Is it wrong if i want a gf just to have sex?

Yes, because girlfriend implies love and affection.
You want a fuckbuddy.

>but having a fwb is more difficult than getting a gf
I'm not so sure about that. Funny enough it kinda depends on how good you are in bed.

I have a fuckbuddy situation going on right now with a girl who initially told me she would like more than just sex. I told her honestly and straight forward i'm not really looking for anything serious right now. But i still come over to her place to fuck her like twice per week and have been doing so for a while. If you're good enough in bed (make her orgasm), many women will accept a sex-only relationship until they find a guy who is more willing to commit.

No
>forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=133931371&page=1

>Funny enough it kinda depends on how good you are in bed.

how can i get her in bed in the first place?

A girlfriend is more than a sex partner.

>but having a fwb is more difficult than getting a gf, way more difficult

I started dating and sex pretty late in life.

>first kiss 23
>first date 24
>first Sex 24
>first one night stand 24
>first fwb 24
>first girlfriend 26

I can say, by far and away, girlfriend (or at least someone I liked enough to want to be with all the time) was a lot harder than sex was.

no it's not wrong in anyway

>but having a fwb is more difficult than getting a gf, way more difficult
Me
>meet guy at gym
>seems nice, talk a bit at a vending machine because I had trouble picking out a protein shake that didn't taste like garbage
>talk a bit
>he is kinda hot, and training makes me a bit giddy
>ends up trading numbers and share workout hours
>Meet him the next time, finish at the same time
>pulls me into a bathroom, have a long make out session that we end up breaking up due to no protection
>next time we meet, have sex after the workout
>now we have sex 2-3 times a week, after workout.
>he doesn't even know where I work, just what my position is, and I only know the approximate area of where he lives, and that he is busy with a career at a large firm.
>don't even know each other's last names
>No commitment, nothing, we both expect the other to look for a proper relationship down the line, and we technically aren't even exclusive, we just happen to have no one else, so we keep going
We are near the 3 year mark at this point. The closest to lunch date we've had, is a protein shake while walking to our cars in the parking lot of the gym.

He is probably a 7/10, amazing body, really handsome face, but only 5'7. Not sure if I could date him, don't know enough about him to be able to tell. His appearance is certainly not an issue for me.

You don’t want a girlfriend you want a friend with benefits.

shame i don´t know any girl who acts slutty like you do

> If you're good enough in bed (make her orgasm)

Thats a myth. Good sex is about what happens in your head, not counting orgasms. Chemistry and all that. Get out of your head and do what you like and it will be good if you get along well on that level.
This type of mechanical thinking and believeing taht the number of orgasms is all that counts just leads to a lot of stress and needless pressure which is the best thing to fuck up good sex.

The reason you think girls don't engage in FWB , or that it's hard to find a FWB, is because youre judgmental.

If a girl senses that you're going to judge her for having sex and liking sex, then she's not going to be sexual with you. It's that simple. You're creating your own reality.

I was the same, It's not wrong, it's fucking stupid, unless you find fwb, which you won't(unless you are a chad or she is twice your age), so you have to consider if a person is nice to be around. I got rid of a trashy girl I could have sex with everyday because she is trashy, like really trashy, I felt annoyed with her being in my room all day, I'd much rather have an ugly, unsexy girl with good personality around, who'd treat me like a manchild I'm and let me boringly fuck her every few weeks. So basically I should get a milf.

On one hand, your post tells me I need to be less of a pussy. On the other hand, I feel like if I actually tried to get with girls like this at the gym or other places, my 5/10 face and 5'9 height would just lead to me getting kicked out for sexual harassment and get #metoo'd to hell.

>getting kicked out for sexual harassment and get #metoo'd to hell.

Unless you happen to approach one of the rare women who are one foot in the loony bin, that won't happen

> 5'9 height

Some women will not like your height, so what? Some don't like black hair, oters dont like smokers, and very often they decide that they donÄt care after all once they get horny. Limiting belief, nothing more.

>my 5/10 face

Lot of guys for some reason have atendency to find themselves alot less attractive than they actually are. 5/10 is btw perfectly average, and therefore not a problem, if not a boon.

>FwB
No commitment, just sex, and expected to take good care of her (aka don't be selfish in bed). Most would expect you to be exclusive, but would understand breaking up if you found someone you want as an actual partner.
>like what?. i never had a gf, that´s why i´m asking
-dates
-take a lot of time out to be with her in general
-move in together
-establish a proper schedule and delegate tasks between you
>100% expected to not engage in any kind of romantic activity with other girls.

>If a girl senses that you're going to judge her for having sex and liking sex

i never do that lmao, the thing is where i live, slutty girls are not common

The fact that you even refer to girls as slutty means that it's the way you think, which means that they'll sense it whether you intend to express it or not.

