Every fucking relationship i've ever had, it just ends the same way. I get cheated on and hurt. No matter what we've been through. My ex and i went through the literal hardest times of her life, i picked her up when she was completely shattered. I was there, and was always there for her.
The only thing that came out of this, i see shes happy now. And truth be told, seeing her happy means everything right now. She deserves it. I'm just going to stay alone. Relationships always end, no matter what. It may be next year or 50 years. They end. And the heart break gets worse and worse. I have so much love to give and thats what absolutely destroys me.
Every since i was young the only thing i've dreamed about was having a family with someone i love. And i'm thoroughly convinced that will just stay a dream.
It is always a shame when everything you talk about with somone, like the future and marriage and kids names, just goes out the window. Its almost as if a life not lived , that simply ceases to exist in reality- but always exists in my dreams.
I'm heart broken and alone, i've been crying every night looking at pictures of us.
I have one more semester left, and volunteering at like 3 places so hopefully i can just focus on that.
tl;dr i officially gave up on love, my heart cant take it any more
That's about all ive been doing about it , and i'm not going to let myself cry another damn tear about this
Juan Kelly
Don’t know how old you are, or how long your relationships last. Don’t know anything about you outside of this post. So I’ll just comment on that.
Why are you getting cheated on? Does she crave attention? Are you a novice at sex? Do you complain too much? Do you go above and beyond and be a foundation that she doesn’t want to lose? Are you indecisive? Are you growing?
You are part of a society that has embraced the ego and encouraged the rampant use of social media. This is a perfect storm for the catalyst known as temptation. There are those who don’t allow this to be so deeply entrenched, which is rare due to bombardment.
The only thing you can do is work on yourself, understand who you are and why, and set short term goals with the bonus goal of finding a mate. Someone who appreciates what you do, someone who sees that you have a set path, and someone who you can trust. All of this comes with experience.
All girls aren’t the same. You haven’t been with all girls. Because if you see that your ex is happy now, and it’s a good thing (at least when viewed from the outside), then guess what? It’s the same girl, different circumstance. Not saying the problem is entirely you. But it would be in your best interest to figure out how to be the guy that a woman wouldn’t cheat on.
Daniel Baker
You get cheated on on every relationship? Do you have a small benis? You might not be sexually satisfying (I'm sorry but it can be true).
Why do they always cheat on you? How old are you roughly, I'm curious as to what type of girls you are dating.
William Wood
Given that you have one more semester left, I'm assuming you're a college kid. Get over it man. (And no, I don't mean just suddenly be okay with everything, but give yourself some time to heal and stop dwelling on it.)
You're a kid still. You may not feel it, but trying to tame anyone in college is almost one of the worst ideas you can have, regardless of your gender. You haven't gotten jobs yet, you haven't grown up. You're fooling yourself if you think that you've learned anything yet, at a period of time where you have all of the freedom in the world.
You have "so much love to give," but it sounds like you're ultimately just clingy, and still expecting a Disney relationship instead of something realistic. Also, being overbearing with your love is overwhelming to most everyone. Take it back a bit.
Anyways, good luck. You have some growing up to do, and it will probably get better.
Jacob Evans
I've been with guys who say they have been cheated on every time. B I realized they just think that. I started getting accused of cheating even when they knew damn well I wasn't. Was with them every day and they have all access to my phone. Just out if fucking nowhere started accusing me. Because of paranoia. Really what it is You are too fucking emotional You are too much You are overbearing. You push women away from you. You are more emotional than a middle school diary.
Dominic Butler
I'm 21 and this past relationship was literally 3 years, just this last year was long distance - which is probably why that happened.
I honestly think its just because i'm insecure. Anytime i feel any repulsion from generally anyone in my life , i always get overly dramatic and wind up pushing them away even more. I'm just terrified of losing anyone thats close to me. It all started in high school with my first "love", i got cheated on with my close friend. That was also a long fucking relationship haha. The thing is however, i really hold that back or atleast try to because i know what it does to relationships.
I just need to focus on myself , like you said, i just need to get out of here. Thankfully, the job i accepted is across the country from where i'm at currently and has so much room to grow. I'll just focus on that probably and maybe i'll find someone. I dont have high hopes any more.
Literally every last one of them , and i dont have a small benis. I just feel like if that was truly the issue then some form of communication would happen before this total destruction of trust happens.
I'm 21. I attract normal girls i would say , everyone has issues and they are no different. This past girl , my ex, we both grew so much together and i helped her out with so much in her life. And she also helped me out in a lot of things too.
