My gf and I are seemingly perfect for each other, except for the fact that my sex drive isn't as high as hers, and she almost always wants it. It makes me slightly insecure that I cannot always give it to her, and recent it's been quite an issue because she just expects it and gets all depressed if I can't give it to her, which raises a lot of questions to me as to whether I am good enough, or if her exes are better. I know that I am, well, more skilled and better endowed, but her exes did it far more often. It became an argument today when I said that I may not be able to do it today, she got very distant, then snapped at me and such. I feel less loved. I know I'm good in bed when I am in the mood, but I nearly feel that she just wants sex sometimes, or that it means way more to her, which kinda gets to me. I don't know how much sense I'm making I guess it's getting ranty, anyone have any advice? It's fairly upsetting, and don't say some stupid shit like "you should be happy that she's always horny".
Sex Issues
maca
Ashwaganda
Regular exercise
Sounds like there are some underlying trust or self esteem issues. You should talk to her about this, maybe she can put your mind at ease that she isn’t gonna leave you over sex. And feeling more secure in your relationship will help you perform better.
I don't think I can afford to buy things like that, but exercise may help, idk...
We have spoken but it's kind of like, each time it happens it's just a cycle really...
How is it a cycle? What isn’t sticking?
As in, there's an issue, we talk about it, things go good for a bit, then the next time there's an issue it just goes on like that
How often do you have sex as it is? Have you talked to her about it and asked if she's fine with it? Even if you don't bang her daily, it probably won't be a problem, if you at least do it regularly and she's not too frustrated. Its very rare in a relationship that both partners have equal libido, so it always requires some kind of a compromise that's comfortable for both.
I'm not sure maybe twice or three timess a week but it really depends, I have tried to compromise but idk I feel stuck
How does this work exactly? Are you trying to get into the mood, or are you simply checking to see if there's a boner there, and if there isn't you just turn her down?
Does she *do* anything to get you turned on, or does she ask if you're up for it?
Probably doesn't help but pretty much all of the above. Sometimes I just want to cuddle and watch something on the laptop and she wants sex. She does sometimes try to get me horny and it may not work, not properly anyway, but much of the time I just don't feel like it. When I do try to force myself to make her happy I often lose it
>It became an argument today when I said that I may not be able to do it today, she got very distant, then snapped at me and such.
That is really manipulative. Break up with, user. I am sure you can find someone who treats you better.
her*
I understand your sentiment behind that but this is literally the only issue we ever have, I love her very much and she's a very good match for me other than this
But are you making out at least, or is that off the menu if you aren't already horny? Making out should help. More often than not it'll take me a few minutes before I'm ready to penetrate, but in the meantime I'll undress her, touch her, go down on her, etc. If I'm not in the mood as we're starting off, I'll get in the mood by paying attention to her areas.
What's more important, your laptop or the two of you making love?
Well, then she should understand that when someone doesn't feel like having sex, you shouldn't force them to do it.
>I'm not sure maybe twice or three times a week
That isn't bad at all. How old are you guys?
When i said about watching something on the laptop I meant like being romantic over sexual. But maybe I should try making out with her more, yeah... I'll try that, thank you.
Both of us are 19
>Both of us are 19
Well, that explains everything.
>Both of us are 19
Are you living together?
Do you catch yourself looking at other girls a lot? Do you or have you been watching porn a lot? Also, it's nice to watch stuff on a screen together, but it's hardly romantic.
You should just get really good at going down on her.
I've had this problem in my life a lot and in my experience it can always be solved by giving your gf more orgasms. It doesn't really matter if dick is involved or not.
I have pretty low libido naturally but I also have trouble getting hard sometimes from a combination of: a really bad first time that left me with performance anxiety, jacking it to fucked up shit on here every day for 10 years and also due to exhaustion over training all the time.
I'm getting off track here; my point is don't stress about pushing rope. It happens to everyone and if you freak out you're just going to be thinking about trying to get hard instead of about touching your g.f. all over or whatever gets you going in the moment.
There' plenty of info online about cunnilingus so get well versed. the best way to learn for sure is to practice though. I mean you can easily growl her out while you watch some stupid bullshit on your laptop or like before you have sex or after even.
