This seems to be a very common thread here.
If you don’t have a gf is almost certainly one of these 5 reasons:
1. You are never around women in a social setting or have any friends to introduce you to them
2. You are physically unattractive
3. You dress terribly
4. You have bad hygiene and smell bad
5. You are socially awkward and nervous around girls
5/5 cool
Mods should fucking sticky this. I’m a virgin myself and even won’t doubt this.
I dress bad out of laziness, and am awkward despite getting rid of my social anxiety a while ago.
I’m around women, I’m attractive and my hygeine is good. But I don’t talk to anybody because I think I look like shit and my voice sounds dumb.
Literally just one of these flaws will fuck you up.
6. Being a virgin at a late age.
Secret option number 6. Every woman I meet that I am even remotely interested in already has a boyfriend.
I'd say it's 1 plus the following
6. I never like my lot. If I get laid, I find it very hard to fuck without "liking" the girl. I've had it go limp a couple times.
7. After the fact, I tend to run away and ignore all messages
8. I shoot way above my weight. Or rather, I cannot pull my weight like that.
9. I've only liked a girl a couple times, and have fucked it up about half the time. The other are past relationships, which all ended with me running away
I'm growing old and bitter.
>why dont you have a gif
see
Any follow up after stating the obvious? Is there a point you are trying to make?
I dont ask out girls, but what can I do really? Look at my situation. Social circle barely has girls, and if they reject me it'll become super awkward. Same with girls at work. Cant ask out strangers because that is extremely superficial and creepy. Dating apps will probably either be desperate girls or thots looking to fuck.
1 and 2 desu
True that.
Anyway, how can i work on 1? My social circle is my DnD group and my two drinking buddies and that's pretty much it.
>1. You are never around women in a social setting or have any friends to introduce you to them
True
>3. You dress terribly
>5. You are socially awkward and nervous around girls
Somewhat true. Not really sure how to move forward on point one. I have my hobbies and interests, they are all just sausage fests and I meet no women through them. But at the same time trying to adopt a hobby or join a club just because I might meet women also seems like a bad idea.
>2. You are physically unattractive
>3. You dress terribly
Take these out and you're gold. I've seen some Frankenstein looking motherfuckers fresh out the Goodwill with some absolute 10/10s. OBVIOUSLY it's rare but I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Chad's worst nightmare is a confident ugly dude. Theres no saving him when some former social reject has got it all figured out and comes for his chick.
Not complete list. Pic related.
The reason for this is due to one of the 5 reasons
Not liking any girl you meet and not being able to fuck are two other potential reasons
Maybe sign up for a social event. Maybe to dance salsa or language exchange
>The reason for this is due to one of the 5 reasons
Sure, but even if you fix the others, you're still climbing a steep hill.
1. and 5. for me. Im a lvl 2 wizard thou.
Remember guys, number 1 is *THE* killer.
While 2-5 decimate your chances (lower your success rate by about 90% each), number 1, even by itself, gets your chances down to the flat zero.
If you're the "one day I'll find a girl" kind-of-guy, then make sure it's not the first reason, otherwise it's never happening.
How do you remedy 1 and 5
Grow balls, go to bars every night(or every party in college).
interesting list
I am none of these though. I'm charismatic, handsome, fit, and make a decent amount of money for my age. The reason I don't have a gf is because of severe emotional issues. Tldr is 3 suicide attempts in my teenage years, doesn't make me nervous around people or anything it just makes it hard to relate with people.
I get hit on a lot by uber liberal women and gay guys all the time actually I just don't care much for what they have to say after this
>Blah blah blah, can you believe x girl would do y?
>Omg so the other day in class this other person was so weird
Or whats even worse
>Hey did you catch the sports ball game?
I mean I feel like an asshole being bored by this kind of talk but I can't help it. How am I supposed to deal with an entire dinner date of this? Usually I'm the one carrying to conversations anyways, but I am legit bored talking to most people. I think I just need to find better company than coworkers and random people at bars idk
>I am legit bored talking to most people
Same. And i hate myself because i can't generate a more interesting conversation that flows naturally. Lately i've also started speaking this truth and guess what, not many liked getting told this.