The last thing she told me was that she did tell me that , " i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you , you saved my life and ill never be able to repay you for that , i really hope we can stay in contact." I still dont know how ill respond to that.
I honestly dont think ill ever expect anything beside a Disney relationship. And you're right, i am clingy and i dont know how the fuck to change that.
She literally cheated on me , she told me about it because she felt terrible about it.
Robert Ramirez
but i am way too emotional , literally everything i do is seen through like a cloud of pure emotion. And it fucking sucks.
How do i work on that , like will it just take time?
Kayden Brown
She probably did it because you called her a cheater multiple times so she decided to become what she kept getting accused of. Or because you are an over emotional bitch who takes all the air out of the room and she couldn't even stand the way you breathe anymore and was trying to get out of the relationship. People cheat on you so you'll dumb them. It's an easy out
Ethan White
I've never called her a cheater , thats the thing. Nor did i ever expect it honestly , i literally trusted her with everything.
She wanted our relationship to still work out. idk how she can really expect that tho
Elijah Hill
So when you say every relationship, how many is that exactly?
Lucas Howard
at this point 3 , they were all like 2+ year relationships. Albeit, they were young relationships , but still holy fuck.
I know what you're getting at , however. I'm just not able to really think clearly right now.
Jacob Hernandez
It's awful and there's not really any justification for it. You took her on as a project. She wasn't strong enough to reciprocate. It cracks me up how many women take that kind of support for granted, and then balk at the notion of helping their boyfriends grow. You sound like a pain, but you're far from a terminal case, and she made a horrible mistake.
You'll heal and grow stronger for this. Don't feel like you earned this pain. You're just too sweet in a world that values really fucking stupid shit and learns from that mistake much too late.
Gavin Collins
Clingyness either deals with you got nothing going on with your life or attachment issues. I'm believe you have an anxious attachment style, search that up, I have it too. I know how you feel, you have so much love to give because you want a lot of love back, which can tire a person who isn't like that. Do you have friends, hobbies, jobs? How was your relationship with your parents? How do your parents treat each other?
Joshua Walker
OP here, I'm just going to stay alone for a while i hope this job allows me to find myself.
I'm sorry you were hurt by someone like that. I dont think i'm that bad, but what the hell do i know.
Elijah Gomez
Probably because you're crying and looking at pictures of her.
Talk it over with her. It doesn't have to be the end.
Alexander Brown
you could try talking to her if it's that bad. don't come to the conclusion all girls are the same because of how you're feeling, it's unrealistic and it harms you. if you can't talk to her, talk to another girl, search everywhere, and even though some relationships are bound to end, love is the only thing in this world worth fighting for and it improves you, don't be afraid to suffer because of it, suffering eventually ends and it changes you - promise.
Tyler Brooks
The thing is tho , she helped me in ways that ill never be able to repay her too. She gave me 2 years where i literally felt the best ive ever felt. And i know people generally say that when they fall in love. But this was different , like entirely different.
She helped me realize alot about myself, and how to deal with insecurities that i've always had.
I'm just scared that with all of this in my life, that ill wake up one day and not be able to love someone as emotional as i used to.
I think its for sure attachment issues or abandonment issues. I'm graduating next semester with a dual degree and i already accepted a really good paying job. Also, The 3 long standing relationships ive had, ive only ever told literally everything to my last one.
Yeah i have a good amount of really good people as friends , people who are goal oriented and actually care about me. I however , always push them away when it comes to anything with my relationship, and have only opened up one or two of them like a few times when we drink. Which is stupid, I really need a hobby , and wanted to start writting or something? But usually i go on support boards and try to help people.
I volunteer as a tutor to help people with learning difficulties get their GED. And also i'm volunteering at a mental health walk thing , because my ex girlfriend had mental health issues. And i honestly think thats why all of this happened , but i was always there for her with her issues , and i promised her i would never leave her because of it.
My parents were always very good to each other , like a relationship that i could honestly dream of. However, that being said , when i was really young they had issues, like alot . And i remember a lot of it. Which sucks but oh whale.
Kevin Peterson
I'll take a break for a few days, but yeah ill try to talk to her again. Its going to be a long few days.
Ayden Hughes
I just cant see anyone else in my life besides her. Literally every thing about her, it all i have every imagined in a person . She's not perfect and went through alot, but her soul is something ill never be able to forget.
I just need to finish this last semester, and maybe i'll try to talk to her to at least understand what went wrong.
