I'm in love with my best friend. She is my ideal for a woman in every way - looks, personality, interests, mannerisms, everything. We talk on the phone once or twice a week, at least for an hour each time and sometimes up to six. We also go to the movies together a few times per month.
She knows about my feelings, and that I have never felt this way about anyone else, but likes me only as a friend. I don't want to constantly burden her with my feelings, so I only confess to her every Valentine's Day. I've done so every time since 2010 (when we were both 16) and have been turned down every time.
It's only two months until Valentine's Day, and I'm thinking about putting an end to the tradition because it hurts so much whenever she turns me down. It feels like I'm dying. But at the same time, if I give up, my chances of winning her heart become zero. What do I do?
>What do I do? Stop. What you're doing is unhealthy and inappropriate. Just stop.
>I only confess to her every Valentine's Day. I've done so every time since 2010 (when we were both 16) and have been turned down every time. Holy cringe
holy shit that's sad. have you at least been seeing other girls in the meantime?
You are bothering her with your unrequited feelings. But in all honesty, bitch deserves it for encouraging your orbiting.
A couple of dates here and there, but no relationships.
this, OP. the first time she said no should have been the last time you ever confessed. don't tell her this year and watch her come looking for you.
>and watch her come looking for you. Why are you giving him false hope? Its unlikely that she will suddenly change her mind..op should honestly just move on
>encouraging orbiting they're best friends what was she suposed to do just say "fuck nah let's never hang out again so i can avoid dragging your feelings through the dirt" lol. that would be harsh. you should really try to find another girl op it's detrimental to your emotional health to be stuck on this one person who wont reciprocate your feelings in the span of YEARRRSSS.
i mean, he shouldn't have any hope after nearly a decade of rejection. and yet, here we are.
Perpetuating a friendship that you know is one sided and not reciprocated just so that you can consistently cross boundaries that the other party has specifically asked you not to cross is inappropriate. Its totally unfair to her and its unhealthy for you. You've effectively put your entire romantic life on hold for the past 8 years because you can't wrap your mind around the concept that she doesn't want you. You're stunted. You can't move on with your life. This entire thing is fucked up for the both of you and you absolutely, 100% didn't need me to tell you that.
>my chances of winning become 0. They've been 0 for a long time buddy, good luck on breaking out of this damaging behaviour.
1. She's never asked me not to confess to her 2. My friendship is sincere. I love her romantically, but I also love her as a friend. I'm not just hanging around her in the hopes she changes her mind; she's been my best friend since elementary school, and I will always love spending time with her even if she never loves me in a boyfriend way.
To elaborate a bit more, though it hurts whenever she turns me down, that only lasts for a few days. The other 360 days of the year, I generally love just being her best friend.
Sounds like you're deluding yourself, bud
Not saying I've NEVER cried myself to sleep, but I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've done so.
Boi just give up, she likes you as a friend only Confessing every year and expecting her to change to yes I'd selfish and creepy, she shouldn't be alone with you
>everyone shits on OP >nobody criticizes the girl for treating him like a boyfriend with multiple dates per month and fucking six hour long phone conversations
Shouldn't be alone with her? What? We've only had the mild spats here and there typical of best friends. I'm not obsessed and I have never resented her for the lack of reciprocation, not even for a moment.
>so I only confess to her every Valentine's Day. I've done so every time since 2010 (when we were both 16) and have been turned down every time.
Your chances are already 0 %. Have osme self respect and walk away.
Yelling at a girl that will never read this thread is pointless. OP is here, and he needs to drag himself out of this hole.
I assume she's had bfs in the meantime. Doesn't that make you feel awkward?
Why would we criticize someone that he can't control and who won't ever read this thread? Does that not seem like a waste of time to you or are you more interested in shit talking women than trying to help the actual, physical person who is here asking for advice?
She's actually never dated. Tons of guys are in love with her, but she only likes them as friends. She's only had romantic feelings for one person, but he didn't return them.
If you had to make this thread you clearly aren't happy that you're just friends. You enjoy her company and friendship, but deep down want something more. If you're really fine just being friends you need to accept it deep down, don't say anything during valentines. If you really want her you need to tell her, and cut contact if she isn't interested back. Maybe she'll realize she misses you and will accept your terms of the relationship but don't hold your breath. It will suck losing a love interest and long time friend, but you need to be honest with yourself OP.
Why do you think I should cut contact, user? Our friendship generally doesn't cause me pain. I loved her as a friend for close to 10 years before feelings developed, after all.
can you give me her number, OP ?
