I got my first girlfriend and sex is so underwhelming. Everyone says how sex is so amazing and all this shit. But it’s very underwhelming. My gf and I rarely have sex because I never really want to do it. I have the urge, but having sex does nothing for me
Because you're having the sexual equivalent of plain oatmeal you fuck. MAKE IT HOT.
What are you guys usually doing?
We’ve tried various positions and butt stuff
>foreplay all day long
I don’t know if that would help. My gf can get me horny, but actual sex doesn’t do much for me. The only time we have sex is when she wants it, I never initiate anymore. She loves sex and she can easily orgasm 4-5 when we have sex (especially buttstuff). But for me, it does nothing
I'm with you OP. One of the big factors is not really being attracted to them deep down, though. What all of the "she's going to get ugly anyways, personality is most important" people seem to forget is that sexual passion is an important part of a relationship, and when it doesn't occur, one side or the other is likely to get burned by it.
I don't have any advice on fixing it besides only going for girls who are your personal 10/10, but that's never easy.
What do you jerk off to? And normally I'd tell you it's bullshit, but do nofap for a little while.
Is OP ace?
If I really like her. She’s a blast to be around. I enjoy our dates. It sounds really fucked up to dump someone who you connect very well with, especially when that person is someone who is very loyal and you have 0 concern of her cheating on you... all because of sex. Why would you dump someone just because of sex? That pretty much says the relationship was only about sex. Her pictures and sometimes pictures of girls on /b/. Never porn. I don’t watch porn
Then what positions have you tried? Are you in shape? Are you spending the whole time just trying to please her?
I don’t know all of the names. But missionary, doggy. Her laying on her stomach with me on top pounding her butt, her on top riding me, her on her back with her legs on my shoulders. I’m underweight but not a skeleton. I have some muscle and I don’t tire out. Yes usually I am just trying to please her.
This user gets it
Stop trying to please her and do whatever impulse you get. Just use her body exactly the way you want to. It'll turn her on too it's the best of both worlds.
Basically you're too much in your own head while fucking and you need to get out of it by going to some primal impulses
Well that’s the only way I can cum. I have to zone out. But even when I orgasm it doesn’t feel all that satisfying
Try just focusing on your own pleasure once or twice. Try out doing whatever you want to her, and try out getting her to do things for you. It might be a "get your foot in the door" type thing.
I don’t know what I like. I thought I liked bjs, but I can’t enjoy them anymore. In the past it was the only thing that could make me actually cum hard. But I can’t do them anymore
Maybe you're gay
Not even fucking kidding
that’s a retarded comment
Go to the doctor dude, you probably need some exercise. Honestly you might be depressed, like clinically depressed, not meme depressed.
>go to the doctor Why? >exercise I do. I do cardio and I lift. I am underweight but I’m not unhealthy skinny. >depressed I’ve had real depression in the past. For many many years. Really bad depression. I’ve come a very long way since then. I’m 100x better now than I was
Because, as a genuine concern and not an insult, I think you might have low testosterone.
We constantly say sex isn't worth the pedestal you morons put it on
You do you, man. But I also personally think that if one of your main highlights to a girl is "well she won't cheat on me," that you're in the relationship for all of the wrong reasons anyways.
A relationship isn't only about sex, but in reality? It should be at least like 1/3rd of it. At least in the beginning. Because it's only going to get worse, not better.
I’m 27, I shouldn’t have low T. Not only that, but I grow facial and pubic hair normally. wouldn’t that signal I have regular T?
That makes no sense,
Why would you NOT want a partner who you trust and feel is loyal? I’ve known so many people who have been cheated on... with my gf, I have 0 thought of her ever cheating. It’s not even a concern because I completely trust her.
OP you probably just have a low sex drive. I would recommend joining a gym to get your testosterone levels up and also improve your endocrine system, the bodies reward system. Do things that make you feel good, like perhaps hiit (high intensity interval training), or lifting weights. Personally after I've had a good workout, especially after heavy squats, I have insane urges to have sex with my wife, and generally it's better than normal.
I've also had to learn to have sex for myself, my wife isn't as into it as me. I used to try last for 20+ minutes to make her cum, but now I just do what feels good for me.
You can never really tell unless you ask your doctor. I grow a beard pretty quick, pubes are normal, big dick and big nuts, but I'm like 80% sure I have low T. It might be embarrassing, but you should ask your doctor.
