I caught my boyfriend cheating

don't even have a hint of doubt in your eyes or he will do some gay shit like get you flowers and then blame you for not accepting his 'generous gifts'

No, I don't care about it. I'm over it.
I want to just move on.

Does he know you know yet? This conversation goes in steps. You break up and then determine whether or not to immediately kick his ass out based on his reaction to that. If he acts like a douchebag, boot his ass. If he seems genuinely apologetic, it isn't too bad to give him some time to move out, but make it clear he's gone and that's that. Is he on the paperwork for where you live? This is important.

>Does he know you know yet?
No. I found out earlier today.

>Is he on the paperwork for where you live? This is important.
No. My dad and I own the flat we live in.

More detail on the cheating needed.

Are you 100% sure? How did you find out?

Well, there you go. You hold all the levers here, don't let him convince you otherwise. If he's a bitch about it, don't be afraid to boot his ass. If he isn't, and you're feeling charitable, he can stay for whatever length of time he paid his rent for. In another room or on the couch. Not with you at all. The relationship is over.

Really. You shouldn't care, girl. He did neither. The way you sound you deserve better, but we don't know the whole story.

I'm 100% sure. I read chats of him and a friend of his talking about meeting up and fucking.
My laptop run out of battery and the charger was at my parent's, so I used his to download an attachment to an email for school.
He was on facebook, chatting from his phone at work. When I opened the browser, facebook was open and I could see the chat.
They were sexting, so I scrolled up.

He doesn't pay rent, I thought we were going to get married soon so I always let him stay for free. He's been living here for 5 years.
We split the bills and groceries, and that's it. But they're all in my name as well.

>The relationship is over.
Yeah, I have no intention of staying with a cheater.

I'm not a cunt, I don't want him to suffer. I want him out of my life, but I don't need to get revenge.

Lol thats a stupid mistake by his part. If you gonna cheat you always get a second phone desu.

They might have been just sexting but thats still dumpworthy..

Nah, they literally talked about meeting up in person to fuck.
Like, "I am coming in 30, I told her I'm going out with the boys".

I never check his phone or laptop, I'm not a jealous person at all. I don't give a shit.

Okay. You aren't doing him any revenge. Stop being a pushover for your own sake. You'll have to do it someday anyways or you'll be an undercover cuck.

I just don't know what's reasonable to ask him.
Like, "I stay at my parents for a week, find a place to stay and move all your shit out" is reasonable?

Nope. More like "I'll stay here, don't talk to me, sleep on the couch and gtfo here within 3 days" is the softest i can think of.

I don't want to be in the same house as him. I don't want to be around him anymore, to be honest.
I just want him gone.

Ask him to move out and hope he agrees without any further drama. You alone can not force him to if he refuses you must go through the court to evict him. He has rights.

Honestly f he’s not paying rent he should have some money saved up. Make him get out ASAP and he can get a hotel like a big boy

Well, then boot him. You hold all the cards. Loads of people would not only applaud it if you burned all his shit on the lawn, they'd help you. When you next see him, rip this bandaid off hard and kick him out. Be firm. If you want, have your dad there in case shit goes sideways. Make him give you his key back and then set up a time for him to come back for the rest of his stuff.

The traffic light ones never work.

Does he? Even if he doesn't pay rent at all, and the house is mine, he's entitled to live here?

He does, he has around 10k saved up.
Plus, yeah, he has his new girl. He might go sleep there.
I'll just tell him I found out and I want him to go.

>Loads of people would not only applaud it if you burned all his shit on the lawn, they'd help you
I'd never do that, I'm not that kind of person.

I'll ask my dad to stay here, just in case.

Hey OP I think you should tell your dad and ask for help just in case.

Yeah, I think I will. I didn't want to make things awkward. I'll probably just have him sit outside in the car, till I'm done breaking up with him.
If he raises his voice or anything he'll be over in a second.

>I'd never do that
I know. The point is that you hold every possible card here. End it, boot him, and be done. Your responsibility for his housing ended when he cheated. He can live with her, he can live with his parents, he can live in his car. It's not your problem. I know it's hard to separate yourself from him, but you have to. He broke the deal.

>Does he? Even if he doesn't pay rent at all, and the house is mine, he's entitled to live here?
Absolutely. Even squatters have rights and must be evicted properly. In America at least.

His parents aren't here, and he doesn't have many close friends.
I guess his mistress counts.

I hope he's not too much of an ass. Should I talk to a lawyer?
I mean, my uncle is one, so maybe it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Only if he knows that and intends to cause problems. One or neither of those things could be true.