Dominic Nelson
I am no expert on the matter, but I think you should aim to date women who are old enough to be in a relationship and women who are young enough to have kids. My estimate is 23 year old women. They seem to have it most figured out. None of them are single though, but I know several women in that age who are marriage material.
Ryder Martin
...
Jose Scott
People aren't all the same, you're the same in all your relationships. Your actions cause people to act in a certain way towards you.
Jayden Scott
Have you considered that you might be bad at sex?
Gavin Brown
Literally this.
Op is too much of a clingy faggot.
Angel Martinez
Am i doomed ? literally how do i change this about myself.
how do i just calm down when things happen , instead of emotionally responding to everything.
Jayden Ward
I hardly see what your shit taste in women has to do with anybody else but you. I've love a very good explanation as to how you picking terrible women is anybody else's problem.
William Harris
How you were raised in your childhood can affect you drastically, especially in relationships. The issues your parents had probably stuck with you, go to a therapist and ask them why you're very clingy, because the way you said that you have so much love to give means you have an anxious attachment style.
Also the type of people you attract reflect your personal issues subconsciously. That's why they say anxious people tend to date avoidant people without realizing, they're both subconsciously attracted to each other. Find out what issues you got OP and try to fix it. Make a list of the 10 things you want from a woman and 10 things you dont want from woman, read it every day so you can ingrained it to your head, its pseudoscience but some people claim that it helps keep track your wants and dont wants of a person.
Ian Nguyen
fuck you I can't even get a girl you fucking normie
Oliver Edwards
Is it really a bad thing that an anxious attachment style is in a relationship with an avoidant personality ? Like is there any way they could possibly work out ? Like i truly worry i wont be able to change how i feel love. Like it's so ingrained at this point that it scares me now.
Gavin Thomas
Exactly. Sorry to say this OP and I was romantic too and believed in love when I was like 15-17 years old but the sooner you learn this the better. Stop being a faggot and being so emotional and start to think about yourself and be open to know someone but not making that person the center of your life. She must be a complement to YOUR life. Like another friend but that you are closer and fuck. Nothing more.
God damned, when I read that thing about you thinking since you were very young to create a family... What the fuck man? It isn't bad thinking that but thinking that since you are a teenager? Think about getting good education and having fun. You will have time for that.
Thomas Murphy
Exactly.
Sorry to say this OP and I was romantic too and believed in love when I was like 15-17 years old but the sooner you learn this the better. Stop being a faggot and being so emotional and start to think about yourself and be open to know someone but not making that person the center of your life. She must be a complement to YOUR life. Like another friend but that you are closer and fuck. Nothing more.
God damned, when I read that thing about you thinking since you were very young to create a family... What the fuck man? It isn't bad thinking that but thinking that since you are a teenager? Think about getting good education and having fun. You will have time for that.
Brody Campbell
i'm graduating next semester with a dual degree, and im moving across the country for a job where i know absolutely no one. That's probably why i desperately need someone to be there with me, because being alone in that environment will be so hard- and something im not used to.
I understand , i'm way to emotional right now for anything that serious, like marriage or what ever. Just i honestly dont see myself ever changing how i love. I know it's childish and im fucking retarded. Good lord i just need to stop thinking i need a girl to be happy. Thats fully encompassed my entire life's thinking
I'm going to be done with relationships until im at least a year into this job.
Fuck , why the hell am i like this.
Ayden Morgan
...
John Jones
>and im moving across the country for a job where i know absolutely no one. That's probably why i desperately need someone to be there with me, because being alone in that environment will be so hard- and something im not used to. That's the problem. You just NEED someone to supports you because you can't be alone. It doesn't work like that. You has to be independent, being able to live by yourself without the emotional support of any friend or girlfriend or even family. Once you achieve that you achieve real freedom and independence.
Jaxon Long
I've had two whole serious relationships and they couldn't be more radically different. Mileage may vary, son Giving up is the surest way to lose anything
Carson Carter
But I understand that going to a new place to work not having any friend there is pretty hard. But if you achieve that, going there by yourself and doing what you have to do there and maybe meeting new people there, then you will have grown a lot.
Ryan King
You know i've been seriously trying to be completely independent , and for the most part i have. But its just when i find myself in a rhythm , like where i worked last summer. All of a sudden ill get hit by a fucking train and feel so alone. Literally the only thing that i've ever found to help that is having somone i love there with me.
Truth be told, if i could take out my emotions by pressing a button some days i actually would. They cause me more misery and suffering than anything else.
Connor Martin
yeah thats why im so terrified, i guess ill have to adapt and therefore grow up , i've always been good at adapting.
