GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

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I couldn't just ask you out, I pussied out.

Haven't studied for my finals in less than a month. Didn't buy the books yet. Don't even know what questions will be asked (verbal exams) or if I need to do additional work.

Also didn't start my thesis.


>go to university
>constant anxiety, panic attacks
>consistently sick because immune system is weakened over extreme stress
>fail classes because I can't focus and have no motivation
>also have chronic pain I've been dealing with for a year now
>extremely depressed
>come home for break
>get sick again
>try to call doctors office
>nobody picks up
>message doctor
>they respond
>tell them I want to come in to discuss options of improving mental health and pain
>they never respond again
think the universe is just telling me to fucking kill myself desu. I'm too weak for this world.

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I got a text message from someone
last January
Somebody called me
4 years ago
Somebody visited me
8 years ago
Someone I know spoke to me
I don't remember when
When I gave up
Just now

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I have 3 weeks left before I become the only man left again.
I have been training for a while now so my body can get more energy and strength.
It's slowly showing.

I just wish I could keep going faster and harder without hurting myself. I hear 'no pain, no gain', but I also hear 'don't hurt yourself'.
How can you balance either? How can you truly tell you did just enough or you're hurting yourself?

I just wish I knew.

I’m giving up on you. Hurts way too much.

I don't get it....

I stopped taking antidepressants and after a month the feeling of pure worthlessness and a need to die have come collapsing back in on me and I feel nothing but guilt. I can't believe I was so shortminded to actually end up in this position.

All I've ever wanted is to live without an internal battle. I don't know what to fucking do. Do I resume the same medication? Like how the fuck do I become happy again?

I'm not stupid. Maybe I'm not smart either but I'm not stupid. The next time someone calls me stupid im gonna fucking murder them.

Goddamn now I feel like a bad friend and a terrible person. I need to stop. Maybe I do need to stop talking to you until I sort out my feelings.

Fuck everything... I'm really sad.

We texted for 16 months, then I bailed on you. Now here I am in the city, just like I said we'd meet. You're probably with someone else by now.

I'm sorry Danielle

What happened?

I feel like shit. I just want everything to be over with already so I can put this shit in the past. It can’t come soon enough, but the more I think about it, the more anxious I get.

Man, eating a subpar kfc chicken sandwich at the food court has become routine by now. It doesn't fail that every time I go there an eat theres always a cute lady passing by and im just looking at her. I want to someday act and talk to a lady.

I thought we were fwb but not anymore. I made a sexual advance and it upset him. He's important to me. I need to be a better friend.

I really like my girlfriend of about a year, but I've become easily annoyed when I bring her to my family gatherings and she talks over everyone and typically dominates the conversation. I'm having a really hard time bringing it up without being an asshole and calling her annoying. she'll talk over me at times too and it gets on my nerves. sometimes I'll just talk right over her so I can at least finish my thought or sentence, but it's as if she needs to constantly get out everything she's thinking about on a constant basis.

dude if I stop jerking off three times a day I'll be so horny I wouldn't know what to do.

I want to fuck my boss.

So do I, but fact is she's my boss and that will ruin things.
But to look at her every day, just seeing her as a cute milf, makes me feel weird inside.

Oh, ok. I'll always love you.

I've always issues handling drugs because my mind is filled with bullshit and that comes out when I'm not sober. So I'm gonna get totally fucked until I can handle my shit.

i wish you showed that u love me , i’ve been feeling so lonely and i keep clinging onto something that’s probably won’t ever happen and i hate myself for it . i can’t let you go because you’re my best friend and i love you so much i’m just not sure if you feel the same way about me because you don’t admit anything because you’re afraid to do so.
i hate that i’m so needy for your attention and affection when i know you can’t provide it, i keep changing myself for you , these past 2 years i’ve changed completely, o just wish you would at least try to love me

And fuck you faggots im gonna make it. I'm not mentally I'll or autistic or anything. I'm clean as fuck. You have the problem.

>boss scolds you for slacking off
man, my previous job has spoilt me
miss being able to shitpost at work all day

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Ask them how they feel.

I fucked up so hard today and now I may not see someone who I view very affectionately anymore.

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i’ve tried in the past but they’ve always blown it off and tell me i should know. i always need reassurance/validation and stuff but i stopped asking them because they got annoyed sadly
our whole relationship is just fucked and it sucks

I really want to completely forget about you. I want to totally remove you from my mind and make it so you don't exist to me. You make me so angry, and I absolutely hate that I have feelings for you. I want you to be gone from my mind for good so I can live my fucking life again. My mind is poisoned by you, and it has been for 4 years straight. My early twenties, years I could have achieved so much more, wasted on you. I don't want my heart to hurt anymore because of you.

