So yesterday i confessed to my friend that I really like her and that I've had a feeling for her since a few months...

You ask them on a date to do the actions than the words. Actions speak louder than words, that's why a majority of people get rejected when they spill all of their feelings, it scares people.

No, I was close friends with a cheerleader.

Yes, it's sensible advice, but now you're framing it in a much milder way. What you say is very different from "anyone who confesses to anyone is a creepy weirdo autist and no normal person would ever do it."

Nobody said that. Find something productive to do over winter break instead of taking your insecurities out on free internet advice forums

>What you say is very different from "anyone who confesses to anyone is a creepy weirdo autist and no normal person would ever do it."

Yeah I didn't say that. This is my post and when a person is confessing in their mind it is romantic and well-meaning and nice and sugar and spice and everything. But to the person on the receiving end it is extremely uncomfortable and off-putting and becomes this black cloud of a burden on them where they're put in charge of someone's emotional well-being after this person put WAY too much effort into what should have been a casual "hey whats up wanna go see Aquaman ith me this weekend" text.

It's not mean or creepy or whatever, at least not in the intent but it is EXTREMELY misguided.

>What you say is very different from "anyone who confesses to anyone is a creepy weirdo autist and no normal person would ever do it."

Not everyone who confesses is an autist. But autists and the socially stunted more than any other group tend to confess, whereas socially well-adjusted people ask girls on dates or flirt and escalate naturally.

This is likely because you have no concept of how real world relationships actually work, and instead you get your vision of relationships and dating from popular media (movies, TV shows, anime), in which scenes where the male confesses his pent up attraction to the girl he has been secretly in love with are a common trope.

As the guy who originally asked what's the diffrerence, now i finally got it.

Sigh. I don't know if you're the person I spoke to a few days ago, but I've received a double digit number of confessions from people from all kinds of social strata and all walks of life, including some abrupt "I'm in love with you"s. I always find it flattering and have never once been creeped out. Just because I'm not like some needlessly judgmental and bitchy Mean Girls character doesn't mean I know nothing about the real world or human relationships.

>and instead you get your vision of relationships and dating from popular media (movies, TV shows, anime), in which scenes where the male confesses his pent up attraction to the girl he has been secretly in love with are a common trope.

not the guy you're replying to but it's weird because I watch loads of gay anime and modern media and whatever else and I've NEVER seen a guy confess to a girl. When it happens it's usually in anime ad it's ALWAYS the girl confessing to the guy never the other way around. The guy is just like "ew boobies I can't touch those until I'm 35 years old and a respected salaryman".

So I've no idea where people are getting this idea from.

Even my friends and myself went through that awkward phase when we were 16, but this was a lifetime ago so there was no Jow Forums to ask for anonymous advice so reall it was trial and error and luckily for me I figured out on my own but I had friends who were like buying gold jewellery and shit to girls who were just like in their English class or whatever

>I always find it flattering and have never once been creeped out.

That's great. And how many of the people who confessed to you did you actually end up dating?

I guarantee you have a harem of orbiters.

Nope, boat has sailed. She wants to ridr a different cock.

You failed due to waiting for the perfect opportunity. Sucka ass bitch.

One is you taking action, the other is asking her to take action. Being passive is not how you impress women, ever.

I remember it being a common trope in cartoons when I was growing up. One of the characters would have a crush on another and would feel the need to confess those feelings. Plus many romance movies make the confession an important dramatic part of the plot. It doesn’t even matter whether the man or woman does the confessing, what matters is that they’re showing a confession as the “normal” way to show one’s feelings

Most of them are either gay guys (I'm straight) or girls that have boyfriends, so not many. Two of them.

>It doesn’t even matter whether the man or woman does the confessing, what matters is that they’re showing a confession as the “normal” way to show one’s feelings

Seems like that's actually a pretty big deal about which gender is doing the confessing, cause we have a generation of guys who do things like confessing to girls and also, semi-unrelated, wait around for their dream partner to romantically lose their virginity to.

It's like a very mild form of being trans or something

>very mild form of being trans
I mean we’re all speculating here but you’re overthinking this. Media might not even play into it, it could just be young people not understanding how to deal with their emotions constructively yet

>we have a generation of guys who do things like confessing to girls and also, semi-unrelated, wait around for their dream partner to romantically lose their virginity to.

This is the fundamental problem. I am convinced this is a very large part of where incels come from. Men who did not have the correct male influences in their life to teach them the way in which men are supposed to approach dating. They do not understand that female dating strategies are different to male ones. They think that because no girl has "confessed feelings" to them that they must be ugly. They have no comprehension of the way female attraction works, and why behaving like a woman in the dating world is the most profoundly unattractive thing a man can do.

I actually believe this is right. I don't know if you know who Corey Wayne is, but he explains the reason why majority guys do the whole dating scene wrong is because they believe movies such as confessing,"the one", and warming up to girl by becoming their friend and then dating them when they confess. That's why he thoroughly explains why it's all bullshit and gives his dating skills.

Absolutely. This is a lesson that took me a long time to learn and, in fact, the first time someone told me "why don't you just ask a girl out" I didn't even really understand what I was being told. I didn't understand the concept that men need to court women, and that women usually aren't fully attracted to a man until AFTER she has been approached by him and dated him.

Today's men are being conditioned to think they need the perfect moment, the perfect aligning of the stars before they can magically have the girl they want fall into their arms. And if they don't get over the hump and realize the error of their ways in high school like most kids do, then they continue to carry on these terrible habits into adulthood.

Yeah that's true, I once dated a girl who told me she wasnt fully attracted with me when we first met, not until we started to go on dates and knowing each other more. The best thing a guy can do is just ask a girl out on date and try to know each other and have fun. Though this isn't fail proof, it's only possible if she has some type of attraction towards you and you don't do things to turn her off.

Thats a soft no.

Nope. If she's telling you that her feelings are gone, they're gone. She's moved on, probably because you wouldn't take a hint. Or she's really bad at giving hints. I mean, still be friends with her, ife is a funny thing, but don't get your hopes up either.

You dumb fucking poncebucket. They just suggested he take action earlier.
Fuck, goddamn idiot morons like you are why reason never flies on Jow Forums. They mentioned one thing and you disparage the whole board.

I sincerely want you to go fuck yourself with the leavings you find in a gas station bathroom.