I have a group of very "progressive" friends, who have this idea that I'm a person who just doesn't get how tough gay people have it. I'm not sympathetic enough, in their eyes. It's not like I shoot off homophobic stuff, I just don't scream and cry every time a gay guy gets 'marginalized,' or whatever. They constantly flip their shit on me for not understanding how bad it is.
The problem is, I'm the gayest of all of them. I'm pretty sure I'm bi, so I don't want to just drop the idea that I want to be assfucked by all comers, but I keep getting run through the mud like I'm not an "ally," or whatever. By guys who have no interest in duded.
I don't want to "come out," so how do I deal with this?
Flunitrazepam. You pass out and every friend of yours fucks you up the ass, you don't remember so it's not gay and you still get peer approval. Make sure you lubricate and dilate your butt before.
Luis Phillips
its one thing to avoid arguing over stupid shit, its another to hang out with idiots. I think gay guys on average actually make more than straight people. many of them are very fit as well. maybe compliment the gays in your arguments before you throw in your statement about how they don't have it that bad (in America). I mean, muslims are killing them left and right all over the world though, so thats a thing too. anyways, arguing politics all the time will fuck up friendships so try to avoid it when you can
Blake Kelly
Applies to America, in Europe they are all are effeminate the wrong way, scrawny or chubby. Prone to melodrama.
Isaac Wright
What was the original purpose of the group of friend? Was it just to be progressive and talk about gay or is it a group of friend who enjoys doing stuff together? Just talk to them about it, if they are your friends then they will understand
Robert Hall
I'm a pretty middle of the road guy when it comes to politics. I like girls, but I secretly crossdress and such.
They're old friends, that had nothing to do with politics. I've known most of them since childhood. I really hate the term/concept of "virtue signaling," but this where they're at, tripping over themselves to be more "inclusive," all while accusing me of not understanding how hard heteroflexbile people, or whatever, have it.
Meanwhile, I've been sending some 40 year old dude pictures of me in a dress, and consider letting him rail me.
Isaac Collins
>I like girls, but I secretly crossdress and such. Ur a big gheii.
Blake Perry
Think of all the anal bleeding gays have to deal with!
Why not just come out to them? In fact you could use your gayness to shut them up. Next time they try to speak for the poor oppressed gays, you can give your opinion as an actual member of the species.
Wyatt Anderson
Ewwww.
Gabriel Stewart
is that icing or cum?
Angel Scott
>I like girls, but I secretly crossdress and such. >I'm pretty sure am bi
When are you going to go full time?
Daniel Jackson
Why don't you want to come out?
Benjamin Reed
do you have any examples so i can really see the situation? i.e. a time when they got mad at you, what they said and what you said in response
Ayden Rogers
Surprised this is still up. Anyways, probably never. Eventually I'm going to be too old to look halfway decent, and I'll just stop or do it in my own private time. I know a guy who went full trans, and it just fucked up his life. I enjoy being a guy too much to want to suddenly have to always deal with the bullshit being a woman would bring. And I don't want to bring shame to my parents.
I've never done anything with a guy more than a quick peck on the lips as a joke during spinnthe bottle or something. I've been considering trying to use Grindr or something to finally really truly experiment, but I always back out because I'm worried I'm going to get pozzed or murdered or blackmailed. Some guy tried to blackmail me on a dating site my freshman year of college and it really turned me off to it. There's only ever been a few times in my life where I've had a crush on a guy or thought "wow, that guy walking across the street is hot," so I mostly only think about it when already jerking off.
I think the whole "sexuality as a spectrum" thing is probably pretty true. Having sex with a woman feels natural to me, but every time I really try hard to look at a guy and imagine him pressing me down and fucking me, or having to kiss him and feel his facial hair, it doesn't seem right.
So basically, I don't come out because I'm not exactly going to start fucking/dating guys regularly anytime soon.
Gabriel Richardson
Sorry, was getting close to the character limit. Let's just take a simple example from about a month ago - one of our friends got pulled over and got in a ridiculous amount of trouble for having an open bottle of vodka in his trunk. One of them were in our group text telling everyone the story, and I said "oh, that's gay." Cue a tirade from two of the guys in the chat saying I just can't use that kind of language anymore, that I'm marginalizing gay people, that I am perpetuating homophobic stereotypes by using gay as a bad thing, and I should apologize immediately to them.
Keep in mind, I've known these people in some cases for 10 years. They know I'm not in any way homophobic, and I used gay like I would if someone scored a touchdown on me in Madden. It's not like I shouted it in public, either, where it could offend. Just privately among us.
I said "dude what a fag" about someone who isn't gay but was being an asshole car with two friends the other day, and again got the "you can't say that" talk, although it was less of a tirade than I got from the other time.
This happens on a frequent basis. A couple of my friends in this group now say shit like, fag, nigger, gay, just because we're getting irritated by how much the other half of the group gets their panties in a wad over it. None of us are racist or homophobic, it's just banter.
Angel Lewis
Lol I'm gay too, and we are kind of alike.
I also say "that's gay" to stuff that is stupid or dumb, and I'm about as progressive as it gets. My other gay friends say it all the time too, and only one friend gets upset. I see it more as a meme insult than actual homophobia, and I obviously dont think being gay is bad.