God fucking damnit

I never thought I'd feel this way, atleast not when I'm this young. Everything has been a blur since you were rushed to the ER. It's been almost two weeks and my home is pretty much silent without you here. I know that you're in the best possible place to be during this medical emergency, but I'd rather have you home and healthy than in a hospital bed.

I just miss you, along with everyone else here. My phone has been ringing constantly from your friends and family members wanting daily updates like clockwork. You said you didn't have any friends and your extended family was distant, but this proves otherwise. You haven't spoken to Catherine in six months and even she came out to the hospital with flowers. You're getting a lot of love from people you didn't expect, and I'll be honest, I didn't expect it either.

Come home soon. We all miss you here.

I'm not even mad at you, but I see you for exactly who you are now. Being well-spoken and polite doesn't make you a good person, you should know that. I think you'll figure that out one day.
I never really loved you in any serious capacity, I did get pretty excited to reel you in, because I thought you would be easier to please. There were a lot of circumstances that led to us doing what we did, and you both helped me tie up old loose ends and open a few new doors. Thank you for that.
I really hope that you arent going to die, and I hope you find a man who will measure up to your standards better.
If nothing else, take care of our fucking dog.

It'd be nice if you were them, but I projected long enough.
But still, is that why your hair is short now?
It's a cute look.

>But still, is that why your hair is short now?
Not them, but no, I don't like it when it starts to look shaggy.
>It's a cute look.
Thank you. You're beautiful, by the way (larp).

I agree. and I don’t know how to describe it but lately she’s been acting “cute.” She called me her “little Dan the Man” and bumps into me, the touches my arm saying, “sorry.” So we’ll see where that goes.

The pain will persist, you know. I made sure of that.

My main thing about texting is tjat feeling when nothing feels natural. I get completely lost in what to say but I know if I had a voice or a face to the words I’d know what to say naturally.

Thoughts ?

You get a feel for their literary side and style of informal writing.
>Thoughts ?
Use it to make plans or contact/ask them anything when you're not together.

We’ve only hung out a few times but I really want to get to know you better. I don’t know how to act around people I like this much. I really hope I don’t fuck this up.

So close! You almost dumped that loser. He better straighten up, since you're giving him a second chance.

I don't want to kill myself. I think.

It feels like we're becoming strangers. I don't know why, but maybe we're better off this way.

I can’t stop fucking things up. Everything I touch just get all fucked up. Every time I try to actually apply myself and NOT fuck things up, something out of my control strikes me down and fucks my shit up for me. I’d kill myself, but I’m afraid I’ll fuck that up and have to live as a depressed vegetable for the rest of my life. I just wish something could go right *just fucking once* in my life.

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We're not better off this way.

I've been on dating apps for the last week.
And all of the people who talk to me are bots.
Even this one chick who I really connected to, turns out she was a bot, found out when I found her other account, said she was from Poland.

I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life.
I am actually attractive, I have good Charisma and a Personality.
The closest I ever got to success was this chick a few years older than me, who said that she was heavily not into Gamers.

I mean there is this other chick, she is 16 and I am 19, but the problem is, I want to move next year, and she is already 2 hours away from my current home.
It'd be a 5 hour drive to see her.

Any Australian who lives in Brissy wanna meet up or some shit?
I'm out of options.

Has Alcoholics Anonymous worked for anyone here? I can't control my drinking

Gonna see my ex-gf after a month of more or less no contact at a party
We wanted to meet up yesterday but were talking past each other
Texted a bit and she wished me a good night and good dreams...

Now i'm hooked again

We'll never be together, that is something I've accepted now.

I can’t tell if I’m breaking or if I’ve been broken from the start.

We would have if you reciprocated.

I've only shown you my confrontational side mostly. Who I am...who I really am is deep and loving, everyone loves me. You'll never know me.

I don't want him anymore. I feel I'm better than that, stooping for someone like that is beneath me. I'd let down all those who love me by allowing someone like him into my life.

You had your chance.

You are afraid to love.

Yes. Exactly.

No one is going to just agree with a random comment retard. It's obviously you replying to yourself.

lol no

Haha idiot, I bet you feel like an idiot, don’t you, idiot?

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More evidence that it's you talking to yourself.

Just admit that you're a bitter faggot, that got cucked.

Acceptance that I'm never going to not be alone is hard.

Hey man that sounds like me

Fuck my life, the moment I need you the most you're not here because you just got a fulltime job.

