GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

New Year Edition

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get well soon mom :(

i've done nothing but sit in my room for the entire duration of my christmas break and i feel miserable but at the same time i love it

hello new me
I hope you work towards being a better you.
remind yourself each day what an extrodinary person is like
don’t fuck this up

when are you coming......

Recently homeless. Have a drug charge from being stupid, minor thing. But no job and having to delve deeper into drugs to keep afloat,. Was considering driving on the interstate untill finding a uninhabited stretch and walking into the woods and offing myself. Save myself the trouble of dealing. I'm thrity, no forward momentom, so I guess I'm just the trash taking itself out?

What I'm asking really is would my family be liable for any fees or charges I would have if I offed.myself?

Hey Tatiana, if you’re reading this, fuck you. If you didn’t want to hook up on the first date, you shouldn’t have said “I’m good” when I asked if you wanted to keep going. We had a lot in common and talked a lot, but that doesn’t matter huh?

>cute girl shows interest in me
>think I will FINALLY have a gf this year
>ask her out
>she says yes
>she then cancels the date
>yesterday all her status updates were pics of her making out with some guy and writing about how great he is

I feel like most people don't have a soul and that the NPC meme is true. Otherwise why do they act like a robot or an animal when I talk to them?

I think you might honestly have autism, user. Have you been diagnosed with anything?

Nope, I also asked my therapist if I have autism or aspergers or anything like that and he said no.

I love you, D*****y.

>tfw dating a girl you know isn't that interested in you but at least you're consistent and she's better than nothing
I wanna say I'm gonna stop dating her as soon as something better comes up but that seems to be in the later rather than sooner. Plus I do kinda really like her.

I kind of miss going to church
In Italy you're basically forced into it by your parents when you're a child, even if they themselves don't really believe
I remember hating it when I was a kid, I didn't believe in god and I didn't want to receive the confirmation sacrament, made a huge fuss about it and fought my parents all the way through it, I was happy as fuck when I did eventually receive it and I could stop going to church every damn Saturday
It's been ten years or so since then, and it's weirding me out how much I find myself thinking back to my church and missing going there, missing the people, missing the cerimony, missing the atmosphere, missing it all
I don't believe any more now than I did then, so I don't really understand what the fuck changed in these years to make me miss a place that I used to hate that much
I wonder if Sister Emilia is still alive, she was a good woman, I miss her as well

It's been years this situation didn't change. You're that distant Reason why I can't walk on with a clear conscience. I Don't know where to find you and I Don't know what my future is made of. And there's never anything certain about you. As much as it's extremely blurry... I will Always feel guilty of doing Something I've never done. I can't stand that anymore.
I wish I could ignore all that, but I can't.
I feel older than what I should be.

I don't deserve all that.

-S

She is going to convince you that you have no life here and you need to move back to Brazil with her. She knows it's not what you want but she thinks you don't know what is good for you. What she will never admit to anyone including herself, is that she never wants to let you go. That will be the case when she gets you to move back there with her. She knows you'll be completely lost and be totally dependent on her and your brother. That's what she wants. She wanted that for awhile now. She knows she has to convince you that you'll be better off but knows how stubborn you are so she's been working on you this whole time. She is secretly happy when you fail here because she knows it'll just prove that you need to move with her. If you succeed here? That will mean you are independent of her and she knows if you make it back to him, even though you and I will never be together, she won't be allowed around him so she wants you to leave the country with her - all the while putting the spin on it that it's all my fault you're having to leave. She'll cry her fake tears about how much she misses him and how I took him away. And you both will ride off into the sunset blaming me for everything. Sad thing is you won't find happiness there and as the years go by and realize you'll never be able to return to the states, regret will consume you. What you can't see is that there really is a way back to him but you have to get better in order to do that - you can't while she keeps poisoning you. I guess I need to start preparing him for the permanent loss. I really thought you'd pull through for his sake but you're so much weaker than I ever realized. Sad.

Kong?

sounds fucked up, you women are monsters.

