The other thread is dying so here's a new one.
The other thread is dying so here's a new one.
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I love myself and I'm happy.
But I still can't get my mind off of someone, and now it seems they will be back in my life for good, and I wonder what I could even say to them after everything that happened. I don't know if I will be able to speak but I will do my best to tell them "I've missed you."
I know this sounds ridiculous but I hate how my first gf keeps on haunting me, like she’s the only girl I’ve gone out with more than one time we’re the past 3 I’ve gone out with I’ve only gone out once each and it feels like this recent third girl is a one and done, I hope I’m wrong dammit. Another thing is that it’s like she’s the only person who actively texts me when’s the person I least want to talk to, meanwhile the girl I actually want to be with, doesn’t look at my message, not a peep. I’ve had enough. Honestly though I’m aware that I’m just using her as an easy scapegoat for deeper mistakes that I have made with those past 3 girls among other unsuccessful attempts. I just hate how it’s always her when I want her the least man
In other news I really hope I didn’t fuck things up too much with the 3rd girl, hopefully at some point she texts me or I text her casually and she responds, god I really hope.
Peace out, I've tried to get my shit together before and I've failed but this time I'm not even gonna try to get my shit together. Can't keep doing the same shit and expect a different outcome.
I'm almost 30 and I have never had a girlfriend. There's nothing so wrong with me that would absolutely prevent any romance in my life, or at least I don't think there is. I'm very depressed and asocial, those already are death sentence to all social life. I don't have any friends either. There are no girls in my life who I could get to know better and build up relationship with, not even a random nice store clerk girl who I see every day or anything like that. I'm intentionally avoiding dating apps because those are too fast paced and mostly for quick hookups, but I have been talking with girls online. Even though I get to talk with many girls online they always stop responding to me. Even the girls who liked me so much that we did daily video calls. I don't know what it is, but I know I know it's something in me. Maybe I'm too boring. They say I look good and they like my personality, but how come they always stop responding and disappear? I'm not a pervert and I never say any creepy sexual things. I take all my online conversations seriously and I can't even imagine ghosting anyone, especially not someone who I've been in daily contact with. Feeling pathetic loser is one thing, but feeling expendable and disposable feels even worse.
I got mental and physical health issues and I see no point of going on desu I be thinking about killing myself like everyday I even tried but failed couple of times
I've been acting like a retard and cutting all my bonds I just want to say sorry for everyone who knew me and had any kind of feelings towards me
It's better like that i hate seeing everyone hating me but than they won't miss me when I am gone
I am sorry
Only a matter of time now, A. I'll come after you and finish what we started, you limp dick fuck.
uuuuurgh, my bf and I are away from each other for a few weeks and planned to nofap until we're together again but I keep thinking about him and failing worse than a fat chick on a new years resolution diet.
>I'll start tomorrow... ok, the next day... ok the next day...
Live your life. Keep doing that lifestyle choice of being drunk and high playing hubby to mommy. Live out all your sexual fantasies at your orgies and threesomes. Fuck all the thots and guys you can stick your dick into. That's cool. I'll leave you alone. But the second you start to get your shit together? The second you try to settle down with someone and think you're going to play family again? Be ready for me bitch. I'm coming after you full force and for back child support. You will never be free of this. So make sure if you decide you ever want to grow the fuck up, you've got a huge battle waiting.
My mom and me just had a fight. It’s not the first time she told me she is sad that I gained so much weight, she told me she can’t even sleep calmly thinking about me. Apart from being fat I am healthy, have a stable job, social relationships, can handle my finances and am even going to school again for further education to earn more money an bear more responsibility at my job to become a department leader or something like that, and it’s fun so far.
My mom however can only see that I’ve gained a lot of weight, admittedly it really is a lot with 100 kg at a height of 1.60 m. However apart from that I’m healthy and not restricted in any way, I’m even planing to tackle this “issue” with my special someone, that we go to gym together or swimming or something.
While crying she told me I was exactly like my father and didn’t care about problems, always telling her not to worry about things she can’t change herself. Saying it’s her right as a mother to worry.
