>tfw 33 year old khv >no friends >no social skills >hate my job, low income and live with parents How do I make it?
>yesterday overhear coworkers talking about a party with other coworkers, I wasn't invited >attend Latin dance classes, don't talk to any of the grills. I just leave after class, I think others stay and chat >don't meet any other people, spend most of my free time at home (home gym, and browsing the web)
>at work for most of the day, even working on weekends. Can't get a better job because no connections and no social skills to pass interviews >coworkers that moved to nice jobs were Chads with huge social circles What do?
Pic related. I just want an avg qt3.14 azn gf and to be able to afford my own place without being poor
>try to quit porn and masturbating >go and workout >dress well ONLY >don't think about wahmen that they are an ultimate goal, but a nice bonus in your life >read some books about economy, stock exchange, selling propertz etc. >believe in the concept, that you will get punished for bad stuff you do, but rewarded for good stuff you do and here ya go
Not him but literally what is the harm in it? It can only do you good.
do you know about the law of attraction? absolute bullshit but recently ive been thinking that perhaps our world really changes in reaction to our thoughts. i have these strange experiences almost on a daily basis recently. its like what i think about happens the very next day.
It doesn't have to be religious. Just believe in karma dude!
Because when you inevitably discover that it's not true then you will end up hating the world and everyone in it even more
>I just leave after class, I think others stay and chat Why not just stay for a bit?
it is true! when you help as many people as possible, some will remember it, and help you eventually too! Maybe you'll go even to heaven after death.
>>attend Latin dance classes, don't talk to any of the grills. WHY NOT!? I used to go to Rock N Roll dancing classes and I was almost the only guy who talked to the girls. I left the class talking to a different girl almost every class. Dancing young people are almost always chill. Please talk to those girls
Not really, it will make you feel sad and guilty and helpless when something bad happens to you and you can't figure out what exactly you did that was wrong.
Being nice to people is good but taking bad luck as "punishment" can be dangerous.
Thanks for this advice. Just finished two weeks of noporn and nofap, my longest is a month
Heard about it, just hard to stay positive sometimes
I don't know what to say. I don't even talk while dancing. So I don't want to stick around class and fail at talking to people
Sometimes the couple next to me talk, I can't hear what they say but a lot of times they end up laughing
I mean that you should think, that when somebody does something bad to you, you should instead of getting mad, think that that person will evantually punished by a higher law. this is how you can control your agression.
I see. Do they rotate the couples every few minutes in those classes? They did in the ones I went to, so that everyone dances with everyone. I'm not sure how I started the conversations with these girls... Well I remember I ended up talking with one who told me she used to do ballet. And with another one, my ice breaker was asking what they did at the previous class since I couldn't go and I joked about how everyone is probably an expert but me all of a sudden. I talked about music and bands and stuff with one of the girls. What we were studying, where we worked, etc. The typical question is probably "how did you decide to take these classes?" or "who's your favorite musician/band of [genre you dance to]?". Or you could comment on how you like a particular song, or ask her about some specific move and get some tips/advice. Always show that you are having fun, have a smile on your face (not like a psycho though, just like someone who's having a good time). Maybe you could try going on a different day so you meet other people and start from scratch. I assume new people join these dancing classes often throughout the year anyway. How long have you been going? Anyway good luck!
Ah I get what you mean and I hope so too, but at the same time it reminds me that if there's a just law and power that punishes people that way then I'll probably get my punishment for all the people I said "kill yourself" to on the internet.
Thanks The one I go to does rotate partners. But it just seems odd to ask details about someone, like asking what they do for work. I don't want to pry, or maybe they'll wonder why I want to know. But maybe I should just try and see what happens
I smile, but I'm also very stiff in my dancing i think Been going for about 4 months
Ah yes I'm stiff too and that's okay since you haven't been going for THAT long I guess. Well you could start with stuff related to the dancing itself and then move to other topics. Another thing I remember asking is if they did any other kinds of dancing and if they knew any place to dance this style (the style we dance in the classes) but like a disco/nightclub kind of place. Like to try out the stuff we do in the classes. Just as a conversation topic though. You could get to other topics if you discuss first why you go on this particular day and if you ask if the girl goes to the classes on some other day of the week. I mean Idk how you do it but when I went to those rock n roll dancing classes there were several classes on several days of the week, each day on a different part of town. So you have the topic of how often they go and why (maybe this one place is good because it's close to where you live or work or the time is good because you leave work at a certain time or you study at a certain time, which leads to the topic of what you do for work or what you are studying). Also, remember that dancing is one of the best skills a man can have, be proud of the fact that you are actually taking dancing classes and that you want to get better at dancing. It's all about practice, I mean some few people have natural talent but you can work and be good too if you don't have natural talent.
I can already tell by your pathetic photo collection you're are pedestalizing the girls you are dancing with.
Learn to neg, flirt and have fun, and don't put weight into what your saying. You're having fun. Be passionate about the dancing, get good at it. Don't be afraid at rejection, you have to polarise people in life to get people to fall in love.
