Long story short, a few weeks ago I thought my wife cheated but she legitimately didn't. I said some fucked up stuff. She's usually really cheery but I think the entire situation fucked her up pretty bad. The look in her eyes honestly makes her look dead inside. Last night, I found her crying in the bathroom while I was asleep and asked her what's wrong, she said she's just still recovering from what happened but she's okay. I feel like shit and don't know what to do to make it up to her. She's always been an angel and pampers me. We've never even really fought over something big before so I definitely don't know how to handle a situation this fucked
Long ass greentext in the next few posts.
Long story short, a few weeks ago I thought my wife cheated but she legitimately didn't. I said some fucked up stuff...
What made you thought that your wife cheated on you?
What made you think that she didn't?
If she was cheating you would literally never know. You can never say for sure she hasn’t cheated unless you stick next to her 24/7.
>cousin lives 7 hours away but is my best friend
>told him to visit for a week for his 27th birthday
>having a great time with him, a couple of my friends and my wife
>come home from work the night before he leaves
>go straight to bathroom to take a dump
>find used condom on the floor in the hallway
>seeing red
>honestly considered grabbing my gun
>immediately call wife in
>ask her what this is
>squints for a second and says a condom
>stare at her
>calmly says she knows how bad it looks but she actually has no idea how it got there
>I just stare at her more, almost ready to hit her for (seemingly) lying
>starts sobbing softly
>says she understands and doesn't know how she can prove it to me but she'd never do anything like that
>send her out and call in cousin
>ask him the same thing
>plays even dumber
>tries to say he doesn't know what it is, "a balloon?" (kek), etc
>says to ask wife because she's been home all day and he was out
>get even more pissed because instead of thinking my cousin banged my wife I start thinking she brought in a stranger and fucked him in our bed
>scream, "that fucking ungrateful whore I should kill her"
>wife probably overheard
>see/hear her lock herself in our room
>walk out, still horrified and angry
>go to room, find wife sobbing loudly and texting her mom
>grab her phone out of her hands, see her actually texting her exactly what she said, that she doesn't know what she's gonna do, I was her first love and supposed to be her last (we were eachother's first everything), etc.
>still don't buy it
(cont)
>stops crying and says she'll ask her mom to pick her up if I want her to leave
>just say, "yeah" and sit there in silence
>cousin walks in and says he has something to tell me
>brings me to our spare room
>starts crying and sobbing into his hands
>says he hired a hooker on his bday to lose his virginity
>never had a gf that I knew of but didn't think he was still a virgin
>was actually weirdly gone for hours that day
>says he had sex at a hotel and got a blowjob in his car
>said he must've left it on the seat or floor and tracked it in (ended up checking condom again, there was actually a shit ton of dirt on it and it looked completely dry, felt kind of retarded but hey I went fight or flight mode)
>says he's so sorry and he didn't realize what would happen if he lied
>get even angrier because I just probably ruined my wife emotionally and was probably close to unironically assaulting her
>push him and tell him he almost ruined my marriage
>yell at him for a few more minutes
>he sits there crying and apologizing and saying what a piece of shit he is
>we go out in the living room/dining room
>wife is sitting there at the table in silence, shoes on, jacket on, bag ready, not even crying anymore
>completely forget to tell her what happened because I'm so pissed
>a few minutes pass and I realize I'm retarded
>tell her that it was my cousin's, he met a girl at a bar on his bday
>starts sobbing uncontrollably, saying thank god
>tries to call her mom but can barely talk
(cont) a little more but that's most of it
>end up going for a drive with wife to be alone
>she just stares out the window and starts quietly sobbing on and off for a while
>we talk
>says how she felt like a part of her died inside and what was happening couldn't be real
>how emotionally destroyed she'd be if our marriage ended, especially over something that didn't even happen
>tear up a little but all i can do is apologize and say I didn't mean to hurt her
>she says she's just so thankful that everything turned out okay and that she was literally praying to god in our room
>everything's ok
>go back and my cousin apologizes to her
>she says at least he told the truth and starts crying a bit
>we sit for a little before my cousin drives home early
>wife cries on and off the entire night
i hate the word yikes, but holy shit yikes, this is legitimately fucked up. you can't even really blame anyone.
Wait, why did she accept all of this if she was innocent? I'd expect a vehement opposition from her if I were in her shoes.
