How to stop feeling like shit for never having a GF?
I look at guys who have girlfriends and i feel inferior to all of them. like i think "if they have a gf it's proof that they're better than me". Even if i see a really fat or hideous or autistic guy with a gf i feel like shit and like i'm nothing compared to them because they have a gf
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This is relatable as fuck.
I have an inferioriry complex that I mask to myself with a false superiority complex.
I really do feel like no girl will ever reciprocate attraction
I wish i never had a gf the amount of emotional trauma i have now is trash
Same, I ended up in a psych ward for a week because of a girl. Shit, it's been 5 years for me now since I've dated anyone seriously because of that.
At least you can fucking get a girl. You dont understand how badly it affects my self-esteem that i cant get a date to save my life, i feel like a subhuman, like there's something horribly wrong with me
no offense but there probably is dude lol. most normal humans at least socialize enough to the point where they get a gf at some time by the time their in college. i hope youre still in high school
But how the fuck can people like you get a gf? You're all depressed and mentally ill and failures at life, even more so than me. I'm successful at life in every area including socially, except i cant get a gf. What gives?
>see Wojak
>think it's bullshit
>read image
>it fucking kills the crab
You guys could stand to learn a lot by taking a good, long look at this and havin a T H I N K.
Maybe try not obsessing over it. Seriously, if you just chill and let life happen at its own pace, you'll meet someone amazing eventually.
Most of the girls I've dated actually approached me, yes it does happen.
Just be yourself bro, live your life.
The fact that you make it a competition on Jow Forums is pretty telling as to why you can't get friends or romance.
Remember, if you're making an excuse, don't.
Can you people make your fucking mind up already?
Half of you say
>Dude you have to approach women yourself or else you'll be a virgin forever
The other half of you say
>Dude don't bother, just live your life, women will approach you eventually
Which one is it?
I've lived my entire life just "chilling" and "letting things happen" and no girl has ever shown a sign of interest in me. This is hell.
Who said I can't get friends? Just because I'm an incel doesn't mean I'm a social pariah.
There are plenty of people on Jow Forums who claim to "not have any friends", and yet they have a girlfriend. I have friends and go to parties every week but can't get a date no matter how hard i try.
Okay Im going to take my time to answer this
>Insecurity
I dont think I'm ugly. I like the way I look. I'm above average height for my country, and I'm taller than most guys I know who have GFs. I'm in decent shape, not fat or too skinny.
>You never try
Yes, true, but that's because i dont get signs of interest.
>You have a boring life
Not really. I enjoy my life, have hobbies I love, an active social life, and a good career ahead of me after college.
>Desperation, savior fantasy, validation, obligation
No, I just dont understand why every other man can get a GF while I cant even get a first date
>Purity fantasy
I dont care about whether a girl is a virgin or not. I honestly don't care. In fact I'd prefer to date an experienced girl because then she would have the knowledge to tell me if I'm doing anything wrong in the bedroom.
Live your life and ask out the women that interest you.
They're not fucking aliens nigger, they can't see your "inner qualities" if all you do is stare at them without saying a word.
Relying on the cases in which a woman approaches a man is not a viable way to get a woman holy fucking shit.
Then why the fuck did that guy tell me to "just wait and let women approach you"?
Stop giving conflicting advice. Every time someone tells me their strategy is to "just wait" I get fucking confused because I start to think that I must be repulsive if no girls have approached me
>You have a boring life
Why are there no girls who enjoy a boring life?
*fat girls don't count
Because he's a dense retard.
Men approach women. Men set the initiative! Women are afraid of approaching men. Even if a woman found you attractive, the chances of her initiating the contact are virtually ZERO!!
If you were a woman, that advice + lose weight would be more than enough.
But you, as a man, have to ask women out!
user never said "just wait," they said "live your life." It's not that complicated.
If you're a genuinely charming person, someone will find you. If you want to date someone, ask them. If they say no, it's not the end of the world.
Challenge yourself to go to a bar or someplace and ask out 5 girls. Next week, ask 10. If you go into it expecting to be rejected, then you get to be genuinely surprised when someone eventually says yes. Plus, you're at a bar, which means you also get to have a drink if you strike out that night. Win win.
>If you're a genuinely charming person, someone will find you.
Well no girl has ever flirted with me or shown signs of interest. So, by your logic, I'm not attractive. So why bother asking girls out? If they wanted to date me, they would have "found me", as you put it.
Well, then just try. But don't look for a date. Just look for having new friendships. Even if they say "no thanks,I have a BF", you can say that's cool.
The "friend zone" is absolute bullshit. There's nothing wrong with being friends with a woman.
Having lots of female friends, you may find one that sees you as "more than a friend" and score a date.
+Your female friends could introduce you to single women.