Adrian Kelly
Yes it's bad because it can cause resentment, the anxious one wants love while the avoidant wants only a little. It works when both aren't too much anxious or avoidant and both understand how they feel, will try to communicate their issues, and try to meet their needs, the anxious one will try to understand their clingyness and show a little less love while the avoidant will try to give a little more love.
You can change it, it will take time, understanding why you act like that, and therapy. Keep telling yourself to stop being clingy, fix your insecurities, and tell your partner how you feel.
Asher Ortiz
So um, i dont know wherther i should post it here cause thread seems apropriate or create a new thread. but here is my story:
So there is this girl i used to work with, she is in a relationship with someone for almost 3 years now. Half a year ago we met at work place, after a couple of weeks we started flirting, and eventually we kissed. it was softcore-intimate "relationship" till yesterday. We had sex. and at this point she is pretty convinced she wants to break up with him. I dont know about getting into relationship with someone like that (who is prone to cheating) but its not like i never expect that to happen to me.
Also: i have 2 ways of thinking about that... The, so to say "Good Guy" way of thinking - "Dont do it, he has feeling he's gonna get his heart broken, he's gonna be in a lot of pain". And the "Alpha Male" - "He is irrelevant, she chose you over him, you suppose to be getting what you want, if she doesnt respect him neither should you"
Tyler James
Damnit OP, This thread has me paranoid , what exactly do you do ?
Nathaniel King
At this point have you considered changing your personality? It seems to attract certain type of women, the kind you clearly do not like.
Jace Davis
Alpha seems more appropriate, but be careful, the same could happen to you in the future
Jayden Baker
yeah, but i always expect something like that to happen. i dont believe there are not-cheating women. If she's not gonna cheat that means she has done it multiple times in the past and learned some valuable lessons and EVEN THEN i dont believe. There is always that one guy that will know to push the right buttons and to say the right things. IMO
Aaron Gray
I can you one thing. You should look up some pickup videos on youtube, just to witness how many of them and how easy they cheat, its shocking.
Justin Reed
You seem okay with what could happen Would you cheat if you find someone irresistible who's into you or would you break up before anything else?
Anthony Hill
or did you do ? i should say
Nathan Flores
I dont know if i would cheat. I can say till i am not obligated by marriage and kids i wont hold myself back too much. But i am in love i wodnt be intrerested in other girls most likely. i just never experienced true love yet (i'm 24)
we were both very tempted to do it, we have touched each other and shared private pictures. it was a "lucky" moment when she had a little more spare time.
OP and all of this shit has me paranoid as fuck , her name doesn't start with E right ?
fuck you OP for making me insecure with one post
Charles Ross
No, it doesnt =) Her name doesnt start with E
Aaron Flores
thank fucking god hahah i knew that there was almost no possible way . But holy fuck reading these posts are making me second guess everything. Enough Jow Forums for a few hours
Matthew Johnson
story?
Cameron Turner
i'm desperately in need of how to change my personality. How do i stop being the anxious attachment love style. I need to be more independent when it comes to love- and i just know how.
Everything else in my life i control and am independent. This is just something i've never grew out of i assume.
Robert Lewis
dont know *
Landon Ramirez
I can tell you what helped me out with very similar problem.
1) Hit the gym atleast 3 times a week.
2) I watched a couple of youtube channels: FarFromAverage - the most impactfull one Based Zeus and RSD every channel of theirs
3) I read a couple of books: "The game" By Neil Straus "How to be 3% man" By Corey Wayne "Models" By MArk Manson -------------------------------------------------------------------- I really dont mean to flex, but i went within less than a year from obese kissles virgin with social anxiety and crush on his boss (she a chick), to a guy that girls (and homosexuals wtf) hit on me constantly and the majority of girls and in fact in a relationships. --------------------------- There is one con to the whole process tho' Vast majority of people i used to talk to dont talk to me anymore
Evan Hall
thanks for the suggestions man, i really hope it can help me,, ill factor in the gym and reading in between my classes next semester. I hate what i am right now, and it made me lose someone who ill probably never stop loving.
Brayden Nelson
Start doublec checking with your partner when you think you might be too much. That means keeping yourself accountable and being honest that you might be too emotional or coming on too strong. Don't wait for them to tell you. You give an inch, they expect a mile. That's what you are doing. I bet the women are all great to start with. But you tap them dry so fast. If you are doing all of the things you do to ensure that your partner cares about you, that's where you are going wrong.
Nolan Martinez
i really want to help you out with this shit, but i have to leave. Contact me: [email protected]