Some mothers are monsters - especially the ones who view their children as puppets or property

I hate the relationship we have now. It's a weird limbo of being too intimate to be just called friends, but not enough to be a couple. I didn't want to fall in love with you, but you pushed for it, said those words first. Now I'm the one that loves you more than you love me. Sometimes it feels like you don't love me at all. I'm such a low priority to you. You choose me last, always an excuse. I understand you are busy with the new job, but if you truly wanted this to work, like you said you did, you would find the time, even a second. I want things to work out, I want to be patient and wait for you, but it feels like I'm the only one trying anymore. Deep down I know I have to let you go and move on. I just don't want to admit it.

Initials ?

I’m going to Navy bootcamp in April to become a hospital corpsman, and my main goal right now is to do the 5 or so years of that then use the GI shit for whatever interests me by then, right now I’m looking at either medical school or something in engineering. It’s really the only shot I have to get to that level and I guess these past few days I’ve been feeling various amounts of pressure about it all, not exactly in the best financial or family situation as well at the moment, which is another reason why I’m going. I guess my main reason for feeling so anxious is the thought of all of that time ending up being a waste, even with the good bits the Navy offers, though I suppose I can use that as encouragement to make the best out of my time, both the good and bad parts. I know I have my work cut out for me, but these things are never easy regardless, and if I fail I suppose I can say that I at least tried, which has to be worth something. I hope you enjoyed my blogpost.

user, maybe stop viewing going to church as a "tribute to God", and more of a "quality time with a community of people". You can enjoy the company of people and atmosphere, maybe even help out here and there without truly believing. What's the harm? You can help out, do good things, and in return have a community that will help you out, support you etc.

>best friend abandons me on new years to chase some thot

I just want to stop being afraid. I want my mind to feel "normal" again. Whatever that was. I want to be brave and strong and happy. I want to stop dreaming about her. I want to feel like I'm not a loser and a failure. I want to be free from this prison in my mind. I want to stop being so ungrateful for all of these amazing blessings in my life, why can't I use all of this potential that I HAVE? I feel like I'm slowly wilting. That the yellow field of lovely flowers will turn to grey and I will be reduced to ash and stone in time. I feel sick, but nothing makes me feel better. I just want love. I want peace. I want victory over myself.

Brah why torture yaself so much juss do what ya feel like

Base post. Love this shit right here.

I don't know why I torture myself. I worry too much. But I still can't stop worrying, despite knowing I worry too much. I'm also very lonely.
Doing my best to do my best, brother

I'm fed up with my lazy fat wife. She doesn't keep the house clean and she never exercises even though she has an indoor bike and a gym membership. I'm sick my house being cluttered all the fucking time and I don't have time to fix it myself cause I work 60 to 70 hrs a week and I have an hour commute each way.

I'm so tired of asking for her to pitch in and help out. I don't want to lose my kids but I'm really thinking about divorce

We all by our lonely down here yeah
Dat a relief we care for our selves
Be kind to ya self and problems'll go
All that don't matter
Is jus a bad moment
Bless ya

You have no idea how much I would be willing to work WITH you if you just got the fuck away from her bs and became more independent. Idc if you move in with a gf, that'll be healthier than the shit you're in now. Fuck pull it together boy.

I samefag a lot

I'm starting to give up on Tinder. I do okay in terms of getting matches, probably nowhere near the amount that Chad Thundercock gets but I do decent enough. I wouldn't call myself the best looking of guys, but I'm far from ugly.

For every 15 girls I message, I'm lucky to get one message back, and even if I do, the conversation dies soon enough.

I've got Tinder gold which lets me see who liked me and there's this girl, really pretty and seems cool, and shares similar interests to me. I just know if I like her and message her she won't reply. I just know it.

What do I need to do to actually just get somewhere?

Not use Tinder

Get out in the real world

Why don't you invite him to live with you then?

There's no way this is for me but it applies so much and it's something I needed to hear

Try OkCupid and Bumble instead of Twitter. Also have one buddy whose had good luck with Match.com

I got the chilli squirts from last night's drinking.
My asshole is on fire... fuck.