Read Models by Mark Manson, you are doing alot of things right, however some things need tweaking. Do you lift?
That's a bitch move, user.
Nope it's not. It can be Machiavellian and cruel if the person has no skill, however it's teasing if deployed not in it's cruelest sense.
Exampled pulled Urban dictionary.
pua - "that's really cute, your nose wiggles when you speak" (9+) -"no it doesn't" pua - "ha ha, there it goes again, sorry, its just really cute"
Girls pull this shit on men all the time. Women want to be dominated. You have to convey higher value to her, and negs are a good way of doing it. I'm grimace when I hear men pull nasty negs, that's not my style however stuff like the example above is great.
Thank you for this
Thanks, I have read about flirting, but tbqh I'm not even good at normal non-flirty conversations with guys or girls
Read the book. One thing he mentions is being financially secure, I still live with my parents
The people in your life don't talk to you or invite you to things because you have closed body language. You are subconsciously sending out vibes that you don't want to talk to anyone. It's hard to be aware that you are doing it but from the outside it's clear as day. Just think if you were around someone that always looked away, crossed his arms, didn't introduce himself, and left without saying a word. Would you think that that guy wants to talk? Or would you think, that guy isn't interested in talking to me at all. Be more positive and open. Introduce yourself and be friendly. Why don't you invite your co-workers to lunch or something like that? Also, you should think about dropping the asian fetish.
I think the law of attraction is true, but not as it's presented. It's not some magical glitch in the matrix, it's just that when you change your thinking, you begin to change how you act. That will eventually lead to you making what you want happen.
Depending on time of year, I work 40-80 hours a week, on average around 50. Plus 2-2.5hr commute each day
I can rent a place, but more than half my after tax income will be gone. Housing in my city is awful
I have about $75k in savings. I did the math and I can't even afford a 1BR in my city with my income
Have you thought about moving out, maybe across states?
Considering you're near a big city, you have got to start using tinder and have fun with it.
It's going to take big changes and getting out your comfort zone to progress user. You have some good foundations to work with, the dance classes and money. What sort of job do you do, is it people facing?
Thanks for the suggestions Mortgages will only pay like 4x salary. My salary is 75k, and decent 1BR start at $550k Plus, even with a mortgage, my monthly fees will be like 80% of my after tax income. This is for a 1BR in a decent area in my city.. pic related, except data is two years old, prices are even higher
I have a people facing job of sorts. Actually I wasn't promoted the past 2 years, and didn't even get an annual raise this year because I lack people skills
Like, no one would ask me to have lunch with a client, or stay for hours at the company booked box at a sports game with a client
I want a better paying job, but I don't have the social skills for it
I'm not good looking for Tinder, have no pics, still live with parents
You are making alot of excuses up here. You have to get creative. No pictures for tinder? Take a selfie. Even better, in Toronto go somewhere interesting and ask a passerby 'Excuse me, could you take a picture of me?' Easy as that, don't overthink it. Ask for someone to take a picture of you whilst dancing. Tell someone at your dancing class: 'I told my friends at work I've started dancing classes and they think I'm full of shit. Can you take a picture to prove it?'
These are all really easy to do, and you'll even get a kick after you've asked, come success or failure.
As for living at home? Don't worry about it. Go out with some girl in Toronto. Get drinks, go to the park, movies (people diss it and I know why, but it's not as bad as people think) and use some of that $75k to get a hotel room, or get the late bus home. I'm 21 and I'm just out of a 5 year relationship. I've spoken to friends who live in my home town miles away from a city, used Tinder, and went into the nearest city which is 20 miles away and slept with girls there. You are not bound by circumstances, you have more freedom then you can imagine. If you want a new job, you have to put in applications. Go to the interviews and see what happens. Keep on saving, and aim to move out by 35.
user, this next month you should promise yourself to do three things:
1) Make Tinder and message one girl. You have pictures, even if you don't like them you have pictures.
2) Update your CV and apply for at least one job you would prefer to do then your current one, or has greater benefits e.g closer to home.
Keep saving, keep going to dance classes and keep lifting. Do these two things in the next month, and you'll be making more progress. You'll feel it in your spirit, trust me.
Can you promise me this?
email me if you like, I'd like to hear if or if you didn't do this. The accountability will help. [email protected]
i am unattractive, but will try to get pics and create a tinder will apply for a job too if i find a better one
Good thing there are no fat married beta providers
Two words, priorities dude. Go and fix the more important matters first. Get stable, a woman will appear along the way and you'll see an opportunity. The problem is you're being very specific down to the ethnicity you prefer. From what I've seen a lot of Asian women are fairly ambitious and won't just date anyone outside their social circles. Don't be surprised they don't approach you. It helps if you look a little Asian, I know I do and I have seen Asian women like you describe interested in me LOL but I'm somewhat Native American so that explains it.
This is all true, you need to have a stable, base life before trying to date. Its okay to like Asian girls but dont ignore the others. It's true that asians from the other countries won't approach you unless you do it first. Asian-American are different, they're like white girls, just asian.
thanks, trying to be stable. worried most about income right now