I'm very close to a girl who had slept around in her younger days, and it's a big deal because she is a middle eastern girl so everyone views her as "impure". Lots of people even grown women talk shit about her and wouldn't ever let their sons marry her. She was also engaged last year and they broke it off right before the wedding. She told me the guy was an alcoholic and abusive. I had a talk with her last night (pic related) and could tell she's changed for the better and just wants somebody to take a chance on her. Don't want to sound like captain save a chick over here, but could do you be with a girl like this and block out the outside noise and shit talkers? Moving out of state to get away seems like the cowardly but right move. This girl has had openly admitted her feelings for me for the last 4 years and I too brushed her off because of her past and the thought of everyone talking shit about me if I did get with her. I'm wondering at this point if I am being too harsh and care too much about others opinions
Embracing girl with a bad past
i was involved with a girl like sort of like that.rocky relationships and low self esteem and all that. she said something really similar to what you posted, she turned out to be full of shit and a really good liar and manipulator.
not saying your girl is the same, but pay attention to what she does more than what she says
Manipulative in what way? She's showed those characteristics in the past.
Yep, cause I would of fucked an entire cheerleading squad if given the opportunity.
But when girls do the same sort of sexual conquest exotic things then they are supposedly no-go sluts?
I also know I am loyal, and will commit to someone special, even if I was a man-slut at one time,
so why wouldn't the golden rule apply in trusting her ability?
They always 'want to be loved.' every single one has used that excuse. All of them, down to the last
There is nothing less good than a slut who won't admit they're a slut, man or woman-- either be the slut or flee the slut, but don't make an attempt at doing both
Anyway OP your call. It's a 50/50 coinflip, for some it's a phase and for some, a lifestyle
That said it bothering you now is a bad sign
>She told me the guy was an alcoholic and abusive.
Ok, so her problem isn't that she "slept around", the problem is that her dad was an awful piece of shit so she's been psychologically trained to seek validation from other pieces of shit. There is no universe in which a girl whose father loved and treated her well gets engaged to an alcoholic, abusive man. That just isn't how the human brain works. She slept around because she desperately needed to fill the void that her father left and being wanted, even just physically, satisfies the deep psychological need she has to be validated by guys that remind her of her father. It seems kind of dumb but thats just how the mind works. She can talk all the game she wants but I wouldn't even consider getting into a relationship with this person unless she was in therapy. Its cool that she's aware of herself these days but the fact remains that her head was significantly fucked up in a very key developmental stage and one doesn't simply "get over" that. Chances are, if she goes untreated, she'll enter into this relationship with you consciously knowing that you're a good guy and that this is a good relationship for her but subconsciously she won't be able to become truly intimate with you and will probably sabotage the relationship because she literally does not know how to be in a loving, committed relationship with a man. She has never done it before. Do NOT under any circumstance believe that just because she's grown up a little that she's suddenly going to know how to be in a good relationship. It isn't that simple. So, yeah, therapy. She needs it. That is the only way this relationship works. Really wanting it to work isn't the solution for either of you.
I would give her a shot, but she has to convert to Christianity first.
Hot dogs on the 4th and all
That's exactly where my train of thought is right now. I used to fuck around with girls, and so has everyone else. Hell, lots of other girls I know fucked around and eventually got married and had kids. Husbands have no clue. The only difference is they did a better job keeping it hush-hush then this girl.
Time to Chad up and make her your fiesty little bitch slut. 50 shades of crazy fuck
Interesting perspective
she would lie and say whatever she needed to to get what she wanted from people. she was really good at making people feel special and important so that she could take advantage of them later. end of the day she was just out for herself and she used people as a means to an end. i think she might have been a legitimate sociopath
anyway this is just a personal anecdote. but like i said just watch what she does and see if it lines up with what she says, then you know if shes full of shit or not. and dont ignore it or give too many chances if she is full of shit
also, if she has no close or long term friends and her social life seems to be a revolving door, watch out theres probably a reason
Because keeping secrets in a relationship NEVER backfires
Jesus, you guys. Don't come in and then suggest the shitty backdrop for a relationship as if this is good
Why are you like that?
That's true, but wouldn't you rather know then to not?
It's not secrets, it's just live and let live.
Golden rule.
Apply your standards to others, and have faith that they may be as good as you think you are yourself.
Quit thinking that when girls have sexual conquests that they are sluts and don't wanna settle...
I would fuck a midget/girl of every race/GILF/gangbang whatever as a conquest, but also want a serious romance, with loyalty, devotion, family.