Attractive =/= charming
You can be ugly and charming, and you can be attractive and uncharismatic as fuck.
If you allow yourself to get pissed about no one flirting with you, people are gonna notice, and that'll make them not want to talk to you.
And seriously though, consider that challenge. If you want a girlfriend that bad, you need to figure out some actionable steps that you can take right now, instead of complaining about how it hasn't happened yet. Don't knock it.
I do have female friends. Not super close friends. But I do have some friends who are girls, and I hang around girls. A while ago a female friend asked me "how's your dating life going user" and for some reason I decided to be honest and replied "oh, terribly, im not very good with women". And she said she was genuinely shocked, she never would have guessed that about me based off the image I have IRL
I know the pain of feeling defective, user. Unlike you I actually try here and there. But even trying is hard as it seems every girl in my uni already has boyfriend.
have you asked out a girls who is in your league?
>How to stop feeling like shit for never having a GF?
by realizing you don't have to put up with this shit and that all women are depreciating assets.
Jow Forums
sucks...
How do you know your league?
I wish I had asked out girls in college
Now I'm a fucking NEET with no hope.
Don't waste your college years.
I dont know how to ask a girl out. What am i even supposed to say? How do i prepare her for it?
Fuck I don't know man. Nobody ever told me so I just sat in the back of the class and then ended up hiding in my room until I was 26 and suicidal, now I'm here right now typing at you.
Someone tell ME how to do it.
get a girlfriend lmao
>that's because i dont get signs of interest.
What a bullshit excuse. Try getting a job by looking for "signs of interest"
Without signs of interest how are you supposed to know what girls will say yes if you ask them out? am i supposed to just guess?
That's exactly what I do when looking for a job. They're usually pretty clear about what kind of person they're interested in. You probably wouldn't apply for an acting role with a computer science degree.
No one told you the cheat codes? Aw man it's super simple
1) approach from the front by placing one foot in front of the other to perform what is communally called "walking" if the target is sitting place your rear in a chair next to her in a move we like to call "sitting"
2) open you mouth and vibrate your vocal chords to create noises in the form of human language, preferably the spoken language of the country you are in to maximize the chance she can understand you. Say phrases that fall under the colloquialism of "small talk", phrases like "hey how's it going?" or "how about that [x]" where x is a recent event
3) hopefully she responds positively, repeat step 2 until you are sufficiently comfortable with each other's company
4) using the method outlined in step 2 (the vocalization of human words) ask for her contact info so that you can continue communicating with her after you separate in the immediate future and are unable to continue communicating due to the physical distance creating too much interference for your human language vocalizations to be easily heard by her, if it all
Like, fucking seriously, are you actually mentally disabled? Literally what fucking instructions are you expecting to receive. I'm so confused how you autists asks these questions ad nauseam. You've spoken to human before right? You're capable of typing out coherent sentences on a Malaysian Basketweaving forum, literally what the fuck are you not understanding about taking to women? Use your fucking words with your fucking mouth.
Christ
>am i supposed to just guess?
Uh, yeah retard. That's what everyone is doing. That's the whole fucking point of asking a girl out; you're attracted to her and you're seeing if shes potentially attracted to you.
I csnt imagine how empty your life is if you approach everything the way you approach asking girls out. How little do you accomplish each day? Just never taking any action that doesn't have a 100% guarantee of success?
>approaching strangers
Based autismo
Don’t bother with him. He makes threads constantly about how girls never show interest in him. Always the same sort of phrasing too. There’s no helping this guy.
>Literally what fucking instructions are you expecting to receive
I just have a lot of questions and worries.
Like, am I supposed to befriend a girl before asking her out? Or do i literally just walk up to her and ask her out within 5 or 10 minutes of conversation? What if my nerves are too much to be able to ask her out without shaking or stuttering? What if i accidentally creep her out?
Well i dont have this attitude towards anything else, just dating. I've developed a complex surrounding my incel status and now I have extreme and intense anxiety specifically regarding asking girls out, flirting, physical intimacy etc.
>Like, am I supposed to befriend a girl before asking her out?
Sure, that works
>Or do i literally just walk up to her and ask her out within 5 or 10 minutes of conversation?
That works too
>What if my nerves are too much to be able to ask her out without shaking or stuttering? What if i accidentally creep her out?
Well for one, you should seek therapy because talking to strangers shouldn't be this difficult. You're going to have to interact with strangers your entire life, what you're describing isn't healthy.
And for two, who fucking cares dude? She doesn't know you. What the fuck do you think is going to happen? Is she gonna stab you?
I fundamentally dont understand your fears. You need to realize that this shit you're stressing out over is completely illogical, borderline psychopathic. You can still be normal. Go the fuck outside. Interact with people and socialize.
>Well for one, you should seek therapy because talking to strangers shouldn't be this difficult.
