IM GOING TO MEPS TOMORROW

Make sure you sign the right contract. My recruiter said I was going to be Marine intel and I ended up signing a UH infantry contract. Spent 4 years in grunt hell.

Yeah they'll ask you about medical history. Mainly if you have asthma, had surgery, broke any body parts, have depression, etc. They don't really ask about autism or assburgers.

Pick a job that you want.

Do not go open general. Do Not Go Open General. DO NOT GO OPEN GENERAL!

If you fail in training for the job you want you'll be put in open general. Then you will hate life. So don't sign up for something you can't do - like PJ or CCT.

Speaking from experience user.

It's not too late to back out.

Its been 16 years since i went to MEPS but some guy will look at your butthole and you will sit around for a while.

Remember September 11, Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria?

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This. Can confirm.

if you had private insurance everything on there they can find out about it, but they cant do anything about it. If you had government insurance anything on there can disqualify you from service

Ohh yeah and be prepared to sit around for hours waiting for people to pee in cups.

Open general?

first you are going to think it's just a couple fingers they are putting in your ass for an exam, but then you feel the second hand on your second shoulder and things get CcCrRrAaAzZyY

Pay attention:This is what you need to go with. There’s no “what about?” There’s nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. You’re fine, that’s what you go with for all questions intended to reveal if you’re a freak or not.

There’s a long checklist where you have to check:
>[ ] YES
>[ ] NO

Obviously you check “no” almost all referring your history, but there’s a curveball on one of those forms (I went to MEPS in 2007, can’t remember the exact one) where you’re supposed to check yes. So just pay attention closely to everything you sign, initial, read.

If they can't find an opening for one of your jobs they will put you in a certain aptitude and pick a random job for you.

why are you doing this to youreselfs ... why would anyone want to join millitary ? getting abused, used and spat out, by machine that you don't understand, controlled by people who despise you ... why ? brainwashing in schools glorifing golems in millitary dying or getting tortured for profit ?

Recruiters as I understand it just need to get bodies signed up. It's the people at MEPS who try to fuck you in the ass.

Expect to be treated rudely

If that's the case, then I recommend not signing until you're guaranteed an MOS. Plenty of shitty jobs in the military they need filled all the time

MEPS is the DMV of the military. Prepare to sit around and wait all fucking day while having to deal with angry fat black women with a sub 70 IQ. Don't sign anything unless you have exactly what you want in writing in your contract. Don't believe any of the "oh don't worry they'll just give you X when you get to basic training", they are liars. You have never done any drugs. ever, not even weed. not once. You have absolutely no medical conditions at all. Admit to nothing. You are the most normal and boring person on earth with nothing wrong with you at all. Oh and some dude is gonna ask you to spread your butt cheeks so he can look in your asshole, while another will have you do a duck walk while in your boxers. Hope you don't get gun shy. Some dude will watch your dick while you try and pee. Some people literally get stopped right there because they can't pee in public no matter how hard they try.

Good luck.

That's where you're like "Gee I don't know what I want to do, just pick the job for me." or "I really want to join but nothing's open. Just let me take the first opening for any job I can get."

You can also do open mechanical or open admin that narrows the field down some, but you'll still get fucked.

Had a guy who just wanted to be a mechanic. He even told the recruiter he didn't give a fuck, he just wanted to work with engines and shit. So they put him in open mechanical.

He got Vehicle Ops. Basically a bus driver. He got fucked. Almost didn't make it through his enlistment he was so bitter and angry with everyone.

Military sucks balls, but take my advice, if you have a clean criminal record- you have never smoked weed or seen a doctor or even had diarrhea because you are literally the most perfect person ever.

The litmus test is not giving forth any unnecessary information, and sticking with any and all denials -unless directly confronted with an incredibly specific circumstance in which they already know.

...

When you get to basic, don't fuck the girls in your sister flight behind the dumpster, no matter how desperate you get.

Do exactly what you're told. No more, no less.

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This guy knows his shit. Listen to this advice.

