So I have an amazing gf (my first gf) that I dont really have any complaints about. We love each other and all that stuff and have a generally great relationship, but sometimes I think about her past and it eats away at me like crazy. She had a bf before me and they consistently had sex for almost 2 years, which is a ton of dick when you add it up. She also had sex with a different guy pretty recently before meeting me, but that was only one time so that doesnt even bother me. I've only ever had sex with her. I also feel really guilty whenever I have second thoughts about her because of her history, because its not like she can change it. For the record, she also doesnt talk to her ex at all either. How do I cope bros? Does it even matter that she had a lot of sex before me? I love her and I wanna get these thoughts out of my head
GF's sexual history
27y/o here
You won't get over it. It'll never stop hurting and you are perfectly reasonable to feel this way and shouldn't feel guilt. There is a very strong evolutionary reason for feeling this.
This is what I fear, but I a should also mention that I have really bad anxiety and depression caused by overthinking. So I can't tell if the issue is my overthinking or her past, its very hard separate the two. But I think if I can get a handle on my mental state but doubts will subside as well
I would't let it get to you since like you said she can't change her past. You should put you time and energy into worrying about stuff that you can change.
If you're worried about her ever leaving you because she's had more parteners than you then try and become a better lover and more carrying boyfriend. If you do that she'll see you're different than the rest of the men she's been with.
Also talk to a close friend who you trust if you think it'll help, opening up emotions helps alot
Source? I’m interested in doing some reading.
You're such a giant, dumb baby. You being a giant, dumb baby will consistently ruin things for you. Remember that.
She is not with them, she is with you. It's her choice and she could leave you whenever she wants, but she is still with you. But she most definitely will leave you if you obsess over something she can't change.
yikes.jpg
OP this is a common concern but it really doesn't matter. Can you explain exactly why it bothers you? Inherently her having sex with other people before she met you has nothing to do with your sex life with her now because it's not the past, it's the present.
>Does it even matter that she had a lot of sex before me?
Not really. It's one of the realities of modern life. Appreciate being with her and don't let her history bother you.
Thanks guys. I just need to work on my mental state I think, controlling my thoughts and such. And to answer one of the anons above me, it bothers me because I have only had sex with her, so I cannot compare her to others whereas she can. But she's also told me that Im her favorite so Im really overreacting over nothing
Could just as easily have been you. She was a person before you. Sex and love aren't mutually inclusive or exclusive. If you end your relationship and meet another girl you'll just be a hypocrite no?
Your home is this way
Jesus christ I didn't think there were any women on the i terenet but here is a thread telling you a woman's sexual history doesn't matter and to get over it. You are rigjt to worry, though one reassuring thing is that she was with one guy long term. Multiple partners over short periods of time is much worse. My gf only had sex maybe once or twice with one short term bf but it bothers me contantly. Don't expect that worry to ever dissappear, but it is manageable.
desuarchive.org
Demonz.png helped me a bit here.
It's not like she was trying to hurt you back then. She didn't know you.
DO THE DIRTY!! OP enact what you feel in a pleasurable way for both of you. Or don’t.
Depends on her body count. Has she only been with 2 dudes not including you?
That's not that bad. My gf right now has a body count of x4 what I got. I didn't care till she brought it up. Normally idgaf but she dated some real scumbags druggies you name it. Its all good for now but there's no way I'm marrying this girl. Well probably end up breaking up soon over it and a bunch of other reasons but it's been a good past two years.
If bothers you then break up with her. I'd tell you to keep having fun but just don't do anything stupid. Then just get your body count up to level everything when you date another girl with a past you don't like.
If it bothers you, you’re an insecure bitch boy.
A real man wouldn’t give a fuck, he just makes sure you’re the best she ever has/will have.
What this user said, you're a dumbass if you let your insecurities ruin a potentially great relationship, don't fuck this up for yourself user it's not like she cheated on you she just happened to have more sex than you, and that's ok.
Kek. The old, "woman tells you how to be a real man" routine. Do people still take that tactic seriously?
