I have social anxiety and have a massively uncontrollable urge to swallow every time I’m talking to someone...

I have social anxiety and have a massively uncontrollable urge to swallow every time I’m talking to someone. I wanna kill myself for it. Any other solutions for me? It’s probably unbelievably awkward.

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Anxiety usually stems from insecurity? What goes through your mind when you're around people OP?

the way I’d describe it is like, there’s a voice in my head telling me to swallow, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t ignore. Mocking me, teasing me.

That sounds odd, why swallow? How does it mock and tease you, it's telling you to swallow?

yes, I try to fight it but then it would feel like i’m choking and eventually I would swallow

That's, weird. Not sure if this is bait or serious but if you're serious try talking to a psychiatrist. This sounds like a deep rooted problem you have.

I never wished I wasn’t serious more in my whole life than right now.

Go see a therapist. That's some weird shit

This is fairly important; do you actually hear a voice which is not your own?

Go to therapy, hearing voices is a bad sign

no

what if i do? not op

it’s like my own mind is telling me to swallow, giving me an urge. I should have worded that better

Who gives a shit? Just swallow and continue talking. People don't expect perfect communication skills.

And just practice meditation to relax.

Yes, have you ever watched an interrogation where the suspect is talking and emoting like they're just trying to avoid swallowing at all costs? Everyone knows what a swallow means, it's a tell, like in a card game. It means you're hoping not to be revealed. Are you putting on a "guy smiley" face when you interact?

Oh my god, they'll find out where I hid the bodies.

That's another defense, in the same vein. You're trying to avoid being seen as what you see yourself as. Starting to make any sense?

You'll never find them in time this way.

bunp

this seems like one of these issues that get worse the more you think about it. if you stop fixating on it, it will probably disappear slowly.

bump

Op you probably have a mild form of OCD get it checked out. Anxiety and OCD disorders overlap quite a bit.

Use anxiolytic treatment or one anti depressant with anxiolytic such as "Paxil"

Try just letting it happen. Focus instead on being less anxious. If you can just stop, though, do that. Don’t let the urge dominate your life. Also, see a therapist.