don’t like when girls look at me in a flirtatious sense

Porn really has fucked up my view of relationships. It's a difficult to break since I've been masturbating to it from so young. Masturbating so young has also fucked me up, I don't want my small penis to be seen by anyone but me.

I’ve had 1 gf before. But for some reason I’m legit afraid of girls. Sometimes when in public girls will approach me and try to talk to me. But I always get scared and walk off

When I was with my gf, I got Jow Forums and she showed me how to dress well and stuff. I think I’m suffering the consequences of that now. I hate when people give me attention

if only there would be a way to experience them legally.

How did u get gf

why would anyone fear intimacy or sex?

only reason I would fear sex with a person is if they had aids or blah, but in that case, I wouldn't have sex with them.

I don’t really know how it happened. I just met a cute girl and we were just normal friend and then we started dating. It’s odd that I just allowed her into my space like that. I don’t know how I did it because I sure as shit can’t do that now

Because sex is intimidating

So you actually have to be friends with the girl first?

The answer to most fears is to let yourself become the thing that terrifys you to some extent, tempering that thing with what you know is right and wrong

I suppose. That’s what happened. I had known her for 3 months before we decided to date.

how is sex intimidating?

stupid advice by a white person.

you feel fear? you haven't lived racism.

Women's expectations

>Telling whites they haven't lived racism
>2018
Sorry nigga hut if he's from europe or america there's a big chance he has.

You've clearly followed that stupid advice.
You're in that same tribal mentality you see in white people.

why would you want your parents in a relationship with you? that sounds like a nightmare.

what you actually want is money

what fear of sex do you have then, you consume pornography without fear?

> sad
> alone

can only pick one

I haven't had a dream in more than a decade.

small penis humiliation fetish

you already had a girlfriend? then you should already know.

> illegal

what do they expect that you are afraid of?

you haven't lived racism, which is why you are incapable of making sense of it.

what advice was followed?

"eat a bowl of shit, it cleans your insides" = advice that I haven't followed?

describe my mentality more

I fear having sex in real life.

why

because another person is touching my dick. And then putting my dick inside of their body. and their face is close to mine

Yeah I’ve had a gf, but I’m still afraid of other girls. I don’t like when girls look at me. I want to be a ghost

so what?

you don't want them, get away from them?

why are you afraid of girls?

do you like when boys look at you?

>why are you afraid of girls?
I don’t like when they talk to me. Sometimes girls approach me. Why would they do this? What do they want? It’s weird. They are strangers
>do you like when boys look at you?
I’m not gay.

describe yourself

>>do you like when boys look at you?
>I’m not gay.

had nothing to do with sex or gay?

"who do you like looking at you?"

I don't know what it's supposed to be like. I honestly have more problems that contribute to it. But summed up, I guess it really is fear.

it sounds like stupid, not fear.

want to feel fear? go and threaten a crackhead.

>describe yourself
Uh.. brown hair, blue eyes, otter mode dude. Late twenties. I dress simple but well (well fit jeans, long sleeve button down shirts). I pursue my goals.

>who do you like looking at you?
Uh I dont know. I’d prefer nobody look at me. However, if a guy talks to me it’s because he has a reason to, or I know them or something. But if a girl approaches me, she doesn’t have a reason to talk to me. So she has specific intentions which make me uncomfortable

Ok, I'll belittle your problems too. Thanks for adv.

some white guy "pursues goals"; you do have money and citizenship for example.

>you haven't lived racism, which is why you are incapable of making sense of it.

>You haven't lived a wealthy life, which is why you are incapable of making sense of it.

I actually have lived racism, but that's beside the point. You're the racist here.

eat my shit, make my problem of how to dispose too much of my feces be little.

What does that even mean?

you haven't lived racism.

> you haven't lived racism
> you haven't lived a wealthy life

>>>why are you afraid of girls?

>>Why would they do this? What do they want? It’s weird. They are strangers

> some white guy "pursues goals"; you do have money and citizenship for example.

By having no girl in life, duh...

You're a fucking racist. This is your mentality. You, at least, perceived racism around you, then reflected that back.
By the way, I'm currently trying to help a little 9 year old white kid from my neighborhood. His father hanged himself recently, and the kid won't say a word to anyone. Do you think he doesn't know fear?

Youre saying they are after my money and citizenship? That sounds retarded. These girls probably have money too. This is a wealthy area. They are citizens too.

Stupid

blahblahblah some never lived racism person talking.

before you molest that 9 year old do them a favor and give them money as well as less white people.

they father hang themself? tell me about they mother

you live in a wealthy area and the girls all paper shmos of your blah wherever?

