Summary of what happened: >be me, autist first year in college >join dnd group (5e). Have talked to dm, he's a cool guy, rest of party are rather progressive types, but we don't talk politics and they seem decent. >Play a few sessions, go well by and large from my point of view >get a message from DM saying that one player thought I was a bit obnoxious. Ask what I did for future reference, says he thought I did fine and isn't sure but to just be mindful. I agree. >Next 2 sessions go fine. >DM then sends me a message that the same player thought I annoyed another player, basically, convo goes the same way. >DM then sends me a message apologizing and saying the other players unanimously voted to kick me out and he doesn't want to go against them. >I ask why he doesn't know and then I send a message saying basically that it's not right to kick players out without giving a reason. >no response, the next day I'm a bit calmer, send him a message apologizing and saying I understand him not wanting to get involved between players. He responds in a friendly way. >I then wrote up an email to the player who was previously mentioned as being the one I was told I was obnoxious towards.
This was back in November. I didn't send it since I felt odd about it and other things going on. I rewrote it recently and am considering sending it to her since I don't want to have problems with any of them. Should I? Thoughts? (I can post the email with names omitted if it would be appreciated)
Also, my biggest worry is rumors of my autistic exploits before college will get spread around (as they did in high school).
Yeah just send him an e mail and ask what exactly he found weird, just mention that you're doing it because you're trying to better yourself and you don't hold any hard feelings against him and you just want to know in order to find out what's wrong with you.
Nathan Miller
Tough to say. It's possible you did something wrong, but it sounds like the player who keeps complaining about you is just a bully of the worst kind.
Adam Bailey
Thanks for the advice. Here is the email I wrote up before. I think it does what you suggest, though may be overly apologetic.
Yeah it's goodish, I don't know about using such formal language tho, maybe it's just me. Let's see what the other user have to say about it
Gavin Davis
what did you do user
Lucas Barnes
That is way too formal and I didn't make through two sentences without cringing. Just be normal, say 'Hey man how are you? Can you tell me why the group didn't like me? I'm trying to become a better player and don't want to make the same mistakes.' Something like that. Cut out all of those big words. People don't talk like that, not even the smart ones.
>would like to remedy any if there as I >reading social cues and managing my response has always been difficult for me >my actions are my responsibility >sympathize with my confusion >I bear you no ill will
Please man take these lines out and rewrite the whole thing as suggested, it's way too autistic and they might throw you out of the group just because of this email. I can help you but please reconsider sending that. is on the right track but still somewhat cringry
Owen Flores
Damn bro imagine getting kicked out of a dnd group. Even the lowest level of society won't accept you. Must feel bad.
Angel Edwards
dnd has become pretty normie.
Caleb Moore
Send this:
Hey man, hope you've had pleasant holidays and a blast through the new years.
With everything settled down I'm just hitting you up about those sessions we had back in November when we had some problems. Really sorry to hear that, I just hope we can straighten it out since I really enjoy playing with you since you guys are so easy-going and I enjoy your company. If you have the time, we can grab a bite and talk over it then.
Best, [user]
also, chances are the guys already hates your guts because people are generally douchebags and they often instigate other people in the group against you just because they're sociopaths. My advice is to just move on if they reject you, it's not like you're losing anything of value. Also, you may want to adopt a more laid back approach in the future. Too much apologizing and retrospect is a hallmark of an unsure personality and people will trample you just because, given the chance. Never apologize without good reason and never admit guilt when you don't even know what you're being accused of. You think too much on how they perceive you, but try to explain your point of view for them to understand you. Never go into this much detail unless you're being convicted and talking with your lawyer of being fired for something man. Grow a spine
Dominic Gomez
I wouldn't want to ask them to grab a bite. She might take offense to that (as I have been told she is rather sensitive).
Personally, for the apologizing bit, I think I agree with Carnegie's advice.
James Bailey
>she Oh god did you try to flirt with her or something
Isaiah Stewart
This is why you don't try to join groups with girls in them. They're sensitive little snowflakes and interacting in the group will be like walking on eggshells.
Benjamin Turner
No, I did not.
Aaron Moore
>to her Don't bother. It's not what you're doing, they just don't like you. Find a group that isn't PC bullshit, famalamajamma
John Harris
guys are easier to convince and much more forgiving. I can tell that she hates your behavior and as a big child that she is nothing will convince her otherwise. She probably fed bullshit about you to the others to get you out.
you can rewrite the top a bit to be more sensitive, but I'm not sure anything you do will have an effect desu
Owen Howard
I think I know what's going on here. It sounds like your DM is a cuck that's beta orbiting this girl in your DnD group which is why he's whiteknighting for her to kick you out. Progressive types are usually all too easy to rip into someone and tell them exactly what's wrong with them, which is why something's fishy here.
I don't think your DM has anything against you personally but because the thot has a problem he's going to do whatever she says to get "brownie points" or whatever nonexistent reward system lives on in his mind.
I think you should just scrap the nice guy™ email thing entirely and just directly ask what the fuck is her problem with you, if you even want to respond at all and not drop these assholes entirely.
Multiple girls in the group. Think they are all either gay or ace, but I am not certain.
>I think you should just scrap the nice guy™ email thing entirely and just directly ask what the fuck is her problem with you, if you even want to respond at all and not drop these assholes entirely.
Small school. Don't want to be known as an ass.
Easton Brown
The more I read into this, the more I think you should just strike the email altogether and find another group, even if it was a small school. You seem overly polite, if anything, and if you were annoying, I legitimately see you working on whatever they could hypothetically make up to improve upon it. But I don't think that's the problem. You may not like enjoy this commentary, but you may simply be a downer or not somebody the others would want around outside the D&D game so they see little interest in having you around. If you do an email, just do it to the DM, and see if he has a second group/campaign/party or whatever that you can join there.