Ah people are just easily offended pansies sometimes , I guess the real trick is trying to find good company and keep to that group consistently until you find a girl in said group or on the outskirts of it at least, maybe a friend of a friend or something.
Sadly the people i know are either too dumb or too smart for me. I'm stuck in the limbo of mediocre people.
Honestly I think you should just replace all of those with: You don't try hard enough. There are plenty of guys who have one or more of those problems but still have a gf. They just kept trying until they found a girl that could stomach them.
>Chad's worst nightmare is a confident ugly dude. Theres no saving him when some former social reject has got it all figured out and comes for his chick.
I love this in theory but I'm not sure that it's actually true
Oh I can always keep the company of people smarter than me desu, learning is never boring for me. Currently though all I am hearing is
>School
>Boys/girls
>Sports
>Drugs
>Facebook group tier politics
It gets old quick. I'd willingly take an art hoe gf at this point just so I can talk about the Smith's and dark wave music or something.
If you're smart, charismatic, and funny enough, you can be a 3 or 4/10 and get 7/10's easily. I've seen it happen many times. Personality matters a lot desu
I agree 100% but I can't imagine Chad feeling threatened. He's got a pristine personality from a lifetime of positive experiences.
Well, more than smarter, more cultured? If i lack the basics of what they talk about, of course i won't understand shit. I know a couple of guys great at banter tho, and when we get in synch things work well.
I think I could even have interesting things to say, but you can't just drop bombs on an unprepared audience, you will get rightfully ignored.
I also feel getting dumber and dumber as years pass on.
Mods should sticky this rather than the OP.
what about "im too busy to chase tail"?
You can always have an ugly face, but have a nice, athletic body.
Unfortunately , there is a thing as being "too perfect" and I've seen women break up with their bf's for this exact issue. Sometimes it's good to have negative experiences that can prepare you for the future, it's a very fatherly/masculine trait actually. You can't just be the rich, intelligent, god tier aestheticd boy who never had a day of real struggle in his life.
Well, you just need to identify what you're more learned in and stick with that designation. If it's literature stay in those circles, if it's something along the lines of STEM then stay in those circles, etc. If you really want to impress people then just specialize in one area of interest you do well in, which you should already be focusing on primarily for yourself anyways desu
>I also feel getting dumber and dumber as years pass on
Ah that's just what age and meeting new people is like in general , as a rule there is always someone smarter than you
In my experience 2 and 5 are less important. There's girls who don't care about 2 and girls who find 5 cute.
That's bullshit because unless you're Tesla tier autistic, whatever you're busy doing is probably a roundabout way of impressing females.
2 and 5 together though, fuggetaboutit
Makes sense. I like that perspective.
The most important one is not going out and talking to women, which is what this board does.
I've noticed this with people, not just girls. If they've gone through bad stuff in their lives then they don't respect people who haven't. 'Oh your parents didn't beat you? You didn't get addicted to drugs and get three girls pregnant at 16? Oh you didn't get kicked out of your house for being an asshole and had to get a job? You must be weak. I get where it comes from. They feel angry that they had to go through hard times when other people didn't, but most of it is self-inflicted (if they live in a first-world country).
I've had genuinely traumatic experiences in the past which lead me to seal myself off from women for years. How do you suggest I bring women into my life and steadily build myself up to the point of feeling able to have a girlfriend?
Also, I have the problem of girls wanting me to fuck them and having that set off alarm bells in my head. Do you have any suggestions for working around that?
In my situation I am technically an incel because of reason 1.
At this point, I no longer care and have just given up hope on anyone ever loving me.
nice projection, fella.
I mean how traumatic are we talking here? Bad break up leading to anxiety trauma or "I go caught in a 4 way car wreck and watched by family burn to death in the car" PTSD tier trauma? If it's the former you're just gonna need to suck it up, get closer to a particular woman, and just admit how you feel. The latter is a lot more difficult.
shut the fuck up bro im none of these things I just never asked a girl out this alone enough to secure lifelong virginity as a male... don't need to be some fuckin loser to be a virgin fuck you
>How do you suggest I do this
I feel like when people ask this question they're experiencing some magic answer that'll make it easy.