Okay. But I can talk to girls pretty much just fine if it's purely platonic.
I can be at a social event or party and walk up to a girl and start a conversation pretty easily. I can introduce myself just fine. I can make them laugh, I can ask them about their interests. I can make them feel comfortable around me as a friend. But the moment I try to think about actually flirting, or asking her out or something, I just freeze. I can't do it. I'm too scared that she's going to think I'm disgusting or something.
Seriously mate seek therapy and stop shitting up this board. How can you not realize that your problems can’t be magically solved by a Japanese shitposting forum?
Can you just explain it to me please? Why are girls entirely comfortable hanging around me and being my friend and laughing at my jokes, but they dont show signs of interest in me?
Is it possible that girls think I'm gay?
>Women are afraid of approaching men.
This has always bothered me. Why are women afraid of approaching men? More men will accept a girl's advances than a girl accepting a guy's advance. They are far less likely to get rejected, but too stupid and cowardly to realize it.
This board does not have the answers you seek. You have mental issues that you need to work out in therapy. They cannot be fixed here.
You're just being deliberately difficult now. At least offer your opinion on my situation.
whatever dude. I dont fucking care anymore. I've probably written that exact same advice so many times it rivals my masters project in total words. Do whatever you want retard. You clearly are mentally disabled and dont want to succeed. If it were up to me I'd kill you and dump in a river so you stop leeching of society but I'm sure you'll do just fine being alive but rotting mentally, spending the rest of your life antagonizing strangers on the internet as substitute for being a functional human being.
You're mom spent nine months and much more of her life raising you. Imagine how much it kills her inside to see her walking abortion of a son every day just continuing to devour her love and care like cancerous growth
How difficult is it to answer the question?
The reason I ask repeatedly is because no one gets it. You say shit like "oh, go outside and socialize, learn how to talk to people". But I'm not some Jow Forums shut in you know. I DO go outside and talk to people. The only part of socialization I truly deeply struggle with is the romantic element.
I offered my opinion. You need professional help. Anything we tell you to do, you’re going to have an excuse for it. So why bother.
You're gonna look like such an ass when I come back here in 6 months and I have a GF
I'll prove you fuckers wrong, just watch me. When I escape inceldom I'm going to make an advice thread dedicated to actually helping the guys like me who really struggle with this shit
Dude fuck off and get therapy. I told you in the last thread I have social anxiety, was a khv, and I managed to date this girl who told me she didn't find me that interesting to date when we first met. I had no friends and a job when I asked her out, but I did it because I didn't want to die a virgin. You know all the advice we give you is true, but you're a fag who wants the secret PUA skill to get girls to fall all over you.
I'm not that guy, I really should try to get a girl but I have no job
I assume that's a dealbreaker?
No, dont worry, ive decided im going to ask some girls out. Im not coming back until i've escaped inceldom. So if you see any more posts that you think are mine, they're not mine, they're an imposter.
Not really, I didn't have one when I asked out my ex, but it will bite you in the ass in the future
How many women have you asked out for a drink, ever?
How so?
I'm working on it.
If you have no money, you won't be able to pay dates and gifts for your girl. If you don't try to get a job, it shows you're a deadbeat and it will turn her off. You're trying so that's good, that's not bad
How do you show interest without coming out as creepy? I have hung out at university with one girl few times, we were pretty friendly and now I started messaging her.
there's an obvious answer to your question: Jow Forums is shit and gives contradictory advice because they have no idea what they're doing.
Ask her out
I am planning to do so sometime after New Years eve. Even though I don't really know if she is single. And I am a bit afraid she will take it only as a friendly invite. I am inexperienced so I am pretty bad at giving any signs of interest.
Do it now. Go to a coffee shop or a bar, talk about each other, ask questions about her. Throw some little flirts here and there, ask to see her nails to have a reason to hold her hand and keep holding it until she let's go, act aloof while holding her hand. Then go somewhere else to interact with each other like the park or bowling. At the end of the date go for a kiss or a hug if you're too scared, then text her when you make it home that you hope she made it safely home and that you had fun today.
Thanks for the advice. I messaged her before that we haven't seen each other for a while and asked her how is she doing. She told me she has been busy and that we might meet again at school in January.
That's good, when she's not busy ask her out and do what I told you. Just don't get hung up on this one girl, talk to others to see if there are better ones.
I am gonna definitely ask her out later. I gonna try not getting hung up, I know it is retarded thing to do but it seems like all girls I know already have someone. It always seems like I am already late to the party.
You won't know unless you try, and it's good that you're trying, good luck user.
Is this thread real?
That average looking guys struggle to get a gf? Yes, it's very real.
I think I'm average looking, and I haven't had a date in years. They're half the population but they don't seem to be anywhere, and online dating hasn't worked for me.