What?

what didn't make sense that you need more information?

Large amounts of alcohol.
I unironically become insanely alpha when I am on the verge of black out drunkenness.
I lose all my inhibitions but keep all my charm.
I have had chicks begging for my dick for weeks after my drunk self fucked them into ecstasy.
I wish I could be that guy, when I am completely sober, I am way to afraid to even make a move.
When I turn my brain off, I can become a different person, a better person.

How do you get over this?

I have this same problem OP.

I'm an incel and am desperate to have relationships and sex but cannot, no matter how hard I try, make a move on a girl, even if she's practically begging for it.

I once spent an entire night spooning with a girl in her bed while she continuously took off more and more of her clothes and was caressing every part of my body, and I sat there terrified unable to even do so much as kiss her. Because I was scared that maybe she didn't really want it, or that I would try to make a move and would do it wrong due to having zero experience. She never spoke to me again after that and I'll never forget the look of sadness on her face when I last saw her.

Then there were the several times at clubs where girls were grinding on me and cuddling up to me and I just did nothing. I desperately wanted to make a move, but I'm TERRIFIED of doing it wrong or reading the situation wrong.

I dont know what im supposed to do. I cant overcome my fear no matter how hard I try. I basically need a girl to rape me, because I'm too timid to do anything myself.

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alcohol is garbage.

loser talking alpha blah.

turning off your brain makes you a better person? you have a shit brain.

when you are completely sober you are also more able to drive a car aren't you with your lack of move fear all of a sudden.

how do you "get over" what? not wanting some person? make a fantasy that works, like them being hit by a car dead their father paying you money to fuck their wife correctly give them a child they supposed to have but you just get some other group of people to gangbang then murder them all you eating something delicious with the money in another continent.

haha reminds me of a story.
>2009
>county fair weekend
>whole town is filled with parties and people from other towns
>not invited to one as usual
>decide to walk through town and just walk into one
>do so
>see some people from highschool there
>hang with them
>wasn't bullied or anything
>a pair of really hot girls from the next town over is with our group
>drunk
>by far the hottest girl in the party, in the middle of the conversation, stares at me
>"I'd have sex with you, you know!"
>my jaw drops
>her friend's jaw drops
>don't have sex
kek. I eventually lost my virginity the next year but damn that one really hurt me for a while. Now that I think about it there have been a few cases like that. Oh well. Don't give up my man.

Kill yourself nigger

the fuck are you talking about?

give me a way to die that is painless quick and affordable.

don't bother with these suggestions: drugs, hanging, jumping, guns, chemicals, tanks, ...

your problem?

I remember something just like that happening to me TWICE
>be at party many years ago
>be virgin
>a bunch of us sitting at a table, I’m standjng off to the side
>all of us our drunk
>people talking about random things
>I remember hearing a girl I know say “I’d fuck user tonight (me)”
>she looks right at me and gives me a grin
>I spill my spaghetti and leave

another time
>at party
>still be virgin
>girl I know from school is really drunk
>comes up to me
>I say “hey Madison! How are you?”
>she says “hahah me? I’m horny”
>she steps right into my personal space and gives me this HUGE ear to ear smile
>I spill my spaghetti and just stand there and say “ohhh”.
>I freak out and say she should get another beer and she says “oh yeah you’re right! I didn’t realize this cup was empty Hhahaha” and walks off

>be me
>last month
>make tinder account
>match cute girl
>chat on tinder for like a month
>after a month she tells me
>”user, I have to ask.. what are you here for?”
>I say I don’t know
>she says to me “well look. I’m going to be upfront. You seem like a really cool guy. We have a lot in common and you just seem chill. I’m just looking for a FwB thing because I’m too busy with my career. You seem perfect for this. I don’t know what you’re doing tonight, but if you’re interested in this, we could meet up tonight, get some snack and chill and fuck at my place.”
>FREAK OUT
>start shaking
>don’t even know how to reply
>delete chat
>block her
>delete tinder

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I can't believe that's true.
I just can't.
For the sake of my own sanity.

What's hard to believe about that? You're in a thread for people who fear intimacy and sex.

Many of us had these missed opportunities.
I have had some, that I will probably regret for the rest of my life.
Even now, this shit keeps happening to me. Often I realize only much later, other times I am WAY too much of a PUSSY to do anything.
Even with all the improvement I have done all the strides I have made within such a short period of time, it just sometimes feels like I will never get rid of that inner sperg, that the most I can achieve are some superficial or temporary improvements.
I sometimes think I might just be fucked in the core and will NEVER be normal.
Should I come to terms with that?

