How do i tell my therapist that i love her?

how do i tell my therapist that i love her?

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You don't.

Bro you literally pay her to be nice to you.

shut up
she isnt even nice to me

She’s just a prostitute for your brain; it’s basically the first time a girl payed attention to you and it’s tripping your “she cares” strings.

Then why the fuck you want to date her then?

she keeps telling me that i need to otrust her and that she wants to help me and she seems geniuenly happy when something good happens or when she is able to help
plus i have seen her unconsciuosly do things that prove this isnt just some lie and get paid thing fo her and she geniunely cares
she isnt a normal therapist, im a patient at a psichatric institution so i get lo observe them pretty much all day which i do

because she is really cute and she tries to hide it and seem proffessional but i can look through it which makes her even cuter
and she is very motherly too and im attracted to that

How old are you, how old is she? Is she in a relationship? Do you know anything about her or is the relationship completely one sided?

She is happy because it means her work is paying off you dumb fuck.

dont. she knows you but you donot know her. just because she makes u feel good and probably knows what to say to you doesnt mean shit. its her job to do those things. relax.

>im a patient at a psichatric institution
I'm sure she cares about your well being and wants you to get better. I don't think she wants to date you. If she did it would be an ethical violation because you are a protected individual.
Try to get better okay? Girls can come later.

>I can see trough her
>she is motherly and I'm attracted to that

You have mommy issues and on top of that you think that you can see through a person who professionally deals with human psychology and probably is a master of hiding her own. Seems fucking legit man.

we are the same age, im 26 years old
she tries not to mention her private life but since she spends the weekend babysitting her 1 year old nephew or she goes out with her friends who later crash at her place (she is the oldest of the group, probably the only one with her own place or a place big enough) my guess is no
i guess i know as much about her as she knows about me, im not exactly open during therapy

>You have mommy issues
i dont and she isnt motherly to me, there are a lot of teenagers there
i actually like it more when she acts a little childish like ho she skips a little and runs when she is happy and rushing somewhere or when she sits with her legs in the chair like a school girl and then she gets embarrassed when she realizes she is doing it
or when we argue and she smiles and acts stubbbors but i cant get mad because its too funny

i know that
it doesnt mean i cant have feelings for her anyways

she doesnt know what to say, nobody there gets me at all.
Its not a first girl i have seen outside my cave situation

I won't deny you're in love, or that it's impossible for someone to have feelings for their patient. I just think the outcome of you expressing it will likely be negative.

well i could get better and become a really attractive guy and go through the treatment until im let go and then ask her out right?

You say the words "I", "love" and "you" to her. In that order.

This was my first thought, but if you're in therapy it's probably healthier to let it out. It's her job to deal with it.

>how do i tell my therapist that i love her?
>im a patient at a psichatric institution

Okay brainlet, you try asking your therapist out, see how that goes for you. Just don't flip out and start crying when she says no okay? And make sure not to bite anyone or shit yourself or anything when they put you in the straight jacket afterwards.

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Hey OP, this is actually very common; however more so with female clients and male therapists. I've made the mistake that you're asking her to make, and I promise you it doesn't end well for either of you.

You need to understand that it is not her that makes you feel that there is a "best" in you to be brought out, but that she is simply a mirror to have a dialogue with, that can ease you into the difficult conversations you need to have with yourself. The progress you may feel is not because she is "motherly" to you, its because you're finally talking with yourself and you simply needed to hear some tough truths in a more palatable way. You're not in love with her, you're in a period of personal growth and you associate it with her.

I hope you don't believe others about her simply being "paid to be nice." But know that her goal is to get you to where you don't need her anymore, and if you start emotionally latching onto her it might make progress difficult for the both of you.

i dont have down syndrome, i just have some disorders
most people there are pretty normal

>most people there are pretty normal

Okay son, whatever you say.

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She is in a position of power over you. It would be unethical for her to ever date you. Even after you are better.
I'm sorry but it just won't work out. Focus on getting better. You will find that your feelings for her fade over time as they do for all of us.

you are projecting a bit too much in me
i get maybe 20 minutes of therapy a week and its not always with her
i mostly chat and joke and try to contribute when she is talking to other people, we only get group therapy, i only had one on one therapy with her once when i was having an episode and honetly it didnt whent well and i had one on one therapy with another therapist there during another episode and was miles better

not really, im quite unruly
i shut down when i dont like the conversation, i question her and push her when i dont agree with what she is saying and sometimes i take control during my sessions just for the lols

You have autism. Autistic people have a very difficult time discerning people being friendly to them and people loving them. I have autism and when people make eye contact with me I subconsciously assume they're attracted to me, but I keep myself in check by reminding myself that this is just an autism thing.