I just wish you were completely erased from my memory. These last 2 and a half years have been the absolute best and wost years of my life. I wish I could unfeel that stupid comforting safe feeling I always got being in your arms. I wish I could take back the love I attempted to give, I may have lied but it was out of shame and guilt. That doesnt mean I didnt love you. Im foolish for expecting a man that claimed he loved me to endure tough times with me. I was selfish for asking you to help fix a problem that you had nothing to do wasn't fair. Now I wish I could turn off the random memories that keep flashing through my mind. That stupid way we looked at each other. Our dumb nick names (mouse/bunny???) I just want to go back to life without you in it. I want to feel worthy again, and happy. My life was already complicated before you stepped in the picture. Who knew it could get worse and worse? Thank you for completely changing my life and teaching me some very valuable lessons along the way. Im sorry you never felt accepted or loved by me. Ironically I felt the exact same way...this seperation was long over due. We were never meant to be together, physical attraction and hormores are what really drove the connection. You didnt care for me the way I did you. I supposedly didnt care for you the way you loved me. It was a mess.....long and emotional mess. Ive humiliated myself for your acceptance. Ive degraded myself for your guidance and worst of it all, I lost myself learning you. We should've never gotten together..I should've taken your advice and NEVER worked there.

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The bloodsuckers will use anything against you to steal just a little bit more of your dignity and act like I'm retarded. I guarantee you're actually just sentient cancer so don't look dare look down on me cunts.

I’ll never do or say something I don’t mean just because of feeling sorry ever again.

Sometimes I just wonder when a civil war will happen here in the U.S. We say history will never repeat itself but it is starting to right now, but in a different name. When someone says "equality" they don't mean equal rights, because we already have equal rights, they mean less rights for those who oppose them (ex.white men). And the corrupted media who only focus on the worst of the opposition instead of giving out the facts and not opinions. Just sounds like another form of fascism

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I’m a nice person. If you have a problem with that, it’s your problem. Not mine.

I don’t care about you anymore.

you can stop saying that over and over it hurts ok

Life has been a constant battle that has simply gotten worse over time, turning into a war, then an apocalypse. Now it's been years in the wasteland, trying to survive off of scraps I find. Everyone has that feeling of not belonging or being different growing up, and to a certain extent they're all correct. People are very unique, we're all ultimately solitary beings walled off in our brains and can only ever connect with someone through intermediaries (i.e., symbols presented to us via the senses). I always felt actually different, however, primarily because people would tell me this all the time unprovoked. Not cruelly, just a nonchalant observation. Later on I realized what was likely driving that: an underlying mental illness that gave me the ability to view the world differently. So I've always felt slightly alienated, which got worse over time, culminating in a psychotic break that set me on a path of hatred and contempt. Hatred for my fellow man not understanding my plight, and contempt when they showed little sympathy. It has been a decade now of pushing as hard and as smart as I can to solve my internal issues while making my way in the world, and while I've had some successes, I feel that I've failed. What's more, the motivation to fix it is nonexistent. No matter how wealthy or prestigious I get, I think I'll still be alienated and alone, unable to speak my mind because I'm in the minority of people. It's too hard to let go of the hate. The way I've been treated, and others with severe mental illness have been treated, boils my blood. I try to meditate on it, to accept that there are good people out there and to simply move on, but my heart is too vindictive, too spiteful. I hate people, and I hate the society we have created for ourselves. Hollow and sublunary, I simply don't understand what I'm supposed to look forward to in such a shallow place.

Also gg with that lyric OP, top notch song and one of my fave artists

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It’s your own fault.

I just gotta act normal.

Im not your guy but reading that kinda negativity over and over again hurts bad.


It's like peeling a scab over and over and over again. The more you go back to it, the more fucked you are in the head.


Fucking disgusting shits everywhere.
Tired of public transport with gross fuckers and being so close to each other.
I wouldn't even want to meet any of you all in person and yet i still browse this shithole.
It's painful to act as if i like anyone everyday.

>Mom has stage 4 breast cancer and was told she has 3 months left to live
>Haven't gotten along with my dad since he used to threatened to make us homeless and to remove my mom from healthcare so she couldnt pay for medicine
>Never really got along with sistersGirl I'm interested had a few long conversations (several hours) over the past week but has ignored me for the past couple of days
>Going to uni but have no goal in life
>Social autism means its hard for me to open up to people, so i usually pretend like everything's fine
Life feels like its falling apart and spiraling down into nothingness. Don't have anyone that I feel close enough to talk to about this, and I just feel like no one really wants me around. I'm not going to an hero, but wouldn't really care if I didn't wake up tomorrow.
I don't even feel hungry anymore, like my body has just given up, I have to force myself to eat, which happens maybe once a day. Most days I barely leave my bed and don't do anything.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to tell someone, helps that I'll never know you

I feel like a total simp and a boring loser. I met three women in 2018. All three relationships started out promising, with the women having high interest and us having a ton of fun together. Then they started asking me for favors, little things anyone would be willing to do just because it's a nice thing and not too much of a burden. Everyone said verbatim "Oh you're so sweet" then immediately stopped replying to my texts, refusing to take my calls. It's as if they play from the same playbook.

