First relationship, I want to know if this is normal

Well, I have been with this amazing girl, things are going great between us. I have no experience so I don't know if what is going between us is normal or no.

>We have been together for 2 months, so far every date we have been in, i have paid, she does offer to pay every now and then, and I say no. Normal?

>Sometimes she wants attention like literally says, "don't get offline I want to talk to you" or says "why didn't you text me today" and sometimes she replies back after 4 hours with one word text. Normal?

>Sometimes she says something as sweet as "I'm lucky to have you in my life" I reply with something with the same caliber, and when I do say similar on one day she says "aww thanks." Normal?

>She hates driving, so whenever we are going out I pick her up, I took a final for some game design class she was taking, I feel like I really do put a lot in this relationship and, idk, sometimes I feel like I'm not getting anything back. Normal?

Well to be fair she did support me emotionally one time when I was going through something rough. But that's really all I recall. and I guess we exchanged Christmas presents... idk what am I supposed to be getting in return, I am very self sufficient. I like her a lot, i really do, just being with her makes me happy, but I want her to put effort. But what are examples for that, again I have no idea what is the norm. I really don't know what I want.

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I know this is a retarded thread, but any help is appreciated :)

Communication, user. If you are unhappy with her level of effort, you need to talk to her about it. Tell her you wish she showed that she valued you more or something.

It's only normal if you let it become the norm.

I mean this is the obvious answer, but I don't think I will be satisfied if she is doing that only because I asked her to. Is that irrational?

And like, what can girls really do? Like what effort can they put in anyways?

>Like what effort can they put in anyways?
Like she could actually pay for some dates instead of you idiotically bankrolling her

1/ Yep- and sometimes let her- if she asks, she means it.

2/ Yes- chicks are like that

3/ Yes- she may be less needful that day

4/ Yes- its your own insecurity.\\Just chil out OP, its all good

>she may be less needful that day
This is my first relationship so I am very fucking emotional and shit, I feel that I want to hear some sweet cute shit too man...

>I mean this is the obvious answer, but I don't think I will be satisfied if she is doing that only because I asked her to. Is that irrational?
Yes that's irrational, but it's a common mistake.
It's likely she feels the same about you and just isn't expressing it in ways you can see, and she likely doesn't even realise it. Her changing her behaviour for you would just be changing how she expresses herself to better communicate what she already feels. And the reason she's modifying her behaviour as such is because she cares about you and wants to be on the same page.
It's like asking someone to rephrase a point they're trying to make because you can't understand it the first time, they're not making up shit that's simpler for you to digest just so they can call it a day, they're just changing how they explain the same point.

Let her contribute. If you buy the movie tickets, maybe let her buy the snacks. You paid for dinner? Let her pay for something else. Letting her contribute will help her feel like part of the relationship *and save you serious cash.*

As for the attention, I've found that women will beg for your attention, then get bored of you. It's a tricky line to walk, but you have to give her attention without being TOO available or she'll get bored quick.

>I feel that I want to hear some sweet cute shit too man...
But according to you, you do hear it, when she initiates it. You just don't hear it back when you're the one to initiate it.

How old are you two?

Right. So she gets it when she is needing it, and I don't get it back in return when I need it.

>It's a tricky line to walk,
I think you're right I will have to just satisfy her needs. Too much, she will have enough in the reserve tank!

I guess you're right. I will try to bring it up when I see it is appropriate.

There's a Jordan Peterson video out there that says basically people are stupid, especially in relationships, are stupid and you basically have to tell them exactly what you want them to do if you want if you want them to do it and if you want them to be happy.

She can't mind read she won't magically read your thoughts and start putting effort in unless you say that's what you like. And if you tell her that and remind her a few times and she still doesn't do it fuck her she's not for you. And to answer you question, yes all of that is normal.

23 & 22

>Right. So she gets it when she is needing it, and I don't get it back in return when I need it.
You shouldn't say sweet things just to get something in return. She's probably not saying something sweet just to hear it back, she's likely saying it because that's what she feels in the moment and assumes the same of you.

Well when I tell her "the best present anyone can receive this Christmas is you"

I just don't want to hear "aww boo" that's all I'm saying

Well then you're being a child. Sorry dude.

I honestly think I'm just too fucking needy. I need to work on that before I ask her to do anything. I think it's because I have nothing to do right now. I will be 3x more occupied in a month.

You're right. I'm too needy.

And not only a child, but very dishonest. Here she is thinking her boyfriend's feeling affectionate towards her and wants to let her know, but all you're doing is trying to siphon affection out of her. That's fucked up. I'm actually kinda pissed off.

This is an important, wish I knew this with my previous relationship. In a relationship, you're there to give, not recieve. Give compliments because you actually want to say it, not to hear it back. If you keep doing this just to be complemented back, you'll start to resent her when she doesnt, I know from personal experience

You're lucky you got that response to that weak ass Mariah Carey line lol. Don't go for cheesy, over the top stuff. Make your compliments more organic.

I think you have a legitimate desire for mushy shit and you have a legitimate claim to ask that she's does mushy shit. The only way to get it is to ask. For example here shes probably trying to make you happy by showing her appreciation but if she knew you'd beore happy if she called you snuggy bear or some shit she'd probably do it.

You have to tell her what you like and what if want. If you do, you can expect her to do it. Otherwise, you're SOL

You have to communicate OP, I didn't and that caused problems in my previous relationship. I was also needy and too available, don't be like that. Find stuff to do other than your gf.

That is the case. All I'm saying just want to her some nice shit too. I really tell her what I feel. I'm not saying that shit to hear good stuff back. Wtf user.

>All I'm saying just want to her some nice shit too.
But she does, you faggot.
If you really meant what you were saying and weren't fishing for reciprocation, "thanks boo" and occasional initiation on her part would be plenty.

Please, Mandy. You don't know what this dude wants