As for the word 'fag', that's a bit touchier since it was often used as a slur. For me, if someone comes up to me and says "sup faggot" I'll find it funny. The only way i wouldn't find it funny is if they're saying it to me out of anger to purposefully hurt me, or if they're yelling bible verses at me. I think because your friends believe you're straight, and they see you use it in an annoyed way, that's why they get mad.
I think you and your friends just have different senses of humor. I like to laugh at myself and use dark humor, and sometimes it does clash with other people. Frankly, knowing that you're bi makes your friends anger seem frivolous, but i think their anger comes from the fact that to them, you're just a straight guy laughing at gay people.
Obviously you shouldnt come out until you want to, but at least you know your friends will be tolerant when the time comes. If you wanna keep the peace, you might wanna just ease up on the gay jokes with them, and there will be plenty of other people that will gladly make gay jokes with you.
James Ortiz
Don’t be goated into coming out in an argument among friends.
Colton Cooper
Appreciate the input. Yeah, I mean, no one has ever called me a fag/faggot except in the kind of middle school way where they don't really know what it means. So it's hard for me to get real uppity about it. Hell, it's hard for me to get uppity about any language, unless it was someone genuinely threatening to kill/hurt someone while saying faggot.
More often than not though, I'm using these terms in an over-the-top, joking way. I probably wouldn't call someone I genuinely dislike a 'fag,' because that'd be coming from a true feeling of hate, but when Johnny is acting like a fag because we decided to get drinks at TGI Fridays instead of a hip nightclub, it's funny to say something like that.
Anyways, I really don't think my friends would believe me if I came out, and I'll be honest, I don't think they're anywhere near as "tolerant" as they think they are. If I decided to come out, or god forbid, transition, I think they'd distance themselves and be super uncomfortable.
They're the ones that thought it was "weird" I was having a conversation with a transsexual at the bar the other night. We were talking about Smash Bros.
Dominic Richardson
lmao by the looks of it then, your friends appear to be massive virtue signalers.
judging by your experiences at the bar, they dont appear to be that tolerant after all. i know many people like that.
it's super easy to say you support something, but it becomes much harder when these beliefs are tested. i dealt with that alot, because i experienced a ton of internalized homophobia at the beginning.
i wouldn't lose any sleep over it. it's up to you whether or not to come out/transition publicly, and if they don't accept you, that's on them. There are plenty of people that will accept you for who you are.
Anthony Bailey
>Meanwhile, I've been sending some 40 year old dude pictures of me in a dress, and consider letting him rail me.
Stop jerking to porn man. Bisexuality in men is not a real thing. It's gay, straight or "it was available at the moment". Male sexual dynamics are completely different to women's and it's nowhere near as fluid.
Charles Lewis
What they are doing is called "virtue signaling". Basically they aren't actually sincere, they just want to LOOK all progressive and modern. It's all for appearances (which is the case for most "progressive" people.)
You don't need toxic people like that in your life.
Jack Nelson
To expand on this, even if you did eventually come out to them, they would basically use you as a fashion accessory. "Oh, and this is user, our gay friend. Look at how progressive and modern we are, for having a gay friend!"
Nathaniel Richardson
I'm no homophone but I will say this Kinda funny ain't it? No one needs to share their sexual orientation. Not even straight people. It's totally irrelevant in any situation outside of who exactly you tryna fuck. Conversationally, lifestyle, all of it.
And funny how you like dick, and you don't face any of the troubles, or marginalisation, or stigma or issues gay people do because you don't talk about it in the exact way a lot of straight people don't spout how much they love pussy non stop. And the guys the do I always found awkward as shit..
Just funny.
Sebastian Walker
Actually the opposite. They guys would drop him like a hot potato. (They don’t actually want to be around gays—especially one that’s been lurking in their circle. They would talk bad about him behind his back, cite examples when they drank from his cup and that time they saw each other nude... it would not be good for OP.
Nathaniel Jones
Classic closet fag is a homophobe. News at 11.
Grayson King
I'd love to hear where you learned this, if you're still around, and how it makes any sense at all. I won't judge, I just want to know.
I'm not cutting anyone out of my life, but I do want to have them get rid of the hysterics any time any one calls someone gay or uses a racial slur around them when they KNOW it's a joke.
I get you. Thing is, I'm not really "begging for dick" gay, I just think I might be into it. I can understand someone who totally knows who they are, and what they like, wanting to shout it to the world after holding it back. I'm just not that passionate about my "identity." I don't feel like a woman trapped in a man's body or anything, and I'd imagine that feeling that way would be awful.
If you could press a button and turn me into an attractive girl without years of awkward transitioning and a chance of looking like Danny Devito in a wig, I'd take it. But I still like women, and I have a job along with real life shit to take care of.
I think if anything, I've proven I'm not a homophobe. I just don't have a panic attack every time someone uses a mean word.
Samuel James
>I'd love to hear where you learned this, if you're still around, and how it makes any sense at all. I won't judge, I just want to know.
What part are you confused about? That going down the porn rabbit hole will screw with your sexuality as evidenced by the increasing number of trap/shemale/crossdressing threads on Jow Forums?
I mean, you want to get fucked by a 40yo man, that's some ways off "exploring" your faggotry with a twink.
Jose Rivera
Thanks for the answer. I'm kinda open to the idea that porn is to blame, but I grew up thinking about getting fucked before the internet was that important.
But yeah, I understand that I'd rather be fucked by an older dude, it's not "exploring." It's ultra gay. I want to take it up the ass, I don't want to bang some twink that I'm pretending is a girl.