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Take a sitz bath with Epsom salts. Eat something bland, like mashed potatoes.

I love you so much... please love me. You make me so happy.

FALSE ALARM! FALSE ALARM!

Live with your mom?

Because he doesn't need another mommy. He needs to grow up and be a man on his own for his kid.

You are going to have a really bad time if you still think that your gf is your only source of happiness and that you don't need anything else. And the worst of all is that you are leaving your friends, that group that saw you crying like a shit when you feel down, just cause you are obsessed with your relationship (that comes from, literaly, nowhere). Good luck bro, and had the decency of not coming to me when shit happens.

My feelings for you remain unchanged. But I will focus my time and efforts on getting over you instead of talking to you.

Not that you care. I think I'm starting to regret that night.

Started period?

Ah codependent smell is in the air.

D - I was with 4 other guys while I was “seeing” you. One nearly moved in with me and he was 23 and a much better lay. So get over your goddam self. Who’s the real PUA? It’s me, you fucking ho.

Oh man I'm neurotic but I'm not this neurotic damn lmaooooo

Bro, its the same shit i went over with a girl, it was like having an angel and at the same time a demon with me, in the end that relationship was toxic af, i discovered i was a mf codependant becouse i was a occasionally drinker but being with her made me so special, (she had some daddy issues btw) so fuck that bro, get out of that, go gym and get a new social circle.

I've had crushes before. When I was younger and dumb I thought it was love, but I never actually connected with them. It was always just some girl I had known maybe a month or two and they said some nice things to me or were very pretty. I'd be head over heels and fuck it up, or get friendzoned.

I've known her over a two years now. She is a solid 7 (I'm a strong 6 on a good day), and has said nice things of course. But I am most attracted to her soul. Her dreams and her thoughts. Her love for knowledge and books. Her never ending curiosity. Her jokes and how she teases me (and me her), to the point where an outside observer would consider it bullying, but we would just laugh because they don't understand us. The way neither of us fit in our cultures, we're outcasts, but we fit each other like a glove. It might be the first time I've ever actually loved someone.

We started as just pen pals, but now we're best friends who talk every day. My parents and all the songs always told me to not try and find love, and just let it happen. I wasn't looking for love when I met her. We just became friends and my feelings grew to more over time.

We will never be together. Her mild Asperger's means she has never felt romantic love in her life. It took her years to teach herself to love people, just as people. She will never love me the way I love her. And even if she did, she lives on the other side of the world, and she is not Christian, so my church would never allow our marriage. She has even admitted to having never felt sexual desires, and anyone who was with her would have to be ok with possibly never or rarely having sex. Honestly, I've made it this long in life without it. If it meant she was by my side, I'd keep going without it. I just want to hold her close and talk about the wonders of life. My heart aches every day.

I was able to mention it, and play it off as a joke/not serious feelings once I knew she couldn't feel the same. I can never tell her the full extent.

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It would ruin our friendship. A friendship she has told me she holds as one of her most precious treasures. It would devastate her. I could never hurt her. I have to suffer alone. But it's ok. As long as she is happy, it doesn't matter how much I hurt.

I love you Julia.

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It’s been a pretty good joke when I tell people you’re 30 and you look at your high school yearbook and cry. Both guys and girls laugh. Because that’s pathetic and creepy af. Those girls are happily married to men who can afford to buy houses and support children. Like most women your age, that’s what they want. And you know this and that’s why your crying, right? You sad bastard.

>hey u guys listen to this siiiick joke haha okay ready?
>OTHER'S MISERY!
laughingassholes.tif

I don't get it

How do you choose what to give? There’s no guarantee everyone wants some

I'm the one who took the poop on the floor, and smeared it on the walls, and on the cat. I think you know though mom. because its only me and you who live there.

also that was a bit rude of me, sorry. I don't know the full situation. I just don't like jerks is all! >:(

I needed that chuckle. Thanks user.