>Should I talk to a lawyer?
Ask him to move out first, hopefully he doesn't even know his rights and will leave. Its really not needed its a simple process, but if you are uncomfortable go for it.

Ignorance of your rights doesn't eliminate your rights. it just means he doesnt take advantage of them out of ignorance.

OP I really hope someone cares about you enough not to cheat on you day. Godspeed.

That's very sweet of you, user. Thank you.
I hope you'll have an extremely happy life.

>Does he?
Yes. Just because he lives for free he is there because you allowed him in. If you want him out and he initially refuses you absolutely must go through the courts. It is essentially threatening homelessness, even if its unlikely this incident will leave him homeless for real. You must give people a reasonable amount of time to move out no matter if they are there for free under your grace, paying rent, or even a squatter who isn't supposed to be there at all (note squatting is when you are in a home with no tenants, so no you cant break into a home someone lives in and be considered a tenant) and if they refuse to leave you MUST get it court ordered because that is just how it works.

Is it reasonable to just try and tell him to leave first, or should I get it formally done?

Not OPs problem.

It's reasonable to try and kick him out first. If it gets legal, get a lawyer. Either way, eventually he will be gone.

>Is it reasonable to just try and tell him to leave first,
Yes. Only when they refuse do you have to get legal. If he does refuse, put your eviction in writing.

Thanks.
So it should be fine if I just tell him "I know you are cheating on me. I want you to leave the house. I'll leave you to pack, you can come back to get the rest of your belongings over the weekend"?

I really don't want to argue, I just want him out and for this to be as smooth as possible.

Sounds like you deserved it you dumb bitch. Maybe stop dating out of your league for security you dumb bitch.

I don't even understand what you're talking about.

I would say that. Keep it short and firm. Don’t let him talk to you about it because that’s code for “let me try to change your mind”

Dunno if you want him alone in the house on that pretense tho, just FYI
Maybe invite a friend to chill with en private when he comes to pack.

I don't want him to talk to me about it. He fucked her, I don't need him to explain to me anything.
I want him to move out, and to move on myself. I just hope he's happy.

Should I just hang out there while he packs? Can I ask my dad to be there?
Shit, that's going to be so awkward. Kek.

You're a badass op, I hope if I get cheated on I can handle it as well as you're handling this. Stay awesome.

I mean, just given how much could go wrong with him being there alone. I guess you know him better than us but then again, maybe not.
Your dad would be perfect security. Perhaps TOO effective but hey, tough times, tough measures.

I'm just thinking if he's violated your trust once, it's no problem to do it twice, especially if his losses are cut

Make sure you pack up your most valuable possessions before you tell him. Don't want him getting vengeful and smashing your fine china.

Nah, you're right. He's the type to throw stuff in anger fits (hasn't happened over the last 5 or 6 years, but he has history of doing it) and I bet he's going to be a bit pissed about getting broken up with and thrown out of the house. My dad would be definitely good security, he's big, scary and likes guns. Maybe a bit of an overkill, but hey. Maybe you're right, better safe than sorry and I don't know him as well as I thought.

Thanks. I honestly am a bit shocked, but I will suffer once I get this shit sorted out.
I'm not a vengeful person in general, it's such a waste of energy when I really will need a lot of it to recover from this shit.
I hope you never get cheated on, it sucks.

Make it two separate conversations. "I know you cheated, we're breaking up." followed by, "It's time to go."

Why are there so many stairs?

I guess it's a lesson in sitting too long on a good thing and letting it rot. You gotta keep people occupied otherwise the imagination starts wandering.

no

You should talk to your partner if you are not satisfied. Cheating is never okay.

Male or female this is a pretty straightforward scenario.

1) find somewhere else to live
2) move out, ideally while your partner isn't there
3) show up once everything is moved and tell them it's over and you don't want anything to do with them.

This has always been harder for women than men, but once you've been cheated on, the trust is gone forever. No trust = no relationship.

Talk to your dad and family before talking with him to be sure that they know your whereabouts. Id recommend having a friend or family member sit in when you ask him to leave so he does, 1 try to get back with you or 2 try to break stuff. Id recommend taking pictures of your whole house before this discussion of all your possessions and move in with your dad/mom until he moves out completely. i think america its 30 days. Let him know that you arent looking to destroy his life that you just want to move forward and need him out to recover and grow without him. Through the years you might have accumulated stuff together so start working on a list of things you dont want him to take. then just never look back and delete him from everything after its over, GL OP

Ok just read your whole thread.

Change the locks and leave his stuff outside. If he goes nuts call the cops.

As long as his name isn't on the lease or mortgage he has no right to stay. He has been a guest thus far.

I'm a realtor the law is on your side.