ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

Thanks but I have already done that.
However there is still a chance he will never stop keeping up with me since he hasn't for the past 5 years.

Guys, if you tell a girl to trust you, is it usually to hide the truth or are you being sincere?

YOU move on. Forget about him.

If you keep worrying whether or not he's going to keep seeking you out, then YOU can't move on.
I know you likely care about him but he's no longer a part of your life.

Take it easy and find someone more stable who's able to support you emotionally and make it clear to your ex that there's no going back to the way things used to be.
Don't rush into it of course, but it's a good idea to find someone like that.

Why does my ex text me every day? Pretty sure she doesn't give a shit about me.

I don't want to.
And I am also so tired of being blamed for everything, as if I a supposed to be responsible for him. I am trying to help him. I don't want him out of my life.

You're not supposed to be responsible for anyone, aside from maybe your kids, if you ever have any.

The only person you're truly responsible for, is yourself.

Just to be clear, there's no blame to go around because technically, you're not doing anything wrong. My advice is to block him from your life. You don't want that? That's completely fine, it's your decision and your life, and there's no reason to listen to a stranger on the internet. Only you have to power to decide where and with whom you want to go.
But as long as you stay in touch with him, and as long as you're not together, he might never be able to move on and as a result, you will never move on either.

attention
duh

It would be sincere coming from me.

>am soon moving 2000 km away to a new city I don't know well and don't really like
>am scared and full of doubts
>one of my closest friends never really asks me how all the practical matters of moving are going
>yet he contacts me to vent and tell me about his new job almost every day

Am I exaggerating or it's legit I feel hurt by his zero interest in my life?

You should prioritize your happiness. Do what's the best for you, anything else will take its toll of bitterness

I had a friend (of sorts) who obsessed over these things as well, and tried to use me to get some sort of insider knowledge on women. It wasn't until I convinced him to stop acting like his purpose was getting a woman, that he finally turned his life around. He got himself success in work, started to be way more natural to be around, and finally found someone.

You have to put in effort to get your dream girl, obviously, but you have the right idea. Keep going down this road, don't care about finding just anyone, but keep an eye open, and don't be afraid to catch a girl who falls for you. It'll happen sooner or later, as long as you keep working on yourself.

The saying "for others to love you, you must first love yourself" is definitely true. No one wants some self loathing pessimist who thinks the world hates him.

Girls

Recently rekindled with my ex-gf
Last night she told me that she doesn't want to think about hurting me, because if we were to continue this between us (i.e. go on dates, have sex, be intimate ) and i would ask her to get back together she would have to say no

Then again, she cried during sex last night, out of joy
She's super affectionate, kisses me out of nowehere, hugging, basically it's like being back together without ever talking about what "it" is

Is she some distance/close borderline type?
How should i even approach this?

Girls:
Why would you enthusiastically agree to plans made through a dating app, then block/unmatch me shortly afterwards? It makes me sad.

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Would you date a guy 14 years older than you? I'm 36 she's 22.

As a girl, only 4 explanations come to mind:
>1. She found out something about you that scared her off. How doesn't really matter, even small rumours can be enough. Girls talk, may be you encountered a friend of hers before.
>2. She found someone else, or maybe actually got serious with someone who was already a possible interest
>3. Something awful happened and she no longer wants anything to do with dating (at least for the moment)
>4. She's a bitch, and has no qualms about being an asshole.

Given the right circumstances, yes.

Not if this was something stupid like "through work" or "dating app". But if it is a legit "we met and fell in love", I'd be perfectly fine with it.

no. older guys really need to stop hitting on barely adults.

>barely adults.
This is one of those cases where context is everything.

Not everybody still lives with their parents and gets their NEET lifestyle funded by "allowances".

I added a girl I work with on Facebook and I have a crush on her. It took about 6 days to add me back. I'm just asking for perspective because when I see her she seems nervous (before adding me), but says hi to me. I don't know if it's me making her uncomfortable or she's just that shy.
I figured if she's initiating the hello she must not be entirely uncomfortable. The whole 6 days to add me back on Facebook is also throwing me off. I'm not sure, I'm just confused.
Also we don't speak very much at work, just exchanging greetings in passing. Im not sure if I should just send a message or talk to her in person.

