I just had this exchange with my girlfriend and I'm not sure if I'm blowing things out of proportion

I just had this exchange with my girlfriend and I'm not sure if I'm blowing things out of proportion.

My girlfriend and I don't have very many common interests so lately we've been looking for a mutual hobby of sorts We got into shooting a couple months ago and she asked if we could go some time during the holidays. I was a bit busy with some things that came up unexpectedly so she went with a some of her friends. At the range, one of the instructors came up to her and they started talking. They talked for a bit and he asked her if she had anybody she shot with regularly and she answered no. The instructor gave her his personal number and told her to call him if she ever wanted to go again sometime. She later called me and told me what happened and said she was going to give him a call back. I got pretty upset at her and we haven't spoken since.

So I don't have a problem with her going with her friends because I was busy. But I have a problem with her not telling the guy that she does have some who she "regularly shoots with", not to mention I'm her boyfriend, and accepting an instructors personal number. I also get that it's kind of presumptuous of a girl to tell every guy that is friendly with her that she's dating, but I feel like if I had been there with her or if the instructor knew she was taken he never would have given her his number.

We're both early twenties and have been dating for a little over 2 years.

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Did you tell her how you truly feel about this? Women tend to accept numbers because they don't want to be mean and don't want the guy to go crazy at them for not accepting it.

Eh, it's come to something like this then it might just be slowly simmering toward its end. These sorts of conflicts are usually a sign that communication is weak in the relationship overall, that one side wants out/to 'explore', or that one side is unsatisfied but won't bring it up vocally. Could also represent mind gaming and that's usually an instant 100% full ghost from this user. Ain't nobody got time for mind games, fucken thots

So she's not allowed to hang out with other guys? You really think you own her just because she's your girlfriend? Man grow the fuck up. This is 2018, women aren't your slaves anymore. If you can't handle a sexually free and liberated woman, maybe you should go back to jerking off your little dick.

gr8 b8 m8 i r8 it 8/8

> Did you tell her how you truly feel about this?

Well not in this particular case but we have had issues in the past with her trying to get friendly with some ex friends of mine. We talked that one out and I feel like she has a pretty good idea of what I would expect from this kind of situation.

> Women tend to accept numbers because they don't want to be mean and don't want the guy to go crazy at them for not accepting it.

She wants to give him a call back to go again sometime. She was also a bit iffy about inviting me to go with them. She said "I guess you can come if you want"

/thread

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This. It's written on the wall. it's basically over for her. She's just now showing signs of how little respect she has and how emotionally prepared she is to jump ship

Just break up now or watch this slowly get more disrespectful

>if you want
Yeeeeah it's over mate. You could let her go and then come back to you having washed another dood's spooge out or off of her, or you could just bite the bullet, dodge all risks and find a girl who isn't so eager to meet new guys without you.

My girlfriend A) pretty much stonewalls most guys who want her number, and B) always tells me when she's invited out, by whom and for what.
She also tells me anytime she's given her number out and usually, what sorts of tones people take with her. The last guy who hit her with the "I wanna go further with you" card got ghosted.
Serious, man-- find you a girl who makes it work instead of one who makes YOU work for her, and for it.

> communication is weak in the relationship overall

I don't know about that one. I've always thought we've been pretty good on communication and have talked our way through some tough problems. My issue is that she kind of has trouble applying things she's already learned to new situations. Every time she does something that upsets me, I kind of feel like I have to rebuild the wheel and explain why I was hurt by what she did rather than her being able to think "He didn't like this similar thing last time so I guess doing this would also upset him."

Sorry, gonna have to agree with this insightful user. OP sounds like a tyrannical asshole.

>some ex friends of mine
What do you mean friendly with them? You aren't being controlling are you? You need to sit her down and tell her what you told us. Say it in a non-angry,controlling way. Keep persuading her to tell you what she feels and thinks about the relationship. Tell her you love her and want to get to the bottom of it. If she says "its nothing", keep persuading her to tell you how she feels and say how you love her. If she keeps saying no, tell her you love her and to tell you when she's ready to talk because you care for her. If nothing happens after this, sorry dude but there's nothing else you can do.

