Meeting Women

Where/how does one meet women?

I'm about to just get on tinder because I don't know how the fuck to meet women. I'm in my mid-20s and meeting women just became so much harder after graduating. I'm not a virgin and I'm not super awkward/autistic around girls, I just don't know where to meet them. All the girls I've been with before I met at school or parties, I don't really go to many parties any more and all my coworkers are considerably older than I am. I've tried the cold approach before but it just always feels awkward and never leads anywhere, at best there's a little flirting and then both parties just go their separate ways. I never really wanted to try online dating but now I really don't know how else to meet women.

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Take up art classes or join activities in your free time.

You’d be surprised how easy it is to meet girls when the goal isn’t to meet girls.

Did you went to college or go to college?

I did go to college, super easy to meet girls there but now its over. I feel like most of my friends who have GFs meet them in college.

I do martial arts in my free time and I'm not even remotely attracted to the girls in my gym. I see these types of suggestions a lot in threads like this but I already have a pretty time-consuming hobby where I haven't met any girls I'm interested in. Am I just supposed to keep joining new activities until I meet one?

Join a cooking class. You'll only meet thots on a gym.

>Where/how does one meet women?
Anywhere social, coffee places, bars, running clubs, meetups is a website you can find social clubs to attend.

>go to dozens of meetups
>every one is 90% guys
Where are the girls hiding.

Stop going to warhammer meetups?
When I go to social meetups it is 30% foreign men, 30% foreign women and the other 40% is introverted local women

Which city?

Name some example meetups you have had luck at.

When I was an IT technician I'd be sent all over the UK, if I got sent anywhere on a Thursday/Friday I'd usually get an extra night if I finished late (which I usually would), I'd just jump on meetup and find local social groups, there was always something going on.
Note I said social meetups, this means ones centred upon talking to other people rather than hobby ones where people solely go to discuss their hobby.

I don't really understand what examples you want?? I'd attend the meetup, talk to women about goings on, find something relevant, reveal something about myself and encourage them to talk about themselves... if things went well I would take them back to my hotel (I only stayed in central hotels which were always near meetup locations), remove their clothes and fuck them, if they stopped the night I'd pay for their breakfast.

Are there any actual introverts there? Is finding an LTR viable there? I want to avoid flings to head off guilt about them later when I'm married.

Which city?

Name some example meetups you have had luck at.

>meet women
This whole "I'm going out just to get a date" is desperate and reeks of desperation and turns people off.
You have GOT to get more shit going in your life.

And no, Tinder won't help. If you can't approach women, doing it online will just hurt worse.

>Are there any actual introverts there?
Extroverts don't need the internet to find people to hang out with. You can find long term by telling them your intentions and making plans for future dates.
London, Manchester, Derby, Nottingham, Cardiff were a few of them
I went to any meetups that had "social" in the name, I can't remember the exact names or provide links because I haven't logged into meetups in years.

Add a random girl on fb you have several mutual friends with and talk to them. It worked for me and, unlike you, I am fairly awkward and probably on the spectrum.


Meetups are for lonely people. Permanent social spaces are where you will find people who want to socialize for the fun of it and not just because they are lonely or in need of sex. Of course you will notice that some bars are full of people who just want sex. The trick is to avoid these by shopping around and finding places where people go simply because being at a bar is good, they like the bartender, and they like the other regulars. Look for a bartender who talks to everyone at the bar and gets them talking to each other. Late afternoon is the best time for this. As the bar gets busy at night it will be difficult to recognize this dynamic as it will be buried in a bunch of other activity, but all that activity derives from the bartender, the regulars, and the atmosphere and reputation they establish. In a good bar, at least.

If you don't drink, go to a bar anyway, order seltzer, and tip two dollars. If you must hang out at a cafe, find one with a bar-style setup, communal seating, a designated laptop room, no wifi, or other elements designed to create a social space instead of the Starbucks "invisible cubicle" environment.

Don't expect immediate results, by the way. You need to start now, put work into finding a good home base, and invest time in that place. Don't expect to meet someone special right away. Don't even try. Make an active social life for yourself that is full of people, and let your girl find you. Keep your eyes peeled for her, of course.

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You have much luck going to bars yourself?

I go to concerts/shows/edm clubs by myself and do reasonably well socializing but going to a regular bar alone always seemed like it'd be weird.

It sucks if you have no one to go with, but eventually you make friends there. You see the guy you chatted with last time, and this time you can just mosey up and say how was your day?

Blog entry inbound but since you asked -

I married a girl I met at a bar, which I was at because a mutual friend was the DJ, and there was an art show put on by their sister bar (same owners) which I also frequented.