Your recruiter DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR POTENTIAL CAREER. Doesn't matter what MOS you're in, he gets to add another recruit onto his name. Thats all you are to him. He may be a nice guy, and he may be upstanding. But they ultimately dont give a fuck where you end up. This goes the same for the men and women at MEPS. Do not sign anything unless you are 100% comfortable with it. DO NOT cave to pressure. It's ok to say no, have your scores on file, and check back at a later date. Do not fuck your life up. What you do in the Airforce, can make or break a shitty 60k/year job, or 300k/year when you're out. Seriously. Be smart about it. You may not qualify for everything, but do what suits YOU best.

Also, get ready for an old doctor to stare intensely at your asshole.

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>Don't sign anything unless you have exactly what you want in writing in your contract. Don't believe any of the "oh don't worry they'll just give you X when you get to basic training", they are liars
The absolute truth

When you do the depth perception test it will never be the first or last one.

>That's where you're like "Gee I don't know what I want to do, just pick the job for me."
Fuuuuuuck that

Drink a shit ton of water at breakfast

This.

Also OP this is going to be one of the most BORING fucking days of your life.

Right before I enlisted, I had to go to the MEPS civilian staff because my Air Force MEPS recruiter (there is your street recruiter and your MEPS recruiter) fucking forgot about me, which I'm pretty sure is because he wanted me to go open mechanical instead of open electrical.

I kid you not, I sat in a chair in waiting area for 10 hours until I went and asked wtf. The recruiter was pissed, but he didn't say anything because he knew he either fucked up and forgot or was trying to make me sign up for something I didn't want.

>usaf
>ass burgers

You’ll fit in fine, probably get BTZ and make staff your first time, good luck you brave little autist

What AFSC btw?

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Air Force basic training is virtually a daycare center at this point. Expect nap breaks and a shit ton of pudding and all the cell phone time you could imagine.

And yet people do this all the time. I got reclassed into TMO. 50% of the people in the job were open general, 49% were reclassed for failing in other careers. I've met only two people who actually chose the job.

One was a fucking redhead bitch sergeant who picked the job so she could always be with her hubby while she shits out kids every year.

The other was a pussy faggot who whined about how his recruiter told him there was no chance of him getting deployed and how he's all scared to die if he gets sent to Iraq/Afghanistan.

Ask /meg/ on Jow Forums, not Jow Forums.

So that’s why it’s so hard to get a HHG appointment

Sounds like shit bro, cross train if you’re not out

Can you really get a 300k/year job from the air force?

Also this.

Most of all aircraft crew chiefs in the Air Force are all PJ, CCT drop outs.

Already out. If you can try to get your HHG briefing from a civilian. Airmen (like I was) read from a script and don't know the regs 100% (else we'd be sergeants). I had to do HHG for a couple of months before enough people got pissed off that they finally did the smart thing and put me in cargo where I could do blue collar work kicking boxes and building crates.

Oh user you're going into the WRONG field if you aspergers. Trust me if you are antisocial at all it's going to be a nightmare dealing with bitching civs and military all the time.

Maybe if you get out and become a contractor in Afghanistan and also give blowjobs for $1,000 a shot

Or go cyber and get all the certs, you’ll make good money but still have to give mouth stuff here and there for $300k

Hahahahaha, thanks bro I’ll keep that in mind

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No, not inside the military. Most E1's make less then someone flipping burgers 30 hours a week.

It's the skills and rank (and most importantly, security clearance) you get while in the military. Private sector is big money. More you do in the military, more fun stuff you can do outside (and inside as well)

Hide your power level, but slowly drop little redpills to subvert those around you. I wish I would've done this while I was in. Nothing too brazen, or you'll be found out. Otherwise, be a PT stud. Even if you are a bad airmen in all other categories, people in the military love PT studs regardless.

Not desperate enough.

Believe me, if my DD214 says 1J in the re enlistment code and the recruiter says it can take over a year for me to go back in when I FUCKING KNOW there are crew chief slots in Minot AFB, North Dakota that need to be filled and I'm willing to take it....and it's a critically manned field...

They are not desperate enough.

I never understood the reason for this. Thank God mine was a woman and I showered that morning.

What's your GT score?

The military cannot pull your medical records, only criminal records. So unless your assburgers was documented in a criminal event, they will never know unless you tell them.

This, in the Air Force, is what people who got fucked out of a guaranteed job by their recruiter, or who scored too low on the ASVAB for any good good job, or both.