Just in a by-sentence she mentioned she hat brain cancer and heart problem, yet the only thing she worries about is my weight. Didn’t know how to properly respond to this at that moment, so I’ll talk to her again later but ... she also told me she is envious of her boyfriends life. He has two kids, both children not fat and that’s about what she’s envious of. One of them is more or less without a job but me being fat is more worrisome.
It’s really eating me up a bit since the only part of my life that seems to be of any care for her is the size of clothes I wear and I’m not sure how to handle it
I have nothing in my life and I'm not sure I ever will. I have no motivation for anything and I'm dumbfounded as to why my life got this way. I never tried to hurt anyone, but all I ever do is get hurt. Why is life so bad?
I'm sorry i didn't mean that i always talk shit when I'm in extreme pain I'll leave you alone forever really just do you
I have e-gf (she's a real person and we know each other by real name and face, we're just living far apart, long distance relationship) and the fear of her just one day leaving me by a press of a button is eating me up inside.
How do I stop having intrusive thoughts about a guy who was a huge prick to me In a video game. I know him but haven't seen him for like 7 years, he Is a friend of my friend. Basically he was just disrespectful to me by saying that I suck etc, even though he barely knows me. What bugs me Is that I couldn't respond back and now I beat myself over It because I'm a pussy. What do? How do I regain my confidence. This shit has been bugging me for days and I don't know how to stop these retarded thoughts
I'm not gonna lie, I am an ugly man.
You grew up to be such a fine woman ~ I always look forward to any oportunity to see and talk to you.
I'm really sorry for the way I treated you in high school. I had a dream about us where we were actually happy, and it made me feel really guilty that I never loved you and for being cruel to you.
I'm not sure if I should even mess with this, but I'd really like to be your friend. I don't have any other intentions, I just want you to see me in a good light again.
I'm sorry, S. I didn't mean to hurt you.
You deserve someone stronger than me.
You won't see or hear from me ever again, just know that I love you.
All these dumb bitches apologizing on here and not irl.
I'm afraid I'll give her PTSD attack if I make contact with her.
I am very dramatic. Drama from trauma.
I meant for you.
Who are you hoping this is, user?
Why do you melt into every second of my waking reality? I miss those days, golden days
All those beautiful memories we shared together. The laughter, the smiles. You told me you loved me, that you weren't lonely anymore because you had me. You wanted me to sing for you before we went to bed, you'd hold onto the recording and told me you listened to it when you were feeling troubled. I wanted to surprise you with a Christmas dinner, hold your hand while looking at the fireworks on New Year's Eve and kiss you when the clock would strike midnight. You said you were looking forward to it. Then why? Why would you just leave like that? We could've made so many more memories together, but you refused. You didn't want to hurt me any longer? I was never hurt by you in the first place
For my prayer has always been love
What did o do to deserve this?
The love never dies. In the waters between here and there, I will swim.
Gone forever, gone forever
If your heart could really beat for me the way I thought it beat for me, we could take the barren landscape and turn it to lakes and forests
if you said the town or even country I’d know for sure
I wish I could listen to that album and talk with you again... it’s so stupid, but you are really the only thing that keeps me from it, Kiera
My roommate and I (both 27) are smoking weed together for the first time next week. I've heard it's underwhelming but I'm a little excited regardless.
My whole life I've always been clumsy as fuck, beyond terrible at all sports, constantly bumping into things and failing to walk in a straight line, constantly forgetting where I put things (I "lose" my key practically every day before I leave the house and usually spend 10-15 minutes looking for it. It's always somewhere completely normal in my room), occasionally tripping up on myself, always struggling to pay attention, feeling tired and fatigued a lot, etc etc etc.
Couple days ago I learned there's a neurological condition called dyspraxia that would literally explain ALL of these things.
The fact that I've always been a bit of a spastic physically has always been a massive cause of my anxiety and has led to loads of self-esteem issues over the years.