I'm probably a bad example, being an orphan and all, but I am really not that different at the age of 27, than I was at 22. I am reminded of this quite often.

Not that I would date someone that much older (it's sorta creepy when you are close to "could be my parent" territory), but some people grow up a lot faster than the usual "live at home until I'm 25" kids we have these days.

Let's just say she's a co-worker

Then I would like to change my answer to a RESOUNDING "no."

Girls, why do you complain about 'fuckboys' when they are actually the only guys you will fuck? Every guy should aspire to be a 'fuckboy', but one needs to be attractive first.

Yes; in fact I didn't get my first girlfriend until after I reached that point. Genuinely wasn't looking for anything to happen, she was just a person I met - then BAM. Same thing happened in Ju-Jitsu - once I stopped overthinking everything and stopped caring about how often I lost and how much I sucked something clicked and I suddenly started to get gud.
Still get discouraged sometimes, in BJJ and relationships, but I don't get paralyzed by it anymore the way I used to.

I usually do it right as I'm about to use a carpet to navigate safely from a high place

You are lumping every girl in existence together, and that's not how it works.

The group of sluts who just want quick, dirty sex, will want a fuckboy.

The group of girls who want a good stable relationship, thinks fuckboys are disgusting, and would not touch them with a 10ft pole.

>Every guy should aspire to be a 'fuckboy',
That's like saying everyone should aspire to be a company man working 80 hours a week. It pays off in certain ways, and some will definitely like that kind of life, but you'll miss out on certain things by doing this. A fuckboy never has a lasting relationship, for example, because no girl trusts him enough for that, and the girls interested will not want to settle for 1 guy.

That's appealing to a lot of guys, but certainly not everyone. Some like the stability marriage brings, and some actually want kids without the impending trail over who gets custody.

>but one needs to be attractive first.
Not even, just be fit ottermode, and get a good haircut, and you're good to go for the most part. Even the infamous height isn't necessarily bad, as long as you have a hot body, which only requires you are very well trained.

Had a girl come over for a second date (her idea).
We talked a bit and put on a show on Netflix.
Some cuddling leads to some making out, I put her on top of me and she sits on my hard dick.
Some more making out and she returns to her position, just laying beside me.
She smiles and says "I wanna keep watching".
So we watched some more, made out sporadically here and there until she just left at some point.
Kissed her goodbye at the door and that was that.
Now, I am fine with not getting my dick wet necessarily, but the show being more interesting than engaging physically with me is not a great sign, is it?
Also, I was trying to steer this relation more into a friends with benefits type deal, but seems to be going more into the "cuddling with my bf on a cold winter evening" type situation.

Also, how soon should I write her, should I wait for her to get back to me? I am very flake-anxious.

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This.
I would much rather be respected by women and regarded a viable romantic and sexual partner, than be degraded to being a "fuckboy".
Listen to how disrespectful that sounds, it's a way women can put you below themselves.
You are being reduced to an object to be used for sexual gratification and nothing else.
If you want that, be my guest, but I would be too proud for that.

>second date
>bad sign she wouldn't have sex
I mean, if you are looking for FwB, yeah that's a bad sign. Sounds like she wants something more serious, and really likes you.

Girls

Feelings about high functioning alcoholics?

I'm a college sophomore and I need help talking with you girls.
I used to be very chatty in high school but for some reason I rarely talk to girls these days.
I don't want to bore you. I want to have long conversations and get to know you.

How do I approach a girl whom I've seen for the past year in class but have never talked to her other than the casual "hi"?
Is chatting on WhatsApp or such first better than real life?
Thanks.

I'm afraid this is not a woman thing, but a women you're interacting with thing. I find forced romances in films or shows annoying and unnecessary (though I'm not opposed to them if they're done well, but I really don't think everyone has to partner up in a film or show just for the sake of it). I have female friends who share my opinion too

>Attention whore
Fixed it for you.
Anyway, ignore that fucking parasite - if she's unwilling to fulfill your needs and desires, why the fuck should you fulfill hers?

Nah it's legit. I've been upset by stuff like that before. It makes a friendship feel very one sided, like they're not actually interested in you. Your friend could just be careless and not realising he's doing it, or could be selfish and doesn't really care. Either way you're moving soon, hopefully you can make some better friends there

Why did you break up? Is it even a good idea to be trying to get back together?
Could be that she wants all the good bits of you without being tied down so she can be with someone else if they come along (not incel bullshit, I'm female, just trying to make sense of it).