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Yeah, but that's too much.
That is too much for even me.
And I am a BIG failure, believe you me.

Just read this article that seems relevant.

>theoutline.com/post/6808/ask-a-fuck-up-not-ready-to-date?zd=1&zi=qjw6am4d

>If I had to guess, I’d say this allusion to an inability to maintain meaningful relationships means you have hurt people before, and you either feel genuine guilt about it or you are uncomfortable with the experience of being told you caused someone pain. I’m glad you are uncovering some of the root causes behind that but let me suggest one you may not have previously considered: you are a bit of a coward. That’s fine, most people are, and this is a particularly insidious and easy-to-mistake form of cowardice that thinks itself courage.

>When you are terribly afraid of being held responsible for the emotional well-being of others, it feels very mature and responsible to decide that you should “work on yourself.”

>This is especially true for those too-clever-by-half motherfuckers who think that nobly warning someone in advance they “are working on their issues” mitigates any way in which they might disappoint or harm. And even with the best of intentions, it obviates the fact that relationships themselves are a process of being made ready, not something you come to static and fully formed.

>I can understand the urge, especially now as things get inexorably worse, to slow down; to pull inward and take stock and focus on ourselves. But I would ask whose interests are typically served by enclosure? By the sort of emotional austerity that says you do not have the resources to devote to others?

By getting random boners

Not exactly what it is, but thanks anyway. Pretty sure it's more to do with an inferiority complex to ALL people, not just women.

Huh, i can somewhat relate because i see guys who're in relationship or having sex more manly because of taking responsibility and having confidence in leading girls. As for me, i cant take responsibility when it involves me and other person, i just cant live with consequences.
t. 26 khv.

I get the same thing. I just think I'm not good enough for a relationship. I keep thinking to myself, "Maybe once I fix X, Y, and Z about myself I'll be ready for a relationship. Until then I'd better not even try it." The article just made me think how much of that is just me making excuses because I'm scared of disappointing someone? Everyone brings good and bad stuff to a relationship, why do I think I have to be the exception? Maybe it's just easier to pretend that I can't do it because I don't want to do the work of supporting someone else because I'm too preoccupied with my own stuff. You don't have to be perfect to yourself to be good for someone else.

I don't think white people around you are racist.

I think you're just a cunt.

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never got one.

Therapy is the answer.

I had/have the same fear of intimacy. I had a mental breakdown. I came from an abusive family. Therapy helps you recognise when what you're feeling is coming from a bad place and helps you slowly to build normal relationships.

Good luck OP

Are you me?

Yo, you need to chill. I don't know what OP's situation is, but there is a significant portion of the working class that are barely scraping by with enough money to pay rent and feed themselves. It is in no way unreasonable to believe someone might have trouble affording healthcare.

BASED AF, i do the same

Women are scary, frightening really. Maybe thats why im into femdom

>Miss me with

Nigger detected. Your slang sucks.

> person doesn't want us

white people:
> if I had to guess,
> must be a problem with
> them hurting people
> and so they feel guilty

white people are devils, so if you will succeed with erection they will just put garbage everywhere until the smell forces you to definitely not be aroused at any time.

you haven't lived any racism.

therapy is a white people trap to paper lies about your brain for usage in enslaving you or making your life more difficult, you know, the same as any other time where white people find out you start being successful and you are non white.

white person:
1> I have fear of intimacy
2> I had mental breakdown
3> I have abusive family

which one do you think it is moron

women aren't scary, there is one big racist sexist white supremacist gang that is in charge and you have no freedom.

I feel ya, OP, I realized like 5 years back I have a poor understanding other other peoples personal space, but instead of invading it I distance myself physically from people often, this likely ruined a chance I had with a girl I was interested in back then. It dawned on me when explaining it to some one that this physical distance is what likely caused her to end up ghosting me because I got nervewrecked trying to understand if she was flirting with me or not when WE WERE ALONE TOGETHER IN A BEDROOM sort of shit. I got no advice though cept for maybe just admit to it in a non-spergy way if you're in a pinch situation, hopefully an understanding person will get you and help you ease into this sorta stuff

Even though it's unlikely - I hope that one day you'll realize how hopelessly unintelligent you are.

just tell me how I incorrect

I don't care about my "intelligence"

Weird thing is, I'm SUPER dominant when I actually manage to get so far as to actually fuck a girl. I have been described on more than one occasion as "wild animal".
But before we are literally naked in bed bumping uglies, I am almost physically unable to even slightly touch a girl, I'm so scared and inhibited.

what are you scared of