Does the social hierarchy go away after high school...

Some people in high school have it figured out better than others so they differentiate. A lot of kids just self segregate.

I just don't wanna make the same mistakes in college that i did in High School and I don't know how to stop it. How long until I become a social outcast in college just like one in HS?
There's just some things you can not change about yourself. No matter how Jow Forums you get you will always be introverted and anxious. I got the short end of the stick on many life dice rolls. I come from a very poor family, I'm 5'6, I'm introverted, I'm depressed, Father died when I was 9 so I had no father figure. I'm playing on hard and just now I'm starting to figure out the controls

social hierarchy never completely goes away, its less strict later in life, people generally wont just ignore you because youre less social or something. But its still there, you'll notice when theres an issue that requires taking sides, people will generally stick with who is popular

>High school is as irrelevant as kindergarten. Nothing you do there matters in adult life.

At every stage of adult life you realize that most of what you did in the previous stages doesn't matter. Then when you get to the end of life, you realize there are like 3 or 4 things that really matter at all in life, and the rest was all mental masturbation.

If it's easier to go by and defy than the High School one I'm cool with it.

I know, that's what I think now about stuff from before High School, I regret ever getting worried for those grades back in elementary school and what not.
But then again, College is the last place where you're literally forced to socialise so I don't want to waste it doing the same shit I did in High School and before.

It's not that it goes away, but there is a social hierarchy that's dictated simply by who you are and what you do in life. Whether you're working at McDicks or you immediately found yourself a job working IT in a major company or whatever, the majority of your social interactions take place at your job and at least there it's obvious who's on top of the hierarchy and it's people who rank higher than you. It's nothing like high school where you're popular because like you know where to get weed or you're a class clown who makes fun of the autistic kids or whatever else

Life after high school is exactly the same as high school, with the only difference being that you have more freedom to change the situation you're in if you're willing to put in some effort.

Most workplaces and social situations in adult life are exactly like high school, but you have the choice to switch to different ones if you're willing to put in the effort it takes to do so. That is not an option in high school.

That doesn't mean life will become awesome, but it can become more tolerable, which is a step in the right direction.

I'm perfectly fine with the hierarchy based on job and how some jobs looked are looked down upon, I just hate how, right now, it would be just laughable if I even tried asking a girl I like out if she's a tier above me.

I just want it to be more flexible you know? Yes I fucked up when asking that girl out but I can just forget about it and go for the next one! I don't have to worry about bad mouthing and laughing behind my back for even trying it.

>the majority of your social interactions take place at your job and at least there it's obvious who's on top of the hierarchy and it's people who rank higher than you.

At work though, corporate hierarchy has no bearing on social hierarchy. Sometimes people resent the people higher up on corporate. People are more likely to hangout with other people like themselves outside of work, regardless of what their job position is at work.

It is a lot more flexible. Just don't ask out girls at work, because that is the same situation as asking out a girl in high school. If she says no, it will spread around the company, and could get you fired if she takes it the wrong way.

Personally I just don't date girls I work with. It's a part of keeping healthy boundaries, and it's just creepy. Once you are an adult, you have access to tons of adult girls of all ages everywhere in life, so to feel the need to date one that is forced to be in the same place as you every day (work) is a scarcity mentality.

>Does the social hierarchy go away after high school?
No, in fact it gets much worse. But it just gets harder to see because as adults, we act like mature adults even if that's not the case.
For example you'll see it in the workforce with rampant nepotism. No matter how skilled you are at your job you are fucked if your social skills are lacking.

No, I would never do that.
Yeah that opening is also pretty great, like, if a sophomore in HS ( guy ) asked a senior ( girl ) out she would have to decline him in 99.99% of situations, if not the girl would experience a lot of bullying and teasing.

>No matter how skilled you are at your job you are fucked if your social skills are lacking.

If you're in an unhealthy working environment, then yes I totally agree. In better working environments this doesn't happen so much, because better environments don't allow nepotism or care about social skills, it's strictly about job performance.

I wasn't necessary talking about work space, just in general.
I won't go to my work every morning hoping to make friends but to get it done with and get my pay by the end of the month.

Yeah the age thing goes out the window as an adult. There are no rules for it. Some people care about it and others could care less. Mostly people just care about if they like you or not. If they like you, then nothing else matters.

I wish that I could say that about my experience. It seems most work environments these days want to focus on this "team building" bullshit and if you just prefer to work on your own and keep to yourself, you'll be ostracized.
Hell, once I thought I did great during an interview but during the following phone call the interviewer straight up said that I "seem too shy" for the job and that they wanted more outgoing people.

Good to know, I've realized lately just how many conditions I have to fulfill between me and say a random girl.
She has to be my age, she can't be much higher on the hierarchy than me, she can't have a boyfriend, she can't know too many of people that know me because of bad mouthing, she must want a relationship and not be one of those who don't and think they don't need it yet.

As the age goes up most of these conditions go away to an extent

I've experienced the same thing as you user. Those have been unhealthy working environments that you have described. I can say that because I've worked and interviewed in both types. When you're stuck in an unhealthy one, it feels like every workplace is like that. When you finally find a good solid healthy environment, you can just show up and get you're work done without any of the petty bullshit, and you don't mind going there.

A lot of workplaces are shitty and unhealthy with that "team building" or "synergy" bullshit. You have to keep trying to environments until you get a good one (which can be very frustrating and exhausting). You'll know right away when you're there, because you'll finally be able to relax when you're there and just pound out you're work without having to worry about anything.

Hang in there user, and stick with it. You'll find the right environment for work if you keep trying new ones.

>She has to be my age, she can't be much higher on the hierarchy than me, she can't have a boyfriend, she can't know too many of people that know me because of bad mouthing, she must want a relationship and not be one of those who don't and think they don't need it yet.

As an adult, all you have to really have to think about, is are both of you into each other? If yes, then anything else after that naturally takes care of itself.

You don't have to worry about age, status, if she wants a relationship, etc....
If she is into you, then it goes wherever you want it to naturally go. You don't have to worry about anything else.

That's so nice to hear. I just think that I've been worrying and overthinking so much that I'm not living, I'm never in the present.
Maybe if I stopped trying to swim the river flow would bring me to a place better than I imagined.

Hierarchies never go away . They exist throughout much of nature.

>she can't know too many of people that know me because of bad mouthing

Girls knowing the same people as you should be a good thing. If it's a bad thing you should be working on building better relationships with the people you know.

Glad to hear that helps user. I grew up in the same exact situation as you, and was an extreme introvert and had major depression.

As a teenager, the biggest misconception I had about adult life after high school was that all my personal problems would magically go away just because I was out of high school. The reality was that I needed to work on becoming a better version of myself when I became an adult. You're problems are still going to be there, you just become better at dealing with them and you have so much more freedom in how you're going to deal with them.

I find a lot of girls I know to be manipulative , fake, twofaced and bitchy and I can't stand that. I'm not saying all are like that but a lot of girls I know are.
And those usually have a lot of friends.

I'm doing everything I can to better myself and I'm in a good position now compared to where I was a year or even three months ago.

This thread is too intelligent for me but I'm bumping you OP

Only with in your age when you are in college. People treat you like the rucking plaque if you are too old.

I will be of normal age, straight out of high school.

This is a good thread, helped me a lot.
Hats of to OP for posting and for people replying

It doesn't go away - it becomes worse and more solidified, but you notice it less, because life has sorted you into a box with others like you.