I'm considering getting tested for this condition but I'm scared of finding out that I don't have it and realising that I literally am just a fucking spastic. That would make me feel worse than I already do about myself.
last time i tried to have sex (also the first time) i couldn't get it up
it was a girl who i hadn't seen in years and she was staying for a few days so the stress from that probably played a part but it's still fucked me up big time
i'm terrified of getting into any other sexual situation, i've literally ran away from one opportunity a few weeks ago and i've held back on talking to girls as well
i'm also terrified of asking for a pill as well because i'm 22 and should be fine with this shit
maryland. Who is this? Gib name
STOP TEASING ME FAGGOT
I fucked up my life. Hard. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it to fix it. I'm 31, I fucked over then got fucked over. Life lesson learned, now there really is nothing left for me. I'm praying this new year my brain swells up with spinal fluid and I die randomly while at work.
you invite me to go swimming
why do i have to have this fucking nailfungus NOW!?`
for fucks sake you always wanted to go there
So, so much.
It's hard to put into words.
You seem proud of that fact.
Depends on the mood to whom. As of now, not really.
>but all I ever do is get hurt
how does this happen? Do people just use you and then push you away?
Some days I wish I had no hope, care or responsibilities. If my stupid brain didn't still have some kind of hope that my life could get better, or if the people I care about suddenly disappear, I'd probably kill myself.
And I'm starting to hate myself for having this hope and care. In my mind, I want to fall asleep and never wake up but at the same time I'm constantly trying to stop myself from falling asleep. And I fucking hate it.
I don't want to live, but I have to and the thought of that drives my already low motivation further into the ground.
>What bugs me Is that I couldn't respond back
So what? I mean you could have told him to fuck off and die, but what would it change? Sometimes it is better to just hide yourself from danger, than to face it...
Boo hoo, look at me. I feel so sorry for myself because I can’t get a girlfriend. Actually, I’m not even trying. Actually, I’ve never tried. I just want them to want me just by looking at me, but boo hoo, I’m also ugly. Ugly people can’t have girlfriends. That’s why I saw this really ugly loser the other day who had this amazingly beautiful girl, but noooo, that will never happen to me because I’m not even trying. Why don’t they ever come to me??? Why oh why?!
Dude, how do you think the ugly loser you saw the other day got his amazingly beautiful girlfriend? By doing nothing? Lol.
Aaaand it's gone.
What kind of trauma
Why did you invite me to a pool party?? To torture or humiliate me? You know I've alwaya avoided showing more skin other than half my face. You know there is a big important reason why. And yet to stab me like that.
Bipolar parents, mother upgraded to schizophrenia. Bullied and beaten up by psycho kids, brothers and sister are all BPD.
Damn. What's your diagnosis?
BPD, maybe bipolar.
Can you please tell me where you are from? I've been waiting on you to respond for a while now, a bit nervous. Even if it's not you, I don't mind.
This person sent me nudes within hours of talking and is super open to sexual talk. They're cute but not anywhere near what I usually go for but the fact that they worship me and wants to please me with pictures or getting off on cam just pulls me in more even if I feel like I've lowered my standards. Thinking this way makes me feel guilty but if are both getting pleasure out of it, then it's not too bad right? Also, I hope they don't catch feeling but I fear it's inevitable.
Last time you talked to me you mentioned getting robbed with a gun to your head. You haven't talked to me in a while and I'm starting to think it's less life stuff and more you really need my help. Let's talk man, I know stuff is shit for you but might help just relaxing with friends.
I had premeditated sex with the long-time girlfriend of one of my nearest friends, who I've known since elementary school. Didn't know I'd feel this guilty afterwards. I really hope the guilt dwindles as time goes by - there isn't much else to do.
You broke the trust between you and your friend. That you're feeling this way shows you're not too far gone.
You know what you need to do from here, either you resist it and let it eat you alive or you stop resisting it and let it out.
If I told him I wouldn't have any of my friends left anymore since they're all good friends with each other.
You manwhore, you knew I liked that one woman, why did you go exactly for her? You know you are so much better then me, and yet you jumped in to take everything.
I've only ever fallen in love twice in my life. I'm 25 years old. I desperately want a girlfriend but I just don't fall in love easily.
