In a few days I'm going to a party for the first time ever. I'm going with 3 friends. Now, I don't like loud places, don't drink and don't like the type of music that will be played there but I WANT to go because it's stepping out of my comfort zone.
Give me advice, how do I prepare? What do I do there? Thought about wearing a low key Fullmetal alchemist shirt to lure out the weebs and make them talk to me, is this too autistic? What about a band shirt?
I'm 19 KHV would be neet if not for college.
Take 2 because the first time I posted a few days ago it came of as me not wanting to go and all advice were on not going because I don't want to.
be social, listen to others, drink some booze to lessen your anxiety but don't overdo so you don't look like a fool.
the gist of speaking is to have confidence, so whatever comes out of your mouth has value and groundness. Of course, confidence doesn't come easily from thin air, but from grinding away through some embarrassing situations. So keep on trying, failing, learning and succeding.
Jack Evans
I don't usually drink, I dislike the taste. Should I force myself to drink a bit?
Go. Start by hanging out with your friends. Let them introduce you to their friends. Join in group conversations until you find people you do relate to, and then hang with them.
Don't drink if you're not normally a drinker. (To avoid standing out you can nurse one drink all night). Nervousness could make you drink too much, with various bad results.
If it gets really bad, find another wallflower, male or female, and chat with them about how much you both hate parties.
Mason Howard
Well my main plan was and still is to find the one weirdo, preferably female, with who I can relate and talk the night away.
I don't know, I'm an introvert fuck and I've never rejected a party offer, there's nothing to prepare or think about too much, just buy booze and join some people for some laughs, if you go there with the sole intention of flirting people will see that and it's kind of awkward.
Bentley Lee
>I'm an introvert fuck and I've never rejected a party offer What's your experience, has it helped you in any way?
Samuel Lewis
Replying for more TG pics. >I don't usually drink, I dislike the taste. Should I force myself to drink a bit? Force yourself to drink. It's an acquired taste that's worth acquiring. Don't get trashed though because you don't want to stand out. Also if people are playing drinking games, it's an easy way to not be the guy standing in the corner without having to talk to people. Also could be a decent conversation starter.
Ideally dress well but not too well, be friendly but not too friendly, get drunk but not too drunk. Emphasis on the not toos because you'll usually regret those more.
Samuel Scott
Well what about the shirt idea? No one has answered that yet.
It's gonna be the mainstream shitty rap , hip hop that's from where I am. 10 times worse than the american equivalent it's a new years eve party in a club.
No, my introversion is absolute bullshit most times, but on the other hand I think I get things from life being more emotional and sensitive that most "normal" people don't, so it is what it is, I don't think I would trade this for something else.
It's bullshit in the sense that I don't do small talk and never show any interests in anyone, so firsts impressions are never good and people dislike me until they get to know me, it's problem when you're the new guy at the job, but somehow I also make very good friends who I can talk with about anything. In normie territory it's bullshit but I get away with it by being the crazy Ukranian guy. The thing that I'm still figuring out is always being on the defensive and reacting aggressively, but I think I'm doing fine for now.
Colton Peterson
Well that's good to know. From your commend I find myself very similar. I can not for the life of me initiate first contact
Joseph Sanders
FMA shirt looks kinda edgy if people don't know what it is. Would wear AI. Really depends on whether you can pull off the first one and which kind of people you want to talk to. Also probably more likely people will know Green Day than Anime.
Leo Jones
I can initiate first contact, if it's on the job, very easily, but on my own and with girls especially yeah I can understand it's difficult and physically painful sometimes. I think it's a mix of being nervous because you haven't talked to a girl in years and disinterest at the same time, a mix of many things, you want to get laid, but you do not want to listen to some random bullshit, I don't know I've found it difficult to be in an engaging conversation with a girl. I don't like the entire "life is simple" mentality.
Joshua Smith
>FMA shirt looks kinda edgy I know it looks like an edgy metal cover. I wore it once to a con and people recognized it but it's a different public now.
Trust me, where I'm from the odds are the same. It's a rarity to listen to rock let alone foreign rock let alone a punk/rock band that started in late 80s
I want to talk to introverted autists like myself
James Carter
I'm in the same boots as you. I can initiate first contact when it's school or job related but when I go in expecting it to be romantic I fail.
Eli Lopez
- Have a shower and use deo before you go - Get some normal clothes, just dress in plain stuff if your not sure what looks good. - Get to party - Have a few drinks (get some premix drinks if you don't normally like Alcohol) - Hang around with the friends you know so you don't look like a loner - Don't be autistic unless your sure the other person your talking to is a autist too - Have fun
Joshua Davis
Uber autistic question but where do you spray deo? I'm always just using a roll on on my armpits after showering.
Matthew Green
>Uber autistic question but where do you spray deo?
In your armpits?
How have you never used spray deo before? Are you 12?