But if I can easily get an erection, then how can I have low t? When my gf and I fool around, I get very hard and I will drip pre-cum like crazy
>but I’m 80% sure I have low T So.. you don’t even know
That doesn't mean you have no issues, your dick just gets hard when it's stimulated. That's just the way it works, this is how women legit rape men, or how if you're asleep and someone plays with your dick without waking you it will get hard. It doesn't mean you want it to, that's where the t levels come in.
>endocrine system, the bodies reward system. God damn it, why do people have to undermine good advice by throwing in bullshit like this? The endocrine system is not "the body's reward system". It handles shit everything from muscle development to lactation.
I'm just saying that shit like that doesn't really matter. It's the behavioral symptoms that give it away more than anything else.
Sorry, i'm talking specifically about endorphins. You can't improve endorphins through exercise, but you can improve the endocrine system.
Not claiming to be a professional on this stuff though. Just saying, exercise can help.
It totally helps, I just get annoyed when people say random bs alongside real advice. It just ruins the advice and spreads the bs.
Does she have what you would consider an attractive body? Including face.
>various positions >"here maybe if I move slightly differently I might suddenly get outrageously turned on" You're hopeless. FOREPLAY. BUILDUP. PUSH EACHOTHERS BUTTONS. You already know what sets you off. Dont tell me you dont I know for a fact you've whacked it to doujins that had you painting the fucking wall. Literally just involve your fetishes retard.
Sex is the only thing that separates friendship from a relationship. It's not "only about sex" but it's a huge part. And the reason sex is such a huge part by the by, is because of the massive fucking levels of seratonin oxytocin dopamine and vassopressin released when you have sex. And I bet all my pogs that's what's going wrong. For one reason or another that ain't releasing for you. Could be you're gay, could be you're asexual, could be you're so damn focused on the physical feeling of sex and thinking that's what everyone meant when they say it was awesome your expectations are being let down and youre failing yo focus on the fact it's an act of intimacy.
Stop wanking and stop watching porn. After a week you will rip her clothes off and you will ravage her like a panini. After 4-6 weeks your dick will be twice as sensitive. If you can't stop wanking, atleast cut back to once a fortnight and stop porn completely.
I'm starting to wonder what kind of idiot thinks cutting porn is the immediate cure all to every sexual problem there is... The only thing it's been clinically shown to improve is erectile dysfunction but only in cases where porn became the sole conditioned stimulus to ejaculation in the first place...
As in it helps you get hard but only if you taught your body "only porn is sex time" to begin with.
But I can get hard and drip like crazy without her touching it
It changes expectations in the bedroom on an unconscious level, hence why people get ED or find sex disappointing. With masturbation, you condition yourself to respond to your own hand more and your own sweet spots. This literally is the kind of problem that porn causes, you have to be an idiot not to try it, especially with how easy it is.
I don’t understand >you could be gay >you could be asexual I feel like you’re intentionally trying to give me shit advice I already said I don’t watch porn
WHY do people keep talking about ED in my thread?
Erections are NOT the problem. My gf can get me hard as a rock and leaking pre-cum all over the place without touching me
>Sex is the only thing that separates friendship from a relationship This is a lie. Intimacy and romance is what separates a friendship from a relationship
You are either a repressed gay or you aren't attracted to this girl in some way. Maybe you are one of those people that needs a loving relationship to be sexually satisfied.
Multiple anons have already given you decent advice but i'll give my personal list of things you should think about:
>are you properly attracted to her sexually? No i'm not asking whether you like her. I'm sure your GF is a lovely woman. But liking someone and being madshit horny for someone are 2 different things. You require genuine, primal sexual desire for your girl that feels almost animalistic. That's called sexual chemistry.
>Are you engaging in enough foreplay? Alot of guys don't put enough emphasis on foreplay. Foreplay is key to set the mood both for her and for you. It makes everything more pleasurable.
>Be healthy physically. Eat a healthy, well-rounded diet and engage in heavy weightlifting atleast 3x per week for optimal T-levels.
>How often do you masturbate? I don't care how often you do it, but your'e probably doing it too much. Cut your masturbation habits in half. Allow your balls to build up some sexual energy instead of constantly fapping it away.
>Could be >Along with multiple other solutions.