Look up exposure therapy user. Not so you can do it necessarily but so you understand something: it's not easy. You have to be immersed in doing the exact thing you're afraid to do to get through. You gotta just ask the femanons out.
I'm just being honest. It might be a long causal chain but if you keep asking yourself "why?" you'll eventually get to something like social status and esteem of others. There's nothing wrong with it, it's our biological imperative.
>Exposure therapy for romantic interest related anxiety
For him to do that he would need to ask a woman he has a crush on to participate in the therapy.
>I watch anime, but I'm not a weeb.
>I have SJW acquaintances, but I'm not a libtard.
>I have redpilled acquaintances, but they're fucking idiotic.
>Smart people try to talk to me, but I'm an idiot.
>Normies try to talk to me, but they're fucking vapid.
>Chad invited me to drink, went once, never again.
>Play vidyas, but at casual level.
>Girls my age would have no reason to go out with me.
>Want to work out, but no time.
>Want to dress up well, but no money.
>Mfw I'm mediocre at everything.
I'm gay. :)
Intelligence and looks are correlated. A smart man (or woman) is not likely to be ugly.
6. You're fucking boring.
though I guess it could be #5 depending on how you look at it.
It's infuriating knowing what to do and not being able to actually do it.
This user is right. My problem is that if you follow something like this user's advice then you meet people who are already going out to bars and shit. I'm just not interested in those types of people.
My first (and only) time was sexual assault and my mom has used me as an outlet for her own problems with men my whole life. Some other stuff happened as well.
>exposure therapy
That is exactly what I want to do, but trying to take the whole thing on at once is stupid. I want to break it up into manageable chunks; I'm curious how I should do that
I want to ask a girl out but I never have the chance to talk to any. I'm a senior in hs for context, any idea?
[citation needed]
Even if it's correlated it's probably only a minor correlation because the intelligent would have an easier time understanding hygiene standards. There has been a lot of ugly members of the intelligenstia. Take Balzac or Sartre for example.
So what anxiety is just a typical fight or flight response that your body has adapted to due to environmental stressors at a young age over a long enough period of time.
There are drugs to numb these effects if you so choose, but I would suggest that instead you try to grow close to a woman and then tell her truth about how you feel, what you've been through, etc. You just need a stable relationship more than anything
>then you meet people who are already going out to bars and shit. I'm just not interested in those types of people.
This is my problem as well.
As a guy that never goes out to socialize I have an overwhelming preference for women who never go out to socialize.
I'm unlikely to even find interest in a girl that can be encountered in a bar, just on this principle alone.
Logically, girls that don't go out in public, can't be find in public.
It's a really awkward spot.
Another plausible reason:
>You are not good at opening (or even maintaining) conversations.
Try working on this and you'll be golden even without 10/10 aesthetics. If a girl finds you interesting to chat with, go.
But limit it a little, since going overboard with pure small talk will get you the Good Guy card.
I 100% know what you mean. Just about the only option is finding someone while you're in college, if you even go to college. Maybe work if you work at like a library or something.
There's also like cons and stuff, but who wants to meet new people at cons? I just walk around and check stuff out.
And I would like to feel safe and comfortable around women in general before I try to get a girlfriend.
I actually am seeing a girl right now though we're not officially anything yet. I don't know if I want to gf her though cause she has a slut past (like 4 exes in 3 years and she's admitted to an unspecified number of ONS's).
I'd really like to meet a good Christian girl but they're so hard to find :(. I do attend church weekly but all the girls are already taken.
I am a former social reject that got in shape and gained confidence in the military. Girls who knew me as my former self don't give me a second look but girls who only know my current self are surprisingly easy to land dates with.
Oh, so it's a fear of women in general? Seek therapy from a female therapist, preferably a young and attractive one if you can find one.
She deserves someone better than an insecure faggot like you.