Maybe he jumped in because he knew you liked her and he wanted to show who's the alpha.
I am fairly depressed. A result of multiple reasons, I'm in a job I like that is in a bit of a spiral downwards. To the point I don't make enough to pay bills and am bleeding money every month. Even with a bit of a side business going. Also in a relationship with a girl I do love but by no means should I be in. All I really want to do is walk away from everyone and live alone deep in the woods. I have been trying to figure out how to do it. Which really only makes me more depressed.
And if you don't tell him you won't have any of yourself left.
I wouldn't be so sure. See, I like to think of it like this: everybody has their secrets. This one incident does not change anything between those two. They're still happily together. The girl is somewhat sociopathic or something since she feels no remorse at all. However, she really likes him and has said she would want to marry him some day, and I hope they will. The reason we had sex was that we've both had only one partner before and it was really tempting to try out what sex with someone else would feel like.
Sorry for the stream of consciousness.
I feel so fucking angry all the time and I don't know why or what to do about it. Everyone around me seems to be a fucking retard and I get so impatient with them. Everyone is constantly spewing their idiotic, uneducated opinions and I want them all to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
These are my first holidays without you. After being together 3 years, I knew it'd be rough. But not this rough. It's hard not to check up on you social media. I wished you a happy birthday like you did on my birthday but you never responded.
A stranger at a bar asked if you had messaged me merry christmas (we were commiserating about loss/grief). Said no and she commented that it was fucked up. She was kind of dumb so I shrugged it off as her opinion.
The comment built in the back of my head and now it's this sad thought that orbits and swoop my thoughts every now and then..
I just want to tell you i'm sorry. Not for me. I have no illusion of getting back together. I just miss our friendship. I've written your letter. Just waiting to feel ready enough to send out.
Aside from that, I'm just trying to figure out who or what I am without you. I feel weak, vulnerable, dumb, lazy, and bitter. I'm angry that i'm angry.
All I want to be is more mindful everyday. I just want to be good person.
...back to work.
Her infidelity doesn't change anything between them? The dissolution of trust is not something to be brushed under the rug - without trust there's no relationship. What your friend is enduring now is a psychologically abusive relationship. There's nothing "happily together" about that.
I mentioned that you weren't too far gone yet but you're close. I understand the temptation, I understand you wanted to enjoy physical intimacy with her, I understand that mystique and taboo, both conscious and subconscious, behind it all. Regardless of all of that, you're at a crossroads, one that will determine the quality of your character as a human being. You know what you need to do deep down else you wouldn't be posting here.
I don't really like anyone, but I don't really like myself either, as there is not much to like. I get motivated, but that's only because I let myself believe what might be lies at this point. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I should do, what I should do, what is real and what's an illusion, if my dreams can come true, or if they're not what I would want. I don't know if money will bring me happiness, I don't want a 9-5 I want to be independent. I never felt love, and I don't know if there is someone for me to love. There's so much to say to someone but I don't think anyone would understand, let alone be able to help me, and then convince me to believe them. I've been running on autopilot doing what my mom wants me to. From that I've ended up with horrendous grades, failing math. I've never listened to my dad, and I think he's now depressed. I don't know if he cares about me anymore, or is just interested in the money he has to pay. I don't know him anymore, and it hurts. It all really hurts, but I've gotten numb to the feeling, soothing the pain here, getting to that "I can do anything phase" and fail myself and others who believed in me again. Too many things to fix and do, I'm in the damn.
>finish a thousand-piece puzzle
>it's missing a piece
As long as he lives in an illusion they are happily together. It's not like she loves him less now. What she feels is in my opinion more important than what went down. In this case intent actually is magic.
Aah the great metaphor for life.
I am still mad at you for how you handled our finances. We were supposed to be good and free and instead, I am still cleaning up your mess because of how you wanted to handle it. A relationship is supposed to be us vs the problem but I just feel like I am left alone to solve it. All I could think about is whether I can marry you if you still couldn’t say that you fucked up
Hating people, especially myself hurt me so much, in different ways. I had no friends, everyone thought I was a creep, and they just ignored me. I kept telling myself that the're idiots, but now that I look back at it, I feel like I was forcing myself to do that. After failing a few classes I was suicidal, I had no goal, and nothing but playing video games made me happy. Last year I met a person, who didn't judge me, and told me I had issues, calling me a snob. I don't know why, but she talked to me about it, and I realised how fucked up I am.