Having OPEN GENERAL on your enlistment contract is literally the equivalent of saying:
>Yes Mr. Recruiter, FUCK ME. FUCK MEEEEEEEEE

Good goy.

An old mans gonna look in your butthole

This. While the military talks a big game about the necessity for more recruits in critically undermanned fields, there's a huge gap between the unit that needs a body and the personnel system. The personnel system just doesn't give a shit, and they never will because they're not the ones being held accountable for operational shortfalls and mistakes due to insufficient manning.

t. former admin officer

if you mess up they will put you on the potential patsy list

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Wrong user. I regret getting out of the military. Even though I was a lefty while I was in and before, but drifted far right getting out, I can say that I had a blast while I was in.

Sure, like any job anybody ever had, there were days I hated it and got shafted, but it was a blast.

Make sure when after the job choosing thing is done, that you have a GUARANTEED job. I was told by my recruiter, by the lady that drove me from the recruiting station to MEPS, and even the people at MEPS, that out of the 8 jobs you have to pick, you are nearly guaranteed one of your top 3 choices. I scored in the 92nd percentile, and had 12 pages worth of job options. I chose computer and decryption jobs, which all happened to fall under the "general" category. After I was done with MEPS, my job was listed as "GENERAL". What I didn't realize is that it was supposed to list your specific job. Not the category your job was in. That means I had a guaranteed job in the general field. But no specific job. Three weeks into basic training I was taken aside to go "pick my job". I was given a list of "general" list of jobs that was half a page with about 10-15 job options. File management. Restaurant management. Security forces. And a bunch of other shit that literally had nothing to do with computer or decryption. They fucked me over, and I'd advise you make damn well sure you know what your job is before you take your final oath.

As my recruiter told me, they're not gonna check every hospital in the country to find where you've been and what your issues are.

Well there's your street recruiter who everyone associates with "the recruiter", but then at MEPS are the actual recruiters who will try to fuck you anyway they can.

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I knew someone in here would get it.

It's the US military. It has one of the biggest budgets in the world at times. I should know the answer as to why (because I was in for for years), but holy mother of god how is there NOT a better recruiting/personnel admin system in place.

The military should adopt something like indeed. You should be able to look and see if there is, let's say, a crew chief slot for a 5 level in Tinker AFB, that you can go take if you are a heavy aircraft crew chief and you're at the end of your term.

Instead the military has some fucking magical wizard clusterfuck of a "dreamsheet" that may or may not ever be fulfilled. Then you got salty fucking Colonels who FINALLY get stationed at sunny MacDill AFB in FL and get pissed that there are people who have spent their entire careers there and light a fire under admins ass to get people orders just because he wanted the base when he was a butter bar and didn't get it until he was a full bird, despite having the best job in the world as a pilot.

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I wanna pilot a tr3b but i doubt I could even get a recruiter to even admit they exist/know what they are...

>The military should adopt something like indeed. You should be able to look and see if there is, let's say, a crew chief slot for a 5 level in Tinker AFB, that you can go take if you are a heavy aircraft crew chief and you're at the end of your term.
They're nearly done developing that and are going to roll it out in the next year or two. However that's not going to solve the operational commander's problem of having a critical vacancy and being unable to fill it because there's just nobody available to do the job. Part of the reason that happens is because, although personnel will manage their retention rate to keep the correct number of bodies in each paygrade and occupation specialty, they don't manage or take into account deployability. This is also being addressed, but more slowly because the major reason some people are non-deployable is pregnancy. It's a HUGE issue that nobody can discuss openly because if somebody doesn't like your tone, they can end your career by filing an Equal Opportunity complaint on you.

Personally I think that if personnel can't fill a critical billet, commanders should be allowed to activate reservists until there's an active duty person who can take over. The problem with that is Reserve personnel management and Active Duty personnel management are completely separate organizations and they don't work with each other at all.

More than likely, they won't know what it is. Believe me, most Air Force recruiters don't know a god damn thing outside their career field.

Also I don't want to summon the men in black by going in and sperging out about above top tech lmao

Any muhreens in here? Would it be awkward if I tried to join if I'm overweight and weak?