Lincoln Reyes
Yes, isn't that where you're supposed to use roll on? With spray I just kinda sprayed everywhere I don't know the general way no. Physically 19, socially 9
MC of Tatami Galaxy. Does not have a name. Sometimes referred to as watashi.
Aiden Kelly
Bumping
Joseph Morgan
You also risk making yourself stand out and looking weird to the normies by doing this. Gotta weigh it up
James Allen
Here's my train of thought: 1. People who don't know what it is - don't mind it because it's a nice looking shirt, hand with a grenade that looks like a heart, cool design
2. People who know what it is - Oh that guy likes Green Day as well wow, that's a rarity here, I better go and try to talk to him
Brandon Taylor
The second one I do get which is why I'm not straight up advising against it, however you're still gonna stand out and look different (maybe edgy) from those wearing plain smart casual clothes that people normally wear at parties. It might not have a negative effect at all, I've just seen awkward boys in band and weeb shirts before stick out like sore thumbs. But if that makes you happy and you'll feel comfortable in it, yolo - I hope the plan works and someone who likes em notices
Anthony Diaz
Well I plan on having a hoodie zip up to go along with it so the shirt is not exposed that much, I'll have the hoodie unzipped.
I thought about it all user
Lucas White
Hahaha You sound just like me when I was your age man. Hell, I probably made a thread about it on Jow Forums back then too. So trust me when I say I know there's probably a lot of stuff going through your head right now. And I also know there's not much we can say to you that could really help you make up your mind. But I know you're probably going to go anyway so let me say those few words of advice (basically stuff I wish I would've known when I was in your place 5 years ago) :
*It's probably not going to play out like you expect it to play out, none of the fantasies (be it good or bad) you're making up in your head at this very moment have a chance to happen, so be ready for that and try not to be disappointed when things don't go your way. It's probably going to be a lot of fun either way.
*Don't drink too much and don't give in to peer pressure (it's a big one)
*Dance, for the love of god, dance, it'll unlock a whole new world of possibilities, I know you're probably not going to because it's a pretty big step to take, but keep it in the back of your head.
*There are no stupid questions, don't be afraid to ask stupid stuff like "so what do you do for a living" or "do you have any hobbies" to people, getting a conversation going is important, and those mindless filler questions are a fine fuel for people like you and me.
That's all, for now, I'll come back if I think about some more stuff. Feel free to ask any questions if you have any concerns or stuff.
Isaiah Lee
It's always nice seeing an answer from someone who was in a similar situation. Feels like it's a message from your future self you know? Well it looks like you're better now and I'm glad. -I don't expect it to but I can't stop myself from thinking, If I get even 1 girl's social media info and have a nice conversation I would consider that a big win. -This one I'm 100% sure I won't fall for, I don't drink and I DO NOT fall for peer pressure -Well never, you can't really dance to this stuff desu either. -I'm unironically in the process of making a .txt list of things I should remember to ask someone there.
Thanks.
Brandon Sullivan
Don't rule out drinking either, nobody likes the tastes at first, but it's a lot of fun once you get used to it, just like coffee. But yeah, I know how you feel, for now focus on going and having fun, leave getting drunk for the next few times.
Nathaniel Jenkins
I've tried drinking, it really doesn't do it for me ( I don't even like coffee ). Yeah it's best to live it for the next time
Julian Carter
Honestly depends on whether you can pull it off. If youre scrawny, pale, and unkempt, or otherwise awkward in appearance, it might be best to dress normally. If the shirt is the only thing not fitting in you should be fine.
Michael Butler
Forgot to quote the shirt thing
Nicholas Martin
Graphic tee + hoodie is not a good club outfit, mate. Please tell me you have slightly nicer shirts.
John Price
>don't drink nobody likes milling around in a loud room full of strangers, that's why we drink >Fullmetal alchemist shirt go for it, it's a popular series that many nonweebs have seen and could be an icebreaker
Austin Phillips
>*Dance, for the love of god, dance Actually fuck this. It is literally impossible to dance to modern club music. Unless you have boobs you will look retarded.
Zachary Edwards
I'm skinny but I'm also short so I don't look THAT skinny. 2 in a row saying I should not do it, really sending me mixed signals Yeah but I like being aware of my surroundings and being clear headed. And there's another person who says I should wear the shirt.
Michael Rivera
Yeah that's exactly what I said, it's not waltz or some shit like that, you can't dance to it
Henry Lee
>mixed signals on the shirt You described this event as a party and I think a lot of us took it to mean a house party but in another post you said it’s at a club. Those graphic tees could totally be worn at a house party or a bar, but clubs tend to expect slightly fancier dress. Some clubs will even bar you from entry if you don’t look halfway decent.
Jonathan Parker
Fuck There's even that stuff? Just another thing I need to think about. Well then... I don't know.
Noah Evans
Don't know what that user is talking about, I think you should be fine.