I'm not making it up either, this is something a lot of social workers have to deal with because of working with people with autism, asperger's, or down's syndrome. They have to be really fucking careful or else they accidentally make their client get horny for them. I assume your therapist is new and hasn't been working long, because these are pitfalls therapists have to overcome early on, they're mistakes they don't make later in their careers

i dont have autism and i dont assume she loves me or even likes me
but thats not a probblem, if she doesnt like me now i can make her like me by becoming more attractive and desirable
even then she may not want to date me but she would at least like me back and that would be great because it has never happenned before

Dude I don't want to start ripping in to you, but regardless of your looks you are pretty far being attractive. You're 26 in a mental ward in love with a woman paid to see you for 20 minutes a week. Your obsessed with her because she's the only thing around you to keep you from focusing on your own problems. Fucking get over it dude, you're acting like a kid.

you seem really self aware for an autist

More deflections. Good luck to you.

desirability isnt all about looks and attractiveness isnt completely about looks either and im not ugly
this isnt the 50s when a girl needed her dad to find her a doctor to marry, if i can get my shit together to the point that im not hard to look at and i have enough income to take a girl out and show her a good time i may have a chance with her
its not like there is a line for her out there as far as im aware, she is not perfect either

>not really, im quite unruly
This is a bad trait.
>i shut down when i dont like the conversation, i question her and push her when i dont agree with what she is saying and sometimes i take control during my sessions just for the lols
These are all reasons it would be terrible for you to try and date her.

Dating your Therapist is never a good idea but it is technically her responsibility to make sure that never happens. My Therapist is really attractive to me but I don't love her and honestly you probably don't love her either you just have really strong feelings for her.

I wouldn't now because I know the response will be no
But I have a long time to work my way there, I'm only 6 months in and average patient spends 2 to 4 years inside
And once you are out you are treated like you never set foot inside, people who leave or get kicked out are not allowed neat the place or the patients and people who succeed can only show up once a month for a thing they do and give advice through a WhatsApp group

Don't. She is payed to like you.

whats the difference between dtrong feelings and love?

I think if you love them you really want to be with them forever even if they make you upset sometimes. If she didn't validate you all the time would you still like her?

>she is very motherly too and im attracted to that
This is a problem with many men in our age.
A product of mommy issues, single-mother households, and/or a plethora of societal problems.

On top of that you're legit autistic.
user don't do It, life isn't like a 2000s romcom

she doesnt validate me like 90% of the time

Why do people keep calling me autistic, if you have any questions just ask them instead of assuming shit. Let's have an open discussion I have only been honest so far
I already admitted if I asked now she would say no that's why I'm planning on getting well before so I don't need to be her patient and so I have a better chance I just don't know how I'm even supposed to ask her out or let her know I'm interested, I feel that addressing it at the hospital would be akward as ruck

Shrink here.

You tell her and if you have someone psychodynamically oriented you work through the transference. I mean, nothing is going to happen, but its not an uncommon experience in therapy and it can be healing to process it. You'll use her as a transitional object, score your corrective emotional experience, and move on with your life.

Good, we're there to effect change, not to make you feel good.

You're observing either students or the kinds of people who end up taking the short money at institutions. She's either one of the ones who will still be in the business in a decade or she's further up the chain.

Sure, you can have feelings, but they're echoes of the things that underly your mental illness. Be open or stop wasting your time.

Sure, but professional ethics mean you've got seven years to wait after termination. If she's any good it'll still be a hard no because that rule isn't "don't fuck your patients, retard" because the old men who fucked their patients got to be a part of the vote.

>in an institution
>20 min/wk
>not always the same therapist

Go elsewhere. Whoever is funding your treatment is being fleeced.

Ahh, there it is. That control you feel? Its ersatz. What you think is control is her letting up when its clear your resistance is at the fore.

Patients are like kids. Normal people don't want to fuck their kids. It doesn't really matter how good the kid is or how hot they become, they're still your kids.

That kind of containment suggests that her boundaries are gonna be pretty solid.

On the contrary, I'd say the purest form of love is the love where you're happy for them and want them to be happy, even if it's not with you.

>Why do people keep calling me autistic
Welcome to Jow Forums.

>What you think is control is her letting up when its clear your resistance is at the fore.
but i actually managed to expose another therapist in her clear proffessional ignorance and she got really mad and closed my session right there infront of everyone and it was clear i managed to shame her infront of everyone
she was mean to me after that but now she is gone so who cares

That's a real good way to have her remove you from her patient list. And she probably should. It's not healthy for you to develop an obsession with her. (Which it probably is, instead of love, because she's paid to be empathetic and listen to you, dipshit)

>This is a problem with many men in our age.
I have a pregnant fetish and like pretending the women I fap to are my mommy. Is this common then? Why are there so many like us?