That plus men and women hit puberty, develop, mature and age at different rates - there wasn't much room for choice in the past, but even now in modern society where men and women are free to pursue and get with whoever they want older male/younger female couples are still statistically the most common, across all cultures, and that dynamic is what most individual men and women statistically seem to prefer.

That would be a bit too large an age gap for me, especially if I were 22. I think we'd be at too different stages in our lives emotionally, and career and experience wise.

Why not contact him to vent?

Sounds like some sort of manipulation tbqh.

>why did you break up
She broke up because, well, in her words i was not outgoing enough, we've known each other for over 8 years so she knows how i am / was
Plus i somehow made her enjoy sex again, but, it's only mindblowingly good with me so there's that
> Is it even a good idea to be trying to get back together?
In all honesty? I do not know, all i could say is maybe if she was genuine about it
Which her actions are, yet her words, well they're something different

>Could be that she wants all the good bits of you without being tied down so she can be with someone else if they come along
Which would paint her as a horrible human being, she's very afffectionate right now, texts me, asks questions, flirts
I even kissed her the other day when we were at the cnimea, she didn't mind she said

Hard pass. Get yourself some help.

>Is chatting on WhatsApp or such first better than real life?
This can risk coming off as weird I think.

Does it have to be this girl or is it girls in general? If the former, sit next to her/her friends in class and comment on something relevant about the class to get the ball rolling (either to her if she's alone or to the group of friends if she's with people). That way you can cross the never-talked-to barrier and can start building from there

>Feelings about alcoholics?
Never.

Your level of functioning doesn't matter.

This.

>Femanon who absolutely hates that movies seem hellbent on pairing up characters, just for the sake of doing it. Even worse when they often do very little to set it up properly.

In long running series, where it is teased constantly, I can get frustrated when nothing happens, but then it's because they are setting everything up for it to happen, but are too chicken to actually allow it. Probably worried their terrible writing and lack of experience would out them.

Being affectionate doesn't stop you from being an unpleasant person. Obviously I don't know her, but it sounds like she missed your affection, intimacy and sex and couldn't find it elsewhere so has gone back to you so that she can still enjoy it while keeping her options open. Did she say why she would have to say no if you were to ask to get back together? If she enjoys you that much there then why won't she just be with you?

Either she actually wants to be with you (and if not, why would she say no? Is she toying with you to make you want her more? That's equally cruel) or she doesn't and is just using you for sex and affection because she misses it and hasn't found anyone to fill that gap (and when someone "better" comes along, she isn't tied down to you)

Kinda both.
Thanks, will try that

It's also more safe to get an older guy.

I'd prefer someone close to my age, but the amount of guys who suddenly panic and wonder if they could have found something else, is a legitimate fear. If you get a settled guy at the age of 35, who already knows what he wants, and has sorted out all of his bullshit teenage dreams, you kinda know what you'll get. His past may have some unsavoury incidents, but it's better that is belongs in the past, and not something he still thinks about doing.

That's my take on it, anyway.

Girls, do you catwalk to the mirror every day?
I've never had a gf, so I don't know.

>26 year old dating a 39 year old with a 9 year old daughter
I was so worried the age gap would be horrendous, but for some reason, it doesn't feel like we are that far apart. All things considered, the only real dividing point, is the level of responsibility and overall experience and confidence, but nothing that's really noticeable in the daily life.

What, no.

I'm legitimately laughing just at the thought of doing that. That's the silliest thing I have ever heard.

>If she enjoys you that much there then why won't she just be with you?
She should be honest here, but it's important to note that the things you mention isn't everything there is to a relationship. You can have a lot of plans and goals in your life, where you know that some people are just not partners you can expect to keep. Simple example is the answer to "do you want kids". If you have conflicting opinions on this, you aren't a match. You could be perfect together, both socially, intimately, and sexually, and it still wouldn't work.

It sucks, but that's how it is. It's the difference between having a high school sweetheart, where it doesn't matter if you'll split up after graduating, and actually looking for the future Mr./Mrs. user.