It's very clear that your cousin fucked her and that cover story is bullshit of the highest degree. Dump that cheating whore. Sorry but it's true OP.
honestly I'd probably react the same way. what are you supposed to say other than you didn't do it when the evidence is a used condom and the cousin saying she was home all day? it sounds like she just went more despair mode than angry
You guys really think she cheated? They both seemed pretty legit. Why would a cheater still be remorseful after getting away with it?
She went into despair because she knew she dun goofed and she knew what was comming. Her text to her mother was just a subconscious action she took to make her look good not only in your eyes, but also hers. This is a setup for a divorce she knew was comming, she planned to make you look paranoid, her logical approach instead of an emotional one (that would fit her more, as she's a woman) was just a ploy.
If she reacted with anger and tried to put sense into your mind or pointed towards your cousin (she didn't, because she didn't want to put him into spotlight, out of fear he would fess up), you coupd believe her.
I guess you're right. What should my next course of action be?
>the state of incels in 2019
>women deny something hysterically
>SHES COVERING IT UP
>women deny something normally
>SHES COVERING IT UP
based adv
>uses ‘uniroincally’
Are you actually sad about what happened, or?
OP, you said you feel responsible for your wife being upset. Did you do anything abusive to her? If not, I guess you’re in the clear, and it’ll all be chalked up as a misunderstanding.
I think what you should learn to do is think before reacting. Even if you didn’t have all of these people over your house, it’s possible your wife could have invited some people over she has a platonic relationship with, and they could have left the condom there. It was also uncool of you to push your cousin and blame him for what happened. That’s probably stuck in his mind for ever, that he confessed something very embarassing to a person and instead of appreciation he got mildly bullied.
I guess blame isn’t important here. It’s all such a random accident. All I’m saying is, that’s my advice, to think before reacting. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that one of the many people in your house could have left the condom. Maybe it was even more likely than your wife leaving it, had she been cheating. Maybe your wife will feel better if you tell her that you shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, and that it’s how you react to things sometimes, rather than anything personal against her.
This is what I thought. The cousins story sounded like something he had to sit on for awhile to make up
Honestly the whole ordeal took probably 10 minutes (not including the end) if that. I kind of doubt he could come up with the entire thing that fast. He went into more detail than I said (saying shit about how he felt like shit for being a virgin on his birthday, talked about how girls shit on him, that right before he left he got rejected, was too mortified to say anything, etc).
I actually never even considered that. There were a shit ton of people over just the day before too. Thanks, I do get kind of rash a lot. I did kind of think about how dumb a cheater would have to be to leave a condom and felt pretty shit. The only thing sort of fucked up I did was the initial whore thing and grab the phone out of her hand, but yeah, there's still the fact she's pretty fucked up about it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to believe her story? lmfao it was probably rehearsed and they left it there on purpose.
>They left it there on purpose
Are you retarded?
We can never know for sure how that condom got there, and we can never know for sure if your wife is cheating on you. That’s the position almost every spouse in the world is in. Trust is about believing someone against the evidence or in the absence of evidence. I don’t trust people not to cheat, after what I’ve seen in life, but that’s me. I believe there are a good percentage of people who don’t cheat.
Seriously I've been called an incel by quite a few roasties and betas on this board but holy fuck you are the real thing.
how the fuck do you accidentally track in a used condom from your car into a house? I've never seen or heard of a condom sticking to your shoe.
This. How the fuck does a slippery piece of rubber stick to a shoe? And who the fuck just keeps it lying around? And then proceeds to sit/step on it and it somehow sticks and they don't notice? If that piece of rubber had been inside a prostitute for half an hour, the first thing on my mind would be to get rid of it.
And you resorted to calling names instead of challenging their legitimate arguments. Retard.
didnt even read the thread but I've had a used condom stuck to my ass (probably) from riding the bus. freaked out and got an std test right after. i hate public transit
Slippery? Lmao condoms dry up and get sticky.
>when the incels legitimately reveal themselves
Top kek.
I've had several occasions where I woke up with a sore asshole and a rectum full of cum and ended up getting full blown AIDS from it. But I swear I've never even had sex. Turns out it was just a condom that I tracked in from a McDonald's bathroom that somehow made it into my colon.
So we're saying the cousin stuck around for a while after the prostitute left then. Makes sense.
I believe the cousin is still lying. We are to believe he tracked in a condom after disposing of it somewhere else. He says he got laid in the hotel, and a blowjob in his car. Unless your cousin is a fucking retard, he wouldn't have use a condom for a blowjob. At least the probability he used a condom in his car (based on his story) is low. This leaves us to think he used the condom in the hotel, tracked it into his car, out of his car, and into your house just for it to randomly/finally drop off his sticky cum stained shoes in your hallway. Unlikely but not impossible.