Even the picture you selected is telling.

and what exactly makes me obsessed?
its not like she is the only woman im attracted to, im a man not a boy, i dont get a crush on some girl just because she rememberss my nme and asked me to play tag
its just that she is really something else and she hits ll the right spots for me, im not going to compare her to other patients because thats obviously not fair and im not going to compare her to other therapists either because i dont find them attractive
but if i met her on a different setting on a completely different scenario it would be quite difficult to stop thinking of her

that im self aware enough to laugh at myself?
i admit its not ideal and a bit pathetic but what the hell im confient enough to try to get what i want regardless

It's forbidden love user don't do it.

>in front of everyone
What the hell kind of institutions are you at?

group therapy?

She isn't interested because you're a potential and very credible threat simply because you're a patient. Sorry d00d, but you already lost as soon as you met her.

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Most professional associations governing therapists and the like are very severe on patient-client relationships even years after treatment has ended. Iirc there's a wait time of 2 years for psychologists where I live, even then, if you don't tell the ethics committee you're banging or getting banged by a former client you're going to get a lot of suspicion.

Go find someon eelse.

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Doesn't really matter how you do it if you choose to. Harsh reality, but you're 100% fucked if you're expecting reciprocity.

>Patients are like kids
And how do I break that conditioning?
I know it sounds immature because it's only appealing to her sexuality but I could work out at the very least, I want her to see me like a man
Throw me a bone, I have been there six months and it's not getting ant better, I really want to be with her

>That control you feel? Its ersatz. What you think is control is her letting up when its clear your resistance is at the fore.

could you explain that more?

ersatz is basically a fake thing, an imitation. He's saying you don't really have any control there. The therapist is just trying different ways of helping and he thinks it's him changing her instead of her just changing strategy to adapt to his childishness.

I think the shrink could be of more help here, but that's what I got from it.

yea i got that much xD

thx tho senpai

So you are saying that the only reason I like her is because she let's me take control like that when I feel like I'm not being heard or treated fairly?

whoah I ain't a therapist, I have no fucking idea.

If Tony Soprano can't get with his therapist I doubt you can OP

You can't, you retard. There are ethical principles in the profession that she has to adhere to if she doesn't want to lose her license. I'm a shrink and I can tell you absolutely no one is worth our fucking license. We can't get personally involved with patients, even as friends, so you're just gonna have to move on.

My therapist used to wear heels everytime, she'd cross her legs in front of me and dangle the heel with her toes while chatting with me. Sometimes she'd take her foot out completely by accident but just for a moment. She has some fucking sexy feet. I didn't understand footfags until the days she'd start doing that shit. Most of the times I'd just watch her feet for the whole session and avoid eye contact. She was truly a hottie

wait wait you shut down when you dont like the conversation...?

...'you take control just for the lols'

user you sound like you're describing yourself as an anime character or something. Im questioning if i can take you seriously after reading this. and i'm also sensing some insecurity here. not trying to be personal but this an advice thread so I"d assume you don't mind me saying you sound like an insecure teenager trying to look bigger than they are by bragging about how no one has power over them.

also you're saying that you only see her 20 minutes a week? oh please dude. this is called infatuation. that shit goes just as quickly as it comes.

do what you want. Im just saying im not convinced you even know who she is and thats already at least a yellow flag.

earlier this year at my workplace there were tons of new people i had to train and there were 2 or 3 guys who asked me out solely because i was interacting with them it made no sense. i am literally forced to interact with you that doesn't mean i like you. same with uber drivers. i only talke to the drivers cause they are forcing me to talk i dont actually want to go out with them.

i dont beleive in being a dick though just because im user. i dont blame you for maybe thinking she likes you. and no you dont have autism people throw that word around like candy these days. its very very easy to mistake friendliness for flirting it happens all the time.

I don't only see her 20 minutes a week, I spend most of the day near her but I only get 20 minutes of therapy
It doesn't mean that we don't talk outside therapy, she is supposed to be around us there is always a therapist near us and nobody is allowed to be alone or unsupervised not even in the bathroom
And I'm not a fucking anime character I just don't let people walk all over me even if I have to he an asshole about it
Nobody is in love with you just because they want to fuck you, those Uber drivers try the same shit on anyone hoping some girl is drunk enough to say yes get your ego in check please

Bad idea. You are changeing the relationship between the two of you and affecting her ability to treat you.

isnt keeping it quiet essentially the same?

>you taking control
lmfao! you know she gets paid regardless of what autistic shenanigans you THINK you're pulling, righg?

Why are you so mean?

>Why people are so mean in Jow Forums

No it prevents you from being an objectionably known liability combined with the sheer social awkwardness of knowing someone loves you and you do not or cannot love back. Its just the circumstances here which makes this a bad idea. Really that's just gonna get OP a new therapist and/or group to be with in the long run. This is one of the few things you should not share with them because it won't make things better. Telling someone else, not us user's per se but other mental health professionals, can be of benefit.

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It's why you MGTOW and never go back, women are slowly killing men at a constant pace.

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Roses are red
Violets are blue
You make my dick hard
Because I love you