>26 year old dating a 39 year old
Given that most have fully grown mentally around 25, that's not surprising.

>9 year old
I would never be able to accept that, especially if I was only 17 years older than the kid. I'd never be able to truly feel like the adult.

Good luck! It always feels pretty natural and happens a lot in our class (only the other day I found myself sitting next to someone I realised I'd never had a convo with before, despite being in a small class and having been there for a year already. Turned into a pretty comfy chat, although I do understand it's easier to do as a female)
For girls in general there's also the "join clubs!" meme too

>ut it sounds like she missed your affection, intimacy and sex and couldn't find it elsewhere so has gone back to you so that she can still enjoy it while keeping her options open.
That's what i'm thinking yeah
> Did she say why she would have to say no if you were to ask to get back together?
No, i didn't ask her as it was pretty late already
Guess is an answer like "it's not enough" or some bullshit excuse
I should ask her

>Is she toying with you to make you want her more?
I don't feel like being toyed with, more like i'm the one toying with her? If that makes sense

>using you for sex and affection
Well, she did tell me a lot how my kisses were the only ones turning her on and so forth, but that's just bedside talk

Trying to not open my "emotional door" too much but eh was pretty close yesterday after she told me that about saying no and stuff
What freaked me out a bit was she suddenly told me she would like a baby, because everyone around her is having one but at the same is unsure if she still wants to be all young and free.
Coming from a girl who broke up, had buyers remorse after a month by sleeping with some other guy

Kek, no. If I'm going somewhere nice or if I'm not sure if what I'm wearing looks good, I'll look in a full length mirror to check, but certainly not cat walk lmao

>What freaked me out a bit was she suddenly told me she would like a baby, because everyone around her is having one but at the same is unsure if she still wants to be all young and free.
>Coming from a girl who broke up, had buyers remorse after a month by sleeping with some other guy
I have a co-worker kinda like that. (Mostly, anyway, she doesnt fuck around) She has this guy she really likes, but is afraid of being around, because she admits she would probably not trust herself to actually commit.

She is very uncertain about her life in general, and I think committing makes her scared, because it limits her options during a period where she doesn't know what she even wants. She's 22.

How old is this girl you talk about?

>I'd never be able to truly feel like the adult
I work as a caretaker at a day care with kids that age (actually knew the daughter before the dad, don't judge me), so that's not an issue for me. Also, 17 years older isn't that bad, it's not exactly sibling tier.

Male 23 y/o virgin here, how pathetic is it and would girls find it weird

Not at all.

Next question then, how the fuck do I meet girls when I work in a male dominated industry and don't really do much outside of work.

I could try tinder but isn't that more hookup orientated? Are there better apps for finding actual relationships?

>and I think committing makes her scared, because it limits her options during a period where she doesn't know what she even wants
WHich hits the nail on the head with my ex

Her previous relationship wasn't her best, the guy she was with for 2 years, moved in after only 6 months, wanted sex very often which led to her not having fun at it
With me i re ignited "fun" into sex

She's 25

Legit will depend on the girl. I think it's fine. I lost mine older than that (yes, I know it's different for girls). Any girl hung up on it who's going to hold it against you probably isn't worth your time anyway.

How do I get gf as an independent man who doesn't identify with any groups or cliques?
People have a hard time relating with me.
>not religious
>not affliated with any political party
>not in any frat or club
>not involved in any fandoms or online communities
>have really unique tastes in all my hobbies

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What ARE your hobbies?

Work isn't a good place anyway.

Hobbies, mostly. However stupid it sounds, go for a hobby primarily for the opposite gender of yourself, that you would actually enjoy. It may seem like attentionwhoring to some, but it's the best way to meet a lot of potential partners, and helps you be more natural and relaxed around them as well. It's fine if you aren't comfortable at first, it'll come.

Note that I wasn't talking about sex. I was talking about options in general, like work, where she wants to live, what she wants to see and try out in the world, etc.

But yeah, sounds like she is afraid of talking into a trap. It's not that unusual for people around that age, if you aren't sure of what you want, and what you've tried fell apart after it seemed so promising at first, can really demoralize some people.