> What do you mean friendly with them?

There were some people I had a falling out with a while back. One of her close friends also isn't on very good terms with them. She didn't know them well and I told her that I didn't want to associate with them anymore.

Out of nowhere one guy starts trying to hang out with her more and more and she told me it was weird because she hardly know him. Later on her friends keep telling her it's because he has a thing for her. I then asked her to stop trying to get to know him better, again she hardly knew him to begin with, and it would put my mind at ease if these people were out of my life.

This guy in particular has done some hurtful things to me and her friend in the past and I told her that he hasn't changed at it was a matter of time before it happened to her too. We had a fight about it for a couple weeks but during that time the guy pulled something on her friend and she came around and we talked it through.

Newsflash : Girls like sex. If a hot guy is talking to her of course she's not gonna mention her boyfriend. If you were being hit on by a hot girl would you mention you had a girlfriend? Of course not.

>You need to sit her down and tell her what you told us.

Still OP I just forgot to add this to the response I already gave.

So I don't have a problem with her meeting new guys and whatever. She actually had a brief period where she admitted she had developed a bit of a crush on someone else but I was cool with it and let the crush run its course.

But I'm just upset by the fact that she accepted this guys number and plans to call him back and told him she didn't have someone to shoot with. It was particularly hurtful because this was a thing we picked up together to get some more mutual interests and I have no idea why she would tell someone she doesn't have a shooting partner.

But she's a bit slow in the regard that I have to spell everything out for her. I feel like she isn't the best at listening to me or taking my problems into consideration. And once she does come around she does the exact same thing later on except one variable has changed and I have to start with step one with why I think what she's doing is not okay.

You don't know me and you have a narrow view of the world if you think that's how everyone acts.

>> Did you tell her how you truly feel about this?
>Well not in this particular case
>Every time she does something that upsets me, I kind of feel like I have to rebuild the wheel and explain why I was hurt by what she did rather than her being able to think "He didn't like this similar thing last time so I guess doing this would also upset him."
>I have to start with step one with why I think what she's doing is not okay.
Stop expecting her to read your mind. Actually communicate with her why you're upset instead of going "oh she should know why because something vaguely similar happened before." That's a passive-aggressive, stereotypically womanly move to assume your partner should know why you're mad.

Oh really? I've been in relationships with over 13 different guys now and let me tell you, nobody stays committed nowadays except maybe Christians and old people. If you only have sex with one person you have a boring sex life and you'll regret it when you're older. Sex isn't even that big of a deal, it's like a massage and sleeping with other guys helps me manage my stress so I'm a better girlfriend to my boyfriend. I tell my boyfriends I'm faithful to them to keep them happy but I sleep with other guys from time to time because that's the only way to stay sane in a long term relationship, and I'm sure he's getting side-pussy as well. That's just the way relationships work little buddy.

Well dude you have to tell her all of this to her. I never told my ex anything because I was scared to do it, and when she did things that made me feel bad, I started resenting her and started more arguments with her. Don't assume she can read minds, please tell her your feelings.

> Stop expecting her to read your mind.

I'm not. Almost this exact same scenario has happened before and when we were talking about it I fleshed out what I thought was wrong about what she had done. Every time we have this type of argument and we are able to get to the same page I ask her to keep the things we talked about in mind so we don't have to fight about things that are essentially the same. So when I said "Not in this particular case" I meant I haven't specifically told her what I didn't like about what she did with an instructor at a shooting range. But what was in essence a different conversation has already taken place and I was expecting she could apply some critical thinking and reason it out in the future.

It's called learning and it's a thing that humans do. Try it sometime.

>It's called learning and it's a thing that humans do. Try it sometime
Fuck this is a troll thread isn't it? I don't know why else you would add bait like that.
On the off chance it's not, please communicate with your gf. I'm sure she can think critically and already suspects you're mad because you're jealous of the other guy, but actually tell her so you can talk to her about it. Hell, talk to her about how she doesn't listen as well.

this. let her fuck this dude, get it out of her system. if she really cares about you she won't leave.