>Talk to an online friend, know him for a while
>As a joke I casually sexually harass him every now and then(slap his butt, etc)
>I make sure he's 100% okay with it, he is and finds it funny
>Cool, we continue to be friends
>Fast forward a few months
>We escalate the casual harassment to casual sexual roleplay, again I go slow and make sure he's okay with it
>He is
>As a matter of fact, he's also turned on, is enjoying it and doesn't mind doing it
>INSTANTLY HARD, precumming at even the slightest notice
>He is, to me, literally PERFECT for this shit
>We agree to do it again
>Feel fucking good about myself going to bed, anxiety is fucking diminished because I'm too busy thinking about him and future chats and what we're gonna do next, pretty much looking forward to the coming (lol) days now
>Literally so happy and can't stop thinking about it
>Message him today
>He's not comfortable about it anymore and wants to stop for reasons
>After a long talk about it we both decide to stop any form of sexual stuff altogether, even the casual harassment I was always doing

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS TOO. Don't get me wrong, he has every right to stop and I'll respect that, but damn. We're still friends though. At least now I know I like this stuff.

Sadly none of my friends are even remotely interested in role play, I guess it is pretty easy to just find some random person on discord, but it's not really the same, is it?

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I'm in the same boat.

Did your dad's friend give you bad touch? got sexuality issues because you grew up using romantic fucking comedies as a yard stick for what you're "supposed" to do in high school? FUCKIT, it's all your deadnames' problems now! Just keep taking your pills and maybe it'll all go away forever without any lasting damage or ramifications whatsoever.

I'm only here because of you and another, who reminded me of you.

Kind of stupid of me. Me of all people, to get tangled up like this. I almost texted you last night. Maybe I should have, maybe all these sweet memories mean something. Your number was on my screen a while before I removed it. He isn't yours and you know it. There's nothing left for us to discuss. You're still the best I ever had, I swear you took what was left of my soul.

Bye, Ty.

Visiting your bf a couple times in Germany is not the same as moving in with him. You're so naive. He hasn't visited you once but you're moving in with him.
When reality sets in and you're not happy there either I'm make sure to post here a big ole I told you so.

Did you just date a trans person?

Got myself a cadillac, but I can't afford the gasoline
Know what I mean? I want some things from life; I should be able to have them, but I don't.

No. It drives me crazy when people transition because they refuse to deal with their issues head on. Every day I'm a little more convinced that my country"men" and "women" are emotionally stunted children.

Give it time. When you are done growing up you'll get there too.

Aaaaaannnnnddd she has a boyfriend again.

Are you black?

Those are ACDC lyrics my man

I need you so bad, babe

oh.. In that case I know you're white lol.

What night?

It all started when you first began working at the same place as I. You were in need of help those first few days and I was there to be of assistance. Then, we grew a little closer, talking and finding out that we has some things in common. We were always there to lend an ear to each other when needed. When you needed assistance finding that one thing you desperately needed, I was there for you almost every step of the way.

I don't know when my feelings changed, but they have. I have fallen for you hard as a rock. My day brightens up when I see your smiling face. I like you for you, even your flaws. Without them you wouldn't be the same person that I fell for in the first place.

Now for the hard part. You now have your eyes on another. He swooped in and took you right from me without me even realizing. I'm not sure how this happened, probably because I was slow to pull the trigger. And, it sucks because now I have to watch you with him everyday from now on.

Now, I sit here with a broken heart, as well I found out that I am sick with a terrible illness. As much as I want to tell you, mainly because you know that I am basically alone without the majority of my family not around, I cannot. I will have to keep it under wraps even though it is getting harder with every passing day. I can't rain on your parade because that would not be fair to the two of you.

Now, I watch the woman that I love in the arms of another everyday. It pains me that you will never know how I truly feel about you. I love you, always.

The only night we had.

You asked if I wanted to be together, I agreed, so we made plans for New Years Eve, then avoided my texts and calls for the rest of the evening. I'll be avoiding talking to you forever now

You think you’re so fucking hot that you film yourself. Babbling nonsensical shit.