>slutty girls are not common

Girls are "slutty" (i.e. like sex) by default. Its the ones that dont that are the exception.

This

>slutty
If that's your definition of a girl who wants to have sex with you, and with no other obligations, then you are fucked if you don't know someone like me. Because this sounds like it's literally what you want.

For the record, this is the second guy I've ever done anything physical with, even kiss. Had a boyfriend of 4 years who cheated on me, got burned out way too hard, and didn't care about relationships anymore, at least not for now. Found this guy about a year later, and haven't looked elsewhere so far.

Completetly OT, but how inportant was it that he made his move and pulled you into the toilet? Did he do it just out of the blue?
I do have a massive problem with escalating things out of nothing without feeling like a complete sperg

Thanks m8.

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take it easy, i never said all girls are slut,

at least for me it´s pretty difficult to have sex since most women i know play too hard on me,

as i stated earlier, is a shame i don´t know any girl who just want to have fun with me, without me having to flirt to her for several months to get into her pants, this shit is too tedious

>I feel like if I actually tried to get with girls like this at the gym or other places, my 5/10 face and 5'9 height would just lead to me getting kicked out for sexual harassment and get #metoo'd to hell.
It depends heavily on what you do. This guy approached me really intelligently, using my clear contemplation to ask if I needed help picking a protein shake, and then went from there. If you cold approach, you need some sort of guaranteed response question, and that can probably be difficult to find. If you just creep up on someone with no warning, and no legitimate reason for doing it, you risk getting creeped out reactions.

That said, if you can find a good small opener, that should tell you enough about her to know if she is a #metoo cunt or not. It's not like you would ever be in sexual harassment trouble for asking a question. At least not legitimate trouble. He avoided contact completely during our first meeting, and just noted my reactions, and then figured out how far he could pull me the following time.

Not sure if it's just me, but I get awfully horny when working out. No idea why, and I haven't really had the courage to ask other girls if they have the same issue, because I still feel it's really weird.

>Girls are "slutty" (i.e. like sex) by default. Its the ones that dont that are the exception.
I think the word slutty is being misused here. When I think slut, I don't think that girl who wants to fuck her boyfriend, whom she lost her virginity to, twice a day, whether he can or not. I think that girl who has had 10+ partners at the age of 20.

Stop dancing around the point

You think girls who have casual sex are slutty and then wonder why girls won't have casual sex with you. It's because you think they're slutty.

Just let it fucking land. Stop rationalizing.

>how inportant was it that he made his move and pulled you into the toilet?
I mean, had he waited a month more, and brought me home instead, that would probably have been fine as well. It did help that he was proactive though, I am awful at making any moves, I am just good at reacting to advances. So when he went for a one-armed clap on the back, I had no problem turning it into a hug, etc. I realise most girls might not do that quiet that easily, though.
>Did he do it just out of the blue?
He asked me if he could borrow me for a few seconds, and pulled me into one of the locker rooms (meant to change there as well). I kinda expected what he wanted though, he had not been shy about touching me that day. I think it caught us both off guard, because neither of us had prepared any protection, so we didnt really get anywhere.
>I do have a massive problem with escalating things out of nothing without feeling like a complete sperg
It's all about confidence, but I feel you. I am pretty lucky that I am a girl, i don't think I would have ended in this sort of situation if I was a guy.

Should have clarified, I'm not OP. I just thought it was a bit much to say "liking sex means you are a slut".

I agree with your points, I'm just nitpicking.

It's about looking the right places. That co-worker (you don't work close to), that girl from the gym, the girl that was looking at you at the bar, etc. Approach with confidence, make small talk, and escalate FAST. If you take it slow, it won't work, guaranteed.

This is also one of those times where making a tinder profile looking for a FWB is a viable option. Lots of sluts looking for sexbuddies.

>and no legitimate reason for doing it

That being said, thinking a girl is cute and wanting to get to know her is enough of a legitimate reason, if you can't make one up.
If in doubt, just be open on why you're approaching her. If she reacts badly to genuine honesty shes probably a #metoo cunt anyways.
Other than that, that post is a great manual on how not to creep out girls. Be sensible and feel the vibe that currently is between you to know how far you can go.

Casual sex by definition... is slutty. Lol

I agree, that's why i wrote 'make her orgasm' in parentheses. I know it's not all about the orgasm but obviously it plays an important factor in it.

My point being, if she enjoys having sex with you, she'll likely be open towards a fuckbuddy type of relationship as long as you treat the woman in question with respect and don't treat her like your personal cum dumpster.

so fwb only works with a girl you´re not related or you don´t see too often? right?

Wanting casual sex while simultaneously judging others for wanting casual sex is, by definition, absurd and hypocritical.

Do you want to be standing on the outside with your nose in the air, or do you want to join the party? It is your choice.