She'll be into it and when she's crushing your head with her thighs and practically having a seizure you'll probably feel like a big shot so it might even make you want to fuck more because there's way less pressure to preform.
We don't exactly live together in the traditional way but we constantly keep going to each others houses and are rarely apart.
And no I don't look at others girls or anything.
I like cuddling and watching stuff and talking and shit, and that's more romantic/loving than sexual so...
>But maybe I should try making out with her more
At first I didn't wish to comment on this, but seriously dude. I'm 35, and whenever I'm around my mistress I'm deep into that business at least twice a day, morning, night or evening, no matter how hungover I am. You're nineteen, there shouldn't be any healthy reason why you wouldn't want to touch your girlfriend's wet and soft parts with your entire person.
not inb4
take viagra, close your eyes and let her enjoy it
>I know that I am, well, more skilled and better endowed, but her exes did it far more often
Why in holy fuck do you know so much about other men and their performance?
Compromise, as in 4-5 times a week. If she wants more than that, simply break up. Because she doesn't care about you.
Regular physical exercise will make your libido go up, even if that's not the main reason why you should be doing it
Stop eating food that inhibits libido
Stop watching porn, any porn. Masturbate thinking of her of if it's a bit too much to girls in general, no photos
Get good at foreplay so that you can satiate her when you're not in the mood to have full intercourse, if she's smart enough she will see and accept the compromise
Try to think about what really turns you on before and during sex and ask her that
Always remember that you mustn't fall for the "real man" meme, and that no-one you included should do something that he/she doesn't wanna do. Three times a week is good. And don't talk about the thing only when frustration is accumulated, talk about it when you both are in your senses
Stop judging him using your life as a parameter, he's a different person from you. You're being useless and unhelpful
get a girlfriend that you're attracted to
I'm judging him based on what I greentexted. I'm comparing him to myself because I see a counter-intuitive lack of effort, not because I think it's a good idea to have as much spare time as I got. Oldfags like myself should be the ones with diminishing returns in the bedroom, not teenagers. OP shouldn't pretend to be someone he's not, but he should check himself to see why he doesn't do more to satisfy the girl he's with. Attraction and seduction is something you *do*, not something that happens to you. It's a path of communication.
Definitely need excersise and stop watching porn if you still are.
I also found limiting my carbohydrate intake to increase my sex drive to the point where I'm constantly thinking about sex.
>limiting my carbohydrate intake to increase my sex drive
That's the way it works for me but I've also heard the exact opposite must be what each individual needs.
News flash:
You do not need an erection to satisfy a woman. On the occasions that you're not quite up to it, use your hands and tongue inventively. It's not quite the same thing, but it might even be a bigger orgasm for her
>use your hands
This
As my dad used to tell me, you gotta get good at using the ten penises on your hand before you can truly be good with the one in your pants.
user, your dad said
>The ten penises IN your hands
He's a gay faggot and so are you
Your dad fingers women with thumbs and pinkies? What king of tecnique is that? can it be learned?
OP, had same issue with my GF. Going to couples sex counseling helped resolve the emotional stresses the mismatch created. We ended up slightly increasing frequency of sex, organically, and drastically improving the quality of sex and how we dealt with each other. That was over 10 years ago. Don't bail over this, get some real help. not Jow Forums saying break up, eat pussy better, compromise
I finger women in the ass with my thumb when I'm in doggy.
In other words, learn to communicate better
Not really. better communication is a meme
(You)
Thank you for your advice, I'm going to try my best, and sorry for the late reply
Thanks for replying but I'm very good at satisfying girls, it's just the fact that I don't always want to, nor should I have to lol
It's genuine advice. Better communication does not solve relationship problems by itself. It often accelerates the problems themselves without any real method to address them. Also there's a lot of compelling research and study into the connection between increased (over?) communication and killing sexual desire in LTRs.
Or maybe I'm collecting (You)s.
I never said communicate more, I said better, and I include such things as physical contact and expressing desire as forms of communication. Not every problem is solved by talking about them.
Womp womp
>Reduces user's entire post to "IOW communicate better"
Things like self discovery, self management, understanding yourself and your partner, families of origin, your needs, SO's needs, etc. There's a lot that goes into a LTR. Communication helps with some of those things but telling couples with issues oh just need to communicate better is misleading them, and thus a fucking meme.