>How do I cope bros?
Grow up
If all you can think of is other men's dicks, you are gay.
this is a natural feeling for a man to have with an evolutionary advantage.
So a women can be pregnant without you knowing it, therefore you seek a women with as litte sexual encounters as possible to ensure the children she might give birth to will be your own.
makes perfect sense, it is talked about in "evolution of desire".
>Does it even matter that she had a lot of sex before me?
Yes, it does for a number of reasons.
First it makes her more likely to cheat and to divorce you, if you get married. Second, no man likes being with an used up woman.
What else are they going to say?
Or find a pure woman.
Guys like you are pure cancer.
If all you can do is strawman, you are retarded.
>pure
You incels are cancel. Get off Jow Forums, you never were welcome here.
She is a whore and you are just a beta provider enjoy I guess.
>Pure woman
Virgin girls are boring, I'm sick of having to teach them before we can start talking about having fun
OP what's the matter here? Excluding the random guy, she basically only had sex with you and with her ex in her previous long term relationship, it's not like she whored herself out. You probably aren't bugged about her history, but about your lack of in comparison. Either way, you can't change it, and so can't she
>my first gf
Stopped reading right there, you are jealous that in order to not be labelled as a shitty person you can't go fuck other women without breaking up with her first. Here are your options:
>dump her, fully acknowledging you will very likely not get her back, and go fuck other women and eventually get another gf
>cheat on her, thus making you a bigger scumbag than she ever was and ruin your good relationship
>stay faithful in the relationship and get over yourself
Pick 1.
>Does it even matter that she had a lot of sex before me?
It was all from the same non-STD dick so no. You are a dumbass.
You've never been with a virgin user other than yourself, user. Otherwise you'd know how much of a pain in the ass they are
im in (almost) the same Situation like you op
only with the difference that she only had one guy before me
and.. she still talks to him, probably a few times a day
she is "anoyed" that he texts her but she doesnt block him because "she is just such a nice person to do that"
Your ego is making you insecure. She didn't do anything wrong so you shouldn't have a problem with it.
Sure, that's why prostitutes are prime relationship material.
>She didn't do anything wrong so you shouldn't have a problem with it.
You mean, she didn't ruin her ability to pair-bond and made herself a used up whore, thus putting a strain in her future relationships and harming her future children??
You're retarded. You don't know ANYTHING about raising children. Your purist Jow Forums fantasies about a traditional family do not actually make you a reliable source on these matters.
>I also feel really guilty whenever I have second thoughts about her because of her history, because its not like she can change it.
>its not like she can change it.
And nor should she be expected to, if it were possible. For the record.
>You're retarded. You don't know ANYTHING about raising children. Your purist Jow Forums fantasies about a traditional family do not actually make you a reliable source on these matters.
>Seething
This just proves i'm right.
I know that making yourself a used up whore with no ability to pair-bond is not gonna be good for your kids.
>my gf dated a guy before me?? and had lots of monogamous sex with him??? wow, what a dried up WHORE!!!!! I bet she's cheating on me RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! WITH FIVE GUYS (with burgers and fries)!!1! she's holding me back!!!
This is some next level sociopathy. You can quit LARPing as a biblethumper and admit you think OP should go out and fuck other women as "revenge" against this non-cheating.
You're feeling jealous of her 2 previous lovers because she is your first. You're jealous because she got laid in the past while you were a virgin sitting at home playing vidya and feeling lonely. Not to be mean but it's as simple as that. If you had slept with, say, 5 women before her you wouldn't give two shits about her having had an ex boyfriend and a one night stand. I can tell you this because that's what i experienced. When i started dating my first girlfriend at 18 y/o, i was a KHV. She was also a virgin, but she had 2 guys she made out with before me. She didn't even have sex with these 2 guys but nonetheless i felt jealous because of it. Right now i'm dating/hooking up with this girl who has a lay count of 2 and i don't care at all. I don't even think about it. Why? It's because i also have a lay count of 2 right now. We are on exactly the same level so there is nothing to feel insecure about. Bottom line, you feel inferior to her sexual past and the dudes she banged. That's why you're feeling like shit.