Workouts boost testosterone, testosterone is a sex hormone. I've actually read about women who take test to transition, and are surprised at how horny they are, even the ones who thought they had a high sex drive. Same thing happens to me after a good workout, I just want to pull whatever cute thot is closest to me and just rut. I don't have a study on hand, but I'm pretty sure how some girls feel after a good workout is close to a guy's average sex drive.

Thanks for the advice. I've gone most of my life thinking girls would just find any advance I'd make against them unpleasant, and have only realized in the last few years that women might actually like being approached (gasp), just been a matter of getting over fear of approach/rejection and not being so down on myself.

I think this is the never ending paradox of sex.

Almost all guys would love to have non-committed, casual sex with a woman. Yet almost all guys judge women negatively who engage in casual sex.

Thanks for your honest response

When I did stuff like that, I always foudn that there si some sort of flow to it. As a guy, at some point you just get the strong gut feeling that its time to do something now, and the tricky part is listening to that even if things go wrong.
I always feel like I should be way "smoother" than I actually am, but it appears you really simply need to do it, even if you feel like an autist doing it.

Well, at least its an easily solvable paradox, since it just exists in your head. And getting rid of it puts you into an area were competition grows thin as long as the average dude thinks like that.

>won't have casual sex with you. It's because you think they're slutty.

oh yeah it's because they can magically read minds and see what he's thinking..

You must be pretty dense if you can't pick up information about peoples lifestyle and beliefs from their body language and subconscious signals.

Easier said than done user.

I think guys are wired to only approve of a lady having sex if WE are the one she is having sex with lol.

You don't have to approve of someone to have a sex with them. She's not your gf, remember?

>I think guys are wired to only approve of a lady having sex if WE are the one she is having sex with lol.

Nah, its simply societal. Hunter-gatherer societies were never monogamous either, so having multiple partners is totally okay to your reptile brain. Its simply growing up in a society that has stabilized itself through monogamous family bonds for thousands of years hat makes you think women having sex is weird.

True that.

This.
I don't know why people are always so quick to put something down as being an evolutionary trait.
For example, did you know that arachnophobia is not some primal deep seated fear, but a learned behaviour that is simply passed on over generations?

I am very not judgemental, I like women who are open about their sexuality, I am a very sexual person myself, incredibly high libido, and if I DO get laid, I do well.
However, I simply for the life of me cannot figure out how to get women to sleep with me.
I just can't do it.
I have had sex twice, both within the last year and both seemed like incredibly lucky coincidences and I was drunk on the verge of blackout both times.

op here, same thing for me,but for me it´s worse since i never fucked a girl without me paying her before the act (i only go to hookers for sex)

Sex with 2 different girls in 1 year? That's not at all bad if you ask me. Many guys would commit murder to have sex with 2 girls per year (non-prostitutes).

> I was drunk on the verge of blackout both times.

Let me guess: It switched off your conscious thinking and enabled you to make a move you would have considered completely retarded/ too scary when sober?

Well, that's not a bleak outlook at all...
Also, before last year, I was a complete and utter kissless virgin for 25 years of my life.

I think you're problem is that, i assume, these 2 hookups didn't lead to anything?

If you had managed to keep both these girls around for a longer period of time (turn them into GF/fuckbuddy/FWB), you would have been in a pretty good position.

first one could have been something, I majorly fucked that up almost immediately though.
second one was a holiday flick. It was freaking awesome, but obviously nothing that can work long term.
I was moving to fast with another girl lately and probably fucked that up also.
I felt like I had a couple of options lately, but they all fizzled away almost simultaneously in ways that I could hardly have influenced.
It's just way too rare for a woman to show interest in me, every fuckup results in months of nothingness.

Yes.

If you have a too strong social connection and spend too much time together, it inevitably becomes a relationship to one of the two parts. It never ends well in those cases.

It feels wrong just to have sex with someone to me, but I've always been a one woman kind of guy. Really loyal and caring for one gal.

I would assume it's like anything else. Until you can accurately make these guesses correctly, it will not be as smooth as you'd want. And well, to know if you get it right, you have to get it wrong, at least once in a while.

Nothing. Just be upfront, but don't be crass.

Instead of saying "I want a fwb"

say "I just want someone cool to hang out with"

etc etc

Do not ever mention sex. They get it, trust me.

I've gotten laid so many fucking times, and girls want the same time. But society has conditioned them to never admit that. They're delicate.

I've gotten more pussy than anyone I know, and I have literally never, ever lied to manipulated a girl to get it. Just be cool. Act like you don't care about sex, don't pressure into it, and it'll happen.

I've been called a chad, and I probably am, but I grew up a fucking loser, so I've seen both sides. I can give any feedback or answer any questions to anyone, humbly. I'm no god. I'm probably an 8 with a great personality.

>Pic unrelated

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