I'm not giving any advice, I'm explaining why people think it's great since you asked(it's not the sex itself. It's the after feeling sweet biology provides. So no, it's not common to be so unsatisfied always) hoping you just need to reframe, then explaining it could be a lot of different things and an online forum in essence can't tell you what's wrong.
Which are caused by the hormones and pair bonding chemicals released durrinnnggg???? Physical intimacy ding ding ding!!
Was solely replying to the guy who immeduately said you had to stop watching porn, which is an internet autist go to for anything. The Ed part was nothing more than me explainijg the only thing it works for and had nothing to do with you.
>>are you properly attracted to her sexually? when we make out my dick will get hard as a rock and it will drench my underwear in percum.. I obviously am attracted to her >are you engaging in enough foreplay I think so. She will get extremely wet. She will rub her fingers over the head of my dick >heavy weight lifting 3x a week. I don’t have time for all of that. I do exercise and eat healthy though >masturbate Like once a week
>implying sex is the only form of physical intimacy
Do you use condoms?
Condom use can seriously sabotage the pleasure you get from intercourse if you aren't using them correctly. Use thin ones, and always make sure you lubricate the head of your penis before putting on the condom.
If you're putting the condom on while the head of your penis is dry, it can feel like you're fucking a plastic bag.
I use ultra thin condoms >lube Well I leak so much precum that I’m sure it’s lubricated not long after I put it on
Then i honestly don't know what's wrong OP. It's definitely not normal.
The only 2 things left i can think of that could be the case is that either you have some sort of hormonal issue or anxiety issue or something.
...Or your GF's pussy is unusually loose?
>ITT people don't understand that there are variances in libido Sometimes people just aren't that sexual , OP. I've only recently been getting interested in making love with someone I care for deeply.
The concept of casual sex never entered my head for a long time honestly, although it's not like my development cycle is normal it's just the way it turned out.
>Implyinf you fall deeply in love with everyone who hugs you.
well the Jew took my foreskin when I was a baby. Maybe that was part of it >gfs unusually loose pussy I don’t know what that is like
I don’t know how this is relevant though. I never said I have casual sex >implying kissing, holding hands, and cuddling isn’t physical intimacy
Because different people have different amounts of sexual urges, drives, and overall satisfaction through sex user. There is a lot of variance between people.
Doesn't matter if it's casual or romantic , there are always differences. Also I suppose by casual I mean just regular sex. Having sex with your gf is something I'd classify as casual sex.
>Having sex with your gf is something I'd classify as casual sex. That’s not what casual sex means. Casual sex means having sex with random people
I've noticed before that ultra thin condoms make me feel less, not sure why. Also check there is not that chemical agent in them that increases longevity. It's a relevant point dumbass, OP's complaining about bad sex experience, that can relate to porn.
Not if you're religious desu, even if you're bf/gf there is still an ocean between people. Hell, even if you're married there is a gap in contact, but religion isn't the question here
I don’t understand what you’re talking about
Sexuality is developed through genetics and environmental influences. You know how people can have different personalities? Some people are happier or more impulsive, some people are more somber and collected. Some people don't receive much of a "release" from certain forms of sexuality as part of those differences.
It might be the status of your relationship , maybe you're not as close with your gf as you want, of it might just be that you're not as much of a sexual person as you think you are. Not really sure how I can make this clearer honestly.
He is stupid and has different definition as casual sex
Where do I find one
>foreplay Meme for smalldick peasants.
>buildup Lmao, women and their stupid opinions.
>muh nofap >muh magic powers What is this incel cope shit.
your gf, I will take her off your hands if you dont want her ;__;
no. She’s a good gf.
>foreplay is a meme for smalldick peasants. That's news to me, I guess I'll just take my 8" cock and ram it in dry with no buildup. I'm sure all the ladies will love it.
>my 8" cock 9" is dicklet cutoff, faggot. Now fall back in line.
>ram it in dry with no buildup Imagine being so unattractive that the chick isn't wet by the time you take off her pants.
Work on your ugly mug first, then on your sex skills. If the chick isn't wet by herself when you try to stick it in, you failed.
Who hurt you?
He's obviously joking my guy.
Why are you mad at the truth that you don't turn women enough and have to salivate over their pussies in order to put your dick in?
Why are you mad that your dick is small enough to fit in without foreplay?