How can you compete with guys who are far better than you in the dating world...

How can you compete with guys who are far better than you in the dating world? The dating game is so saturated where women can have their pick of the litter while average dudes get the cold shoulder. I feel like I'm going crazy comparing myself to everyone
>Inb4 just focus on yourself
Hard to do that when you are constantly reminded that you are inferior every single day. I improve upon myself. I workout. I study hard. I practice social skills. In the end though, there are billions of other dudes that are just like that, but better looking.

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Stop believing in incel memes. In their world there are 10 men for every 1 woman.

There's no point fighting the incels bullshit
They've ruined Jow Forums
Just wait for them to storm this thread and dump their reddit facts

I don't believe in all incel memes. I don't hate women. I don't hate society either. I just speak from my own experiences.

What are your experiences? Real life experiences you personally have, not memes you have read from incels of Jow Forums.

I stay away from incel havens like r9k and incels.me as they are toxic shitholes. I'm an average looking dude (I post on /soc/ alot and get lots of 5s) and I'm shy. My real life experiences include getting 0 matches on dating apps and having women show no interest in me. I understand though, why would they when better options exist?

Have a job, hair, and height.

Why have you accepted being inferior instead of doing something about it?

I do though. I'm pretty Jow Forums, I'm a near straight A student, and when I'm not a depressed little shit I have a pretty good personality (I have a good amount of friends). But my looks are mediocre, so why should they settle? I guess I should specify that I want women I am attracted to only. I could get a 4/10 girl easily, but that would be settling, which isn't fair for either party. That's how I feel towards the girls I want, it would be settling.

You need to get over your insecurity.

The only way that will happen is if a cute girl magically comes into my life, which simply won't happen. Therapy only tells me what I already know. I'm a 21 KHV, I'm already romantically underdeveloped, which puts me further behind. I don't see a way out of this without radically changing who I am, and I simply do not have the will power to do that

i met my gf at work (fast food restaurant) and gradually built a relationship, probably the hardest way to go about getting a gf, but it's the only way i could do it. im absolutely not a guy that will strike it off with a girl in a dating app or bar situation. this type of job turned out pretty good because im hardworking and am not a messy worker so it made everyone like me there. makes any potential partner get a feel for what kind of person you are. that might be a non-standard approach you might wanna try. putting yourself out there online as just another dude in a long list of dudes just isn't the best strategy for the average guy

Go to a prostitute to get over your fear of intimacy with girls.

Solid advice thank you. I need to be more grounded in reality, however challenging that may be.

Prostitution is illegal where I am, and I don't want to fund seedy operations. I'm also pretty poor so I can't really fly out to Vegas to bang one. I've also heard many people regret doing this.

See a therapist. Your perception of the world around you has been extremely warped by your poor self-esteem. You wouldn't be here if you didn't understand on some level that the way you've been approaching things hasn't been working. Your head is fucked. Go get some help for it. If your answer is "therapy won't do anything and there's nothing I can do" then go fuck yourself up a tree. I don't know why you're here asking for advice if your answer to everything is "no that's wrong there's nothing I can do".

I'm just looking for different perspectives as I know my view is warped, so I need people like you to challenge my perspective.

All you do is make excuses, don't you see? You could easily do it with a bit of planning.

>Prostitute
>Intimacy

I don't think so, Tim.

Do I really want to throw it away like that though? I take a more conservative viewpoint towards sex where I think it should only be between those who truly love each other. I know, not a very popular view in today's climate, but that's how I feel about it.

Forget about the prostitute for now. Your first step is to get rid of your automatic reaction of denial to every single thing.

>user: why don't you ...
>You: nooo I can't... must think of excuse...
>user: ... do this thing...
>You: I can't because! Because... I will think of an excuse soon! But I know I can't and it's impossible!

and since you mentioned your age, i should note i was 30yo khv before I met my gf there. so yea, still hope even this late, but i must admit it's also a game of chance. definitely consider myself lucky. but as long as you're putting yourself in a situation where you might meet someone, you're still in the game. and that's key, putting yourself out there. then after that, it's about reading cues and seeing who's reacting to you or not when you look into their eyes or smile at them. such things like that, dont worry you'll figure it out

And how do I do that?

Girls don't see it that way. They don't look at the lineup and select the highest profile mate. There are girls who do this in the sense that there are men who do this. In both cases it's the result of specific self esteem problems, because it's not actually natural to be so status concerned.

Women want who they feel like being around. They like guys who make them feel good or at least stimulated. This often comes about just from the experience of friendship, so long as you are someone who is able to let go of their pretensions and embrace the experience of being human. Girls don't actually chase the Chad. At least I've never seen it this way. I've cucked chad and I'm an 4/10 5'6" nerd. I'm shlubby, awkward, and mentally ill. But my priorities are in a better place than most people. I mean well and I want everyone to have a good time. That and I make an effort to get out, so I meet people. That's the biggest factor. If you're not meeting people you can't complain... You generally find girls through mutual friends, and it's best when you grow on each other gradually. It shouldn't be a pickup game. When you're a genuine person, the "friend zone" is more of a bridge than a barrier. I've always been friends with a girl before being more. I can't even fathom going all 0-60

As a 32yo in that situation what did you do to put yourself out there?

Excellent response. None of my friends have girls in our circles which is a huge issue, so I've been relying on shallow methods such as online dating.

Ask yourself "do I really need to do this?" the next time you reject something out of fear.

I looked this up the other day, the ratio of men to women in the world is like 107 men to 100 women, and China's shitty cultural "muh son to carry muh last name" shit contributes to that disparity.

IIRC we actually used to have more women in the world than men because of african baby girls but China's dumb shit has just fucked that up entirely.