A girl who has had 2 sexual partners is nothing out of the realm of what i would consider acceptable LTR material.
So if you’re the one fucking her multiple times it doesn’t matter, but when the same guy fucks her multiple times it suddenly matters?
>I bet she's cheating on me RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! WITH FIVE GUYS (with burgers and fries)!!1! she's holding me back!!!
Not what i said at all.
The problem with previous sex for a woman is that it damages her ability to pair-bond. This is just a fact. Also, during sex, the woman is in a very submissive and vulnerable position. That should be reserved only to her husband. When you date a woman who had sex before, she is used up, since she put herself in a submission to another man so he could pleasure himself sexually, as pointed out in this picture If a woman had sex prior to her husband then she either made poor choices in men, which means she values looks or material characteristics instead of virtues and values, or she was a straight-up whore who treats her vagina as a toy.
Neither of those are things a good man wants in a woman.
>>my gf dated a guy before me?? and had lots of monogamous sex with him??? wow, what a dried up WHORE!!!!! I bet she's cheating on me RIGHT FUCKING NOW!! WITH FIVE GUYS (with burgers and fries)!!1! she's holding me back!!!
kek
In my perspective I look at girls sexual history as something I was never there for and for some reason she learned from those experiences to become the person she is now. If you think she is so amazing now then her past is what made her what she is today.
People have flawed pasts, but that doesnt mean they are perfect now. Stop worrying about it and be happy with whatcypu have.
>pair-bond
there's that autistic buzzword again
Not virgin = prostitute
>You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.
There is that low IQ ad-hominem again.
good thing filters exist when you keep using the same retarded language every time :^)
Not what i said. I take you are not a smart person.
You said virgins are bad since they lack experience.
If that's your paradigm, then prostitutes should be prime relationship material to you.
You keep using the word retarded as reassurance to your own beliefs.
What is it about your life that you are trying to avoid?
Not that user but you know not every person follows a statistic. Stop looking at her like she is made of numbers and stop trying to predict how she feels. Women's feelings are something they have and they control. Stop worryingvabout her not being ideal. She is a flawed person like you. Remember that.
Kek. You really are retarded.
>I don't like virgins because they suck in the sack
>prostitutes are the opposite of virgins
>therefore prostitutes are prime relationship material
If you can't see the leap of logic there I can't help you. Have fun shooting your load into your winter socks for the rest of your life.
>Stop worryingvabout her not being ideal. She is a flawed person like you. Remember that.
That's only reasonable when the person is willing to admit their mistakes.
>y-you keep using it
>only time I've posted it
lol ok
>meanwhile, "pair-bond" is in at least 4 threads right now
Just adopt a tripcode already, you are nearly avatarfagging with that word alone.
OP here. I've decided to just go gay. Honestly I'm so relieved.
You were always a faggot OP.
Ok, so you like something in between virgins and prostitutes.
Lets entertain this.
Either you want a woman who had hundreds of hours of sex with different men, so she can reinvent the wheel and made sex more fun for you, or you want a woman who had lots of sex with a very experient man (more than you are) so she could again be more entertaining to you.
EIther way you want a whore or someone who will inevitably hold someone else as the golden standard.
That by definition makes you a cuck.
Because the alternative you be you have a woman who can catch up with you very quickly without the drawbacks of having been used by other man.
Either you are a cuck or you are just some impressionable retard.
excellent choice, fuck waman!
(but not literally, because that's for faggots)
Sorry, i'm replying to other people and lost track of it.
But seriously, if this is all you can come up with, then you are not an intelligent person. You just let your anger reveal your lack of insight.
I have an IQ that puts me in the 1% category and i tend to avoid using ad-hominem because i can always make a better case without it.
Anyway. You are heavily invested in your perspective. In this case, time will be your best teacher.