You’re only slightly better-looking than your fellow PUA faggot Eliot Rodgers and at least HE could string five intelligible thoughts together.

I wish I could be myself when I talked to you.

I wish I could be myself when I talk to anyone

You know you want me :3

I wish I could talk to someone :(

Can you tell it's me? owo

::blood is thicker::

>grandfather forges my mother's signature to steal her pension plan's lump sum
>now her monthly paychecks from social security will be pitiful

ok he's a scumbag but he's family. we'll forgive him. we're strong.

>family unable to afford house
>declare bankruptcy
>relocate to another state
>purchase a house under my grandfather's name

see? he did us a favor? this is our second chan-

>grandfather refinances the shit of our house unbeknownst to us
>our monthly payment is fucking skyrocketing up the ass
>every time parents confront him, he denies it
>grandfather even accuses my father of being addicted to gambling
>false and he's a hypocrite, grandfather is the biggest fucking gambler ever
>ask grandfather $1,000 for uni textbooks
>goes ape shit on me
>fridge rarely filled, utilities constantly getting shutdown due to unpaid bills, constantly under threat of eviction
>house eventually gets foreclosed because payments are too goddamn high
>extended family constantly talks shit about our family
>belittles us, antagonizes us
>wake up everyday to parents yelling
>turn music up to drown out the fighting
>stay in room and avoid human contact
>escape from reality into video games and weed
>stuck in this purgatory for years

this is why i long to see you and avoid you like the plague. i'm sorry. i wish i were stronger. i wish it were easier for me to forget the past twenty years. i love you but i despise you. you created this monster.

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Man o man,im embarrassed to type this.
Im afraid of driving.
>20y/o
>College friends male fun of me
Man I dont know how I set myself up for this but damn.
I really wish my anxiety would go away while driving

Just go visit when you have the time. You can decide if you want to participate after.

I miss you A. I wish you'd miss me.

I do miss you S.

Sorry, i'm M

It's okay to be a little anxious about driving. You need to do it more and more until your brain numbs itself to the worry. Just try and always be aware of your surroundings and always try and drive smoothly and communicatively towards other drivers around you. Keep your heel always planted on the floor of the car and keep your foot hovering over the right half of the brake, and without moving the spot your heel is in, pivot your foot so its over the accelerator when you need to accelerate. Always be ready to brake, and watch for brake lights ahead so you know what to anticipate.

t. driving enthusiast

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No actually, so maybe it isn't what you meant

I'm not sure if I want a SO that has a princess complex or not.

I just like the idea of having someone who needs me as much as I do them but not knowing it.

I hope she gets well soon user :(

I think I fucked up with this girl I love, I took too long and made myself lose interest even when she showed interest in me. So lonely

I am *really* addicted to porn.

I feel quite fatigued. I feel like the lack of sun has actually caught up to me finally. That's okay because I already got through the potentially hardest part as the days go longer each day.
Tomorrow I will make a great stew with everything I can throw in. But that is tomorrow, and this is cold night, so I am predisposed due to it being too late to make a stew now. Instead I will just be drunk as a skunk. I'll rest my body for now, and eat lots of food tomorrow and rest some more. I've been a lot of chores here at home because I already had all the holiday season stuff dealt with at nov 30 because I had the luxury to be that prepared. Instead of wasting time at those busy stores which are extra packed due to postal grumples and backlogs and negotiations and many other thing to be said of the like made sure extra people just go it direct from a store. Then after xmas I order a bunch of things I had been hankering to get. Bunch of old games which are cheap as heck. I deiced to go a little further than normal and got some now games too just for the sake of having more fun things to mull over. So, now, instead of all that, I think I'll return to my current game habitat. This game I think I have a great character foundation but I will not grow tired with to play generally - so I should play a second game to not burn myself out from excess. Thinkin' Atari 2600 and slowing climbing throw the generations. It's been a decent time I need to go through that ration.
But really nags me is that I feel like I should share this experience I have. I feel vain in many ways for wanting to. But I think I can do it. It doesn't have to be well, I just rather share it instead and build it to adequate. I think that will be a good thing for me to try and learn to do properly. But mostly I think it will be good for me. This is what I like to do when I have time, and I have time really now. Got a good grove of chores now and life is simple finally.