So why not think that girls can do the same? Sex is overhyped. So what if she gangbanged a football team?
As long as she's clean, loyal to me, etc. Good for her! I hope she had fun. I'm glad she coming to me now to get her rocks off.
Pic related what my friend had to say about it. Maybe 95% of my friends or relatives would have the same view
don't waste your time on her mate
Fuck em. Do they know her? Do they have her best interests in mind? How could they be good people if they don't? My ex had a rocky past as well. She did drugs and shit. She had a hard life and wanted to kill herself. UnlikeShe was pretty much a perfect girlfriend. She respected and treated me like a human being. She didn't want my money and suggested civil union so I wouldn't get ruined by divorce. You can explain to your family how what they are doing is wrong.
How old are we talking? Are we talking “certified pre-owned” 23 year old or “craigslist mechanic’s special 2k obo” 30 year old? If shes low twenties, ok, sure, theres a chance you can make something nice out of this. She grew up a bit and realized she shouldnt be fucking every dick that gets hard for her. On the other hand, if shes like 30, then yeah thats gonna be a big NO dog. If it took her that long to realize being a thot is a bad long term plan, it not because she learned and grew up - its because her biological clock is screaming bloody murder for her to produce offspring before its too late.
Yeah but theres also a thing called “pattern recognition”. Like if theyve been fucking and sucking their way through life all along up until they met you, id call that a pretty distinct pattern. And besides, why settle if you can do better? Thats THEIR problem, not yours, unless for whatever reason you are incapable of getting a woman who hasnt been used up. Not saying you should find a virgin or some dumb shit, but you should never ever get involved with a “party girl” unless its purely for fucking and even then you are risking a “”””accidental”””” pregnancy.
She's 25. So am I
She is/was not a party girl. Pretty much just involved herself with a few guys which was eventually made public. She views herself from other people's perspective which is why she might be the way she is now, unfortunately
Sounds like she has BPD. Run.
>all that cope and mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you're not a cuck
Lmao, enjoy your used-up damaged goods slut that you settled for while other men enjoyed her for free and with no strings attached, when she was younger and more attractive.
>slept around in her younger days
Alpha cucks
Beta bucks
says the beta
Nice try reddit cuck
If you like her then go for it.
ITT user becomes a provider once she gets tired of the dick carrousel.
> damaged goods
Y'all really consider 25yo and a few past partners "damaged goods" ? *inserts thinking emoji*
>She was also engaged last year
>This girl has had openly admitted her feelings for me for the last 4 years
HAHHAHAHA
Fuck off reddit cuck.
No, that would be disgusting. When whores choose to be whores, they sign up for this kind of shit. The ride is fun from 15-25. Good luck after that.
DO NOT MARRY A WHORE, OP.
Yeah, this makes it sound like OP is the lowest tier man in her life, and she has finally fallen low enough to go for him. If OP really is as miserable and disgusting as I think he is then he should take this. Damaged goods are as good as he is ever going to get given that he is even considering this as an option. Certainly, any man worth his salt would not even be in his dilemma in the first place.
OP, just choose. Do you want to stay alone all of your life, or is it okay for you to take your entire country's sloppy seconds?
fucking hell, does her name start with R?
Lol no, why?
It's more like "we consider someone to whom casual sex is an answer to their problems to be a poor choice for a mate"
Owwww, how cute. You're actually falling for that, huh?
Quicker than quicksand
It's totally possible she's done a 180 and is disgusted by the way she used to be, but there are a billion other women out there who were never like this to begin with. That said;
It sounds like you're keen to accept and move past her history, some of this comes across as you looking for the green light to just go for it, so with that in mind:
My advice; either outright say no and let somebody else take the risk, or develop into a slow-starting relationship.
The only real way to 'reset' her would be to spend a few months dating exclusively and to not make the relationship physical for as long as you can hold out.
You need to be pretty upfront about it, too, don't be cruel or sneaky.
If she can stick at a comparatively dry relationship with you for a couple of months without going astray or going mental in any sort of way, then you'll never have to worry about her past and you can trust she's actually changed.
>Sex is overhyped. So what if she gangbanged a football team?
>As long as she's clean, loyal to me, etc. Good for her! I hope she had fun. I'm glad she coming to me now to get her rocks off.
Jesus christ. I'm glad you're in control of your life and me of mine.
>save a chick
The fact that you can't bring yourself to type "save-a-ho" tells me a lot.
You're not the type of guy that can handle a girl with emotional baggage.
If anything she sensed you had a soft spot and came your way as a backup option.
She's gone Christmas cake mode, drop her
You're pathetic.