I met a guy online back in the fall of last year. When we first met, I initially assumed he was flirting with me, i.e. he was very enthusiastic every time we'd talk, he'd say very sweet things to me, you get the idea. Months in though, he became colder and colder to me. He would say nasty things about me in group calls, not to my face per se but insult me by insulting my principles/lifestyle to his friends. He also started dating other women on and off.
A few days ago I was asked out by a different guy who lives a relatively short distance from me. I've made plans to go out with him. However, the first guy (who doesn't know this) now seems to want me back, i.e. he's commenting on a lot of my FB posts and PMing me every so often. Keep in mind this first guy lives very far away from me and every chance we've had to see each other IRL hasn't followed through, meaning he's most definitely a flake.
Should I tell this first guy about my upcoming date just to get him off my back for good?
You're a woman with options. This is not going to be a good place to find advice. That being said, I bet the first guy liked your attention more than anything else though - when you started focusing on the new guy, something probably shifted in the way you behaved towards him, and he has started to act in a way to refocus your attention on him. Fuck him (not literally) and go out with the new guy.
Camden Garcia
That's exactly what you deserve for friend zoning guys.
Stop wasting everyone's time - very much including your own - and start being straightforward. Date the guy that seems the best for a proper relationship and get rid of the other one. Yes, cut all ties, fucking get rid of them.
In the future, do NOT keep anyone around as your "back up". It's fucking disrespectful and you'd probably be crying about "mmmmuuuhh paaaatriarrchyyyy" if someone did that to you. If you like someone, get off your fat ass and tell them. Don't sit around for them to "woo" you, because you're only leaving yourself open to pick up artists when you do that, anyways.
Hunter Diaz
This is your thread, isn't it? lol
James Gutierrez
Stop being a thot. Oh wait you cant. Kys.
Jayden Williams
I wasn't friendzoning him at all; in fact, if anything he was friendzoning me by not catching on to my advances and putting off seeing me. Out of the blue he decided I was someone worth insulting and putting down, then out of nowhere he decides he wants to be friendly again (I should have mentioned, we stopped talking in calls weeks ago, but now he's doing whatever he can to get my attention).
I want to tell him I'm going to date this other guy just to spite him. "You snooze you lose", that kind of thing.
Kevin Rivera
>not catching my advances
Yeah that one time you looked with sexy eyes at him when he didnt look was soooo obvious. What an asshole. You go queeeeeeens. Fuck men. Go lesbo. Gurl powah!
Henry Garcia
No? Neither is this guy before you ask another dumbass question...
James Brooks
Why do you need to play these dumb games. Are you looking to find love or do you just want to get a kick out of psychological crap? Pick a guy and dump the other definitively. You're frustrating me by even typing these things, I'm sorry but stop being such a woman. For everyone's sakes. Those dudes, your own, us. Simplify this shit, please.
Cameron Edwards
ITT: triggered incels
Jacob Ramirez
You sound like an incel who sees sings everywhere.
Its easy. Value how he treats avg girl, thats how he will treat you. Like it or not its your business.
Dylan Stewart
>Value how he treats avg girl, thats how he will treat you. What Why would I treat randoms the same as I treat my life partner
Asher Perez
I have a history of guys running away from me whenever I try to be intimate with them. Of course I'm insecure.
Leo Miller
Here's the thing: the guy I know from the internet (first guy) is cold and cruel to everyone else in his life, which makes me suspect he will be cold and cruel to me as well. In fact, he already is to some degree, which is why I'm highly suspicious of him reaching out to me just now.
BTW he doesn't know this other dude whom I'm seeing in a few days exists.
Isaiah Fisher
Yes, go with guy B. Why would you want to be with someone who verbally abuses you over seemingly no reason?
Henry Stewart
What the fuck? Depends on what you want homegirl, but I'd just block the piece of shit and go out with the second guy.
Jeremiah King
There are two things which may or may not be going on with guy A, either 1. his autism (he told me he's on the spectrum) makes it difficult for him to notice when he's being an asshole, so he's oblivious to his own behaviours, or 2. he's fully aware of what he's doing, and keeps doing it because he wants me to submit to him (covert narcissism, basically). Either way, it takes a huge emotional toll on me. Whether he's aware of this or not doesn't really matter at this point.
I'd rather confront him about it. If I block him, he may be confused and wonder why I would do such a thing (assuming he isn't aware of how his cruelty is affecting me).
Lincoln Bell
Get them both those buttplugs the you control with an app.
Chase Rogers
You have to decide for yourself who is better for you. Do you even know this new guy very well? Might be an idea to just be friends with both of them for a while until you know them better.
Justin Fisher
To be honest, I don't even want to "be" with guy B, I'm just going for a quick fling. I've known him on FB for a long time (eight years) but this is the first time we're meeting IRL.
Logan Wright
It doesn't sound like you like Guy A that much anymore and you aren't even seeing each other anyway. What's the issue? You still like him in some way?
Asher Baker
It's more the fact that he's trying to weasel his way back into my life despite me giving him the silent treatment for a few weeks. I'm on the fence as to whether or not I should just tell him how I feel about him, how he's made me feel like shit, how I question whether or not he truly values me as a person vs. he just wants to turn me into his mental slave, etc.
Ayden Brown
Oh, alright, I get you, girl. How about this? Just let it out and tell him all of that. Let him respond so you know the reason is clear and then tell him to fuck off and block his sorry ass.
Ayden Perry
The truth is always the best answer in all situations. Tell him how he made you feel and don't be subtle about it. Even if you never speak to him again, he deserves to know where he went wrong so he doesn't hurt anyone like this ever again... If he's smart enough to understand that.
He might deny it at first but it will sink in eventually. You'll do him and yourself some good. Enjoy your time with Guy B, just be clear that you're only looking for a little fun so he doesn't get hurt wanting something more.