Wow you're retarded

Unless your girlfriend is a retard she should realize this guy is interested in her.

You are not being silly. She is either a retard or playing dumb. Or both. I don't know, dude. You said you shoot together, which if that is true, she lied to the guy because she was flirting with him.

My woman would never take the number of another man. Never call him up. Never play dumb like 'hurr hurr i don't understand waht you mean he just wanna shut the shit with me hurrde hurr.'

Come on. Let's be rational here. He wants to put his pistol in your girl's holster. She is clearly interested. She got caught flirting with the guy (whether you consider that cheating is up to you) and is trying to play it off. Fuck that. Call her out on it. Decide if it crosses a line for you.

For me, I'd dump her ass. Not because she flirted with the guy, but because she tried to act stupid. Either she is undermining your intelligence or trying to play coy about her own. Either way it is a deal breaker for me. Plenty more fish than that stupid cunt of a girl you're dating now.

I'm sure you like to explain to people the exact same thing over and over again.

"Oh did stabbing you with a sword hurt? Can I try again with a knife and see if that's different? What about a dagger? Or a bayonet?" At a certain you have to realize you're repeating the same shit over and over again and you have to ask "If stabbing me with a sword wasn't okay why don't you apply some critical thinking and make the connection that stabbing with a knife isn't okay either"

Also I never said I didn't talk to her. We've talked through all of our problems in the two years we've dated but at a certain you have to think how many times do I have to repeat the same thing over and over again?

> Hell, talk to her about how she doesn't listen as well.

Based on how I've said multiple times in this thread, what makes you think talking to her about her not listening is going to work? Hell, what makes you think I haven't already brought it up.

Just run that scenario in your mind. Talking to someone because they're not good at listening. How long before the next time you talk to them because they're not good at listening?

You're a dumbass. If it works for you than that's fine. You do you. But that isn't how 95% of relationships work.

I'd sooner shoot myself in the head than live in some fucked up reality where this massive cope you've built were the truth.

yeah this is bait, fuck off

> I sleep with other guys from time to time because that's the only way to stay sane in a long term relationship, and I'm sure he's getting side-pussy as well.

You're cheating on your boyfriend under the assumption that he's also sleeping around and without talking about it you've reached the conclusion that you both agreed it's alright?

You're a whore. Unironically kill yourself. You don't deserve him.

You're just a dumbass with a narrow view of the world.

Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night? My girlfriend and I are planning on being married. Been dating only 2 years, but are each other first. We are in a LDR but I buy us plane tickets to see each other every month since her Cost of Living is ~3x mine.

We would never sleep with anybody else.

We would never use this pathetic excuse.

You sound like human trash who is trying to rationalize their decisions so you don't neck yourself. People like you disgust me, yet make me feel so happy I live up to my own morals.

And no, I'm not religious. No, I'm not old. I just have a strong sense of principle and morality because I don't want to regret my decisions when I am an old man.

Trash.

Get new material, buddy

Am I wrong? No matter how you cut it you're incapable of factoring the experiences of others, hence narrow.

>you're incapable of factoring the experiences of others
hey, we have something in common :)

You and I are about as far apart in morals as two humans could possibly get.

Kill yourself. You're wasting air.

>he replied to himself
kek

top bait larping the woman in your cuck fantasy

People have actually fallen for this weak ass b8

SAGE

Kekosaurus rex!

OMG THAT MADE ME LITERALLY BURST OUT LAUGHING

This relationship will last. And if not it will end nice and clean. You got a golden holy gf user, I envy you.

I would you manwhore. Disgusting.

These baits gonna kill me. Bahahaha.

Ok that bait was bad. Not even a giggle out of me. 0/10 booooooo!

Basically what this user said.

Maybe she'll come around and realize why this hurt your feelings, but if she didn't want to involve you to begin with, chances are she didn't think that much of you in the first place.

But I don't know her, so idk. I'd try to talk about it first. Just don't ever let her turn this around on you because you have a legitimate reason to feel upset, and she might have a reason to act the way she did too. You'll only find out by communicating.

Everything is bait to the illiterate. Kill yourself.