IM GOING TO MEPS TOMORROW

what should i expect? any tips?

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First time? They'll just scan your documents, ask a few questions and then have you take a practice ASVAB.
t. went there last week for the first time

Go in with an MOS in mind. They'll try to fuck you into going to a shitty job they need filled. Don't be afraid to not sign if they say "so and so crap job" is all they have available, or that they'll give you a $20,000 signing bonus. The money isn't worth it

You’ve never smoked marijuana. Not even once. No matter how many times you’ve been asked, you’ve never done it. Also don’t get a boner when they touch your dick.

Also, if you plan on going into the special forces, go into a combat arms job you can accept first. If you try to go straight in, as I understand it, if you fail the training course (you probably will), they can stick you in to whatever shitty job they want (cook, etc). Whereas if you're already in some other job you're ok with, and you try out and fail, you'll just be returned to your unit.

what about medical stuff? i have assburgers and im terrified that they will find out

the military is desperate. they can't find good recruits. If you show up early and do what your supposed to you will be the best thing they have going for them. Don't buy the bullshit they sell you about difficulty of joining. Bootcamp is a joke unless youre a pussy foot mother fucker. enjoy hurrying up and waiting and being among the best and brightest (losers who couldn't make it life without a nanny providing for them) lol good luck

Hm, I took the ASVAB before I went in, so the first time I went I was to sign up right there the first time

Literally, just say you don't. I have asthma and all you have to do is just say you don't.

They should have all of your medical records, if they don't already, they will eventually (I think). Didn't you talk about any of this stuff with a recruiter yet?