I’m not suicidal anymore. I did it

I’m not suicidal anymore. I did it.

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What's your secret user?

Good, now the next phase is to stay like this for the rest of your life, find a good girl, get a job and find a hobby

>I did it
tfw OP is a ghost

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Kys faggot

Same here, OP!!!!
I hope this lasts long

Absolute feels

It’s hard to explain really, but I’ll try my best. During the time I was suicidal, I saw no real purpose or value in my act of living. I saw it as something I simply did. With no real reasoning behind it. Everytime I failed at becoming who I wanted to be, I felt more and more that I shouldn’t even exist, that it was all pointless, and that I’d never choose to live as how I wanted to live. I’d never have any kind of progress or self-actualization. I hated myself, and figured I’d better be dead than live as someone I didn’t belive I truly was, or who I wanted to be. I could not stand being someone that just simply existed. I would either be who I wanted to be, or I would not exist. I always approached life with the principle that self-honesty was what mattered most, that fooling myself would just make me more miserable, and I was right. What I was wrong about was the conclusions I reached with my self-honesty. I’m kind of just rambling, I could go on for hours, what matters most is how I got out of my situation. To do the same as I did, you would need a complete lack of distractions, and you will need time. These two factors are key for waking up out of sleep of depression and self-hate. Do what you need to get comfortable and be in the best state of mind. And, for as long as it takes, even if you have to do it over the course of a few weeks, simply take in the entirety that is existence. This isn’t something I can reveal to you, it’s something you have to reveal to yourself. After enough time of meditating on the world, you will realize that intensity and gretaness that is existence. You will be aware of just how much there is, how much has been, can be, and will be done. You will see the wonder in the ability of humans to determine themselves through free will. You will start by taking in the awe of the reality that is existence, and you will slowly then start to focus in on yourself.

When you start to focus on yourself, you will see so much potential that you will feel overwhelmed. However, you will be overwhelmed in a good way. I’ve had panic attacks regularly for most of my life, and I can tell you that be awakened into knowing your own potential as a human being, is like a super positive version of a panic attack. And this enlightenment stays with you. It manifests in a consistent mindset. A mindset of recognizing your ability to be great and live it out. You will love responsibility, you will love existing, you will love being yourself. At the end of all this, you will go to bed wishing there were more hours in the day. It is the best feeling in the world. Trust me anons, I understand that what you’re all going through is difficult, and you feel hopeless, but this is also the most crucial moment for you all to gain some sense of hope. You can better, and you know you want to. I can’t simply make you better by talking to you. But I can tell you what worked for me. If you want to gain meaning in your life, you will have to become 100% aware of the gravity and seriousness of reality existing. You will have to eventually become aware of the unique and amazing position you are in by being a human being. You’ve got this anons.

>unique and amazing position you are in by being a human being
What do you mean? All I can think of is that although I'm better off than many people economically (I'm glad I have a family, a job and that my family has a house) I'm also very much lower than almost every person I see every day when it comes to self esteem, mental health and intelligence

Congrats OP, now run, run away from Jow Forums and never return, good luck

What's with this meme that it's Jow Forums's fault? If it weren't for Jow Forums I'm sure that the opposite would have happened, many of us would have already killed ourselves. You can find actually good advice here sometimes. And talking to people in here is probably better than not interacting in any form with anyone. I doubt people would just go out and see what's up if Jow Forums didn't exist.

Like I said, some of this is very difficult to explain I would put it like this: You, as a human, have the ability to choose. To choose how you identify, you can determine who you are. That is something completely unique to humans. And how you choose to be is completely unique to you. I hate to sound like an SJW, but, too an extent, you are special. You have worth, and you have an ability to be different. I think the reason many people are suicidal, including myself, is that they feel as though they aren’t worthy of this gift, this responsibility. This inability to “live up to their potential” fills them with anxiety. This anxiety causes them to become hopeless, and not take action. And this makes them feel more depressed, which makes them more anxious. This is the type of cycle maky fall in. If you simply gain the ability to realize how much value you have, you can escape this loop. People are suicidal because they want to escape their situation. I escaped my situation in a way that made me happy. You say that you’re lower, but you don’t have to be. Free will is something I can’t praise enough. It is the definition of amazing. I probably sound cliche, or like a normie, but I don’t care. You have to remove negativity from your life. And for me, part of that was taking a break from Jow Forums, something I recommend for everyone here. You can’t judge yourself in reference to others, you have to judge yourself in reference to who you are and who you want to be. I can talk forever, but ultimately you have to be the one that comes to notice your value.