The mutual friend was someone I had once asked out. I met her at another bar where I had become friends with the bartender. We went on one date and had no chemistry whatsoever but became close friends. The sister bar that organized the art show, I started going to that place because I had become good friends with a few girls I also met through a bartender.

So there was some serendipity here, but it was arguably also inevitable that I would meet the girl who became my wife, because over time I had made many connections to her at several places.

Watch your money while you do this. It is very easy to lose track of your time and money while your mind, even if you try otherwise, is on some level always hoping to find a girlfriend and seeing possibilities in every distraction, every afterhours or late night diner stop. I spent way too much money doing all this in an undisciplined way. Be on top of your budget, don't buy drinks for random girls, don't buy drugs, and go home early most of the time.

Random story. I looked at that website and their was a meetup for introverted individuals and no event had been hosted for at least a year. I thought that was pretty ironic and funny.

Not OP but in the same situation. I went to a bar today for the first time, i looked at reviews online and picked the best looking one. There was not a single girl there under 40, at all. I stayed there for a few hours, had friends with me for about half of it. Women dont seem to exist, I've been to meetup, local clubs, and now a bar, its all guys. I joined a few dating apps too but I get no matches. It feels so hopeless I'm average looking but i have a good career that pays well, plenty of hobbies, and i'm fit, but I haven't been on a date in two years. Ive tried cold approaching but women don't want to be cold approached. What else is there to do besides give up?

This is me.

Please send help.

I guess try to join a class or go to a different city try all those things

It's such a mixed bag. I actually found a few good ones that I wish I could afford to do stuff with more, but like 90% of them are very specific things, along the lines of "single black muslim lesbian mothers who code in fortran (40+ only)". I guess it's nice that the internet allows for highly specialized groups to exist, but it seems weird that there are so few "just people who want to do things" groups.

It seems like this only works for people with relatively relatable lives. What about those of us that dont have much to relate to with common outside people who dont use the internet?

Then you know what you need to do. Pick up some hobby that isn't about sitting at a computer. Ingest some popular media (or at least popular with the crowd where you're going). Learn how to get them to talk about their relatable life instead.

So try more bars. How many women have you asked out this year? How do you typically approach women?

I havent asked out a woman in a very long time. I just dont encounter any, my company is a smallish one with literally none, my hobbies are all male, the gym is all male. I used to try to talk to women cold but the handful of times I did it they called me a creep to my face.

I'm not sure I understand the question. You kind of sound like you've never been to a bar. You don't have to talk to anybody at a bar. You can just sit there. Eventually you get to know people, and hopefully you get to know your neighborhood, and you talk about things you have experienced in the neighborhood, at the bar, etc. You talk about each other.

I mainly go to a cafe because I spend a lot of time with my kid. The other day I went with a another parent and we talked about our kids, I talked to her about the things she told me about her family. I talked to her son about video games. I've become friendly with the staff there. The owner tells long, interesting stories and over time my investment in all this information makes it easier to talk with her. One guy there talks to me about his dog and an app we both use. A girl I've been flirting with talks to me about her home country and her experience getting used to the city we live in. I frankly don't have a lot going on in my life other than the other people in it, so we may be in similar situations. Keep close to your heart the comfort of knowing that it is okay not to talk. You can sit and read, and people get it. You don't want to be at home by yourself. This is so common that without it cafes and bars would not exist at all.

It's probably best not to use these, but it pays to be informed about news and especially to follow developments in science and technology. Over time this practice fills you with anecdotal information and a variety of obscure opinions, which you don't want to whip out and be all "I learned something amazing about Neptune the other day!" but it comes in handy.

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Is this a Euro thing?

I'm just talking about coffee shops that aren't greasy spoons. Like a Starbucks but hopefully not corporate and sterile. You order an espresso drink at a counter and go sit with it. Ever watch Friends? Or the place in 13 Reasons Why. Where do you go to have coffee but not make it yourself and not be at Starbucks?

I understand now. Idk if my city has something cozy like that or if I'd feel awkward going. Do you eventually just work up the courage to converse with other regulars?

Personally, I'd like to participate in some hiking meetups.

>There was not a single girl there under 40, at all. I stayed there for a few hours, had friends with me for about half of it. Women dont seem to exist, I've been to meetup, local clubs, and now a bar, its all guys.

You realIze... there are tons of different kinds of bars, with tons of different kinds of clientele right?

The bar i basically live at has a range of people going from 21 to 60+. Probably 60% male to 40% male. 90% straight to 10% gay. 30% college kids, 30% blue collar, 30% white collar bankers/tech industry.

It’s diverse as all fuck.

Meanwhile the bar across the street has 80% college kids, pretty evenly male and female.