The alternatives are that he is still lying about where he fucked the hooker, what he did the with condom. I personally believe this is the most likely.
If he did fuck your wife, they would be god damn sure to flush the condom down the toilet.
I’m a girl, not an incel or anything and honestly I think the tracking the condom inside thing sounds fishy too.
>>starts crying and sobbing into his hands
nothing in the story makes any fuckin sense
Your wife going full on leaving to moms is more like a wife that has been busted. If it were not true she should have been mad or laugh in your face but she just wanted to go hide.
Even if your cousin was a virgin he should have bragged about getting some pussy and not crying and going on about this silly ass story. It is also possible if he was a virgin your wife fucked him, feeling sorry for the guy.
Toilet tissue sticks to your shoe a used condom doesn't.
Anyway this whole shit show stinks
they fucked behind your back, op
there are too many red flags for it to be anything else.
your cousin's initial reaction where he pretended to not even know what a condom was.
your wife immediately starting to cry screams guilt.
the text to her mom saying 'i don't know what i'm gonna do,' instead of 'he thinks i cheated on him'.
then the fumbling excuse your cousin gives you about fucking a hooker and tracking the condom inside.
the trust has been shattered, and now it's time to move on. throw up the deuces and get an attorney.
Why in hell you you people have fuckable aged men come and stay for days at your house and leave them alone with your wife? I don't understand that stupidity.
>Unless your cousin is a fucking retard, he wouldn't have use a condom for a blowjob.
Enjoy getting stds from a hooker.
Only one who can confirm the story is the hooker, sadly. The story sounds pretty bullshit except maybe if you consider the cousin was a virgin.
She explained to her mom though and she didn't immediately start bawling. He said that in the OP.
>she texted her exactly what she said, that she didnt know what she was gonna do, i was her first blablabla
Of course it deeply bothers her, you scared the shit out of her, very angrily told her you didn't trust her. Scared enough she thought leaving the house was the only solution. She was in flight mode because she didn't feel safe around you. That's not instantly repairable or just no big deal. She's crying because she's playing what you said over and over in her head trying to rationalize it.
Its going to take time to build back what you fucked up.
the cousin burying his face in his hands and weeping was ridiculous, likely he did that to keep from laughing or OP being about to see he was lying his ass off
this all the way
i wish i could have seen this shit show first hand
it would have been all time great lolocaust
OP, you will only find 2 answers here.
She cheated on you
She didnt.
You have to decide, but your wife is traumatised, regardless if she cheated or not.
If she didnt, she saw an angry ugly side of you, if she did she got caught and almost lost her husband.
But i think she didnt, she would have got rid of the condom. And i think you belive she didnt as well.
My bad, you guys reminded me. I forgot to mention that he showed me her eros page and their entire text exchange to reassure me. Unless it was literally what said I don't know what to say.
I don't think your wife would risk having another man in your house when your cousin could walk in at any time even if he went out for awhile. So, if she fucked someone it was your cousin so how have they always acted around each other?
No lol fuck you, that user doesn't know shit.
OP you sound like you need some form of aner counselling.
You straight up utter a death threat to your wife and felt like attacking her. You jumped to conclusions and worse, let your anger be your front and center emotion.
I get it. I really do. I would have gotten mad too but thats because I KNOW I have anger issues. I've been working on them so the anger doesn't appear straight away and hijack my mental processes.
You need to work on that too.
Otherwise what happened here can only be helped by openly talking about your feelings and pampering her for a while.
She did absolutely nothing wrong, you have to get that. She was oblivious to all and her reaction was probably fueled by the fact that wives get killed by their husbands a whole damn lot.
>stops crying and says she'll ask her mom to pick her up if I want her to leave
i would never agree to leave when i hadn’t actually done anything wrong. either your wife is extremely submissive and/or you’ve been abusive in the past and she was afraid of a repeat. OR she offered to leave because she knew she did something wrong and was accepting her punishment.
The fact that you're even willing to follow along story, man, you're fucked in the head lol. You're insecure as fuck.
I can only hope one day you don't kill your wife, like you've literally already said you would.
>i would never agree to leave when i hadn’t actually done anything wrong.
That's because you're not a woman. You want to defend your honor, a woman is more likely to be concerned with avoiding conflict.
actually i am a woman lmao
That's your view, I assume, from being a male.