Good for you user. It's a good feeling to beat that part of yourself. And if you've done it once if those feelings come back you have practice in beating them and it gets easier as you go.

Glad to have you with us brother, with existence, with all it's seeming flaws, good or bad, squeezing out the lemonade from what life has to offer till the very last drop.

Existentialism gets us all. Purpose and meaning are interesting things. Nobody knows exactly how to define them. Glad you're on track user.

I understand this position. Jow Forums could be good, it has helped me somewhat. However, it has also led me into this tribal mindset with other depressed people that made me feel as though my suicidal mindset was no big deal. Now, I realize how horrible it is to want to not be alive. In general, I’d say be careful with Jow Forums. I think it is a good site overall, but I also recommend leaving it for awhile to do some honest self-evaluation without the influence of other depressed people who are too accpeting of their position.

Ah I understand your point now, I think. I agree.
I try to be different and unique as it helps me compare myself to others less. But I was already doing this back when I was suicidal.
In my particular case, what seemed to make me stop being suicidal all of a sudden was saving up and finally buying one of my all time favorite cars. I can't drive it yet because it has no insurance and it may still need some repairs, but I guess I'm thinking about my car and the stuff I can do with it, instead of thinking about killing myself now. Though that also makes me think that life is just about distracting yourself hard until you get old and die.

Yeah but you have to remember that billions of years ago the universe was created then a long time later stars we're colliding and the universe was just a hot molten mess then it cooled down and then life erupted on this single rock and then it evolved and a few hundred thousands of years ago Gene's from two early humans (or humanoid and neanderthal) mixed through decisions of sexual selection to create your earliest ancestor and you're the product of hundreds of thousands of years of basically luck genetically all the way to your parents to you.

And you're on that same rock that it all happened on for millions of years orbiting a small star i.e. a giant ball of fire in the sky that can keep us warm and you can observe birds and trees and nature in all it's glory and you have this universally important thing called consciousness that allows you, a seemingly insignificant part of the universe, to observe and contemplate the meaning of the whole thing, which might be the only reflexive truth in the entire universe, so it's anything but insignificant.

And sure you can compare yourself to the others you see around you but you're unique in so many ways, so instead of that you could just take a walk outside and breathe the air and recognize how extremely, mind-bogglingly, astoundingly important you are right now, as you, in this moment.

Or.. y'know.. you could ignore all of that if you wanted to. And the fact you can is pretty special too.

>that made me feel as though my suicidal mindset was no big deal.
I noticed that too and still think that way. Lately I keep having the same dream however where I'm about to kill myself and many people I know (including my parents) don't even care, don't look at me and don't mind me dying, they just act like I should go ahead.

I’m not going to be a pseudo-intellectual and act like I know what’s best for everyone. Honestly, in your post, I see a lot of reason to be hopeful. If you were to simply live with distractions being your focus in your life,, oyu would end up miserable, but your self-honesty has shown you that materialism isn’t the ultimate way forward. This self-honesty might make you uncomfortable and challenge you in the short run, but it will pay off greaty in the long run. If you stick to self-honesty, you will eventually come to a more concrete anser for what you believe your life is about, even if that process means you’ll have to sacrifice a lot of yourself to get there.

Eh, I've always had the completely opposite mindset towards "existing". Not sure if it's something that just "clicks" on someone and I will change my mind about it someday. I don't feel like existing is significant since existing is all there is, from where I see it. I can't compare existing to not existing. And that ancestry stuff makes feel a bit guilty since it means all my ancestors were normal people and I don't even want to have children (meaning my family tree dies with me).

You could smoke DMT and then you could compare existing to not existing, seriously.

I mean yeah.. fundamentally existing is all there is maybe.. big maybe the physics aren't in on that yet.

But existing as you and as the product of so many things is significant.

And the most significant thing of all is that you're around to consciously reflect on existing.

Things could exist without you existing, but you wouldn't have an opinion on them regardless. So whatever opinion you have on the state of existence is a pretty miraculous and misunderstood philosophy.

The age old question: why is there something rather than nothing?

To me it can simply be answered, at least experientially, by understanding that something DOES exist so it's a decent assumption that existence itself "decided" that existence is *better* than non-existence. And even though it's not proof in itself - it's at least fun to follow down that path, and can get some beneficial results to your life.

That’s the most dangerous mindset to be in. Once you become comfortable and gracefully accepting of suicide, you need to be woken up immediately. You need to come to be uncomfortable with the conclusion that suicide is going to help you in any way, and that there is nothing more to life. To be woken up from this state, I suggest you talk to someone. Not an user on Jow Forums, to an actual person you know. Someone who, even if you’d like to think otherwise, really doesn’t want you to die.