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>through that ration
ROtation

I should go my free time at least and rest my body over the next few days.

I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I do the things I do, why I try to please people who barely care about me, or why I hate myself enough to not do the things I want instead of settling on just what I have and no more.

>Be 24, wait to go to college until now because the government considers you dependent on your parents' tax info until 24 years old
>Waited to go to school for that reason, for my mom's sake
>Missed out on tons of opportunities thanks to her, my long-since-dead dad, and all the shit they put me through growing up

Don't wanna focus much on that though, so keeping with the present:

>Shit went down with my mom and her issues early this year, I did some things any child in a healthy relationship with their parents shouldn't be willing to do (nothing sexual though)
>I was living with her at the time trying to help her out, she asked me to move out when things went south
>Almost moved to Minnesota where I have family, but that didn't happen
>Moved for the second time to Idaho where I have more family, worked full-time in shitty job, found out my aunt thinks I'm "the stupid nephew" because of some other shit with my dad from way back when
>She thinks I'm just like him when I've tried to show her otherwise on countless occasions
>Whatever, go back to school in Montana and move on
>Moved back to MT for the third time in a row despite the fact that I was raised here and hate it
>Only came back again because there was family here (who also barely give a shit about me) and because it was the first school that accepted me, never really wanted to be here
>Settled for the first school, job and place to live I could find
>live with shitty roommate who had parties all semester with drunk morons until 2-3 am, endure lots of loud bathroom/living room sex before he eventually moved out
>Go back to Idaho for xmas, aunt makes everyone in the family a Christmas card except for me, dotes on everyone else
>Reminded that I'm an outsider despite being family

Cont.

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>Get back to MT for remainder of break, have time to think before next semester starts

I've realized a few things lately.

>I'm working full-time in school to keep my bills low and missing out on all the time I should be spending socializing, networking and making relationships
>I'm at an average school that I don't especially like nor do I outright hate, paying out-of-state tuition because I was gone for awhile despite having lived most of my life here, and
I found out recently I might not even qualify for in-state costs by next fall, rendering it basically pointless for how few credits I'm taking
>I'm in a state I hate, isolating myself from all but the people at work, trying to tell myself that I can deal with it for school's sake despite having no social life and not enjoying myself really at all
>Almost everywhere I've lived, I went there because there were family and/or friends there and therefore it was safe, but almost none of those places I actually wanted to live in
>I attach myself to various parts of the family even though I'm an outsider with most of them simply because I don't know how to form relationships otherwise, and so I'm not living life as my own person
>I've spent years doing things for other people instead of for me and all it's left me with are hosts of mental issues, little desire to improve and no reason to feel good about myself

I'm not sure what to do. Part of my wants to say fuck it, apply to some school on the east coast where I've never been, where I have no family or friends and no one knows me, and just try my luck. But another part knows from experience that that's asking for catastrophic failure. I'm trapped and I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm so fed up with being conflicted over relationships.
Half of them don't even exist yet, they're just *potential* relationships that I'm constantly indecisive about starting.

I've been lonely for so long that I never feel confident about talking to girls, cause I can't tell if I'm actually into them or if I'm just desperate for a SO.

And even that doesn't really matter, since I've already mentally put (((girls))) on a pedestal, like they're some kind of prize I can win with enough soulless conversation.

That's not what I want. I want another human, goddammit, I want a good friend I can enjoy talking to, and cuddling, and all that fluffy shit, and I want to worry about someone else for once instead of just thinking about what I WANT.

And I don't know how to find that. Going around and asking people out until I find the one seems so forced, but I sure as hell can't wait around for someone (cause who the fuck would want me? I could write a novel about how much of a boring, depressed fuck I am.)

I'm so tired of waking up every morning with nobody to comfortably talk to.

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