Most women are probably entirely aware that husbands kill their wives an awful lot. OP even mentioned uttering a death threat loud enough that she locked herself in her room.
I've had crazy psycho ex gfs accuse me of cheating. I deny it initially, but psychos dont listen to reason when theyre going off. Continuing to argue when tensions are high generally don't resolve anything, a smart person backs off.
Whether or not your wife did something, don't lay a finger on her or you will lose your guns. Losing your wife is one thing, losing your wife and your guns is even worse.
Ok well one way or another, becoming argumentative with someone who is uttering death threats is a baaaad idea.
If you've got the balls (and lack of survival instinct) to try and grab a bull by the horns, great, I hope that works out for you. But don't try and paint people who avoid conflict when the other party is irrationally angry as people who are hiding or accepting their guilt.
I wasn't really looking for those kind of answers. I completely trust her. I just want to know if there's anything I can do to make her feel better and if she's scarred for life. So far I've only gotten and you (kind of) answering that.
That's not me. You're probably still right though.
I've gotten a little angry at her before but I assure you I've never called her anything bad, screamed, or laid a finger on her. I just wouldn't be able to stand a cheater. She's a really sweet, traditional, and sensitive girl in general. The longer this thread goes on the more horrible I feel.
and i do hate conflict but something like the love of my life accusing me of being unfaithful when i haven’t been.. desperate times call for desperate measures. i’m not going to run away with my tail between my legs and not even attempt to fight for my marriage.
>”i think you cheated on me”
>”oh, ok.. no way to make you believe me so i’ll just go to my moms.. bye :’(“
like wtf is that? that’s your reaction to your marriage potentially being over, over something you DIDN’T EVEN DO? i’d be sobbing hysterically and begging him to believe me and refusing to leave until he heard me out and we figured out what happened together.
Do you guys not read or what?
>sobbing softly
>sobbing loudly
>said she'd never do anything like that
>finally resigns and gets her shit together after OP said he'd kill her for being a whore
Just because someone did something slightly different than what you did you think they're lying even though evidence is 99% in her favor after ? It's pretty clear she probably just knew what OP's personality was like. He mentioned throughout the post he was almost never convinced. Hell, he didn't even talk to her at all until his brother told the truth, like she was a fucking toddler in timeout.
DEATH
THREATS
Oh ok good, that user was giving shit advice.
Now's the time to show her how much you do love her and trust her. I'd first probably set this up with the whole telling her about all your thought processes at the time. Tell her about your anger, your jealously or whatever it was you were feeling and why you were feeling it. Then everything that you were ashamed to admit, tell her exactly what you are ashamed of and want to work on.
Keep an eye on your anger though OP. If it manifests into more dangerous thoughts, I would suggest professional help. You haven't done anything yet, so thats good, but you're showing signs.
I know it's anecdotal, and I am projecting a bit here, but if anything I'd rather just throw that advice out there hoping it might prevent something in the future. It was not at all very apparent to me of my descent into becoming abusive. It was far too late when I did realize it.
If there was dirt on the condom then that verifies the story. How else would there be a filthy condom in the middle of the floor?
You faggots do realize that women are capable of NOT cheating, right?
I swear with you morons it's either "she's denying it, the cheating whore!" or "she admitted it, the cheating whore!".
His cousin owned up to it and if nothing else pops up there's no reason to doubt him, or her for that matter.
I have no real advice to offer you OP, it's a fucked situation and neither of you are at fault, it's obviously going to strain the relationship because both of you just had a divorce spook, even if everything turns out fine knowing how close you got to breaking up over cheating that never happened will shake both of you, especially her from the sound of it.
Do your best to nurture the relationship, dates, quality time, stuff like that, don't leave this metaphorical bruise untended.
If after a while you're still having trouble you might consider couple therapy, but we're not at that point yet so no reason to look for therapists in the yellow pages just yet.
>cousin is a shitposting ex virgin, probably posts here
Sounds like a great guy, should invite him over to fuck your wife.
why do people cheat anyway? if i had a gf i would never cheat. just because why would you risk that?
Ok, than you need to apologise to her repeatedly. And explain to her that you are sorry for what happened and how you came to that conclusion. And after that maybe just maybe you might repair that relationship.
Too many reasons to list. All of them boil down to being too cowardly to just break things off, but the reasons ontop of that are many.
t. young, inexperienced incel
My point to OP about that, is that he can’t rightly decide which thing happened. Most likely, he will never know.
It’s the same with leaving creepy uncles and friends around kids.