>can't follow simple premise premise conclusion
>calls other people retarded
Dude you're a riot. Come back when you're 18 or resolved your mommy issues (probably both).
Luckily you brag about your intellect in every post. Maybe thinking about how smart you are gives you a boner. Hope it does because you'll need it moving on.
Then you are welcome to point the flaw in my logic
>I have an IQ that puts me in the 1% category
Indeed you do, the bottom 1% category.
You have yet to post a single link supporting your "facts".
I'll let you have this one mate. You need it more than I do.
I thought the heritage foundation study was well known.
cdn.freedomainradio.com
Also if you read some neuroscience books, you'll know how the pair-bonding mechanism works and how the more partners you have, less effective it'll be.
NAYRT but here's the problem with your logic: the virgin unicorn you're looking for gets more and more scarce the older you get. You can try dating younger women but the older you get the less appealing you are to them compared to a younger guy with looks and money. The whole shit about "imprinting" or w/e is just stupid. Lots of people remarry. Lots of people have better, successful relationships after having gone through bad ones. Lots of people go through all of that and don't buy into your religitard hoo hah of saving yourself for marriage/"the one"/etc.
If you want to eliminate nonvirigins from your elo be my guest, but that means I'm gonna pound every girl that says yes to me even harder just so she's tainted in your eyes. Plenty of available men for women to find, not the same the other way around. Good luck pushing your outdated crap on women, I'm sure they'll love being told that they're no good if the first guy they trust bounces on them and that they may as well just kill themselves unless he comes back. (he won't)
That old meme study has been posted thousands of times by underageds and incels on Jow Forums.
As for paid bonding, you are lying. You have never read any neuroscience books. No neuroscience book will say something as dumb as what you just wrote. Prove me wrong. Link to a neuroscience book, and to a passage there that says the exact thing about pair bonding you just did.
No, I want (and have) a woman with around as much experience as me, so we don't need to go through the basics again and just go straight to trying new thing (after discovering the other body and tastes obviously)
>pdf from 2003
>data from 1995
If you don't think people have changed significantly from 1995 to 2019 I don't know what to tell you.
>The problem with previous sex for a woman is that it damages her ability to pair-bond.
That's weird, since for literally every other aspect of being alive, repeated use of a function improves the power and efficiency of that function.
>As for paid bonding, you are lying. You have never read any neuroscience books. No neuroscience book will say something as dumb as what you just wrote. Prove me wrong. Link to a neuroscience book, and to a passage there that says the exact thing about pair bonding you just did.
Savage as fuck. I'll have what he's having. Now we wait for the source. It surely won't take long.
Amygdala status: hijacked.
>That old meme study has been posted thousands of times by underageds and incels on Jow Forums.
Are you trying to make a point? You definitelly should learn how that works.
>As for paid bonding, you are lying. You have never read any neuroscience books. No neuroscience book will say something as dumb as what you just wrote. Prove me wrong. Link to a neuroscience book, and to a passage there that says the exact thing about pair bonding you just did.
I don't do e-books very often. There is a book called The Brain That Changes Itself, by Norman Doidge MD, that explains in somewhat layman terms how the brain process stimulus and perform it's functions. Basically, the brain will either use existing connections or develop new ones to process stimulus. The areas of interconnected neurons are called brain maps. When you fall in love or enter a relationship, there will be a dedicated brain map that will process your feeling about and stimulus from that person. I'm not gonna go to deep into it but when the relationship ends, the brain map does not cease to exist. When you start a new relationship, the neurons in your brain that were "allocated" for the other relationship will pose resistance to the new one. Eventually it will shrink and be some of these neurons will be used for other things, but it won't really disappear. The more relationships you have, more areas like this will exist posing resistance to you next relationship. Also these areas will appropriate neural pathways linking to your please system and pre-frontal cortex, which not only makes you less likely to experience joy from you current relationship, but also makes you more likely to cheat.
(...)
The fiftieth time you use heroine is just as good if not better than the first, this is common knowledge.