Anthony Green
Just saying, that’s my experience from clubs in America. People dress up a bit. You should honestly ask your friends what the proper dress should be
Nathaniel Martinez
2 are going with plain button up shirts 1 doesn't know yet I want to be at least a bit different.
Jaxson Evans
>spray deo I used to use axe body spray and it did absolutely nothing and I had no idea until my friend started telling me I had bad body odor. Use the stick deodorant that you rub on your pits.
Evan Stewart
I'm using those but I don't think they make me smell good, just neutral
Kevin Parker
Isn't that how it should be though?
Lincoln Morales
OP, do you have a one colored shirt with a breast pocket or something like that? with some slim fit jeans and neutral shoes, you should be fine.
Carter Sanders
I do have a shirt like that yes. So I should drop the idea?
Dylan Reed
I think you can't go wrong with either shirt, one colored or printed, because you are 19, it's a normal age for wearing a printed shirt. But I was thinking what another user said about you being in a club, because they do tend to be more formal. In that case, you should go with a one colored shirt so you can go in.
Tyler Collins
I doubt they'll kick me out considering what the general public my age here wears. I'll have to thin k about it.
Samuel Sanders
drop a coin on it, as I said, you can't go wrong. don't overthink it and have fun. I'm sure you'll have a great time
William Nguyen
Thank you user, it's tomorrow I'm hoping for the best.
Jayden Jackson
I only have one tip for you that usually improves my nights out and led to my best nights ever. You have to drink alcohol, just dont overdo it.
Drink to the point where you are "wild and free" and full of confidence but do not go to the point where you blackout or become tired.
Ryan Morales
I've never been drunk in front of my friends. First of I don't like the taste and second of the fact that it can make me say and do some pretty fucked up shit makes me scared of it.
Christopher Parker
Don't you like coctails? Something like a Mojito, it can be very refreshing and is tastes good, it has mint and lime, and alcohol is pretty much watered down. If you have a few sips you won't get fucked up and will keep it altogether, just give you enough confidence to talk to other people there.
Brandon Gutierrez
cocktails*
Gabriel Howard
mix some vodka up with juice, you wouldnt be able to taste it. And yes you might say some fucked up shit, but that is what happens when you're out. No one will hold you accountable to it, unless you threaten someone with violence or break the law.
Because you're in that state of unpredictability, you can reach the peak amount of fun, which is why people love drinking, they never know whats gonna happen.
Hunter Wood
I've never tried that one in particular. If it's fruity I guess it can't taste that bad. I might as well just force it down, I don't like it but it's not like I would refuse to drink it if my life depended on it.
Parker Reed
Same sometimes I also just down it, it can taste really horrible, but its better than feeling lonely and being bored. Because everyone else will be buzzed out of their mind on alcohol.
Once you've gotten tipsy and close to drunk, it will be easier to drink stuff that tastes horrible btw.
Kevin Bell
But I have no idea how I would behave under alcohol, what if it just multiplies my anxiousness I've gotten drunk once before but I was home alone.
Xavier Brown
I promise it wont, I am also anxious talking to girls and stuff, but when you and they are drunk. It goes away, no one cares about you saying stupid shit, neither do you. You might care when you wake up again, but at that point it doesnt matter anymore
James Walker
You wouldn't be here if you didn't already know that going out of your comfort zone is a good idea. Contemplate the possibility that you're over exaggerating how much the volume, alcohol and music is going to affect you simply because coming up with those reasons makes it easier to justify not going. I think you know full well that your gut-instincts have lead you wrong. Stop following them. If you have a strange compulsion to do something then do the complete opposite. You're 19. You're still very young but right now in this very moment is the time that you HAVE to start breaking your habit of letting anxiety run your life. Wear a normal shirt. Stop clinging to the things and people that make you comfortable. Talk to people who irritate you. Drink something you don't like. Listen to music that sounds like shit. EXPOSE YOURSELF TO LIFE. You can't possibly hope to become a mature, well-adjusted individual if you're so poorly conditioned to anything outside of your comfort zone that being exposed to it even for 2 hours at a house party is unbearable to you.
I find shrooms make me the most confident and comfortable for conversation. Of course if you haven't done them, don't make a party the first time because that shit can fuck you if you don't know what you're doing. Anyways, let us know how it goes tomorrow.
Jonathan Cox
That's a good way to look at it. I'm not trying to justify not going I'm serious about going. 100% I'm going, I wasn't sure yesterday but I'm sure of it now. But then again, I can't do all the things you listed, that would just be faking it. I'm still me. I never tried them and neither will I in the near future. I will update for sure but it's late at night so I doubt this thread will survive until then. I might make a thread with the same image updating but I doubt many people from this thread will see it.
Justin Wright
>I might make a thread with the same image updating but I doubt many people from this thread will see it. Do that, I'm interested and I want to project my life onto yours because I have nothing interesting going on in my life.