>She has a slut pass
>I want a Christian gf
Step one is to revoke that pass and make her feel bad about it. You're gonna need to bring her into the faith , don't be a preacher just tell her how you feel
1 and 5 here. 1 can be fixed but 5 is a personality traits and personality traits are lifelong
Guys that reads totally wrong my phone auto corrected past to pass somehow. Yes I know I'm a degenerate mobile user but I'm nowhere near enough of a degenerate to see a girl with a slut pass lmao
Reading comprehension nigguh
>Not so you do it necessarily but so you understand something:
It means he has to do it. He has to get over his fear of asking women out by doing it. His fear of rejection by getting rejected and noticing his world didn't blow up and so on
user you can 100% improve your social skills. No one comes out of the womb as a social butterfly.
how much is an unspecified? a handful or a few dozens?
some do
most learn tho
And I have improved them, I went from eating lunch in a bathroom because I was anxious of being in a room full of people to actually making a point of going to dinners with circles of friends and shit. But intimacy is a whole other ballpark, and that anxiety can't really be worked in because it comes from fear of rejection that I'll always have.
As well as of sex and intimacy, but I think conditioning myself to feel normal around women should come before trying to have sex with them
Hitler did, tho.
She just said "I've done hookups off tinder before. Not my proudest moment." I should have pressed for more details but I was nervous cause it was a first date and didn't bother to.
Hitler didn't come out of the womb, he was assembled by space Jews.
could be 2, could be 100
there's a big difference
Should I do cold approaching if I don't have social circles with girls of my interest? Or do you suggest that I should get new circles in some way? I'm 20 if that matters.
You are way too insecure to have a gf. Get one once you have grown up.
Yeah I know it's killing me right now. I need to ask next time I see her.
Do both. Also use social media (ig) for attracting girls.
Sex is a heavy thing. Getting callous about it is not a positive thing IMO.
Reading comprehension and logic nigguh
>For him to do that he would need to ask a woman he has a crush on to participate in the therapy.
He can't do it. He just needs to get over his fear of women in general before that level of exposure therapy can be done.
>Hey do you want to go to therapy with me
Is not a good pick up line
Like I said, you are very insecure.
Some posters make it all about the flaws of women in general, and don't say anything about their own shortcomings except stuff they can't change. Mostly their height.
not him, wanting to know if your partner had a hundred or more sexual partners is reasonable tho
what's there to hide if you arent ashamed by it anyway
How do I get new social circles?
I'm mostly insecure about my weight and my fat baby face. I'm 26. My personality sucks because I've spent years avoiding people instead of just losing it once and for all. I also had adult braces until just recently.
Still, I did way better with girls when I wasn't circling the drain mentally. I was still pretty chubby back then.
It's hard after college. The best way I know of is just to go to events/meetups for things you're interested in, and try to get to know people.
>1. You are never around women in a social setting or have any friends to introduce you to them
Probably
>2. You are physically unattractive
>3. You dress terribly
>4. You have bad hygiene and smell bad
No
>5. You are socially awkward and nervous around girls
Not really, just don't know what to say to them and don't enjoy their conversations and casual company in general. Yet I badly deep inside long for their company and to fuck them with the force of a thousand suns. There must be something wrong with me, must be a curse
Insecurity speaking there. What you want to know is if she is a virgin or not. Not being a virgin equals to having gangbanged 100 niggers in your mind.
Not him but can't imagine being this retarded. This is not about virginity. Having few relationships is different from potentionally having sex with tens of men.
i honestly dont care about virginity, don't know if there's a line or anything, but if she told me she had 70 ons in the last year maybe i would like to see a generic std screening before getting intimate
that's my only concern, i know a girl who married her first fuck then cheated on him anyway, i have no particular beliefs on link about number of partners and loyalty or purity or whatever
Not him, but there's different levels here. Like hookups while dating a guy vs hookups while totally single. It's the risk of cheating that would worry me more than the past itself.
>This is your brain on Jow Forums
Damn... Yeah I dont usually think about black people fucking my gf ever my dude
You're missing out.
Nah I think I'm alright dude
6. I'm a girl and not into eating clit.
How to challenge a boring life. Any thoughts?