>please system
pleasure*
>No, I want (and have) a woman with around as much experience as me, so we don't need to go through the basics again and just go straight to trying new thing (after discovering the other body and tastes obviously)
Again. You could easily have that without the drawbacks of having a used up woman.
>If you don't think people have changed significantly from 1995 to 2019 I don't know what to tell you.
But the divorce rate and female promiscuity increased, marriage rates decreased and single motherhood became rampant, since then.
>That's weird, since for literally every other aspect of being alive, repeated use of a function improves the power and efficiency of that function.
False analogy.
It's more like how you experience less pleasure from extensive drug use.
>implying this disproves my point
Your brain and body become better at processing the substance, dingus.
Praise to be Allah that we can read about whoredom in English these days.
>Again. You could easily have that without the drawbacks of having a used up woman.
Care to explain how I, as a non-virgin with experience, can find a "non-used" woman with the same amount of sexual experience as me, without having to teach her the basics?
Yeah so it has less of an impact and each iteration means and does less when compared with the first, simp.
Link a section of that book which states that "pair bonding" ability decreases with each sexual partner.
Divorce rates decreased. The number of sexual partners has decreased by both men and women. Why do you continue lying?
>comparing internal brain functions to those brought on by foreign substances
Yeah man, like runners highs, it's so easy the first time you go out jogging but then you see all these marathon runners just shooting themselves with starter pistols because they can never attain it again.
Or like how people who grew up in stable homes have all their stability juices used up and just wind up in abusive relationships as adults, whereas the brains of people from broken homes are pure and intact and just waiting to receive unconditional love.
Virginity is becoming valuable again. There was a period of sluthood from 1960 to 2020 that is simply coming to an end. Sorry roasties but men want a debt-free virgin with no tattoos. Google it.
That's your body getting better at processing a foreign substance. The chemicals triggered during sex come from the brain itself, and the brain gets better at producing them.
having sex with a non-virgin is miles better than with a virgin tbqh
>implying you and you're retarded views are at all relevant
lol dude you're not even tolerated on Jow Forums anymore, of all places
>literally a Christcuck's blog post
Sky-daddy worshippers actually believe they're becoming relevant when atheism is on the rise
There is nothing wrong with
Source: your ass. You basement-dwelling incels are pathetic.
Have you ever hunted before?
Do you remember your first kill? I was shaking for about ten minutes. Now it's a five second rush.
Enjoy dealing with your wife's exes
How about you post an actual source instead of clickbait to your incel rant videos. Still waiting for your link to a neuroscience book that verifies what you said about pair bonding btw.
What you mean by teaching?
Just telling her what to do and having sex with her?
How long do you think it takes for her to learn what pleases you?
Unless you have a scat fetish or something fucked up like that, she would be up to speed in less than a month.
Also if you can't take pleasure in taking a woman's virginity then i don't think anything i say will resonate with you.
It increased exponentially from the 1950's till 2010s then it decresed around 2%. It's been a while since i looked at this data.
>The number of sexual partners has decreased by both men and women.
It decreased to men but not to women. If you compare to the 1950s when the number of partners prior to marriage was virtually 0, there has been a significant increase to the average that is now around 4 or 5. But the are woman who goes well into the double digits.
Also you forgot to address the decline in marriage rates and the increase in single-motherhood.
Gee, it's almost like having constant panic attacks isn't evolutionarily beneficial. And your body gets better at handling it. With practice.
thanks for confirming you have nothing of value to say.
I am not the pair bonding guy but I personally find it obvious as a male that I don't want to kiss a woman whose mouth is a cock highway. I really question your masculinity if you don't mind a woman whose "past" (which will almost always come to visit you somehow) is being a whore. I don't need a book to tell me this because I know exactly what kind of dirty woman takes 30 dicks into all her holes and then makes excuses about it.
I'll let you have the left side of the bell curve agree with you. Everytime i see someone say something like this, i realize that there is just no point in putting effort into the discussion.