What an awful problem to have, Chinese women can be really qt but their men have small dicks so women of other races don't even look at them. Even yellow fever fujos go for Japanese and Korean men over Chinese.

This, and being fit helps especially if height's something you don't have. Also having a nice dick, dressing attractively, having an interesting passion or hobby, and being cleanly.

107 to 100 is at birth. The actual ratio is close to 1 in western countries. China and India are anomalies.

Put yourself in situation where you will see potential mates more than once so you can build some relationship before you even make an approach. As the other user mentioned, through mutual friends, that you might see often. Or in my particular case, in a fast food restaurant where I will generally see the same people every time I'm there. And people working such places aren't exactly the top-tier catch, so any potential matches were within my league. Even though I'm not a 10/10 catch, at least I get the advantage of having shown off my good work-ethic, actions that speak louder than any profile description you could write up on a dating app.

This


The majority of dudes have horrible game and/or are putting in zero effort. She's encountering non stop low energy dick pics on one side or white knights on the other.

If you can build an actual emotional connection, make her laugh, "flip the script" in a funny way where you're the prize, be cool and non-needy, you can have the girl.

That's the amazing thing about this journey. When you accept that it requires adaptation and growth you start to get the girls. The process of competing for girls and facing repeated painful rejection is a gauntlet that transforms boys into men. It's necessary for this process to exist.

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Listen faggot, I'm probably a 4/10. I'm a fat manlet. I spent most of this year struggling to find a gf. During this past semester I became friends with a girl and she ended up asking me out last month. It's not just looks. You've gotta put yourself out there. It helps if you seem them regularly, build a relationship. Personally, I'm shit at things like dating apps and bar pick ups and such. You've got some deep self esteem issues, but just don't give up. I believe in you OP.

Thanks, that was more or less what I expected. The problem I have is my social group revolves around my job and doesn't give any opportunities to meet many new people, let alone girls. Going to start with going to a few meetups.

It's more to do with the west's cultural relationship with China. A lot of this follows political history, I swear to God. We wouldn't feel such a connection with Japan if the aftermath of world war II had been less constructive.
I don't even know where Chinese people are, I only ever meet Japanese and Koreans. They mostly date each other

It spreads fractally from any given social person. Hang out with one person and they eventually lead you to more who each lead to more and so forth

Agree, and bouncing off this - the best dynamic you can have is when you feel like you're writing the script with her, where it feels like there are no rules, standards, or prescribed for wherever it is you are. At the heart of a romantic relationship is a sense of creation. You can't stop to worry about how to act the part, that's not what it's about. When it feels like you may as well be the first people to invent the relationship, and whatever that comes out to me is purely up to your mutual whims - that's when you've made it. Imo

But I barely know what I'm talking about. I'm just talking about what felt real for me

Love it bro. And yea, so many guys have no clue how to relate to women. They see their relationship as some kind of conflict. A zero-sum win/lose scenario where they need to conquer the girl and get what they want.

The girl isn't your enemy. She's on your side. She wants you to be a hero on your personal journey. If you're not up to it, she has to reject you, because that's what's necessary for your personal growth. She is a manifestation of nature itself trying to compel humanity to greater heights. it's one way of looking at it anyway.

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Well, just remember what Thanos said.
Reality is often disappointing.

A pretty rough way of looking at it if all you get is rejection.

There are lots of ugly guys out there having success and lots of above average guys with none. If you're lacking success, there's almost always something that can be done to improve your situation.

You don't get rejection because you never try.

Same
Chick-fil-A is based

>Dating a coworker.
If you must do this make sure you have a good exit strategy for when you break up.

My dude, I don't even try to date. If a girl ever has the courage to approach me and ask me out, and she's pretty enough, I'll go along but I won't be emotionally invested in it. I'm already less chad than my dad, or any of my grandfathers so whatever. I don't even think they were chad, just a different time to be alive.
Basically, when/if I get a career that can support a family, I'll either find a genuine (young) woman who will have my babies and be a housewife or I'll get a surrogate. As much as I'd like sex, I'm not stressing over it, the dating game, or women's antics.

This goes for me too.
I've played the games for a long time and for a while it's fun, especially when you're winning.
But it gets real tiring for sure.

10/10

There are. For us, at least. We cant date normal women and the vast majority of women are, sadly, totally normal.

>when/if I get a career that can support a family
That's something kinda related to me, but keep dating dude, my last relationship lasted 5 months with a girl who lives 2 hours away from me, we met basically weekly, and all that while im student and could spend 200 bucks per month, it was a great experience, too bad she tried to cheat in the second month and i found out a few weeks ago and she broke up with me.
But don't stop yourself from living wonderful experiences, relationships help build character and a sense of duty that maybe can't be obtained from other situations

It's mostly looks dude, are you looking for STR or LTR?
Remember that looks is what creates the first attraction, you don't see an ugly person and have the urge to talk to them, simple as that.
If you got the looks backing you up but you can't keep the attraction then you work on your social skills or stuff like status, financial stability, confidence etc.

>Girls don't see it that way. They don't look at the lineup and select the highest profile mate.
No, they just pick the immediate highest status and hope to monkey-branch up when someone better comes along.

Pretty much agree with this

putting yourself out there and socializing with different groups and people is the best thing you can do, if you're in a situation like traveling abroad and staying in hostels or studying at a university this shit is EASY and the opportunities are at your fingertips

But if you're in some tiny ass 10k village full of old people and working a shit jerb obviously this will be next to impossible, the issue is not you anons it's usually just your environment.

ignore all this bullshit about pick up artists, chads or "game" for the love of god anons.

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>tfw live in 6k town
It hurts.