Do it one last time for some closure and give up afterwards.
She's charming, affectionate, beautiful, deep, has an amazing body and the most adorable voice. You might find it hard to forget her if you fall for her. Most people in love with her have been infatuated for years and years.
that's why I'm asking also post a pic in the meantime
I'm saying pick a side. You either accept that she's your friend forever (don't say anything during valentines) or you persue her as a lover (if she rejects, move on). Make up your mind.
Is she Swedish
She's half white and half Puerto Rican.
>confess to her
you stop doing that to girls if you ever want to be with one you hear me
Not OP, but girls have confessed to me before (both for relationships and marriage), so shouldn't the reverse be okay? The ball has to get rolling somehow.
Girls confessed to me and I was immediately grossed out and ran as far as I could from them even if I was a kissless virgin. Confessing to someone is a sign that they're not emotionally balanced or mature, it for sure means that they're clingy and posessive and insecure and it's just red flags all around.
Confessions are for serial killers and child molesters, if you like someone just god damn ask them out don't make a big thing out of it by throwing all your wet feelings on them and expecting them to take care of it for you.
You mean to say getting together with someone is not like my anime?
I don't get why people are so meanspirited and judgmental over such meaningless things as this.
So why are you interested in her, user? Do you have a thing for girls who lead men on like she does with cuck OP?
how can you be this spot on
>half white and half Puerto Rican >mutt into the trash she goes
confessing to someone is not meaningless it's supposed to be a big emotional moment, the person doing it certainly thinks it's sweet and romantic but to the person on the receiving end it is weird and off-putting and really just a turn-off
>meanspirited and judgemental
Again, it's not. it's just how things are. You're not a mean or bad person for thinking that confessions are the way to do things, you just don't know any better. That's just not how intimate relationships are built.
I blame movies and tv for giving people a warped understanding of confessions. They’re always presented as this cathartic dramatic important moment in a story, but people forget that it’s all fiction. It’s a satisfactory piece of a self contained story, not a realistic way of entering into a relationship
user, I'm not inexperienced with this. I've been confessed to by at least 8 people over the year, including some abrupt "I'm in love with you"s. I never found it creepy or off-putting the slightest amount.
You're the exception.
I don't know what you've been watching, but all the media I've ever seen revolving people confessing to one another, it was always the girl confessing to the guy never the other way around.
so are you gonna give me some contact on her? still waiting
She's at work. I'll ask if I can give out her email.
>I'll ask if I can give out her email. ok this MUST be bait
just how would you ask? >oh, h-hey.. do you mind if I give out your email to some guys on Jow Forums ?
I wouldn't mention Jow Forums, but she's a social butterfly and always loves making new friends.
maybe I'll be the one to finally give her what she wants :^)
Just make sure to post a video of you fucking her while OP watches
also I could help you get over her as a romantic interest and eventually stop being a worthless beta orbiter piece of shit;
If OP actually delivers e mail this thread will get interesting.
Why are you guys so interested in OP's girlfriend?
she's not his girlfriend dumbass
I would highly recommend trying to move on dude it seems like you're just holding onto hope and it doesn't help that she's not doing anything to stop at either I'm not sure if she's told you to stop with the confessions or anything whether or not if she has our hasn't to you both are in the wrong and you both need to stop he could get worse and then your feelings are going to crack one day and you might do something that you regret and in the long run she's not going to be your friend in the future so you have to think about the consequences as well you're not able to see it clearly right now because you're too infatuated buyer but you seriously need to try to find someone else because what you're doing right now is not healthy and makes you seem like the bad guy to everybody here dude
No, she's never told me to stop. She doesn't seem to care a whole lot either way. She says that she's turned down so many people in love with her over the years that she's grown numbed to it and no longer feels guilty.
OP contact me on my email :^)
Tomorrow, friend. I am super exhausted from Christmas shopping.
ok friend but if you forget ill be very sad :^(
Ah, to be young. I miss the days of having a girl who's out of your league that you obsess about and eventually it becomes sarcastic / serious flirting. But nothing is ever going to happen
>they're best friends >what was she suposed to do just say "fuck nah let's never hang out again so i can avoid dragging your feelings through the dirt" Yes, precisely. It's better in the end.
Why? Aren't things okay the way they are?
Obviously not, whether he sees it or not. A healthy relationship has a degree of symmetry, else it's just someone fawning over another person and trying to get by in their shadow
Bitch that's how me and my wife hooked up. Sarcastic flirting and stupid jokes from both sides and then wham.