>Match this girl on tinder, she asks if I'm looking for a hookup or an an actual relationship
>I say either to cover all my bases and get my foot in the door. In reality I really want a long-term relationship but, figure that's something better talked about in-person.
>She actually gives me her number, we setup a time to meet later that week.
>Meetup, find out we have really good chemistry both in terms of personality and in bed.
>We're already being really open with each other, sort of acting like we've been a couple for awhile throughout the entire night (Made food in her kitchen, teasing each other, took a shower together next morning, gave me a kiss when I had to leave, that sort of shit).
>I ask her what she wants out of this relationship after sex, she basically says "not to worry about that sort of stuff right now" since we're cuddling.
>Spend the night at her apartment.
>This was right before Thanksgiving so we both get busy with that. I try to text her everyday about random shit to maintain communication.
>After Thanksgiving we agree to hang out next Friday.
>Friday comes, she gets busy with other stuff. I say no problem and we setup another time for next Friday (We're both college students and I'm usually busy on Weekends with schoolwork).
>This process of setting up times to meet on Friday and her getting busy repeats for another 2 weeks.
>Still keep texting her throughout the weeks we can't meet about random shit, although I sometimes neglect texting her for an entire day or 2 if I get busy. (We never call, only text).
>Been 3 weeks since we last met and it's finals week for me. We agree to meet sometime after my finals.
Confess my feelings now or play the long game
>Middle of the week she suddenly texts me saying she's "been seeing this guy who'll probably want her exclusive, so sex is probably a no-go for this weekend".
>Tell her that's disappointing and that I've been conflating thoughts of forming an actual relationship with her for the last month, ask to meet later to discuss shit.
>Meetup finally after a month. We come to the conclusion that we both have some feelings for each other, but it wouldn't be fair to this new guy to break it off with him because of me, and that it wasn't fair for me to get unwilling get tailed along for an entire month because of a miscommunication while never getting a real shot.
>Agree that we still like talking to each other and that we still want to hang out together with no arbitrary restrictions. I specifically say I don't want to come across as "hovering" her.
>We agree to hang out on the 27th a couple of days later.
tl;dr: Hooked up with this girl, find out we have fantastic chemistry personality wise, want to date her. We can't meet for nearly a month, then right before we meet she tells me she's just started seeing this guy who'll probably want her exclusive.
This girl is basically my perfect type, but I severely fucked up by not getting across I wanted an actual relationship with her earlier on. I think I only have 2 options here:
>1. Next time we meet straight up tell her how strong my feelings are for her and that she should ditch the other guy for me, even if it's not fair.
>2. Try to hang out with her as much as possible over the next few months and hope she either ends the relationship with the other dude without my involvement, sees we have better chemistry over the course of consistently hanging out and leaves him, or a mixture of the two.
2 is obviously the far more sensible and less risky option, especially considering it seems like she hasn't been seriously seeing this guy for that long (probably only a week or two), but it might never pan out.
The fuck should I do lads?
Tell her how you feel. Doesn't have to be that you're ready for a relationship but at least that you felt good with her and that you do enjoy her company and you really would like to see her again
If it helps get the context across better, here's some of text messages where we basically reiterate what we talked about last time we met.
1.
That's what I already did last time, but I didn't convey how strong my feelings are for her and I couldn't get a sense for how strong hers are toward me either.
Do it again but properly
That's what planned on doing. The part I'm not sure about is if I should ask her to leave this guy immediately for me, or if I should just casually hangout with her for the next few months and just hope she breaks it off with him.
Bump
Don't tell her what to do, just tell her what you're offering more and let her decide. Be firm but not asshole
How should I go about doing that? I'm afraid telling her how strongly I feel, and that she should start dating me, could make her stop hanging out with me altogether, especially if the current guy she's with hears about it.
Girls don't play the long game. For them, not having a boyfriend is unacceptable. If you don't jump on it now she will jump on another dick.
Tell her as plainly and simply as you can that you feel a strong connection with her and that you think there’s potential for something more and you want to see her again, etc. Try not to vomit all your feelings on her like some high school confession. Keep it short and to the point.
Next time be honest about your intentions. Why say you also look for a hookup if you don't?
>Tell her as plainly and simply as you can that you feel a strong connection with her and that you think there’s potential for something more and you want to see her again, etc
Thing is we've already agreed to hang out together at the minimal because we enjoy talking to each other (see the texts I posted).
>Next time be honest about your intentions. Why say you also look for a hookup if you don't?
I only said that initially on Tinder just to get my foot in the door, I didn't expect her to actually give me her number, or connect with her in there way I did.
Dude you fucked on first date. How can you even delude yourself into thinking that will ever be a relationship.
It's not. A relationship is the long game, retard. And she's a slut anyway.
Imcel how do it feel my friend?
Hey you're the one crying your eyes out over a one night stand that didn't turn into a marriage. Hilarious.
>Thing is we've already agreed to hang out together at the minimal because we enjoy talking to each other (see the texts I posted).
Don't hang out with her. Drop her. This is a waste of your time.
If you ended the first date with making out, should you kiss her for a greeting when meeting a second time?
Lmfao
Seriously OP you're stupid and so is she. Be direct and tell her what you want, otherwise youre just wasting each others time.
Yes 100%. Don't start making out, just a quick kiss on the lips. It shows your intentions. If you don't do it that actually sends the wrong message.
Really hope you read this before you see her OP:
Tell her that if she wants to be with this guy then go do that and to give you a call if things don't work out with him and DONT CONTACT HER UNTIL YOU ARE CONTACTED
This is honestly the best chance you have. You can't seem needy with women or pour out your emotions and beg. Women don't respond to that, it repulses them.
By walking away and giving her the option of getting together with you in the future you come across as a guy who doesn't NEED her but wants to be with her, whereas this other guy might act needy and drive her into your arms.
You have to remember that women love in a different way than men do. Women want a stable, confident man and someone who is needy and begs is the opposite of that. She'll lose respect for you if you do that.
Now, she may stay with this guy and even get married to him or whatever and she'll never come back to you. That's a possibility.
BUT the chances of her ever choosing you are ten fold if you follow my advice, and ONLY if you follow my advice.
If you meet up with her and beg and pour out your emotions you are basically telling this girl to never consider you worthy.
Good luck OP.
this feels like bad advice
You have to be counter intuitive sometimes.
Beg her and pour your emotions out to her and see what happens lmao
>Beg her and pour your emotions out to her
And all chance is lost to any girl ever
OP here, I'm not retarded enough to beg like a bitch to her and completely pour everything out. I think I'm mainly going to stick with what said, along with a little bit of 's advice: Confidently say I think there's great chemistry between us and that, before she commits to anything serious with the other dude (again, they likely haven't been seeing each other for more than 2 weeks at this point), she should consider all her options. If she decides to go with the other dude, I'll think that's fine and I hope that we can still be unconditional friends in the mean time, and if doesn't work out to let me know.
I'm partially considering giving her some jewelry I've had lying around (I'm sure as shit not buying anything new) as a Christmas gift to show commitment after giving her that spiel, I'm not sure if that'll be seen as too much or not.
“If she decides to go with the other dude, I'll think that's fine and I hope that we can still be unconditional friends in the mean time, and if doesn't work out to let me know.”
Unconditional friends??? A man with options and know what he wants would never say this.
So youre going to stay friends with her and even give her jewelry? You do not understand women.
Based and redpilled