The one next to that one has 70% mid 40s guys and married couples..

The one across the street is 90% gay guys.

Every bar has a different type of vibe and caters to different types of people.

If you’re first instinct is to give up because the ONE time you tried it, it didn’t work out, that’s probably one of the primary reasons why you’re having difficulty getting anywhere with women... That vibe of negativity and desperation tends to be a major turn off.

Much more appealing is when you’re confident and don’t give half a fuck.

Is it normal to just go to a cafe and sit by yourself? Will anyone even talk to you? I go to one right next to my office when on break, I don't think I've ever seen anyone just sitting alone they always have groups. I would feel super uncomfortable and out of place just sitting by myself reading in public like that.
I honestly don't mean to sound defeatist but I just don't understand bar culture at all, what it's like, or what to do. I only ever drink at friends' houses or my own. I don't know anyone who goes to bars.

i have also heard about people going to cafés to socialize but i have actually never seen someone make another connection with someone else there.

Political parties and events on the other hand...Specially the extremist parties. A lot of events and meeting of new people.

Also, a result of nobody going there alone is there are no women by themselves there. They all have guys with them or multiple other girls. What am I supposed to do at that point?

You get to learn a lot of more new people. They are your connection to a completely new social tree. Because behind every man or women you meet out there is his or hers single friends which you get to meet at example parties, events and so on.

So just walk up and meet the whole group? Makes me anxious just thinking about that. Won't the guy get defensive if one of those girls are his gf? Or do I stick to just groups of girls.

In a political movement (specially the extreme once) some members have as a "job" to integrate you to the rest of the moment. They will start talking to you and introduce you to more and more in the organisation, even single girls because couples in a movement is a better movement. (also specially the extreme once, right and left)

A little bit like religion and getting involved in a sect. Same kind of mindset.

So if you are into politics you should get active.

Don't listen to the anons who tell you to join activities in order to meet girls. Unless it's on your bucketlist or just interested in doing that particular activity that suits you, it's a total waste of time. Don't chase tail for the sake of chasing tail. If you want to meet women in your life, the best thing to do is approach her and ask for her number. Not this underground bullshit of meeting women through activity or hobbies. Those are supposed to be time for yourself and personal development, not women.

There's not a lot of politics except for the small group that protests the local military base. I joined a hiking club that gets political sometimes to lobby environmental stuff so we'll see how that goes once it's not winter, but so far the entire club is boomers and nobody my age.

Keep on looking. There is always something, and if you have to travel 1 hour to get there..might be worth it!

I agree with your sentiment but do women actually want to be approached like that? I get the feeling it will just come off as creepy.
There's a holiday event at a cafe in the town nearby I'm checking out today so hopefully I don't pussy out and can actually meet people.

Great to hear, my friend! Good luck with the event! Hope it goes well!

From my own observations if someone's at a cafe and theyre not with friends they generally dont want to be bothered

Clubs and bars. If you have friends they should be able to introduce you to women. It's not that hard.

But why be in public if you just want to be alone?
All my friends are in long term relationships with girls they met during college, or in the same situation as me. And we all live far away now so we don't get to meet up in person that much.

I agree with bars and clubs.

Bars and clubs are probably the single most popular social venues for people who are looking to make new friends but most importantly to meet a potential date or hookup. And rightly so, because in my opinion they are still one of the most effective places to go to if you're looking for any kind of romance.

Why? Well it's because that's what these venues are made for. If you really get down to it, bars and clubs are basically just concealed human mating grounds for the following reasons:

>There is alcohol which lowers people's inhibitions and makes it easier to socialize with strangers of the opposite sex.
>There is loud music and it's generally accepted to dance intimately with strangers of the opposite sex. Dancing is in and of itself a pretty sexual act because it's physical escalation (which is why grinding is so popular).
>Most people in bars/clubs are single and purposely dress/present themselves to be more attractive to the opposite sex. It's not a coincidence that girls always dress provocatively when going out. They are looking to meet a guy.

And no, i don't buy into this ''all girls in bars/clubs are sluts'' meme. I've met lots of very decent women who regularly go to these venues. Heck, my own parents met each other in a club when they were young. They've been married for 25 years and are still together to this day.

fuck off retard


Only if you're a chad otherwise you're just an "eww omg creep"!

Have you actually tried this? Not making an incel post, I'm genuinely curious how can you make this work, cold approaching seems difficult and sounds like it rarely works.

>All my friends are in long term relationships with girls they met during college, or in the same situation as me.
Hey it's me.

Its a nice cafe but there were only couples there and one big group of people, none of them were really interested in talking to a stranger. Just chatted with the people working there and left. I guess its better than not going at all.