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Maybe it was an exaggeration, but I work with engineers working as civilians making a little over 200k, all had military experience and built of their skills. I did four years, got out, went to college, had a shit job paying 40k, then later got hired as a DoD contractor making 64k.

Whatever you do don’t start to get an erection when they are feeling your balls. They claim this is a screening test for hernias but it is really a screening test for perverts. If you start to fail here they may send you for “further testing”. If you get selected for this you are going to undergo an ordeal. If you come when they stick a finger up your butt, your are done. Over. Otherwise it is pretty straightforward. Have fun.

>deployablility

I mean that makes sense a bit, but that's a BIG Air Force problem. When I was in between 2011-2015.

Are you fat and fail your PT test? Can't deploy. Are you preggers? Can't deploy. Did you fuck up and get a DUI? Can't deploy.

The problem is the Air Force and the unit/group UDMs have their hands tied when people fuck up, when in all reality the military should expedite kicking you the fuck out for not being deployable.

As for women, maybe they shouldn't deploy at all since 99% of women in the military can't keep a dick out of their vaginas or risk being pregnant, but alas that's a political problem that the military has no control over.

Your suggestion that reservists shoyld be called up for deployment when a slot needs filled because the active duty commanders and their UDMs can't fill the slot is a GREAT IDEA. If I knew I could take a 6 month deployment making active pay as a reservist by just taking whatever slots I could, believe me, I'd be in the reserves right now instead of being out. In all honesty, reservists COs SHOULD be subordinate to active duty COs and give up bodies when needed, because that's what reservist bodies are there for.

Again, I wouldn't worry about it. Chances are if you, a civilian eligible to enlist, knows about some super duper secret weapon/system program you have bigger problems than a lowly Air Force recruiter who doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about reporting you to his command of lowly recruiting MSgts and CMsgts who just push recruitment paper work.

Lmao at all the enlisted cucks in this thread.
I joined as an officer and blew right through everything. Was treated like royalty at MEPS compared to the 40 other little enlisted onions running around.
Can't wait to tell you little faggots to clean the head.

Dont go.get out while you can. you will learn no valuable skills for the real world.any other jobs is financially better than being in the military.

>"everyone is a faggot and I am jesus, kneel before me"

That's cute. Some CMsgt probably rufded you up your first three years.

They'll fix that in basic user, damn your probable future despair.

Compared to my sailors I may as well be. Those kids will bend over backwards to lick my balls if I tell them to.

You mean physical training stud?

also, that bonus gets taxed.
t. $5k ($3.5k) bonus recipient

its long and boring. get ready for years of "hurry up and wait." bring some reading material.

If I do one pull up they'll let me in right?

hey boys, I was offered (potentially of course) a fucking pilot contract by the USAF and Navy. Anyone with any experience? I know a lot of people go in obsessed with jets and being a fighter pilot, but as cool as it is I would love to fly helos in humanitarian aid, natural disaster, search and reduce, special warfare capacity.

lol desperate? nah, they have standards.

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Expect to learn how to force yourself to kill another human being

any army ppl here?
How can I stay unnoticed and recognized in bct as much as possible?

you don't have to take turns at the payphones anymore? i have a feeling you're full of shit.

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Props for your officer contract but don’t be a dick about it man enlisted rely on you in a leadership capacity, I’d even argue you have more to prove to them about your capabilities than the other way around, just based on pay and respect differences

I'm pretty sure the Marines have a prescreening standard, and one pull up is not it.

not sure if its still the case but you could go "open " e.g. open electric

When I went to meps for airforce they made me pick 6 jobs and 1 aptitude area such as mechanical/general. Do you actually have the option to say no to that?

losers who couldn't make it in real life? U mean like affirmative action niggers or...

Are you one?

>Kill
>USAF

I would argue this is actually the hardest branch to kill in. You have manned aircraft pilots, drones, and special forces. Everyone else is doing intelligence or maintenance! I don’t even know if you fire an actual rifle in basic for the AF. Exact opposite of the marines.

You have literally never been sick before, you are the absolute picture of physical and mental health. Good luck.

Airforce might give you a reach-around while they fuck you.

And this is why I hate the military. Plenty of well meaning good-ol-boys under the command of dumbfucks and rank hungry assholes.

Old asians groping your balls then doing a duck walk.