Video games, mostly Dark Souls and Monster Hunter recently. I don't really play online shooters or most open world stuff.
Reading, but I only read Japanese books and only in Japanese. Sometimes I read philosophy books, I've been into Ralph Waldo Emerson lately.
Japanese hero shows like Kamen Rider and Super Sentai
Some Netflix like the X-Files, early MotW Supernatural, Monty Python, and only the second season of The Office.

>can really demoralize some people.
Yeah guess so... she likes that things are easy, comfortable and just relaxing between us
Just fear that if she really is stringing me along, somehow on some level, it'd be more than rude
Not too sure if i should even ask "what are we"

bump

grile r gross lole

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>Not too sure if i should even ask "what are we"
You should. You are afraid of being strung along, and that's more than enough reason for you to clear it up. If it breaks, it would have happened anyway, just a matter of when.

A lot of girls hold this belief that most guys prefer not committing, and hols that as a mental shield, assuming the best until proven wrong, and they for sure will not seek out the answer themselves, because they are afraid of getting the wrong answer. The only way you'll break out of this uncertainty is to take action yourself.

Guess so yeah... we broke up once, it doesn't even feel remotely like we're exes
But being in this cloudy situation is no good for anyone

Is it better to text a girl or wait for her to text you?
I don't wanna look needy...

You want to get a point across? Text her.
Want to later kick yourself for your loss? Don't do it.
Communicating with people isn't that deep most of the times

>Want to later kick yourself for your loss? Don't do it.
Not sure I get what you mean?

My partner plays a lot of DS and monhun. We met through a location and interest based discord group.
You could consider the same, or going to a meetup.com group for one of your interests (Japanese language, gaming), or perhaps try a new hobby through it like hiking. Could also consider googling for dating sites aimed at people with nerdh interests.
Worth noting that you don't need to have the exact same area of interests as someone to partner them. Overlap is nice (both exactly the same or even tangentially related - maybe they like similar genres of shows or games and you can introduce each other to your specific areas of interest)

Maybe, but when you're 40 and still virile, decent-looking, and capable of getting girls from their late 20's onward if you get/stay in shape, she'll be 53 and well past menopause.

Guys don't reach peak fertility/athletic ability until around 27, girls peak in their early 20's. There are exceptions, my brother started going bald at 17 while our grandfather died with good hair in his 80's, I know a 30-year-old chick who was a super late bloomer and easily passes for early 20's now, but why take the risk? Why waste your golden yours on someone well into her twilight?

*golden years

Would it be comforting to tell a girl i really like and she likes me too, but is somewhat scared of going the relationship route to tell her that i don't want things to change, stay the way they are now and that is what i would call the beginning of a relationship?

so i'm a dude with mild autism (actual diagnosis, not LARPing) and while i'm not the hand-flappy kind I am almost completely incapable of picking up on signals or taking hints. is there any way to fix this? because i have made girls uncomfortable many times and i'd like to be better equipped to avoid that.

According to the cdc the more partners you have prior to marriage the lower your chances of the marriage lasting; even having one sexual partner before marriage brings your odds of the marriage lasting 5 years from 80.50% down to 53.6%. On some level girls realize this in a way guys generally don't, which is part of why sluts are such psychological wrecks, but even girls I know who have been around the block a few times value a lower body count in a partner - it means less baggage later on.

youtu.be/um3EmS9DKsI?t=895

Or at least girls looking to settle down are generally that way - sluts will absolutely judge you for being a virgin, because they aren't looking to develop a meaningful sexual relationship with an individual over time.

Just broke up with GF of 4 years (I'm 26) that I had everything in common with. I know there's no chance of getting back together with her, but I learned a lot of hard lessons with her. How do I get back on my feet and meet a nice girl? I just wanna be real nice to a sweet girl and go mudding with her in my truck and spoil her a bit.

Is it good when a girl adds your name at the end of a sentence?

It weirds me out when anyone does that.

I'm sorry to hear that, user.

Yeah social autism is probably why I'm alone. I'm good looking and fit, have lots of hobbies and work hard, but I don't go out often and when I do it's to a dive bar where only older idiots hang out.

OK honestly, I am actually sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for you soon.

Just want a nice girl to nuzzle me, help me user. Fuck.

I want the same thing bro, if I knew how to help I would.

Girls, when you are having an orgasm should I keep fucking?