Having someone show me this was kind of like cheating, and if I were you I'd try to stop all the hatred inside. Opening up to people also helped me a lot. Even biggest idiots can actually be nice.
On Christmas I told my boyfriend's parents that he raped me and yesterday the police came to talk to him.
She can't love him any less because she didn't love him before.
It seems your friend's closest connections in life are those that couldn't give a damn about his well-being. He has has surrounded himself with people who indifferently stick knives in his back - a cruel place for someone to be. Empathizing with your friend is painful for me so this is where our roads part user. You've already decided your path.
my babyface makes me want to kill myself.
the best years of my life are flowing through my hands like sand because nobody takes someone who looks like a fucking child seriously
i want to drown in an addiction
This whole wheat mac and cheese is fuckin gross
I'm afraid that I'll never be attractive enough for anyone
That's because you don't know every detail and nuance of this soap opera.
Seriously? How the fuck did I gain 5 pounds with 3 days of eating. I didn't even eat that much.
Thanks for the advice.
I think I'm getting over you, I didn't think it would be possible but it is. I've lost all respect for you and I think that was the key.
Why the fuck did you do this lmao. We went out twice and had fun both times, and you ask me to come see your little band and meet your family and shit, you get my fucking hopes up and make me think that FINALLY some other fucking human being actually enjoys my company, then you just fucking start ignoring me and sending two word replies to my texts out of nowhere? "Yeah I'll let you know", right, in other words "Don't call me, I'll call you", fuck off. Why even bother responding at all? Just block me. Or better yet, grow a spine and just tell me you aren't interested and that you lied to me, just like everyone else in my life.
Yeah one flashback and I'll be all the rage again.
kek whatever bitch
Coz it’s water weight?
>tfw pretty inexperienced
>tfw i bounce between childish and a massive perv
>tfw i need to grow the fuck up
>tfw depression and shit
I can't stop obsessing over a stupid fucking gatcha game and feeling like shit over every mistake I make on it and I am failing at pretty much everything else, too.
Why did you lose respect for them?
Aye I'm not the one tryna fuck my best friend's partner
This should be applicable to both sides, I guess. Mostly just my thoughts on stuff.
I feel like a lot of relationships are a strange "Paradox of Passion." So one of the things that women look for in a man is that they are passionate about something. It's attractive to them, but then the woman gets into the life of the man taking time away from whatever he's passionate about. As time goes on more and more time has to be committed to the relationship. The man can not really be passionate about what he was doing in the place. If he keeps his focus on what he loved, the woman feels underappreciated, unloved, unwanted. If the man commits too much the woman becomes complacent, feels way too secure. Now security in a relationship is a good thing, but to a certain point. Too much leads people to think they can do whatever and still have their partner around. Then it's on the other side that we have the feeling of the under-appreciation.
How the fuck do you remedy this? How do you balance the needs of yourself and the needs of your partner? Realistically, you wouldn't really have to. In a strong relationship both people would be passionate about something, have something that drives them. The relationship would then be something they would both put aside some of their own lives to form. The thing being that finding a person that is strong on their own is something that gets harder and harder as time gets on. As we age we get heavier in baggage, we carry more of our pasts with us. The issue being that many of us are ill-equip to get past the baggage we carry, to just leave it move on. We are strong enough in short. It fucks up relationships and taints those around us. Then if they aren't strong enough, they taint someone else and so on.
As I ask above, how do we stop this? How do prevent ourselves from getting into potentially abusive relationships or toxic relationships when so many of us aren't openly showing it? Or is this just a "Wargames" scenario?
dude she is so fucking hot tho
I have this deep urge to destroy your life. The question is how?
So... they showed interest but now have stopped. Obviously you blew it.
Uninstall it. You don't need it, it's just there to steal money and time from you.