The first one after a month of constant communication faded away after I asked her to call me on the phone because I was tired of texting.. I've tried to reconnect with her a couple of times but she won't come out from her wall of politeness and actually talk to me. No interest.

The second spent half the year talking to me about her problems and treating me like a stand-in boyfriend. She asked me out then immediately and inexplicably changed her mind. She stopped replying to my texts only to call me up and tell me she won't hang out with me 1v1.

The third fizzled out fast. She seemed to have a crush on me for most the year. Finally got her number because she was constantly asking about my plans and seeming really interested in my personal life. We went out a few times and she was really cool. She also promised to take me out and cook for me, touched me, long tender hugs, called and texted me all day. Then one day things just changed. It's as if a switch flipped in her head and she just .. changed. She stopped hugging me tight, started displaying closed off body language and there's this undercurrent of annoyance whenever we do talk. She now ignores most of my texts and doesn't seem to want to see me anymore. I'm confused but not surprised at all. Maybe I'm just not appealing.

I hate buses for this reason. Especially when mudslimes are in there..

>Broke up with ex 2 months ago
>Still not over her
>She returned home in vacation for uni
>Her bff works at a restaurant
>Plan on going to that restaurant tonight and say hi to her

Telll me why this is a bad ideea. Also, the break-up was pretty shitty and we stopped talking, and I got along pretty good with her bff. I plan on talking a bit, but not asking anything about my ex, maybe it'll seem I got over her. I don't even know why I'm doing this man

Can I pretend that I hate you?

Try me.

Don't do it. It's only going to be awkward and set you back in getting over her. You're going to feel like total shit

You can pretend that you love me.

I miss the shit out of her man. Even talking to her bff will feel like I'm closer to her

God, why did she leave me. Why did she got back with her ex.. She broke up with him for me, and then she broke up with me for him. WHAT THE SHIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Get over her. You’re already miserable enough. What you think of doing won’t help you.

She had feelings for him the entire time she was dating you. That's why. She never stopped being his girl, and if you try to pop up on her it's not going to go well for you. I know you miss her. I know it hurts but you have to move forward. Absolutely do not sacrifice any more of your dignity for this woman. She made her choice. Let her live with it

That's not really falling apart. They are all issues you have had for a while and could work on and the first thing is a life changing experience at a time where life usually changes a lot for most people.

So it's not falling apart. It's changing.

Try to enjoy the time you have with your mother and think about what life she would want you to lead.

I totally know how you feel the need to tell strangers to get it off your chest. You can always do that anytime and it is perfectly okay.

I'm fucking dumb for loving you. I know that you will never love me.

I just wish I wasn't a fucking loser. I guess it's just karma but I feel like I've paid my dues. I can't suck at everything.

J. I don't know if I can move past this. Sometimes I feel fine with it.
But then I relive it in my mind how it felt at those moments. Even if you are the dearest ex to me, the only one I loved, even if I still do, even if you said and acted in a really emotionally unstable place, you still said things to hurt my feelings and lied to my face and it is so hard to see you as anyone but a liar and a coward. I feel bad for feeling this way but for years and years that I went through suffering just to have your emotional outbursts explode in my face, is so traumatic.

You still haven't admitted the truth that I already know nor apologized nor asked how I was feeling.

I wish I could stop loving you.
I want more than anything to see you but I can't be vulnerable again and I know how vulnerable I am with you so I want you to stay away forever.

Don't fucking call me and then say you didn't you miserable bitch. I don't want you to contact me at fucking all. You're looking for some low comittment attention from me, why don't you focus on your rebound boyfriend instead whore.

I love seeing how the woman I was dating for years is finally showing her true colors after we broke up. She always said she was so traditional and moral, but she's acting like the biggest thot now. I think I missed a bullet big time. All she wants is for someone to pay attention to her tits and pussy, she doesn't care who.

What do you expect when we go from communicating everyday to ice queen bitch? I have too much self-worth to become another orbiter and need to protect myself.

thanks for leading me on for no reason i guess, lmao

Everyone in the world makes me fucking angry. I never want to leave the house so my shitty self doesn't have to deal with the world.

I hate my mother's side of the family. Bunch of fucking psychopaths.

It's a long road, but it can be done. Medicines "work," but they don't really fix your brain chemistry. You have to retrain you internal monologue. Consider attached photo and remember you brain sits in a sea of liquid. What you think is what you are.

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