Here's a question for all of the anons who have been married for a while

Here's a question for all of the anons who have been married for a while.

Do you still go on dates? We're coming up on 8 years together here, and our routine has become just that. Routine. I've been trying to think of some interesting things we can do for dates in the coming year, aiming for 1-2 a month.

The only rules I set for myself were that it can't just be coffee or dinner. We already do that a lot. Part of the problem is we've done much of the stuff the city already has to offer. We're also cheap.

So far I've come up with:
-Museums we haven't been to yet
-Art Galleries we haven't been to yet
-Some sort of "diy" massage class
-Weekend trip to cabin
-Double date with friends?
-Hike something

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Threesome or wife swap.

I can't really help you per se but it's good that you're putting in the effort and thought to come up with something for your wife
You're the reason the divorce rate isn't any higher than it already is

We get along well enough and know when to stay out of each other's hair.

I think the fairy tale romance they tend to sell you is a bunch of crap.

I'm happy having a partner who's there for me, but isn't 100% dependant or independent from me.

That's a great way to create a whole hornets nest of problems in a relationship, despite what anybody will tell you.

I'm not married or in a relationship right now, but can you give advice on how to have a long-healthy relationship and not get bored of each other? The only advice I can give you is to always date your partner, never stop and get used to doing a routine

That all sounds great user, one thing I could add is take some sort of course together? Could be cooking, painting, but sharing that sorta thing can be fun if you're both up for it

user I think just spending quality time together is fine. It shouldn't matter too much what you do just so long as you're together.

>Eight years
>No mention of children

Married going on 11 years now. So long as the routine isn't causing duress or stress on both of you, than anything new you come up with is icing on the cake. You don't have to go on "dates" like high schoolers. But you can plan something sweet for her. Your spouse just wants to know they're wanted and appreciated by you.

It's immoral to bring children into the world in its current state of near-ecological and economic collapse.

They said that ten years ago during the 2008 recession. They also said it before the "end of the world" of 1999. They said it during the height of the Cold War. They said it during WWII. They said it during the American Civil War. They said it during the Potato Famine. They said it during the Black Plague.

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Its really great and amazing for working together as a team in cooking class for example where your end-resoult depends on how good you both work.

It has never been wrong. But you can't make idiots see reason.

>It is immoral to bring children into the world in its current state
>No wait it's actually ALWAYS been immoral to bring children into the world
You're no older than 17. Go to sleep, sporto.

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There is no conflict, both statements are true.

The single piece of advice couples counselors give most often is Go on a date.

But if you're going to do it, really do it. Do something romantic and out of the ordinary. An expensive dinner at a dress-up restaurant. A weekend at a posh hotel. That sort of thing

If you really want to spice things up have a kid. You will learn things about each other you never would have expected no matter how long you have known her, but it truly makes love grow if the relationship is strong. And after it is all said and done you wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way.

put it in her butt

>picnic in nature
>try out some sports together with no intention of doing it in the long run, like going to a badmington club or a boxing gym for trial lessons. Group stuff is really fun btw, so group meditation or other stuff is on the table too
>if it's summer, go to a public bath every other evening
>bike rides together
>go to a shooting range

We've been married for 5 years and we still go on dates - in that regard, nothing changed from when we were just dating. She is usually the one to drag me outside and choose the destination.
The best dates are the ones where she pushes me outside, grabs my arm and starts walking at random untill she finds something that looks fun to do together. The factor of unexpected is really sweet to play on. Try that.

That's a really good point. We both work full time so anything that even says, "Hey, I know we're both busy, but I'm here and I'm thinking of you" is great. She likes flowers, I should get her more.

Neither of us want kids. It's something we've discussed in great detail over the years. We have nothing against kids, nor is it for any specific reason.

These are wonderful ideas! Getting out in nature is something I'd love to do more of with her.

Tried it once, not into it.

It's interesting that's what the counselors say, but I guess it makes sense right? It takes you out of your routine, puts you in front of each other, and gives you a new experience all at the same time.

Yeah! I'll see what's available in the area, there's got to be some fun ones.

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You might looks into mentoring some kids. I get and respect your decision not to have kids. There are lots out there that could use your support. High school music or theater programs are a great place where you could really make a difference.

>Neither of us want kids.
then why are you married? just to escape the rat race of dating? pathetic.

That's a great idea. There are some local art programs for kids that always need mentors.

Why do you care?

because marriage is an institution made for child rearing. you commit to one individual because it makes for the best home to raise children. no other reason for that type of commitment.

Financial reasons and a greater expression of commitment for the sake love though

Again why care what someone else does

>why care what someone else does
marriages are stronger when you are built around something; i.e. the family/children it bears.

And it was never not a bad idea, it's just that morons like you are born every day wanting nothing more than to produce another kid to be sad in this world.
It's the thoughtless "kids r gud!!1" that led to this whole 'gender dysphoria' craze. Too many people wanting to feel important, and not nearly enough importance to go around.

It's okay, like I said, idiots like you will breed infinitely even if it's a godawful idea. Just look at Africa, there's no reason to put a kid into that world and they just don't stop.

So you care because you're a chronically single loser who's bitter that others get happiness without subscription to your worldview.

personally, i think marriage with no intent for children weakens the institution. but thats obviously not true for you, since youre coming to a japanese anime image board for ideas on how to bring the spark back to your relationship

Even just someone willing to pay $10 to see a bunch of kids struggle through R&J.

I’ve considered putting together a small group to attend high school theater in the area. An extra $100 (10 people x$10) in itself is helpful to these programs.

Ya'll need to get outta the city. Pack a large picnic basket and drive out into the country. Go check out the local parks, walk around, get some exercise and be in nature for a bit.

Seduce her with your lunch on a blanket then have some sexy times if you're alone.

A relationship takes work. Sometimes love has to be an active choice that you make, because you may not feel like it.

Ask her if there's any place she'd like to go. If she likes shopping, take her shopping. Spend the day together and tell her how pretty she is and how lucky you are to have her.

You've gotta treat each other as if you're still trying to win one another like when you were first dating.

>and our routine has become just that. Routine

I mean, when I was married, I legitimately never understood people's complaints about this -- a sense of comfortable, reliable routine is one of the very few things I miss from my marriage. I'd honestly say to embrace routine, rather than fight it. Find the easiness of it, find the respite that in a chaotic & high-pressure life, you at least have this one stable thing to come back to every night.

Why care about someone else's marriage though? If you're sure it's shit without kids why even bother giving a shit? With that said it seems like if people simply love each other things can be fine

>sure its shit without kids
it was made, specifically for kids. so you wouldnt leave you family and fuck other women after having kids.

>Why care about someone else's marriage though?
i explained this you retard, it weakens the institution of marriage. its a good thing your arent having kids because the world doesnt need more retards like you.

I feel you there. The routine IS a good thing to have, it keeps life stable. But at the same time (for me at least), there needs to be some sort of balance to keep life interesting. It doesn't have to be grand gestures or insane globe trotting adventures, but I'd feel like by doing exactly the same thing day in and day out for the rest of my life, I'd be failing to grow as a human.

OP here. I didn't' want to bring the kids thing up specifically because people feel very strongly about whether couples are "obligated" to have children or not.

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a transparent rationalization of hedonism

Why do you care about the institution being weakened if your marriage is strong? I don't get the anger. Again there are other reasons why people might get married. What about couples that have children and don't marry but live happily? I'm curious if that frustrates you as well