I'm 23 and live with my parents still. No job or school cause anxiety is too bad and i've had to quit every job i've had because I couldnt handle the stress and it made my anxiety terrible. I decided to go on tinder and look for girls 6 months ago and actually ended up getting a girlfriend for 5 months. We recently broke up because I opened up to her about my problems with anxiety and she didn't like it at all. Is it a good idea for someone like me to get back on tinder and try again?
I'm 23 and live with my parents still...
Luis Bell
Owen Brown
I can get you a girl who’s made out of wax.
Daniel Nelson
What kind of jobs did you work in? You mean things like entry level jobs in restaurants and the like?
Ian Richardson
Girls won't want a total loser (sorry but that's you are if you don't fix you anxiety). Just have casual sex but don't string them along.
Jack Rivera
Mostly entry level jobs. I did get a job for a IT company but had to leave cause my anxiety got so bad.
Caleb Moore
how can you have a relationship for 5 months but get stressed out over a job? Its usually the reverse with autists
Liam Phillips
I have a weird form of autism
Thomas Rodriguez
This. There's no cure for mental illness, but OP needs to seek out psychiatric help if his anxiety is disabling him to where he can't work or function in higher education. Nothing turns someone off quicker than a perpetually empty wallet.
I'll say this OP, if your girlfriend is going to leave you over this then she wasn't worth keeping to begin with. I think there's more going on than just your anxiety, she may have used that as an excuse to break things off. Either way, you deserve to be treated better than that.
Learn how to manage your anxiety with the help from a professional. That's the first thing you need to do if you want a girlfriend.
Asher Allen
I do go see a professional every week. Also money was never a problem I have a source of income. Also i broke it off with her because the mean things she said to me about my anxiety
Jonathan Rivera
If that's the case, then either your therapist or prescriber isn't doing their job or you aren't applying yourself during therapy or not complying altogether. As far as money goes, it's not about where you're getting it from. You have to be autonomous, and this includes a job along with your other source of income.
It also sounds like you aren't making enough money to live on your own. That's a huge problem. Attending university is the only exception to living at home past the age of 21.
With that being said, there's way more to the story than what you're telling us about the relationship ending. Five months doesn't get thrown away over an argument.
Connor Davis
I have some anxiety too OP. I know it sucks, but you can't let it stop you from doing things that need to be done. Stick with your job and things will get easier. Yo ur parents won't live forever. You need to become self-reliant which will in turn increase your self-confidence.
Ethan Myers
I'm doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I can actually leave the house for a few hours without have a major panic attack. I just can't get over my fear of a job and having to be out of the house that long and also all the stress that comes with it. I'm constantly in fear of messing up and getting fired. Also with my realationship I broke it off when she told me that she would give me a little more time to figure my life out of she was just going to leave me. Also she said anxiety is easy to fix and that I could get over it if i really want to. I wish that was the case. I am studying on my own for an IT certification to help me build confidence when getting a job but thats going slow cause the material is kinda hard and I struggle to sit and study cause it gives me panic attacks just thinking about a job in the future. I'm not doing well user I just wish my life was normal and I could get past all this.
Brayden James
>I do go see a professional every week.
Have they given you any resources for how to manage your stress or any anxiety coping mechanisms?
So let's say for example uh oh, you're feeling your stress/anxiety start to overwhelm you at your job, do you have a plan for how to calm yourself and get back to a level of ease that will allow you to keep working?
Chase Long
I was told a good way to calm myself down is to focus on something for awhile and put all my energy into focusing on that object. It works sometimes to help me calm down when at my friends houses but not always. When that doesnt work I usually just leave.
Julian Powell
If you're doing better, then continue to do better. Have you tried psychiatric medication? I'm not talking benzos, but there are other treatment options that might improve your depression and anxiety. Not everyone is keen on that, but I support it since it works.
See another therapist. The first thing a therapist should tell you about anxiety attacks is how to control your breathing when you have one. If your anxiety is this bad, focusing on an object isn't going to help you in a high stress environment.
There's no such thing as normal, OP. You can't read minds. You'd be surprised to know of the amount of people that suffer from psychiatric disorders who are highly successful and influential people.
Zachary Wright
>I'm constantly in fear of messing up and getting fired.
Oh buddy, you have no idea how normal that is lol. Even in jobs with a lot of security it's normal to feel that way. The point is to snap yourself out of that logic and instead know that you will do your work in order to ensure that will not happen.
>she said anxiety is easy to fix and that I could get over it if i really want to
"Easy" is subjective, but it is feasible to overcome anxiety. Some people have to work harder at it than others, which isn't "easy" for them nor does it feel fair but if the end result is feeling better about yourself it's still worth it.
>I am studying on my own for an IT certification to help me build confidence when getting a job but thats going slow cause the material is kinda hard and I struggle to sit and study cause it gives me panic attacks just thinking about a job in the future.
I used to be like this. I would have a hard time sitting myself down for calculus and organic chemistry because in my mind I'd be like "oh man oh god I can't do this, I'm not smart enough I wasn't made smart enough for this why god". But that wasn't helping me learn the material, so ironically it came true that I did bad on tests where I freaked out about not "getting" the material. I'm not like that anymore though, and what changed was that I knew I had to push those thoughts away (along with other tempting distractions) and read the material until I knew if I got quizzed on it I could confidently answer each question right both from memory and comrehension.
Be good to yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to. Trust yourself. Love yourself.
Evan Stewart
>recommending drugs
>"There's no such thing as normal"
Awful, awful advice.
Carter Collins
treating a medical disorder =/= becoming normal
Luis Hill
So now normal has a definition? When you just said "no such thing"? You are full of it. Drugs do not solve the underlying psychological problems, they only treat the physiological causes. Also, for a lot of people getting off of SSRIs is fucking abysmal.
Elijah Edwards
You implied that there is such a thing as "normal". I also didn't say that psychiatric medication "cures" psychiatric issues.
>there are other treatment options
That certainly doesn't say cure. I also didn't say that psychiatric medications are free of side effects. Some are more pronounced than others, but the trade off can be more than worth it for some people. Medications are effective and this cannot be denied. Under the oversight of a caring and knowledgeable professional, OP can really benefit from it.
Samuel Edwards
Yup I almost killed myself coming off that shit. Never again